Chapter 6

What is this feeling?

You come back to class holding zelos upper arm. Everyone was looking at you so you looked down to your shoes. You sat to your seat and hear a noise from behind. 'oh my gosh are you ok?'. 'Yeahh, let's just not talk about it..' Zelo sat to his seat and looked at you. You blushed and your friends laughed at you. Suddenly a folded papernote flew to your desk from behind. You looked behind you and saw your friend doing gestures *open the note* and pointing at the papernote. You did what she told you. -->You looked at her with a ''-___-'' face. Then she lifted her eyebrows and was like *what?? ^^'* You anwsered her with 'Nothing special...' And threw the papernote back to her. You heard her writing something again and it didn't take long that the paper flew back to you. ''awwww, c'mon tell me c;'' You sighed and wrote. ''well, we talked and... zelo kissed me'' When your friend was reading the note she shouted ''aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwww'' very loudly.  ''shhhhhhhh, shut uupp''. you started to blush again. Zelo looked over to you and laughed. you wrote a letter back to her. ''Tell no one!! if you do, you're dead!'' She smiled and nodded. 

The lesson ended and you had PE next. (Luckily it was the last hour of school) You changed into your sport outfits and went to the sports hall. 'Alright, we're going to play baseball today!' The PE Teacher said. Everyone were happy about that game. You looked over Zelo, he was happy with his friends.'Wahh... Did he really kiss me...

At the end of PE hour the teacher said 'alright, we need 2 volunteers to take these baseball bats back to the sports storage. You raised your hand. 'Me, Teacher!' 'Ok, Monika, anybody else?' Zelo raised his hand. I was happy 'Me, teacher'. We went to the storage. The lights didn't work so you left the door open. 'So, you ok now?' 'Yeahhh..' You anwsered and started lifting the baseball basket up and accidentally dropped them to the ground and they got all over the place. 'eeeekkkk' You shout... Zelo looks at you 'hehe, oops'You say ang laugh. You started to collect the balls. Until you stepped on one of the balls and tripped over 'Woahhh!!' You fell over zelo. You both were laying on the ground and your faces were close to each other. You started blushing 'o-omg! are you ok i'm sorry' Zelo started to laugh. 'Now i remember why i like you' .. Wait a minute.... 'You like me..?' You asked and blushed again. *SSLLAMM*  'ww-what was that, why is it so dark??' You asked and you were afraid, You both got up and realized that someone slammed the door shut. Zelo tried opening it but it didn't work. 'We're locked in!'

 

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ilovebapxo #1
Chapter 9: PLEASE UPDATE MOREE !! <3
kepumusse #2
You should consider a beta-reader for your fics. You have quite many beginner mispellings, such as crab (*grab), glass(*class), sit to my seat (*sit on my seat) Everyone are (*everyone is) up to dress up (*up to dressing up). You should also always write the pronoun "I" with capital I.

All these are just from the first chapter, which is barely half a page.

Grammatical errors and misspellings make stories hard to follow and the reader can't grasp the atmosphere etc. you're trying to convey because he/she gets distracted with them. You also come across as more professional, if you manage to write proper English. If you can't, then just stick to your native language.

I also didn't quite appreciate the way you used pictures in your story. It just makes me think that you were too lazy to actually describe the things in picture.
Ambrelamotte #3
Update please !!!^^
jello_
#4
Chapter 8: I really like this story^^
Update soon~
Xoxo424 #5
Chapter 2: This story......i keep rereading it. <3 hehe. Update soon :)
Xoxo424 #6
Chapter 1: please update soon