Chapter 1

What is this feeling?

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

I wake up since the alarm clock almost gave you a heart attack. 'ughhghg' I mumble and get up from your bed. I try to walk to the bathroom but almost trip over the stuff you left on the floor. 'Damn, i should've clean up my room'. I pick up a black hoodie from the floor and put it on. Today is totally not a day i'm up to dress up nicely. What am i talking about, there is not a such day as that. i looked over to the clock and.. HOLY ! My bus is coming in 10 minutes! I crab my makeups, an apple, my schoolbag and my jacket and run to the bus stop. I pull the hood of my jacket over my face since there are my glassmates in the same bus stop and i don't want them to see me without makeup. I would've easily had time to put my make up on since the bus arrived ten minutes late. 'Perfect

'Heeeeyyy Monika!' I heard words behind me. It was my friend Linnea. 'Hey' I said and smirked. 'Aren't you wearing any make up today?' I opened my eyes more and said 'ohhh i forgot!'.  'See you at glass!' I shouted and ran over to the school bathroom an locked my self in. I put my make up on and quickly ran to glass. I sit to my seat and sigh. Everyone are talking about something. All i hear is hubhub. 'Hey Monika!' My friend shouted from the seat behind. 'What is everyone talking about?'      'I don't know, there's a rumour going on that there is going to be a new student to our class.' 'What? Really? Is it a boy or a girl?'. 'I heard he's a foreign boy '

Everyone became quiet since the teacher came to the room. 'Alright children, we have a new student. He's not finnish so speak english to him' The teacher explaned. Then the new student came in from the door. Do you know that one moment when everything goes slow motion and your heart stops for a moment? Oh my ING God. How can this be.

-

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ilovebapxo #1
Chapter 9: PLEASE UPDATE MOREE !! <3
kepumusse #2
You should consider a beta-reader for your fics. You have quite many beginner mispellings, such as crab (*grab), glass(*class), sit to my seat (*sit on my seat) Everyone are (*everyone is) up to dress up (*up to dressing up). You should also always write the pronoun "I" with capital I.

All these are just from the first chapter, which is barely half a page.

Grammatical errors and misspellings make stories hard to follow and the reader can't grasp the atmosphere etc. you're trying to convey because he/she gets distracted with them. You also come across as more professional, if you manage to write proper English. If you can't, then just stick to your native language.

I also didn't quite appreciate the way you used pictures in your story. It just makes me think that you were too lazy to actually describe the things in picture.
Ambrelamotte #3
Update please !!!^^
jello_
#4
Chapter 8: I really like this story^^
Update soon~
Xoxo424 #5
Chapter 2: This story......i keep rereading it. <3 hehe. Update soon :)
Xoxo424 #6
Chapter 1: please update soon