Chapter 8

What is this feeling?

You met Vivi at your favorite coffee shop. You ordered a cup of tea and she ordered coffee. 'So you were ''locked'' in a room with Zelo?' you smirked 'Pretty much..' She looked jelaous 'so, did you guys do something?' She asked and raised her eyebrows. 'Yes Vivi, yes we did.' She wident her eyes. 'Like what??' 'We have kissed already' You were teasing her. She almost fainted. ' you, you're so lucky' You laughed. 'I know she's so lucky!' Vivi looked shocked. You looked behind you. 'Zelo, what are you doing here?' He looked at Vivis shocked face, and waved 'hi i'm junghong' She made a ''dot you think i know that'' face, But waved back. 'Anwser my question' 'I'm here with my hyungs.' You were thinking for a while 'Do you mean the rest of BAP?' Zelo nodded. You and Vivi were so exited. 'Can you bring them here?' He pointed over his shoulder 'They are here' They walked into the coffee shop. They looked so cool. Vivi was in a shock because Daehyun was her Bias. She fixed her hair and tried not to blush. 'Yo, junghong who are these ladies?' Bang Yongguk asked. 'This is my girlfriend' He said and pointed at you. You blushed and saw vivi looking at you angrily cause you didn't tell that you were dating 'and this is... umm..' 'I-I'm Vivi...., Hi' She said and smiled. 'Want to join us? 'Sure!' Youngjae said. 'Daehyun, you can go sit there next to vivi.' You said and smirked to Vivi. He sat next to Vivi and vivi blushed and was hiding her smile.  'How can you know my name?' Daehyun asked. You remembered that they didn't know that you were a fan of theirs. 'oh, ummm...' Zelo laughed and put his hand to your shoulder 'She's a BABY.' 'Baby ? in here, that's amazing!' Daehyun said. 'I heard there is a festival today, at the park near here' Himchan said. 'Cool wanna go?' Zelo asked you 'Um, Sure! Right Vivi?' She nodded and smiled. 'Let's go!'

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I'm so sorry, i haven't been uptading ;-; 

This chapter is so short but i'm busy with school >< I'll make better soon.

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Comments

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ilovebapxo #1
Chapter 9: PLEASE UPDATE MOREE !! <3
kepumusse #2
You should consider a beta-reader for your fics. You have quite many beginner mispellings, such as crab (*grab), glass(*class), sit to my seat (*sit on my seat) Everyone are (*everyone is) up to dress up (*up to dressing up). You should also always write the pronoun "I" with capital I.

All these are just from the first chapter, which is barely half a page.

Grammatical errors and misspellings make stories hard to follow and the reader can't grasp the atmosphere etc. you're trying to convey because he/she gets distracted with them. You also come across as more professional, if you manage to write proper English. If you can't, then just stick to your native language.

I also didn't quite appreciate the way you used pictures in your story. It just makes me think that you were too lazy to actually describe the things in picture.
Ambrelamotte #3
Update please !!!^^
jello_
#4
Chapter 8: I really like this story^^
Update soon~
Xoxo424 #5
Chapter 2: This story......i keep rereading it. <3 hehe. Update soon :)
Xoxo424 #6
Chapter 1: please update soon