Luhan has always dreamed a dream; somewhere between the soft kisses of the wind and the top of Seoul tower. He inhaled a long, deep breath, shifting his bare feet over the cool, slightly rusted metal beneath him. He opened his eyes and saw the world revolving around him. The street moved in an incoherent blur, as if it was being hastily fast–forwarded, but nevertheless he enjoyed the short flings of those glittering lights.

Luhan then heard a small whisper; the words were incoherent, like a thousand birds chirping on his ears. He looked up and spotted a silhouette enshrouded by a thick, hazy mist. It stretched out his arms for Luhan, as if beckoning him to move closer towards it. Luhan took a timid step ahead before realizing that he was standing dangerously close to the edge; just another inch and he would fall, down and down to the ground below. Strangely, he realized it as fast as he fell. One moment he was staring down, the next moment he found himself plummeting in a rapid speed. The gravity pulled him down harsher than it should be and it scared the boy more than he scared fear. The air constricted around his throat, choking him from the inside out, as he turned pale blue. He closed his eyes, waiting for the crash to happen, to destroy all of his 206 bones like twigs, but it never happened.

Luhan found himself falling face first over the hard wooden floor of his decrepit apartment, half of his body helplessly clung onto the sullen blanket. The boy groaned at the stinging pain, his left cheek burnt like . Porcelain complexion decorated with a dash of pink over tearstains that have dried like second skin. He could never be accustomed to this thing called pain, never been a fan.

He rolled down sluggishly, wiggling off the blanket and tossed it back onto his forlorn bed. He made a beeline towards the restroom and when he was bent over the sink, wiping dried tears over the corner of his eyes, that he noticed how screwed up he must have looked right now. He received a view of disheveled, auburn hair, prominent eye bags, hollow cheeks, all wrapped up in skin and bones, from the figure who was staring back at him through the mirror.

His break with Kris hurt his heart like all of the tortures humankind could do. He couldn’t really shake off Kris’ incredulous reply, mixed with a hint of disappointment and a fair amount of sadness, “Why? I thought we are going strong. What did I do? Please Luhan, tell me!”

Nothing

Luhan thought

You have done nothing. It was me, who causes every mistake in this relationship. Everything was perfect in our relationship Kris, except me. I am the flaw.

The thought of hurting somebody who truly loved him devastated Luhan. He felt his heart being ripped off his chest, mutilated into pieces and being left there ruined. Kris was nothing more than a victim in this complicated situation. He didn’t know a damn about Sehun or the past he shared with Luhan. Kris kept on being that affectionate boyfriend; loving Luhan unconditionally at every opportunity given to him.

Luhan was disgusted at himself. He was shocked at the decision he made. He wondered if he were given the chance to turn back time, would he answer Sehun the same? Could he possibly love his nightmare even if it was only under the veil of pretension? Sehun damaged him to the point he thought he couldn’t be salvaged, but he was also the one who shook Luhan’s conscience.

Every time he was with Sehun, Luhan would feel as if the world was at its true place. It sickened him. It repulsed him. How could he possibly think of it when Sehun has done him wrong at every opportunity? His delicate skin throbbed under the memory of every punch and kick given by Oh Sehun years ago. He cursed himself for loving someone who was so wrong yet so right at the same time.

The morning seemed blue to Luhan, as it always have for the past few days. The emptiness of his apartment resonated like an echo; only the sound of his breath could be heard. Luhan stripped his clothes off and stepped into the shower; the hot water hit his sore skin, making him sighed in relief. There were several occasions where Luhan missed his large, pool – sized Jacuzzi back at his home. Other than being a total bookworm at school, Luhan lived an easy and luxurious life. He has countless maid at his service everyday, a personal butler and several bodyguards when he was in kindergarten. However his friends would talk about the presence of ‘scary men’ around him, preventing them from approaching the lonesome Luhan.

When Luha