Jaeseop's POV

Thankful that nothing is planned today I stay in bed for a while, still not feeling good but not as bad as yesterday. Ugh. I remember last night. What is wrong with me?! WHY DO I KEEP CRYING IN FRONT OF GUYS??? I sigh, feeling embarrassed about everything I said and how stupid I acted. At least Soohyun didn't seem to think I was stupid or anything but still. He probably thinks I'm just some pathetic girl who cries over everything. I shake my head in my pillow, wishing I hadn't done that. I sit up, rubbing my eyes and turning to see Kevin sleeping soundly next to me, what the heck? I smile, his hair falls messily in his face over his eyes. Looking away I get out of bed, going into the bathroom and closing the door. I look at my face and gasp, I look awful. Dark circles shadow my eyes and my face looks like that of a dead person. Uuuugh, I slap my face, WAKE UP. I turn on the water, splashing my face before going back out to the living room. Yuki is laying on top of Dongho while he watches some TV show lazily. I sit next to him, resting my head on Yuki, his fur soft and warm.

“Are you feeling better today?” I look up at Dongho's question.

“What?”

“Yesterday, you didn't look so good,” he looks at me concerned.

“Oh, I was just excited and nervous for the concert, but I'm better today,” I smile.

He nods and goes back to his show. Eventually the others flow into the room and join us, Kevin sits next to me and the rest on the floor. Why do they have such fancy stuff in this dorm yet only one small couch? I smile at the thought. At some point Dongho gets up and comes back a few minutes later, holding a box.

“Jae!” He jumps down next to me, “Let's color your hair!” He says excitedly.

I turn to him, “What?”

He shows me a box of white hair dye and I gasp, “Why would I bleach my hair?!?!” I put my hands protectivly over my dark brown hair.

Laughing he starts to open it, “Cuz, I heard your stylist said you should do something to your hair so why not? White would look really cool,” He smiles.

I sigh, not truly caring if he does or not, “Fine, but it had BETTER be white, and I mean WHITE not blonde or yellow or anything but white.” I say firmly.

“Don't worry, I've done it before, it works!” He says happily.

“You've done this before?” I ask, thinking how I would never imagined that boys sit around dying each others hair all day.

“Yeah,” he turns to Kevin, “Hyung, can you help me?” Kevin smiles, nodding and the two get to work on my hair.

Kiseop joins them after watching for a little, the dye creates a dizzying, chemically smell around my head. After about half an hour they've finally got all my hair pile on my head and dripping with the color.

“Because your hair is so dark you'll have to wait a while before washing it out,” Kiseop says, looking at his finished work.

“Okay, is it okay to sit on the couch like this?” I ask, not wanting to bleach the black couch.

“Don't worry, worse has happened on that couch,” he smirks.

“um... do I want to know?”

“No,” Dongho says quickly.

I shake my head, not going to ask. After an hour or so Kevin pokes at my hair, looking at the color, “Okay, I think it should be done now, come on!” He brings me into the bathroom and tells me to bend over the tub. He turns on the water and starts to rinse my head, I watch the chemicals flowing off my hair, the smell slowly dissipating. Once finished, he hands me a towel and I dry my hair quickly and turn to the mirror, “Oh my god!!” I yell, looking at my reflection.

My hair definitely is not blonde it white, like, paper white! And it looks freaking awesome!!! I finger through the shining strands and Kevin smiles, “That looks so cool!”

“I know! Thanks,” I hug him and he laughs as we walk back out.,

“Wow!!” Everyone crowds around me, touching my hair and complementing it.

“Haha, thanks!” I smile, forgetting the headache and cramps for awhile and spazzing over my new look.

“We should to something fun tonight,” AJ says after we had all sat down again.

“Like what?” Eli turns to him.

“I dunno, I just think it'd be fun to do something.”

“We could call up some friends and have a party!” Kibum jumps up at his idea.

“yeah!!!” Kiseop grins happily.

“We could call up some of the girls--” Eli gets cut off by Hoon.

“Dude, the number one rule you guys drilled into AJ and I's brains was no girls are allowed in our dorm.” He says, seeming disappointed at the rule.

I unconsciously lower my gaze. Great, I'm secretly breaking their number one rule. I catch Xander and Soohyun watching me from the corner of their eyes but the quickly look away.

“Fine, fine. How bout some of the guys?” Eli says, sounding slightly less excited.

“Yeah! We haven't seen them in forever,” Dongho says in a cheery voice.

“Okay,” Soohyun pulls out his phone, smiling, “I'll call them up!”

“OH! We should invite Jae's boyfriend too!!!” I choke on my own spit at Dongho's statement.

Everyone turns to me, “What?!”

I slap my face, “Dongho!”

:You have.. a BOYFRIEND???” Kibum yells in shock.

“N-no, I don't,” I send a glare to Dongho who obviously isn't affected because he continues on.

“Yeah, I saw them together the other day,” He smiles a typical innocent smile.

Everyone's gaze burns into me and I roll my eyes. AISH! Stupid Dongho, why would you say that?!

“So, you DO or DO NOT have a boyfriend?” Eli asks, looking confused.

“I don't!” I say firmly, not really wanting to announce that I'm considered “gay”.

“But-but you even kissed, why wouldn't he be?” My face becomes a furnace as I remember that night.

“DONGHO!” I yell, feeling extremely embarrassed.

“You kissed a guy??? Like, a real kiss?” Kiseop leans towards me, seeming curious.

“NOOOO! HE kissed ME and I DID NOT kiss him back!!!!!!” I can't believe I'm telling them this.

“So you're not into guys?” AJ sits down after standing up from shock earlier.

“W-well, y-y-yes, I am but I'm not d-dating anyone and he isn't my boyfriend...” I can hardly keep my voice calm and it probably shows through the stuttering

“Ah, I see. So you are but he did that without your consent.” Hoon ponders thoughtfully.

I take notice at how neither Soohyun nor Xander comment anything and neither did they seemed shocked when Dongho said what he did. I look from each member to the next and feel grateful at the fact that none seem weirded out or change the way their looking at me.

“Um, does... this bother you guys?” I ask hesitantly.

“Not really, it's fine.” Kibum smiles kindly with the others.

“yeah, it doesn't change anything,” Kiseop hugs me surprisingly.

“Can we still have a party tonight?” Kevin's question makes us all laugh and Soohyun continues on with his task from earlier of calling his friends.

“So what's his name?” Kiseop and Kevin both look at me.

“Who?”

They give me a “DUH” look, “The guy who kissed you!”

“Oh,” so their still curious, “He's my sunbae, Jonghyun.”

“Like from SHINee??” Kiseop says excitedly.

“Haha, I never realized they have the same name,” I laugh, “No, not the one from SHINee.”

“Oh, okay.”

Soohyun hangs up after multiple phone calls and smiles, “Everyone can make it!”

“AWESOME!” Alexander jumps up, “Should we order some food or something?”

Isn't that obvious if you're throwing a party? I laugh at him and nod.

“Kay, should we get pizza and rent some movies then?”

All of us agree on a couple movies and Eli calls the pizza place. An hour later a knock sounds at the door and Yuki barks loudly at the noise. I still don't even know who's coming over but Dongho and Kiseop run over to the door and I stand up with the others.

“Heeeey!!!!” A slightly familiar voice says from behind the door and I hear several greetings made before a group of guys comes in.

Is that... MBLAQ?!?!?!?!

“I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU GUYS IN SO LONG!!” Mir runs over and hugs each of the guys and stops at me, “you must be the new member Jaeseop!” He hugs me too and my eyes widen.

Well then, isn't he friendly. The other guys come in and do pretty much the same thing, all introducing themselves to me and I to them.

“Hyung,” Dongho pokes Soohyun, “I think the pizzas here, you have to go pay.”

He nods and goes to the door, coming back with several boxes of pizza. Good lord, are they really planning on eating all that?!?!

“PIZZA TIME!” He yells grinning at the tantalizing smell.

“Oh, wait I have an idea!” Kibum pulls Eli, Kiseop and I away and into one of the rooms, “Help me bring some of the mattresses out there to sit on!”

“Oh, good idea,” I say, gabbing one side of the mattress.

We all lift it out of the room and set it in front of the couch then bring one more, setting it against the wall. Everyone grabs a plateful of pizza I stare at their HUGE portions and look down at mine. 2 slices. Honestly I don't even feel like eating but I took it to be polite. I place myself next to Soohyun at the end of one of the mattresses and turn my attention to the TV screen as the first of the movies we picked out starts.

As the credits roll, I stretch my arms, feeling tired after sitting from so long and the pizza made my stomach even worse and I feel kinda sick but force myself not to show it.

“Should we watch another movie?” Xander asks, though he doesn't really seem to want too.

“Nah, let's do something else,” Seungho says.

“Yeah, let's play a game or something,” Dongho sits up from his spot.

We all sit in silence, trying to think of something but no one says anything.

“I got nothing.” Mir says frustratedly.

“Let's just talk, we haven't seen each other in waaaay too long.” Leejoon says, leaning back, his arms behind his head.

Soohyun's POV

We tried to play a game but it quickly stopped as we ended talking with each other for hours. The guys asked Jaeseop a lot of questions and she replied happily, seeming to enjoy hanging with them. My mind wanders to what Dongho said earlier. She told him she was gay? I guess it makes sense, at least she can still like guys even though she's pretending to be one... I go back to listening to the others, they're talking about their favorite female celebrities now. Glancing over I see Jaeseop looks really tired, her eyes slightly closed.

“Who do you think is the hottest?” Seungho asks Jaeseop who looks up.

“Oh, uhm I don't really know...” She says quietly.

Thunder scoots over next to her, “Oh come on, there must be someone,” he smiles deviously.

“Not really,” she says, her face a little red.

“WHAT!?” All of them exclaim.

“How can you not have at least ONE girl you think is hot?!?!” Mir asks, mortified.

“I don't know, I guess none of them have caught my eye.” I can tell she wishes they'd stop pestering her and I know she doesn't want to tell them she likes guys. WHICH, is perfectly fine since she's a girl but no one knows that.

“Wow, that's weird.” Seungho laughs, “Well is there anyone you know other than celebrities that you like?” he asks hopefully.

She hesitates but actually answers, pulling my attention, “I-I think so.” She says softly and immediately all of us are asking who it is but she doesn’t say.

“Oh come on!!! was I right about earlier????” Dongho whines and the guys look at him.

“Who????” They ask in unison.

Dongho opens his mouth to answer but Kevin puts his hand over his mouth, “If he doesn't want anyone to know that badly you should respect that.” Good job Kevin.

“Awwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Mir yells, turning to Jaeseop, trying to act aegyo and get her to answer.

Obviously it doesn't work and all of us laugh at his devastation of the failed aegyo. After several hours some of the younger guys start to look tired and Jaeseop is practically asleep. She leans against the wall, her eyes less than half open. I wonder if she still isn't feeling well? Just as her eyes close completely I pull her head onto my lap for her to lay on and I see Dongho and Thunder have also fallen asleep, Mir close to following them.

“He seems nice,” G.O. smiles at Jaeseop.

“Yeah,” Xander answers, grinning, “He something alright.”

I remember how sad she seemed last night and find it hard to smile with them. I feel her tense and look down to see a pained expression on her face. If the other guys weren't here I'd probably rub her back again but they might find that strange.

“Well, I see my lazy dongsaengs have fallen asleep here,” Seungho gestures to them.

“Haha, I guess so,” Kibum chuckles as Mir snores ever so slightly.

“You guys can just stay the night, no need to wake them,” Alexander tells him.

“yaaaay!” Leejoon stretches out on the bed.

Kevin and Eli also lay back, looking equally as tired. Kibum, AJ, G.O. and Hoon get up and go into another room, not enough space in here. I realize that now that everyone is laying down, Jaeseop and I have no room either. Sighing I try to wake her but she just moans and curls up more. I laugh, picking her up and bringing her back to my room knowing that it's the only one left with a mattress not taken. Setting her down she curls up again and I close the door and flip the light switch. I look back at her and laugh, wondering how she can sleep comfortably with her knees pulled up to her chin. I crawl under the covers, feeling cold and sigh as I lay down. My eyes don't close however... Why do I feel so captivated by her? I find myself watching her as she sleeps peacefully, open a tiny bit as she breaths softly. I don't even realize what I'm doing until my lips are against hers, gently kissing her before my face starts to burn and I instantly sit up. My heart beats so quickly it might burst and I look back to her but I don't think she woke up. God, what am I DOING!?!?!

“What was that for?” A small voice asks and I whip around as Jaeseop sits up slowly, not seeming anymore awake than before.

Her eyes shine a little in the dimness and she stares intensely at me. I search her eyes for any sign of anger but don't find it. She's not upset?

“I-I-I,” I can't seem to think straight but she giggles cutely.

I don't know what to do. Why can't I think?! Aish! Dammit! I watch her as she continues to look at me, still waiting for an answer so I decide to give her one. Leaning forward I kiss her again, this time a real kiss, my lips pressing against hers with actual pressure. She doesn't react for a second but then I feel my heart flutter as she returns the kiss, her soft lips pressing on mine. I put my hand on the side of her face, pulling her a little closer before breaking away, breathing heavily and my chest feeling like it's about to explode, my heart beating so fast.

“Jae?” I whisper, this the first time I'm calling her that, “is there really someone you like?” I look into her gaze and she nods.

I feel my heart drop along with my gaze, “I-I'm sorry...”

Giggling again I look up at her, “You didn't even ask who it is.” She lays back down and I realize she has a aegyo side to her as well.

I fall onto my pillow, “Who do you like?” I ask almost not wanting to know the answer.

“Well, I haven't known him long enough to know for certain yet. But I think I do,” She smiles.

“Who?” I beg but she just puts her finger to her lips, hushing me.

Fine, don't tell me. I look back at her and my annoyance fades seeing that her hand is on her stomach and she looks unhappy.

“Dammit,” she whispers, turning on her back.

It must being a girl. Eventually she drifts back into sleep and I feel reality start to slip away from me as well before closing my eyes.