I lean against Kiseop on the way back, his head on top of mine. Dang, I feel exhausted....

“Jae...” A gentle shake brings me to reality and I realize I fell asleep in the car, “We're home,” Dongho smiles.

I nod tiredly and climb out of the van, following the others inside. All too tired to talk we head to our separate rooms and just as I'm about to lay down to sleep and cramp streams through me. I remember that the pill I took is probably wearing off.

“Dammit.” I mumble, going back out to put on my shoes.

“What's wrong?” Dongho asks.

I look up at him, “Oh, um, I just need to go buy something real quick, I'll be right back,” I get up but I see he is also putting his shoes back on.

“I'll come with,” he grins through his exhaustion.

“Oh no, Dongho just go to bed, it'll only take a minute,” he defiantly can NOT come with to buy this with me.

“But you shouldn't go alone this late,” he looks up innocently.

“I'll go,” Soohyun come sup behind him and puts on his shoes, “Go to bed Dongho, it's late,” he smiles at the disappointed maknae but he listens, waving bye to me and going back to the room.

Once he's gone I glance over at Soohyun who smiles at me, “Let's go.”

“Uh, it's really okay, I'll just go myself,” I nod to him and start to leave but he jumps by my side.

“I don't care if you're supposed to be a guy, you're still tiny and it's late at night so I'm coming with,” he nudges me and laughs.

Ugh. Great, now he can see what I'm buying.

As we walk to the small convenient store near the dorm Soohyun turns to me, “Great job today Jaeseop, really. You were awesome,” He gives me a side hug with a grin.

“Thanks,” this is the first time he's complemented me and I feel a little shy.

We go into the store and I stop, really not wanting him to be here.

“What's wrong?”

“Uh, just... wait here.” I say, hoping he'll cooperate.

Of course not though, “I wanted to get something here too so come on,” He walks ahead of me and I feel too tired to continue the argument.

I also feel sick again, my head pounding in a steady rhythm. Uuuuuugh. I walk down the aisle containing the item I need and feel Soohyun staring at me, “W-what?”

“Are you buying what I think?”

I feel my face flush red, “Depends on what you're thinking!” I yell defensively, walking a little faster.

“Ahhhh, so that's why you suddenly looked really sick,” he says when I grab a box off the shelf and I glare at him.

“I told you not to come.”

Giggling at me he says, “You're so cute when you're angry.”

“How old are you again?” He asks randomly.

“Same as Dongho, a few days younger though.” I answer flatly.

“I see, womanhood has already come upon you then,” I slap him on the arm, glaring as harshly as I can manage in my sickly, tired state, “What? Everyone knows girls your age have it,” he seems to be enjoying himself too much.

He walks to the back, grabbing what looks like an energy drink and we head to the counter to pay. We put our items down and the guy behind the counter looks up, eying us weirdly as he sees what we're buying and I remember I'm dressed as a guy.

“Uh, if you could finish some time this year that would be nice,” Soohyun breaks the silent stare of him and he quickly rings up the items and we leave.

Holding the bag I start to wonder where I can put this so no one finds it... maybe in my suitcase? I don't know, I'm so tired...

Soohyun's POV

Jaeseop walks slowly next to me, leaning a little to one side from exhaustion. I smile, putting my arm around her to steady her. To my surprise she doesn't protest, she seems really tired, poor thing. We get back to the dorm but she doesn't go in, instead staring at the bag, looking deep in thought. I know what she's wondering,

“You know, I have a box for my stuff in the bathroom that no one is allowed to touch cuz everyone tries to steal my stuff so you could put that in there if you'd like?” I suggest.

She looks up, seeming defensive about the subject but nods, “T-thanks...” She bows a little.

“No problem,” I smile, bringing her inside and showing her where I'm talking about.

Leaving her in there to do whatever it is she needs to I go into my room and find that Kevin and Eli are gone.

“What the...?” I walk back out, checking each of the members rooms but find them asleep with Dongho, they look like they feel asleep without meaning to, no one is covered by a blanket. Grinning I go in, turning off the light after covering them up. Walking back out I bump into Jaeseop and realize there's no more room in that bed for her.

“Uh, Eli and Kevin fell asleep in your bed.” I say to her but she barely responds.

“I'll just use the couch or something,” she mumbles.

“Tch, just sleep where Kevin and Eli usually do,” I pull her into my room, pointing to the big mattress we share and pick her up, a sharp intake of air comes from her and I laugh, setting her down on the bed before turning the light off and closing the door. I see her sit up as I crawl into bed. Oh. I don't think I thought this through very well.

“Hehe, just sleep, you look really tired,” I say, trying to relax her.

Obviously not in a sound state of mind she lays down, facing me nonetheless and closes her eyes. Yeah, definitely need to work on thinking things through, I think as I feel my face heat up. She really does look like a girl if you think about it, more so than Kevin's more feminine face, she just generally looks like one. The way her face curves in, her big eyes and-- HOLY CRAP. What the hell am I thinking?!? I blink the thoughts away but can't pull my gaze away from her in the dark room. I don't think she's actually sleeping because her brow is creased and her breathing is hard, coming more in spurts than a regular pattern. Sighing, I sit up and pull her up with me, her eyes widen and I see she seems a little scared.

“Turn around,” I order but when she doesn't get it I turn her myself, her back facing me.

I put my hands on her back and feel every muscle is tensed and worsens at my touch but I start to massage her, starting at her neck. Moving down I feel the muscles start to relax and her breathing slows down a little. I hear a sniffle come from her and lean forward, looking at her face to see a couple tears rolling down her face.

“Why are you crying??” I ask frantically.

She shakes her head but I press for her to answer so eventually she sighs, “I-I just... I never thought that this is how I would debut. Not that I don't feel happy but I have to pretend to be a guy and deceive the other members and it makes me feel like a liar and a terrible person,” she whispers pathetically, more tears coming.

POV Change

I watch through the crack in the door as Soohyun's hands massage Jae, a burning feeling inside my stomach. I wish that could be me... Wait, is Jae crying? I lean in closer but can't make out what he's saying, the words to faint. I want to go comfort him but Soohyun's arms are already around him, patting his back as he sobs quietly in the dark. I look away, not wanting to watch anymore. Why do I feel this way? Why do I feel this way about another guy... Sure people have sometimes said I'm not very manly but never ...gay... Could I be? My head hurts from to many thoughts and I shake it, trying to clear them, going back into the room to try to sleep.

Soohyun's POV

After crying herself out Jaeseop leans against my chest and I hum a soft song so she can fall asleep. After a while she does and I lay her gently back down, covering her up before lying down myself, snuggling under the blankets and falling asleep.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Warmth emanates from the front of me and I open my eyes to see Jaeseop inches from me, still sleeping peacefully, her face not seeming to show if she's better or not but I do see dark circles under her eyes. Rolling over I grab my phone, 11:50 am. I smile at how late we slept in, nothing scheduled for today, not even practice. Jaeseop stirs, opening her eyes a little and I lay back next to her, “Morning!”

She smiles a little in response but it quickly disappeared when her eyes widen before closing again and she moans. Guess she's not feeling better. I sigh and sit up, rubbing her back and it seems to help because she relaxes a little.

“Can I get you anything?” I ask quietly, knowing everyone else are most likely still sleeping. She buries her face in the pillow, shaking her head. I laugh a little as I see that her tiny body barely takes up any of the bed, unlike both Kevin ad Eli., we're usually squished together.

“Oh hyung, you're awake?” Kevin pokes his head through the door, collapsing onto the bed on the other side of Jaeseop.

“Yah, why'd you fall asleep in Dongho and Jaeseop's room last night?” I poke him.

“Nnn, we were talking and must have just fallen asleep,” he mumbles, his face in the bed.

I roll my eyes but lay down again, sighing blissfully.

“Jae,” Kevin sits up, looking like a zombie, “Sorry for stealing your bed last night.” He says tiredly.

“Uhn.” Jae grunts into her pillow and I laugh.

Kevin faceplants again into the blankets and I think he fell back asleep, so I grab my phone and play around on the internet until I hear movement outside my room.