The illuminated clock on her nightstand read 12:48am. Her bedroom was pitch black except for the gentle glow emitting from her computer monitor. She lazily sprawled herself on her computer chair with an empty bottle in her hand; her light headedness almost made her forget she was even home. She planned to change her head bandage in the morning. It was only a few days ago that she pushed Kim Taeyeon away from the bus and she still regretted it.

 

She placed the bottle next to the other empty bottles next to her keyboard and continued to stare at the email she created before wiping the remaining wetness from the side of her eyes.

 

Nothing made sense anymore.

 

She didn’t know what she was doing.

 

All she had to do was watch the bus hit her and that stupid girl would have been out of her hair. But no, something inside her forced her to take action. Forced her to push the little out of the way and forced her to get hit by the braking bus instead. Thank god for her conditioning training or else she would’ve had every bone broken in her body.

 

She grabbed her muted cell phone next to her and saw that there were 20 missed calls and over 50 unread text messages, all coming from Jessica. It was funny that out of all times Jessica chose to show any interest in her, it was now. She haphazardly threw her phone on her bed, not caring if it were to bounce onto the floor. She noticed that the file she uploaded onto the email finished and all she needed to do was to click ‘send’.

 

She hated Kim Taeyeon. Oh she hated her so much. With every fiber in her body there was nothing but hatred for her. She was so tempted to upload everything and watch the girl’s life spiral down into total depression, but she knew that if she wanted her plan to go smoothly, she would have to take it one step at a time.

 

The girl pulled out her most cherished item from her pocket and placed it onto her night stand.

 

I’m sorry mommy, but I need to do this.

 

Taking in a deep breath, she grabbed the mouse and quickly clicked send without hesitation. She anxiously waited for the webpage to load. In a few seconds, she saw that her massive email to every student and faculty member was successfully sent and slowly exhaled in satisfaction while grabbing another bottle that stood on the ground.

 

She took another big swig of her bitter beverage. She started to feel proud of herself, but suddenly she felt her heart becoming heavy again and felt another wave of guilt and sorrow. Memories of her mother were rushing through her mind again and the painful memories were being relived.

 

Why did you choose her mommy? I don’t want her to be the one. Can’t I just choose my own destiny?

 

Tiffany slammed the glass bottle on her computer table with a loud bang. She promised she would never shed tears again after that day, but her body betrayed her as she could feel moisture rushing down her cheeks again. She knocked over her chair in rage before collapsing onto her bed and hugged her favorite Totoro doll in order to find comfort.

 

She didn’t hold back as she wailed her heart out, letting her tears fall freely down her face. How she yearned for the familiar embrace of a caring parent. Her heart ached so badly that she hoped the pain would eventually take her away to see her mother again, but she knew she couldn’t escape. There was no running away from her mother’s plans.

 

***

 

It has only a few days since Yuri stayed at Taeyeon’s house; she had to make sure she didn’t have a concussion. She spent the entire weekend picking up Taeyeon’s hopes and trying to get her mind off of Tiffany. The last thing she wanted to believe was the mushroom actually ‘saved’ her friend.

 

Tuesday already came and Yuri walked to school alone since she woke up late. She guessed Taeyeon waited up for her and eventually left by herself; she planned to apologize later. As Yuri walked down the halls she saw a lot of students in small groups bunching up and watching something on their phones. She was about to ask someone what they were watching until a random girl stopped Yuri in the hallway.

 

“Hey Yuri! Did you see the vid yet?” the random girl asked. “Everybody in school is talking about it. The girl in the vid is your friend Kim Taeyeon right?” She paused the video and showed it to Yuri. The images were hard to make out, but it looked like it was taken outside of a locker. Yuri’s eyes began to widen as she now understood what the video was.

 

“Where the hell did you get this video?” Yuri stammered.

 

“Everybody in school got it this morning.”

 

This was bad.

 

This was very very bad.

 

If Yuri was a betting woman, she would bet that this was the blackmail Taeyeon feared of ever coming out. She had a real urge to break out in a sprint right now to look for Taeyeon.

 

“Did you wanna watch it with me? I didn’t finish it but it sounded like she was crying while admitting some stuff. You know I always found the new girl a little odd but,-”

 

“Okay just stop right there.” Yuri held her hand up. “First of all I don’t wanna watch it because it’s none of my business. Second, I don’t care what the video is about because no matter what Taeyeon is a good girl. This is just a really low attempt of bullying on an innocent student. Besides, we don’t even know if it’s real or not,” Yuri tried to explain.

 

“You know, the video looks pretty real to me. Some of my friends said it’s kinda funny and it’s only a matter of time before-”

 

“Oh shut up!” Yuri yelled in frustration as she dashed off to find Taeyeon. She could only imagine how her friend was feeling right now. When she could barely hear the sobbing of her friend from everybody’s cell phone, she tried her best to plug her ears since she wanted to honor Taeyeon’s privacy; at the same time she was curious and tried to fight the temptation of listening in. Whatever that video showed, it was best that

Taeyeon told her first rather than from the other kids.

 

It felt like she ran for a good half hour, yet she still couldn’t find Taeyeon; she ran through the entire school looking through all of classes she could’ve been in. She was about to run again when she heard her phone telling she received a text. Before checking her phone, a thought popped into her head.

 

Wait a minute… I could’ve just called Taeyeon and asked where she was instead of running around the school like a mad woman. My god, I’m so stupid sometimes.

 

Yuri was going to beat herself up later. She checked her phone and saw that the sender was labeled Ice Princess.

 

I found your friend Ms. Kwon Yuri. We’re in the top floor library. It’s empty since the librarians didn’t show up yet. I suggest you come up and see how she’s doing

 

Yuri was relieved that Tiffany didn’t get to her friend yet. She started to make her way to the library when another thought popped into her mind.

 

How the heck did Jessica know I was looking for her?

 

Suddenly another text appeared on her phone by the same sender and the message sent a cold shiver down her spine.

 

I just know.

 

***

 

Yuri looked left and right throughout the gigantic school library. For a nice public school, she questioned if the students really needed a library that was bigger than the city’s public library. Eventually she ended up in the very corner of the library where she found Taeyeon sitting at a table inhaling sharp breaths and Jessica standing a few feet from her with her arms crossed.

 

“It’s about time you made it.” Jessica walked up to the taller girl. “She was like this when I found her. It’s safe to say she knows about the video coming out.” Yuri ignored Jessica and knelt beside Taeyeon’s side while putting her hand on her back.

 

“Hey Taeng,” Yuri said in a comforting voice, “are you okay?” Taeyeon didn’t bother to offer a glance. It felt like middle school was repeating itself all over again and there was no way she could run from it. The feeling of misery and hopelessness were beginning to flood her mind again and she felt her entire body beginning to convulse. She did the best she could to look strong in front of Yuri.

 

“Please Taeyeon, you have to talk to me. Did anybody hurt you?”

 

Taeyeon clenched her eyes in order to hold back the inevitable tears that were going to fall again. She shook her head in response without looking at her friend. The familiar pain in her chest was piercing her and she wrapped her arms around herself, wishing that everything would just go away.

 

She couldn’t keep seeing her friend like this. She really wished there was something she could to do to help her. For now, Yuri stood from behind and embraced her shaking friend, wanting to take away all the pain.

 

“Not that I want to break up this… moment,” Jessica stared at the two in annoyance, “but there are a few things I wanted to inform you about.”

 

“Can’t you see she’s suffering here?” Yuri glared at Jessica while keeping Taeyeon in her arms.

 

“Well of course Ms. Kwon Yuri, but Kim here is going to have to get it through her thick skull that everybody in the entire building knows about her so called ‘secret’,” Jessica mockingly air quoted with her fingers, “and being pathetic in a school library isn’t going to change anything.”

 

The last few words hit Taeyeon like a ton of bricks. Yuri felt her friend leave her arms and saw her sobbing in agony while clenching her chest, bellowing loud cries of pain and hopelessness.

 

“What the hell Jessica?! Why would you even say that?!” Yuri barked. She tried to console Taeyeon again by hugging her and patting her sides.

 

“Because it’s true,” Jessica scoffed. “What good is crying when it does absolutely nothing except excrete useless fluids from your eyes and nose? It’s disgusting.”

 

“You want to know what’s really disgusting? Your attitude! The poor girl is humiliated beyond belief and kicking her while she’s down doesn’t help the situation,” Yuri retaliated furiously. Jessica chose to keep shut as Yuri continued to calm Taeyeon down.

 

A few minutes passed and Jessica continued to stare at Yuri’s attempts to console her friend.

 

“Did you watch it yet?” Jessica muttered in a tired tone. Yuri just shook her head as Taeyeon was beginning to calm down; her shoulders stopped shaking and she dried her tears on her arm.

 

“In all honesty Kim, it’s not that bad of a secret. I figured that out the first time I met you,” Jessica said in a serious tone.

 

“Y-You don’t think it’s s-serious?” Taeyeon asked as she wiped her nose.

 

“No Kim. That secret of yours is just petty and stupid to worry about,” Jessica assured her. “Yes people may call you a freak, but there are worst things than that. Plus there will always be people who will look down on you for that. Probably even more since we live in Asia. I know in the states it’s a lot more understanding but-”

 

“Wait wait wait, hold on,” Yuri interjected with her hand raised. “Does anyone mind telling me what you two are talking about?”

 

Taeyeon shuddered, but swallowed hard before speaking. “You said you didn’t watch the video Yuri?”

 

“Yeah. I’m in the dark Taeng and I would really appreciate if you could tell me what you were trying to hide.” Yuri placed her hand on her shoulder. “Just remember, no matter what you’re still that dorky kid I met in the hallway,” Yuri reassured her.

 

“Oh for the love of- it’s not even that serious. Kim just tell the poor girl before I do. The whole school already knows so you might as well tell her,” Jessica interrupted them while pinching the bridge of her nose. “It’s not really a secret anymore.”

 

Taeyeon took a very deep breath and exhaled before meeting Yuri’s gaze. “Yuri…” Taeyeon tried to find the right words. “When I was in middle school I had friend who was really sweet and kind to me even though I was shy back then.”

 

“Kinda like me then?” Yuri pointed at herself jokingly. Taeyeon chuckled. “Not exactly like you, but…” Taeyeon paused, for wanted to choose her next few sentences very carefully. “During Valentine’s day I bought her a box of chocolates.”

 

“Oh that’s nice of you,” Yuri grinned.

 

“Ms. Kwon Yuri would you please stop interrupting?” A quick, unamused glance was spared for the two before she lost interest and pulled out her phone.

 

“Heh, I guess she’s right. I’m sorry, please continue.”

 

Taeyeon was feeling red in the face and a little dizzy as she remembered that day. “I gave my friend that box of chocolates, but …not as a friend.” Taeyeon paused for a moment to examine Yuri’s face. She could see Yuri looking left and right putting the pieces together in her head. After a few seconds, Taeyeon could see the imaginary light bulb above Yuri’s head as realization hit her.

 

Yuri looked to Jessica for confirmation, but she was too busy on her phone to care about what they were doing. She then looked back to her friend who was slightly cringing, waiting for Yuri to spit words of venom at her.

 

“You liked her,” Yuri whispered.

 

“Y…ye…yeah.”

 

“But as more than a friend.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“So that makes you…” Yuri trailed on. Taeyeon didn’t want to say it so instead nodded her head.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Silence fell in that moment and Taeyeon could feel Yuri’s gaze but was too afraid to meet hers. She kept her head low, waiting for Yuri to say anything. But instead of a verbal response, Yuri delivered a swift slap behind Taeyeon’s head.

 

“Oww! What the hell Yuri?!”

 

“Are you serious?!” Yuri jumped up from her seat. “Are you ing serious?!”

Taeyeon froze after hearing Yuri’s response. Her worst fears were coming to life and the only thing she could do was take it. She closed her eyes tight and waited for Yuri to hit her again.

 

“That’s your secret? You’re gay?!” Yuri paced around the table with her hands behind her head. Jessica was actually intrigued from Yuri’s outburst and put her phone away as she stared at Yuri.

 

“How in the hell is that supposed to be an incriminating secret?! My god I thought you were a cannibal or at least ran a ion ring!” Yuri was fuming while Taeyeon just looked confused.

 

“Yuri I-”

 

“I mean come on Taeng! We’re supposed to be friends! You should’ve told me sooner!” Yuri ruffled her hair in frustration as she glared at Taeyeon. “Don’t you trust me yet?”

 

“Yuri…”

 

The tanned girl could see that her friend was confused and scared right then so she took a deep breath and tried to relax. The last thing she wanted was more misunderstandings.

 

“Look Taeyeon,” she said calmly, “I’m not mad because you’re gay. I’m mad because it took you so long to tell me you’re gay,” Yuri smiled as she walked back to Taeyeon. “You see? I’m not mad.”

 

A heartbeat of nerves and worry, and then the negative feelings melted away - Taeyeon was feeling all warm inside as Yuri’s words finally penetrated her thick skull. This was the last thing she expected from her best friend. She had gotten all ready to relive the traumatic moments with Sunny, but instead was greeted with such an unexpectedly positive reaction from Yuri. For the first time in a long while, Taeyeon cracked a big, sincere grin before she gratefully threw her arms around Yuri’s middle.

 

“Thank you. I really did think you would cast me out like the rest of them,” Taeyeon admitted.

 

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I would never… wait a minute.” Yuri broke away from the hug to look at Taeyeon. “What do you mean cast you out?”

 

Before Taeyeon could say anything, Jessica answered for her as she walked closer to them.

 

“Really Ms. Kwon Yuri? You just learned that she’s gay, right?”

 

“Right...”

 

“Clearly you don’t mind homouals, but if you were to take South Korea as a whole, at what percentage do you believe would be accepting of gays?”

 

Yuri thought about it for a minute. She knew that Korea still had a long way to go when it came to gay rights.

 

“And on top of that, Kim here is from Jeolla which is more rural than suburban. How do you think those country people react to gays?”

 

“I think she gets the point Jessica,” Taeyeon butted in. “My class saw me confess to my friend and they were grossed out. I wasn’t aware of anybody when I confessed my feelings, but everybody else was. After that, people were calling me names like queer and and pushing me into walls. It was to the point where the kids verbally and physically abused on a daily basis.”

 

Yuri covered in shock, the brutal details of Taeyeon’s childhood stunning her into silence.

 

“So pretty much my past is repeating itself, but at least there’s one person who still likes me,” Taeyeon smiled.

 

Yuri patted Taeyeon on the head out of comfort. “Of course I like you Taeng. I would never leave you alone, even if you do look like a 10 year old.”

 

“Yah!” Taeyeon swatted Yuri’s hand away playfully and they shared a heartfelt laugh; Jessica looked away in disgust. After calming down a bit, Yuri cleared and looked at her friend very seriously.

 

“So umm… now that I know you’re gay…” Yuri said while trying to not look at Taeyeon.

 

“Yes?” Taeyeon’s eyebrow arched.

 

“Does that mean you... umm… saw me as a-”

 

“Ms. Kwon Yuri you will stop right there!” Jessica interjected furiously which caused Yuri and Taeyeon to turn their heads in surprise.

 

“Now I understand you figured out Kim is gay, but that doesn’t mean anything else. You’re waaaay out of her league.”

 

“Now hold on a minute! I am not… wait did you say I’m out of her league?” Yuri asked in confusion.

 

“Well of course you’re out of her league. When you two stand together it looks like a mother taking care of her stupid little son.”

 

“Why the heck do you and Tiffany keep calling me a boy?” Taeyeon yelled in disbelief. “I have s you know-” Taeyeon pointed at her chest “-they’re not as full as yours, but I’m still a girl damn it.”

 

“Taeng, hush up for a minute. Don’t get off topic Jessica. You said I’m out of her league, but that means you assume I’m gay as well,” Yuri slowly got up from her chair and advanced towards Jessica.

 

"What makes you come to that conclusion, Ms. Kwon Yuri?" Jessica asked. "I never mentioned anything concerning your ual orientation. That must be your subconscious defending itself."

 

"I- what? N-No... I even told you back at the mall that I was straight!"

 

“And I asked you back then to name five cute guys and the only name you came up with belonged to a girl,” Jessica snapped. “And don’t try to be smooth. I see you trying to get Kim’s attention all the time, acting like she’s a defenseless little puppy. It’s pathetic.”

 

“And what about you? Always pining over me since we’ve met and getting physical with me. If I were to guess, I’d say you were gay too,” Yuri pointed at Jessica.

 

“Ms Kwon Yuri, please,” Jessica scoffed. “I was just showing kindness to you. Don’t get the wrong idea. If I’m gay, then Tiffany is a man.”

 

“So Tiffany IS a man?” Taeyeon interrupted in all seriousness.

 

“Shut up Kim!” Jessica yelled as Yuri simultaneously breathed, “Taeyeon, not now…”

 

Taeyeon instantly quieted as the duo’s attention was reverted back to themselves.

 

“Okay then, prove it. Prove that you aren’t attracted to me.”

 

“And how am I supposed to do that?” Jessica asked bluntly.

 

In the spur of the moment, a crazy idea popped into Yuri’s mind and it seemed crazy enough to work. Yuri leaned closer towards Jessica and heard her let out a small squeak as she pinned her to the bookshelf. She saw that Jessica’s eyes were closed tight and she moved towards Jessica’s ear and whispered, “Don’t enjoy this too much.”

 

Jessica’s breathing started to speed up but as she opened her eyes, Yuri immediately knew that her course of action was probably a bad idea. In an instant, Jessica’s hand squeezed Yuri’s shoulder and the sensation of electrifying pain shot through her body, causing her to fall to the ground in screaming agony.

 

“Yuri!” Taeyeon shot out of her chair to attend to her friend, still trying to make sense of what Yuri just did.

 

“Oww,” Yuri grumbled. “Did you have to do the pressure points?”

 

“What the hell was that?!” Jessica barked, her loud voice sounding out of character.

 

“To be honest, I was in the moment and the idea sounded better in my head,” Yuri said on the ground, trying to fight back the pain in her left shoulder while Taeyeon helped her get up.

 

“If you EVER pull off like that again, I won’t be so nice next time! Do you hear me Yuri?!” Jessica roared throughout the library; her face was still flushed. Yuri and Taeyeon cringed in fear from the unexpectedly piercing voice, but Yuri noticed something odd in her statement.

 

“Wait a minute, did you just call me Yuri?” she raised her eyebrows skeptically.

 

“O-of course not! Stop imagining things Ms. Yur- Ms. Kwon Yuri.” Jessica caught herself on that one and she noticed the other two caught it as well. “Whatever. Don’t forget Kim still has a problem.”

 

Taeyeon pointed to her face. “Oh I’m sorry, am I not invisible anymore? Wouldn’t want to interrupt whatever you two were doing.”

 

“Taeng, it’s not like that,” Yuri continued to rub her shoulder. “Jessica just got me riled up for a minute.”

 

“So back to my problem, then?” Taeyeon asked. Her shoulders slumped pitifully. “What am I supposed to do? I can’t face everybody in school. They’re just gonna treat me like a freak like in my last school.”

 

“Kim, I think a little gay bashing from random kids is the least of your problems.”

 

“Least of my problems?” Taeyeon said sarcastically. “What’s worse than being ostracized by the entire school?”

 

“Did you forget who even sent-”

 

“Jessi, there you are!” A booming, husky voice rang out through the deserted library and Taeyeon and Yuri just noticed a girl with long brown hair and a bandage wrapped on her forehead appear behind a bookshelf next to Jessica.

 

Yuri quickly used her good arm to hide Taeyeon behind her; Taeyeon was slightly trembling to see that Tiffany was here; she still remembered the mushroom’s face after the accidental kiss.

 

“Jessi, why didn’t you tell me you were here with the darkie and the ? I want to get to know them more too,” Tiffany laughed. She smirked to see Taeyeon behind Yuri and made eye contact with the taller girl.

 

“Ah, I don’t believe we’ve introduced ourselves yet, have we?” Tiffany grinned menacingly.

 

“No need, I’m well aware of who you are,” Yuri snapped.

 

“Kim!” Tiffany ignored Yuri’s comment. “Long time no see you dirty . I swear we need to stop meeting like this,” Tiffany said sarcastically, but Taeyeon showed no signs of responding.

 

“Tsk.” Tiffany turned to Jessica. “Jessi, if you care about the dark , you’ll leave me and Kim alone,” Tiffany requested which sounded more like a command.

 

Yuri’s grip tightened on Taeyeon’s wrist at Tiffany’s words. Jessica only nodded in agreement. She approached Yuri and whispered quickly into her ear.

 

“Ms. Yuri this is going to sound very odd, but trust me. Kim is going to be fine.”

 

Yuri was about refuse, but Jessica kept a firm grip on Yuri’s left shoulder and Yuri felt her knees getting weak as she let go of Taeyeon.

 

“Now Kim,” Jessica whispered to the stunned girl. “You’re going to have to trust me on this too. She won’t hurt you much. Just try to get in her head and try to sweet talk to her. Trust me.”

 

“What?” Taeyeon was perplexed by the advice. She tried to grab Yuri’s hand, but Jessica pulled her away and covered Yuri’s mouth to muffle her objections. Eventually Jessica pulled Yuri out of the library and the only people left inside were Tiffany and Taeyeon.

 

“What’s the matter Kim? caught your tongue?” Tiffany mocked, expecting to experience a furious Taeyeon.

 

Instead of reacting like Tiffany expected, Taeyeon shook her head and looked Tiffany dead in the eyes with a monotone voice, Jessica’s last words echoing in her head.

 

“It’s good to see you Hwang.”

---

안녕! (annyeong)! I know, it's been over two months since my last update but I had to focus on school :( I really am sorry... But I'm back again! I hope everyone enjoys this little Christmas gift. To all my faithful readers, thank you so much for sticking with me for this long and I hope you enjoy what's next to come. Plan to post next chapter next week :)

Comments and constructive criticisms are always welcome. If you really enjoy the story so far, an up-vote would be most appreciated. Take care everyone and

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!