Wooyoung sniffles and takes out a random shirt from his wardrobe, when someone opens the door.

“Which one on the list do you feel like doing today?”

Wooyoung jumps a little hearing the voice and hastily pulls down the shirt down his body. “The heck Khun, don’t you know how to knock? I was getting dressed after showering!” Wooyoung complains. Nichkhun looks over at him in amusement, folding his arms around his torso and leaning against the door frame.

“What? Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“Excuse me?” Wooyoung widens his eyes, feeling his ears burning.

“I mean. You’re a guy, I’m a guy. We have similar body parts.”

“Ugh, don’t say something like that,” Wooyoung rolls his eyes. “I thought you’ve been spying on me or something.”

“You know what? Maybe I should. Put cameras in your room so I can always watch out for you; make sure you’re fine and always safe.”

“Now you’re just being creepy.” Wooyoung puts on his sweater, letting Nichkhun jump and slide on his bed, making himself comfortable there. It doesn’t even bother him how comfortable Nichkhun gets around him, or the fact that Wooyoung doesn’t even mind it himself. Did they let each other in way too much? Wooyoung sometimes wonder. He sits on the bed and leans his back on the wall.

“Not being creepy or anything, just caring,” Nichkhun props himself up on his side, leaning his head on his hand. “You okay?” He raises an eyebrow up. “Why are you taking a shower on a late afternoon? That’s very unhygienic.”

Wooyoung shrugs. He doesn’t tell Nichkhun he’s not feeling well and that he vomited too many times he smelled like one and needed to take a shower to get rid of the smell. Nichkhun pokes Wooyoung on his side with his foot.

“Are you okay?” he asks again, sitting up this time. There’s concern in his eyes but Wooyoung is feeling too tired to care so he only hums in reply. He does notice how Nichkhun’s eyes are trailing down to his swollen legs and ankles though and Wooyoung quickly covers them with the blanket.

“It’s the diuretic. My body reacts slowly to it, so it takes time to remove the water,” Wooyoung answers an unspoken question.

“Does it hurt?” Nichkhun whispers.

“Khun, it’s just water,” Wooyoung rolls his eyes. “But I do get really nauseated to the point of vomiting. I also tend to feel very light headed and just overall exhausted. And it’s annoying that I have to pee all the time.” He didn’t mean to come out really whiny, but years and years of keeping things to himself somehow made everything he said sounded like he was complaining. Maybe it was good to tell this to someone though. At least someone knows how it’s like.

“What are you doing??” Wooyoung asks when Nichkhun lays him down on the bed.

“You said you weren’t feeling well. You should rest. I’ll go,” Nichkhun explains as he gets up from the bed. “I hope you will feel better soon.”

“Wait,” Wooyoung quickly grabs Nichkhun on his wrist. “Are you really leaving?”

“Yes. Wooyoung, you need your rest.”

“No, stay,” Wooyoung bites on his lower lip. “I probably won’t be able to do anything, but we can talk?”

“You wanna talk,” Nichkhun echoes after him. He carefully lets go of Wooyoung’s hand on his wrist and puts it on Wooyoung’s side on the bed. “I think you just want me around,” Nichkhun grins. He pulls the chair from under the study table and drags it close to the bed before sitting down.

“I’m bored, you can’t leave me now,” Wooyoung reasons.

“That means I can leave you later?”

It's better if you don't have to, Wooyoung thinks. “You can if you want,” Wooyoung shrugs. “But for now, we talk.”

“Okay, we’ll talk,” Nichkhun mocks Wooyoung’s tone. “Do you have the energy to talk?”

“Of course. Do you think I’m that weak?” Wooyoung clicks his tongue in disapproval, although he really does feel kind of tired right now. Nichkhun has that usual grin on his face but there’s also that glint of worry and concern lingering at the crinkles of his eyes.

“What do you want to talk about anyway? I hope it doesn’t involve ice creams or fried chicken again.”

Wooyoung throws the smaller pillow at Nichkhun. “Anything. Or maybe, about you?”

“Me?”

“Yeah, about you. When did you come to Korea? How many siblings you have? What your parents do? Your hobbies?” Wooyoung waves his hand around in a useless gesture. Nichkhun picks up the pillow and hugs it.

“Why do you want to know though?”

“Why not? What else should we be talking about then? About my dream of opening my own ice cream factory?”

Nichkhun laughs. “But I told you my life isn’t that interesting.”

“Just tell me. I’m not gonna judge or disown you. Tsk.”

“Right. My family and I came to Korea around half a year ago? It was for my dad’s business trip but I fell in love with the country and decided to stay and graduate here.”

“You mean, they left and you live on your own now?” Wooyoung asks.

“Mmm, sort of,” Nichkhun shrugs. “Not completely independent cause they still bank in money for my monthly allowance.”

“So you’re telling me you’re living in that condo alone? Don’t you feel lonely?”

Nichkhun shrugs again. “I’m used to it, I guess. My brother comes to visit sometimes when he’s on a business trip. My family does business and what do you call it? Hereditary succession? Yeah.”

“Oh, wow. You sound very rich.”

“My family probably is, but I’m not. I’m just a student.”

“But still, you’re one of the heirs. You’re going to take over the business with your brother somehow, right?”

“One day,” Nichkhun confirms. “Everything’s already set up and done for me. I just have to keep moving forward towards that future.”

Wooyoung shapes his mouth into a silent “oh”. “Sounds very organized and easy to follow.”

“Yeah, and boring too. No surprises, no adventures. Where’s the fun in that?”

“Fun doesn’t come to you. You seek for it. Slow down and enjoy the journey. It can’t be that bad.”

“I don’t know, I feel like I don’t have that much time left to enjoy before I enter…adulthood,” he snickers. “But at least I know what to do and what I have to do.”

“Yeah, it’s just up to you on how to make the journey worthwhile.”

“It’s been nice and fun with you so far,” Nichkhun smiles. “I can’t believe I only have a few semesters left before I graduate and leave the country,” he continues in a hushed, thoughtful voice. Wooyoung unconsciously holds his breath in.

“You’re leaving?”

“Well, yeah. Our family’s business is based in the States. I have to go back there, eventually.”

“All the things that managed to leave me. Childhood, good snacks, time, and then my only friend will be leaving me next,” Wooyoung sighs heavily, making sure he sounds more joking than disappointed. Nichkhun bought it, his laughter filling the air.

“Don’t be such a downer,” Nichkhun stands up and presses his fingers on Wooyoung’s sides.

“No, no, Nichkhun, no,” Wooyoung shakes his head and squirms, trying to avoid Nichkhun’s tickle but to no avail. “Yah, I said stop!”

“Why should I?”

“Stop! Help! Nichkhun is trying to kill me!” Wooyoung screams but not loud enough for other people to hear because he sort of doesn’t want anyone to interrupt them. He swats Nichkhun’s hands away and moves upward, ending up bumping his head on the headboard. “Oww, owwww!”

“Are you okay?” Nichkhun’s laughter drifts off to giggles as he rubs his hand on the back of Wooyoung’s head.

“Now I’m super exhausted, thanks,” Wooyoung leans his head back, trapping Nichkhun’s hand. Nichkhun can choose to pull it away but he doesn’t. The position they’re in isn’t all that awkward but it doesn’t seem that comfortable either, with Nichkhun sitting so close to Wooyoung and he can’t stop staring now that he notices Nichkhun’s lips right in front of his face.

Those lips curl into a smirk. “Why don’t you just do it?”

“Huh?” Wooyoung forces himself to look up at Nichkhun, who’s staring back with a mischievous gaze.

“Kiss me.”

“What?!” Wooyoung faces away, feeling his cheeks reddening. “Why would I want to kiss you?”

“But you have it in the list, right?”

“What?”

“Kiss someone.” Nichkhun reminds him. Not that Wooyoung needed that.

“Uh, yeah. But it doesn’t have to be you.”

“Who then? Your brothers?” Nichkhun teases. Wooyoung knees him on his side and Nichkhun flinches a little even though his smile is still visible on his face. “You didn’t specifically mention who, so I could be one of the possible people for you to kiss.”

“Why do you want me to kiss you anyway?”

“So you can cross it off your list?”

“….Don’t try to be smart, Khun.”

“Well, if you don’t want to kiss me, it’s fine too. You had your chance~” Nichkhun pulls his hand and Wooyoung’s head bumps on the headboard again.

“Ughh, just admit you’re doing this so you can make fun of me later.”

“Not saying anything.”

Wooyoung grumbles. “Okay, fine!” he sits up properly and pulls on Nichkhun’s arm. “I’ll….do it.”

“I told you you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to,” Nichkhun chuckles.

“Just let me do it before I change my mind again.”

“Okay, if you insist.” He still sounds teasing, and Wooyoung feels embarrassed to say the least. He tells himself to get this over with so Nichkhun will stop teasing him too. “Then just do it.”

So Wooyoung does, quickly leaning and pressing a timid kiss at the side of Nichkhun’s mouth before pulling away again, feeling his face warming up. Nichkhun looks a little stunned, like he wasn’t expecting Wooyoung would do it but the shocked look on his face disappears as soon as it crosses his face, replacing and hiding it with his grin again.

“What was that?” Nichkhun brushes his fingers at the side of his mouth.

“Y-You told me to k-kiss you,” Wooyoung stutters and wants to hit himself for that.

“That was a kiss?” Nichkhun blurts incredulously. Wooyoung is torn between wanting to hit Nichkhun and burying himself under his blanket in shame.

“I know I’m not good, okay,” Wooyoung mumbles. “So can we stop talking about this already?” he whines.

“It wasn’t that bad. You just…need to aim properly next time.”

“What next time?!” Wooyoung widens his eyes and finally takes his pillow to hit Nichkhun with it. “There will be no next time. And stop teasing me, like you’re better at kissing than I am.”

“How do you know I’m not good at it though?” Nichkhun wiggles his eyebrows. “That wasn’t even considered a kiss, by the way.”

Wooyoung buries his face on the pillow. “I knew you were going to poke fun at me for doing it.”

“Hey now, no need to be embarrassed,” Nichkhun says, patting his hand on Wooyoung’s back. “We should do it more often. Like a platonic kind of thing, okay. Like a greeting,” he quickly adds when Wooyoung threatens to hit him with the pillow again. “Okay, okay if it makes you feel any better, I’m not good at it either.”

“You’re just saying that because I’m this close to send you out of my room.” Wooyoung lifts his head up when he hears the sound of the chair dragging on the floor.

“I have to leave anyway,” Nichkhun arranges the chair back to its place as he glances at his watch. “I have basketball practice.”

“Well then have fun.” He feels relieved but sad at the same time that Nichkhun has to leave early. He’s still kind of tired, too, though so maybe he can use that time to rest instead. Wooyoung slips inside the blanket and makes himself comfortable as he looks over at Nichkhun, realizing he’s wearing an outfit too thin and exposed to the cold weather. “You should wear something warmer.”

“Didn’t know you care about me this much.”

“Well maybe I do,” Wooyoung admits. “It’s for your sake too, alright? How are you going to stalk and follow me around if you’re sick?”

“You’re right. I will be careful next time,” Nichkhun winks at him. “Or else Wooyoungie will miss me too much if I go missing from being sick.”

Wooyoung blinks. “Did you just winked at me?” he narrows his eyes at Nichkhun. Nichkhun stares at him with innocent eyes but with a cheeky grin. “And called me Wooyoungie?”

“I think I did. Why? Do you like it?” Nichkhun’s eyes crinkle into the same cheeky grin on his face. Wooyoung looks away and faces the wall.

“I guess it’s nice. Only my brothers call me that. Maybe you can be like them too,” Wooyoung says, eyes slowly shutting close.

“You already have three brothers, you don’t need another one.”

“Huh?” Wooyoung frowns questioningly, turning around completely because of the sudden change of tone in Nichkhun’s voice. Nichkhun is sitting now, his hands pressing on the edge of the bed. He has his head hung low and gaze casts on the ground. “Khun?” Wooyoung blinks his half-lidded eyes at him. “What’s wrong?”

Nichkhun stays quiet for a very long time but he slowly shakes his head and smiles again, though it doesn’t reach his eyes at all. Wooyoung’s frown deepens, wondering if he’s managed to say something and ruin another moment. Sometimes, he really can’t tell or doesn’t even realize it at all, especially when he’s tired and sleepy like this.

“Sorry,” Nichkhun says. Wooyoung doesn’t know what he’s apologizing for but doesn’t ask him about it. “I’ll go now.”

Even though Wooyoung doesn’t want him to leave yet, he only watches as Nichkhun silently walks out of the room.

+

On the day it finally snows again, it’s the same time Wooyoung dyes his hair back to a lighter shade of brown. It also happens to be one of those movie nights with his brothers and now Wooyoung’s trying hard to avoid their curious and dazed gazes.

“Please stop staring,” Wooyoung sighs. Someone clears his throat and looks away, but Wooyoung can still feel eyes on him. “What?” Wooyoung mouths as he turns his head at Minjun.

“I thought you loved the blonde?”

“I did, but it made me look really pale,” Wooyoung explains. He reaches out for his sketch book and goes to a new page. Jinyoung has picked one of his favorite movies for that night, which they have seen countless of times before that Wooyoung actually had the plot and scripts memorized very well. Wooyoung can’t seem to pay much attention that night (maybe he’s just getting bored with the movie) so he thinks he might as well do something else to keep him awake.

“How’s the list going?” Minjun asks. The movie is actually Minjun’s favorite too but he doesn’t seem to be able to concentrate either. Or maybe he just wants to keep Wooyoung company.

“Great,” Wooyoung absentmindedly nods his head. His hand moves across the page, fingers holding on his pencil and drawing outlines of a face on the paper. “Do you think it’s okay to invite Nichkhun over for Christmas Eve’s dinner?” he asks casually as he adds details on his drawing.

“I don’t see why not,” Minjun answers. “At least mom would love to have him around. And you too, perhaps.”

“He’s a friend,” Wooyoung offers as an explanation to Minjun’s words. “Of course I’d love to have him around.”

“Is it so you can draw him better?”

Wooyoung chokes on his spit and coughs violently, whimpering lamely when the lead accidentally goes across his drawing. “Hyung!” he manages to say, pouting but letting Minjun rubs his hand on his back.

“Okay, okay I’m sorry,” Minjun laughs. Jaebeom and Jinyoung look over at them curiously.

“Did you try to hurt Wooyoungie hyung?!” Jinyoung accuses.

“Hey, this is not child’s talk. Watch your movie,” Minjun tells them. Jinyoung pouts but gets back to the movie anyway.

“What did you mean so I could draw him better? Hyung, you’re ridiculous,” Wooyoung says. Minjun offers a patient smile.

“Tell me what have you been drawing in that sketch book then?”

Wooyoung frowns and looks down at his drawing, tilting his head as he tries to make out the half-drawn face on the paper. It’s what he usually does best in; drawing portraits of people his mind projected, but as he flips to the pages, he realizes the similarities of every drawing.

“I—” Wooyoung swallows. It’s ridiculous, but he never really pays attention to his doodles and sketches, and often time it’s mostly a result of boredom when he can’t sleep at night so he doesn’t really care much of what he draws. Now, he has a clear idea of what -who- he has been drawing all this time.

“Two moles at the side of the neck,” Minjun taps his finger on the drawing. “It’s very clear who this person is. We see him a lot around here,” Minjun mentions an obvious hint. Wooyoung quickly closes the sketch book and throws it at the side table, suddenly feeling uncomfortable on the couch. “You know,” Minjun starts again carefully. “I think I can see why you like him that much.”

“I don’t,” Wooyoung quickly denies.

“He’s just plain nice and he takes care of you well,” Minjun continues anyway. “He makes you smile and makes you happy. We’re all happy if you are,” he rests his hand on Wooyoung’s shoulder. “But to be honest, Wooyoung, I know you know he has to leave someday and I don’t want you to be brokenhearted because of that, so you shouldn’t let yourself be too attached to him.”

“Hyung,” Wooyoung frowns again. He feels really bothered, over this conversation or over the thought of Nichkhun leaving one day, that he can’t decide. “Me and Nichkhun, we— we’re just friends. Nothing more.”

“I’m not saying that you can’t be more than what you are now, I’m just saying that you should draw a line to how far you can take this to. I don’t want anyone, especially you, to get hurt in the end.”

It’s slightly getting on Wooyoung’s nerves, on how Minjun is being the overprotective brother again. He knows Minjun is just worried about him, but he needs to learn to lay off a little because Wooyoung is not a kid anymore. If he needs help, he would ask for it but he mostly wants to take care of his problems on his own now. He respects and loves Minjun too much to tell him off, though, so he only stays quiet. Minjun shoots him a knowing look, noticing the sudden change of mood of his younger brother.

“I know you’re a big boy now but as I said, you’ll always be my baby brother and no one can stop me from looking out for you,” Minjun ruffles Wooyoung’s hair. Wooyoung pulls his mouth in mocked distaste but settles the cushion on Minjun’s lap so he can lay his head on it.

“So obsessed with me,” Wooyoung mutters. Minjun laughs quietly and they both get back to watching the movie, but Wooyoung’s mind quickly wanders off to somewhere else.

I wonder what Nichkhun is doing…

Wait, why am I thinking about him? Why do I even care?

…Why do I draw him for?

Ughh, what am I doing?

….What is Nichkhun doing right now?

Does he think about me too?

….Why would he, though? Wooyoung, shut up and watch the movie.