Wooyoung’s not in his best condition yet, but at the same time he’s already past the dangerous phase and now is slowly getting better. That is why when he requested to go back home, Doctor Ok agreed to him because he believes Wooyoung will be able to heal better and faster in a warmer, familiar surrounding.

The second time Junho and Chansung come to visit, he was out of the hospital only a couple of days before. Wooyoung tells them about the note from Nichkhun, and they tell him he doesn’t have to do this alone. We’ll come to distract you, they say. It won’t feel too long then. Nichkhun will be home faster than we’d expected. That makes Wooyoung smiles a little, and that’s how they start spending more time together.

As it turns out, Junho plays the piano very well too. Wooyoung asks him to teach the basic on how to play the piano, and Junho agrees. Junho lets Wooyoung borrows his keyboard for him to practice. Wooyoung is surprisingly a fast learner, so it doesn’t take him too long to get familiar with the instrument. With lots of free time, Wooyoung can practice all the time and get better day by day.

Wooyoung gets his own piano on the day of his birthday, a present from the whole family. Wooyoung didn’t even know it was his birthday, didn’t even feel suspicious when Junho and Chansung took him out to buy ice cream together even though he insisted they have a lot of them in their fridge. They came back home to a small surprise birthday party prepared by his family, and a piano waiting for him in their living room. In all honesty, Wooyoung did not remember it was his birthday that day. Days come and go so fast that Wooyoung’s lost track of the time. Even though he’d hoped Nichkhun would be around by the time of his birthday, at the same time, maybe a part of him already believed Nichkhun won’t come back so his mind willed him to forget his birthday. Well, the day came anyway but fortunately he had spent a pleasant one with his family and friends. Wooyoung feels very touched by everyone‘s effort of making him happy, but he can’t ignore the longing ache of wanting to have that particular someone by his side on his special day.

+

“Hey, where are you going?” Chansung asks when he sees Wooyoung getting up from his seat and walking out of his room.

“Bathroom. Wanna join?” Wooyoung snaps sarcastically. Chansung might have missed his tone because he’s getting up from the floor as well. Wooyoung shoots him a brief horrified look and Junho bursts out laughing.

“Leave him alone, Chan,” Junho says.

“What, why? I—”

Wooyoung takes this chance to run to the bathroom, slams the door, and makes sure to lock it. He approaches and sits on the sink countertop, staying there unmoving for a few minutes. Junho and Chansung don’t come here spending time with Wooyoung because of pity. Wooyoung knows this— they’re here because they genuinely care for him as a friend, but there are days when Wooyoung is in the mood to be alone and dwell in his thoughts— like now— and these guys just wouldn’t allow him to do so. It’s slightly irritating, how people tend to overly care about him and his condition. He knows they all mean well, but it gets suffocating at times. Wooyoung can hide his displeasure sometimes, but his medications always make him so moody that he ends up snapping at everyone. What’s even worse is that no one seems to mind his mood swings and tantrums at all. At the end of the day, Wooyoung’s the only one embarrassed of his own antics. That doesn’t mean it won’t repeat again in the next days, because it does. Even though he feels bad, he just can’t help it.

Wooyoung sighs and gets off the countertop. He opens the tap and lets the cold water run down before splashing it onto his face several times. There’s a soft knock on the door but Wooyoung ignores it. The knocks become urgent however, followed by Chansung calling his name. Annoyed, Wooyoung closes the tap and says “I’m fine. Go away! I’ll be back soon.”

“Wooyoung-ah, open this door! This is important!”

Even though reluctant, Wooyoung goes to open the door anyway. “What?” His expression falls a little seeing the look on Chansung’s face. “What?” he asks again, his tone a little softer this time.

“You’ve got a call and your phone just wouldn’t stop ringing so— so Junho picked it up and—”

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Junho’s voice gets their attention. “Tell me who that girl is?!” Wooyoung frowns and takes slow steps towards his room, his legs suddenly feel so shaky. His whole body is shaking, so he leans on the doorframe for support. “What? Rachel?!” Junho shouts incredulously. “You can’t—” Junho turns around and quiets down when he sees Wooyoung, locking his gaze with him. Wooyoung questions Junho with his gaze and only receiving a small nod in return. “I’ll pass the phone to Wooyoung now,” Junho says. Wooyoung feels his heart beats in anticipation and fear. With still shaky hand, he accepts the phone but waits for Junho and Chansung to go out first.

“We’ll be right outside if you need us,” were Junho’s final words before he closes the door to Wooyoung’s bedroom. Eventually, Wooyoung brings the phone closer and presses it onto his ear. Wooyoung tries to sync his heartbeat to the steady breathings on the other end but only grew so overwhelmed even though neither of them say anything just yet. The other person and holds in his breath, before asking “Wooyoung?”

Wooyoung closes his eyes and clenches his other hand tightly, letting his back slides down against the door. He’s waited for this day to come, waited for so long to be able to talk to Nichkhun again, to hear his voice again, to hear Nichkhun calling his name again. Now that the time is here, Wooyoung can barely find his voice to say something. “Wooyoung? Hello? It’s— It’s me.”

Of course Wooyoung knows who he is. He recognizes that voice so well. Wooyoung swallows thickly and asks anyway. “Khun?”

“H-Hey.” Nichkhun sounds relief, but worried at the same time. “Wooyoung, I—. I’m so, so, so glad you’re okay. I was so worried about you.”

“I’m not okay.” Wooyoung feels the tears coming, so he shuts his eyes tighter in hope to stop the tears from falling down. “I’m far from being okay.”

“Are you feeling sick? Is there anyone with you?” Nichkhun bombards with panic questions. “Junho and Chansung are still there with you, right? Ask them to take you to the hospital—”

“Shut up,” Wooyoung cuts in. Nichkhun abruptly stops talking. “I missed you. I missed you so much.” His voice breaks but Wooyoung’s way past caring anymore. “I thought you wouldn’t call anymore.”

“Wooyoung…”

“You’re so mean, you know that?” Wooyoung accuses, but still sounding way too understanding and forgiving than he had intended. He’s not mad at Nichkhun, no, he isn’t. He’s mad at himself for not being able to be mad at Nichkhun.

“I am so sorry. Please don’t cry,” he pleads. Wooyoung realizes he’s crying now and hearing such words from Nichkhun makes him want to cry even more.

“I’m not crying,” Wooyoung stubbornly denies.

“I’m sorry…”

Wooyoung takes a deep breath in and sighs. He doesn’t want the sadness to build up and weighs the conversation down with tension, so he tries to smile. “You missed my birthday. Now you have to buy me a present and a birthday cake,” Wooyoung laughs quietly. When Nichkhun only apologizes again, Wooyoung bites on his lower lip until he can taste the blood in his mouth. “You said you’d teach me how to play a song on the piano.”

“I’m so—”

“Stop it!” Wooyoung loses his patience and raises his voice. “Stop apologizing. It feels like— like you’re really not coming back after all. If that’s the case, then what’s the point of you leaving me all those pictures?”

“That’s half of our memories in there, Wooyoung. I’m coming back to get them,” Nichkhun says. “I’m going back to be with you.”

“Don’t lie to me. You’re not coming back.”

“Don’t say that. You know better than anyone else that I do want to come back.” Silence on Wooyoung’s side. “My dad— I should have known. I wish I wasn’t so stupid to believe them and never left at all,” Nichkhun whispers wistfully. “I’m sorry about Nichan, too. When I heard about you I—” Nichkhun’s voice starts to break too now. “I thought I was going to lose you forever. I wouldn’t know what to do if I really did…Wooyoung…? Please say something…” Nichkhun pleads again. “I’m sorry. I know it must have been hard for you. I wish I was there to go through it all with you. I wish I was there by your side—”

“Then why aren’t you?” Wooyoung interrupts. “Why aren’t you here yet? Why aren’t you with me?”

“Wooyoung-ah,” Nichkhun whimpers and Wooyoung hears him breaking down. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t be mad at me— I— I can’t do this. I can’t afford having you mad at me when we’re so far away from each other like this and I can’t even reach out to you.”

Wooyoung closes his eyes, the tears keep on trickling down his cheeks. Hearing Nichkhun crying on the other end of the line, Wooyoung suddenly feels so horrible. He knows none of this is easy for neither of them, but still, his emotions got the best of him.

“I’m sorry,” he chokes. “I’m sorry, Khunnie.”

“No, it‘s not your fault,” Wooyoung hears Nichkhun’s quick reply. Nichkhun swallows and his voice turns more clearer when he says “I’m sorry. For everything.”

“I miss you…”

“I know, Wooyoung. I know. I miss you too. I miss you a lot.”

Nichkhun tries to start conversations, but Wooyoung can’t reply properly most of the time. He knows he can’t and shouldn’t be this weak, but just for this once, maybe it’s okay to crumble down and let Nichkhun comfort him even if it only comes in the words of assurance. Wooyoung lets Nichkhun talk, finding comfort in the sound of his voice and only replying with I miss you’s and occasional mutual silences.

“I love you,” Nichkhun then says. Wooyoung feels the familiar warmth fluttering in his heart.

“And I hate you,” he replies jokingly. Nichkhun gives a shaky laugh in response. “I love you the most.”

“I know. I never doubt it.”

+

The phone calls don’t come often, but the effort is there and Wooyoung appreciates it the same. Now, Wooyoung can at least breathe a little knowing that he can talk to Nichkhun and find out his updates rather than not getting anything at all. As it turns out, after learning about what happened to Wooyoung that night, Nichan has the sense to feel wrong and guilty and told Nichkhun about Wooyoung’s condition, even letting him to finally contact Wooyoung to ask him how he’s doing after confiscating Nichkhun’s phone and restricting his behavior for months.

Apparently, Nichkhun’s father is safe and sound and healthy, the news about him getting sick and dying was just a cruel, false information to get Nichkhun to come back home. They talk about stuff, but never about Nichkhun’s engagement. Wooyoung is curious, but he thinks neither of them is ready to discuss about it yet.

Wooyoung thinks he’s just not ready to get his heart broken all over again.

+

Nichkhun’s call would usually come two days after the last one. Now that Wooyoung’s not receiving Nichkhun’s call in four days, he’s begun to feel worried that Nichkhun might go missing again and Wooyoung is honestly not ready to fall back into that phase.

He’s not moping around, nope, he’s definitely not. Wooyoung’s just worried that something bad might happened to Nichkhun. Minjun’s teasing him saying Wooyoung’s acting all sulky again, but the thing is maybe he really is. Minjun is all too cheerful and annoying when just a week ago he was the one who acted all miserable and sulky because Fei had to be away from home because of her work outside of Seoul. Now that Fei’s coming home tomorrow, Minjun’s the one poking fun at other people and actually enjoyed doing so. Tch, nothing wrong with being happy, but no need to show it off to people all the time, Wooyoung thinks to himself. In the end, Wooyoung resorted in playing his piano to get his mind off things but also in hope for the time to pass by quickly.






Wooyoung’s not sure when he dozed off and who carried him to the couch to lie down, but when he opens his eyes again, the day’s already turning a bit darker. There’s a slight headache from the nap, and the sound of voices quarrelling from somewhere in the house doesn’t help him at all. It takes a few second for that information to sink in before Wooyoung finally sits up and perks up his ears to hear more. Who is quarrelling? And most importantly, why? Did Jinyoung get into a fight with Jaebeom again? Still feeling slightly confused but worried as well, Wooyoung pulls the blanket off and gets up from the couch to go to where the source of the sound came from.

Wooyoung stops mid-way when he sees it isn’t Jinyoung and Jaebeom as they were standing quietly at the threshold to the bakery. They’re looking at something ahead of them, completely unaware of Wooyoung’s presence.

“What makes you think you have the right to be here?” Wooyoung feels his blood runs cold when he hears Minjun shouting. “Two months, Nichkhun. Two ing months. Wooyoung waited and suffered because of you! I don’t want him hurt again!”

His heart skips a beat hearing Nichkhun’s name, but even more so when he hears Nichkhun’s voice. Is he still asleep? Is this a dream? Wooyoung stumbles to the wall and this catches the twins’ attention.

“Hyung,” Jinyoung quickly rushes to Wooyoung and helps him.

“I know. I know I was wrong. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Please, let me see him. Please.” Is that really Nichkhun? Is he really here? But how? This must be a dream…

“No! Get out of here!”

“Minjun, babe. Please, let him see Wooyoung. You know Wooyoung wants to see him too. He’s really sick. Just let him see Nichkhun again.”

Wooyoung’s finally standing at the threshold with his little brothers, getting a clearer view of what’s going on in the bakery. His eyes quickly find Nichkhun’s figure. Nichkhun looks so much thinner now, his hair so much shorter and in a much darker shade. But he’s still Nichkhun— the same Nichkhun he misses so much.

“No. His brother almost killed Wooyoung. I don’t want any of them near Wooyoung anymore!”

Nichkhun looks shocked, guilty and hurt all at the same time. His nose and eyes turn red from crying and Wooyoung’s heart aches just at the sight of Nichkhun in pain.

“Stop it, hyung…” Wooyoung finally voices out. All three heads jerked to his direction in surprise.

“W-Wooyoung…” Nichkhun swallows thickly, a longing in his eyes and in the way his fists were clenched on his sides. Wooyoung looks at Minjun briefly, pleading for him to calm down and asking permission to get nearer to Nichkhun, and saying that it’s okay, Nichkhun won’t hurt me. Wooyoung tries to smile as he approaches Nichkhun slowly, refusing to break eye contact, in fear the moment will shatter and he’s cruelly forced to wake up from his dream.

“Khun…Is that really you?” Wooyoung blinks and feels tears trailing down his cheek. He reaches for Nichkhun with his arms spread open and Nichkhun immediately catches him into his embrace.

“Wooyoung…” Nichkhun cries and buries his face on Wooyoung’s shoulder.

“Khun. You’re back. You’re really back…” Wooyoung smiles almost in disbelief. Being so close to Nichkhun like this, feeling his warmth and smelling his scent— Wooyoung knows this is not a dream and he’s completely glad it isn’t. Feeling Nichkhun shaking in his arms, Wooyoung tightens his hug.

“Yes, Wooyoung, it’s me. I’m back. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry. I’m sorry,” Nichkhun says. Wooyoung lets out a watery chuckle, not even caring they’re not alone in there anymore. Nichkhun is finally here again and that is what matters the most to him.

“Idiot. Who’s crying. You’re the one crying,” Wooyoung lightly teased but turns shaky again and ends up crying with Nichkhun. He holds Nichkhun tightly, not wanting to let go and Nichkhun’s hold on him is just as strong even when they lose their bearings and fall on the floor against the counter. This time around, Wooyoung is going to make sure neither of them can slip away from each other anymore.