NOTE: Chapter 8 is the original ending of the fanfic, but I'll make alternate one for those who doesn't like sad endings. If you don't mind the sad engings it's OK to not read the following chapter (9).

I went out from CBI's building. I looked at the way that leaded home, but now he seemed so strange, so unknown. I didn't wanted to go home. I didn't wanted to go home, because there I was going to meet the man who I really love. I was afraid that I was going to be the one to lock him up and bring him to the court. What should I do? Why is this happening to me?
"Ah!" I moaned. My feet were in blisters from the stupid shoes that I wear. " it!" I yelled, took of the shoes and threw them far away. Then I slid down to the ground and rested my head on my knees. "Daddy, what should I do?" I looked at the sky, as if the stars were going to tell me the answers I needed to know. Suddenly I remembered the words that I said, when I became FBI agent - "I swear to do everything that I can to catch the criminals. I swear that I'll give everything possible to help to administer justice! Because of you, daddy..."
I stood up from the ground and started walking toward home.

"Hey!" Tao smiled to me. "But where are your shoes?" he was really surprised.
"I threw them somewhere..." I replied and went to the bedroom. I lay down on the bed and closed my eyes. I wanted to fall asleep, because I didn't wanted to talk with Tao. I was sure that he was going to start to suspect something if I talked. It's better to fall asleep now and to put him in cuffs later, after midnight.

After a while Tao entered the room. I was faking that I was sleeping and that's why he was moving around really quietly. I felt that he squatted near the bed and put sticking plasters on the places where I had blisters. Then he kissed all the places where he put the sticking plasters. "Why are you doing everything so difficult for me?" I asked in my mind.

My heart was going to explode. I started thinking if Tao is the Shaolin Killer then he can fight too damn well. But I could too! Then I prayed everything to end fast. I checked my phone. "Three o'clock..." I said quietly. Tao had his hand over me which made my movements more difficult. I looked at him to be sure that he was sleeping and then I reached for my gun and the handcuffs. In that moment my phone rang and I stood up fast.
"Hello?"
"Charlene are you OK? Get out from the apartment quickly! Tao is the Shaolin Killer!"
"I know Ji A..." I looked back. Tao was standing up, next to the bed and he was watching me with a shadow of a smile on his face.
"You're clever!" he said. "When did you find out?"
I had gun under my bad and I tried to take it but there was nothing there.
"Are you looking for this?" Tao waved the weapon in the air. "You wanted to kill me? With this? I had never liked guns!"
I didn't knew what to say to him. I was tensed and I didn't knew what to expect to happen. "Hold on, Charlene!" I said to myself.
"Are you scared? Don't worry! I wont use weapon to kill you!" Tao threw the gun aside, jumped over the bed and attacked me. We started to fight. I didn't had the intention to give up, I had to do everything I could! Because of dad! Because of me! Because of the man that I love deeply turned out to be serial killer.
"Charlene?" I heard Ji A's voice on the phone, which was lying on the ground. Great! I had forgotten to hang up!
"Call for back up at my apartment! Hurry!" I yelled, so that way she could hear me.
"Do you really think that they will catch me?" with one jump Tao was on the other side of the room where the phone was and he broke it.
"Why are you doing this? Why do you hurt people? Why do you kill them?" I was standing in a position ready to fight. I felt my eyes filling with tears. I shuldn't cry now! Not now!
"You don't know what the feeling is to be neglected child! I was alone! My ing parents left me in a dirty quarter. On a dirty, dangerous, damped street. You don't have any idea! You've always had your parents being there for you..." Tao was hurting. He didn't wanted to talk about his difficult childhood, because it was bringing to him to much bad memories. "But me? I had nobody! I was wandering all alone on the streets. Rarely someone was giving me food and shelter. I wonder how am I even alive?! ...And now...People still dump their children, even though they can bring them up..."
"Is that why you are doing all this? Tao, you can't change the world! All this is not happening only in China, but in the whole world! Are you going to everyone who leaves their children? In that case 1/3 part from the world will be dead. This is not your decision! You can't forbid to people to stop doing something. I know, it's terrible to leave your kid, but ... "
"You don't understand!" yelled Tao and attacked me again. Everything happened so quickly that we ended up on the ground one over the other. "You don't understand! I thought that you were going to understand!"
"That what you're doing is not right!"
"Shut up!" he yelled and started to strangle me.
I started to cough. His clamp around my neck was really tight. My face turned red, and I tried to take some air, but it was really hard to do that. With my last force I reached under the night-table for my pocket-knife. I closed my eyes and I stabbed Tao.
He fell on the ground. It was too hard to look him all in blood. "Tao!" I yelled, as if that way I could save him.
"Good job!" he said. "You killed the Sh-shaolin K-killer..." Tao slowly touched my face. "I lov-ve you..." then his hand hit the ground.
"Tao!" I yelled again and hugged his dead body. I was all covered in blood from Tao's wound, but I didn't cared. The man that I love, turned out to be a serial killer and I just killed him. How was I going to live with this thought in my mind? Why did this happened to me? "Tao..."

The back-up came, but it was late. I thought that if they had come earlier Tao wasn't going to be dead. I thought that if I haven't agreed to come in China all of this wouldn't happen. Only if I stayed in America I wouldn't be lying over my dead beloved one. Life is so cruel!
"Charlene!" yelled Wu Fan and pulled me away from the dead body. Then he gave me a hug. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry that we're late! I'm sorry that you had to go through all this!"
"I killed him!" I started to cry loudly. "I killed Tao!" my tears were dropping one after another, as if they were endless. They were making my clothes wet, they were making Wu Fan's clothes wet...
"Come on..." he said and took me out of the apartment.
"Charlene!" Ji A hugged me. "Are you okay? You're not wounded, right?"
"No. At least not physically..." replied Wu Fan instead of me. "I'll take her in the office."

"Want some coffee?" Wu Fan handed me a glass with hot coffee. The tears had already stopped. But the pain - not! Damn it! It hurts so badly! So badly, that I wanted it to stop...

"Dear diary,
I feel terrible! Nothing can calm me. I can't stop crying when I'm alone, but still I don't want to be among people.
Today is Tao's funeral and Wu Fan is going to accompany me.
I don't want to go, but I want to see Tao for one last time.
I loved him! I still love him! I want to be with him...
My heart hurts because I was the one who killed him. It hurts from the fact, that Tao's dead...
I just wish to..."

"Charlene?" Wu Fan entered my apartment.
"I'm here!" I said from the living-room and closed my diary.
"Are you ready?"
No, I'm not! Nobody is ready to bury the person who he loves the most. Nobody is ready to say one last "Goodbye" to the love of his life. Everybody wants to be forever together with the person who they love! To travel together toward the infinity. I want that too...I want to be with Tao! I don't care that he was murderer. I want to be with him! I love him, damn it! I love him!
"Charlene?" Wu Fan bent down near me.
"I'm coming!" I said and stood up.

The cemetery seemed to be dark and scary. All people, whose photos were there on the graves..It's like they were watching me...They felt sorry for me, and they laughed at me. I couldn't continue, but I had to!
There was almost nobody. Near Tao's grave all was lonely and deserted.
There was only me, Wu Fan, the lawyer - Kang Ji Hwan, the priest, and two men.
The scenery was extremely pathetic and sad.
The priest was saying his words to the Lord, but nobody listened to him. At least me...I was watching Tao's pale body, which was lying in the coffin. He seemed really calm, in peace with the world. I tried to hold on my tears, but the started to fall down. Wu Fan put his hand on my shoulder, he wanted me to calm down. His days since my arrival were not easy too. He liked me and I was crying for somebody else. Well, life is extremely unfair.

"Charlene, are you listening to me?" Wu Fan stopped me, before we entered the office. "You should visit the psychologist! You know that every agent is supposed to visit the psychologist after a gunfight."
"I'm fine!" I smiled.
"Think over my offer, okay? You know, that I wont be the only one to tell you that you should visit the psychologist..."
It's been two weeks since Tao's death. Since his murder...
I couldn't get rid of the thought of him. The memory that was always barging in my mind and like a hurricane it was destroying my peace. Even hitting the boxing bag didn't helped. And before it was helping me to throw out all of my anger.
"Aah!" I screamed, took a knife and tore a part the boxing bag. I sat on the ground and started crying again.
My phone rang. It was Yi Xing. "What does he wants?!" I rolled my eyes. "Yeah?!"
"Wu Fan said to go and interrogate the co-workers of the new victim - Chin Ai Ling."
"I'm going!" I said and hung up the phone.

I haven't used my car from so long time. My beauty - grey Chrysler 412. I adored cars! But that doesn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore, after I killed Tao. It's all my fault! I'm terrible! ... I started to cry again. "I don't have time for this!" I said and wiped my tears from my face, although new ones were coming. I started the car and went to interrogate the co-workers of that Ai Ling girl or whoever she was...
The feeling of driving car is awesome! The high speed, the wind, going in from the half-opened windows. "Why do I need to go to the place where Chin Ai Ling worked? I don't care about her!" I made a turn with the car and directed to the highway. The speed was 180 km/h. It was amazing! I started to laugh, then I started to cry. Everything was too much for me! I can't take it anymore! "Don't do it!" I heard Tao's voice in my head. But he was only in my head, it wasn't real. In this case, I shouldn't listen to it! I pushed the pedal and turned sharply the wheel. The last thing I saw was one giant tree. The last thing I heard ware the sirens of an ambulance. It's OK! There's no use of it! I was longtime dead. I was with Tao...

NOTE: Chapter 8 is the original ending of the fanfic, but I'll make alternate one for those who doesn't like sad endings. If you don't mind the sad engings it's OK to not read the following chapter (9).