Ok rewritten chapter! For everyone that read the last chapter 8 scroll down until you see purple ***** and start there since the chapter is the same until that part. For those that didn't well read the whole chapter, duh

After leaving the mall with Taemin, I went home and couldn’t stop thinking about what Taemin had said. Being alone didn’t help my negative thoughts either, since Soohyun and Inguk hyung were still out on their date when I got back. All I kept wondering was if Jonghyun was actually embarrassed to be with me and that lead me to thinking that he only talked to me out of pity. As his “good act” for humanity. Was I really just a charity case to him? Was I really just someone that he thought looked so pathetic that he needed to be nice to? Would he like me better if I could hear? If I were normal?

            Before I knew it I was looking up how much the cochlear implants cost and the prices had definitely gone up since the last time I looked into them. It costs fifteen thousand American dollars for one and once I converted that to won I realized I would not be able to afford that anytime soon. At least not while I’m in high school. I was seriously starting to wonder how Taemin’s parents were able to buy him two. I continued searching for alternative procedures that may help me get my hearing back but over and over I kept being brought back to the implants. While I was looking stuff up on the internet my phone vibrated next to my leg. I quickly searched for it under my comforter and soon saw that I had a text from Jonghyun. Punching in my phones passcode, I soon saw his message and reading it had me thinking that what Taemin said was indeed true.

From Jonghyun:

            Hey Kibum, I’m sorry about leaving you so suddenly. I had to go home and do some things, but we can hang out again tomorrow, after school if you want.

            He told me he had band practice but now he’s telling me he had to go home to do something. Does that mean that he indeed left me because he was embarrassed of me? I thought to myself before typing my response back.

To Jonghyun:

            I thought you had band practice.

            I typed out before quickly pressing the send button to wait and see what his response would be. I was hurt that he was embarrassed by me but I was also upset that he would lie to me and I wanted to see just how far he was going to take this.

From Jonghyun:

            Yea, it was more of a meeting than practice. So the guys all came to my house and we talked real quick.

To Jonghyun:

            Ok.

            That was all I typed out before putting my phone away no longer feeling like talking to him. I knew he was lying and it made me upset. I decided that I would simply confront him when we meet tomorrow.

            Maybe it would be best just to end this friendship if I’m just going to be a burden to him.

            When Monday morning came I was in even less of a mood to go to school than I normally was. I think my cousin could tell too just by how slow I was moving, since I was stalling as much as I could to not go to school, without causing myself to be late at the same time. Which ended up with me walking into class about thirty seconds before the lesson started.

            Throughout the day I immersed myself in my lessons and paid complete attention to the teachers just so I wouldn’t have to think about Jonghyun. I don’t think I’ve ever paid that much attention in class in my whole entire life. At least now I know my grades should be going up, not like they were bad or anything, but I would definitely be getting an A on my next set of quizzes. Soon enough the end of the day came rolling around and Taemin and I were leaving school together. As we were walking to the front gate I turned to Taemin and asked him if he would just head straight home today instead of hanging out with Jonghyun and I.

            “Why hyung? Plus I’m going to Jonghyun hyung’s band practice later tonight with him anyway,” he said confused as to why I didn’t want him to come with me. Which I could understand since him sitting at the bus stop with Jonghyun and I had become the norm for him.

            “I just want to talk to him about some stuff and if you’re going to his band practice you’ll just see him later anyway right?”

            “Yea, I guess that’s true. Well ok. I’ll see you later hyung,” Taemin signed as he headed in the opposite direction to head home, while I continued my walk to the bus stop to meet Jonghyun.

            When I got there Jonghyun greeted me with a smile and I gave him a small smile back before sitting down next to him, pulling out my notebook, and showing him the pre-written not that I had written down during lunch. It simply asked if he was embarrassed of me. He read the message before looking at me with a confused look on his face and writing his on message down.

‘Of course not. Why would you think so?’

            ‘Because you left the mall early on Sunday and lied about the band practice.’ As he read my most recent note I could see the guilty look on his face and his bus was coming up too. It was early today, but I figured he would just wait for the next one anyway. I figured wrong because he stood up and gathered his things to get on the bus.

            I should’ve known that he would just try and avoid the subject and me. So I put my notebook back in my bag as I continued sitting to wait for my cousin. What I didn’t expect was for Jonghyun to take my hand and lead me onto the bus. I was confused and tried to pull my wrist out of his hand.

            “Stop” I even voiced out, even though I knew I risked the chance for someone to make fun of the way I spoke like his younger brother did. He continued pulling on me though until he sat us both down, took my bag, pulled my notebook out, and wrote something down.

            ‘We’re going to my house. I want to continue talking to you there ok? So just text your cousin to let him know’ he wrote and I couldn’t believe that he took it upon himself to just drag me to his house. Even though I secretly wanted to see his home but I was still mad at him and didn’t want to forgive him until I got an explanation to why he acted the way he did yesterday.

            Soon enough he was leading me off the bus and walking us to his house. The neighborhood we were in had such nice big houses and I soon started to realize that Jonghyun or at least his family had money. He didn’t really dress like it or come off as a snob so I never thought that he would be really well off. When we got to his home, I knew for sure that his family was loaded. It was a three story home and it’s the first time I’ve ever seen a house so big in Korea and not in the movies. As we entered the house I started feeling self-conscious about the apartment I lived in with my cousin. Even though it was nice it was nothing like this.

            What if he’s been judging me since he came to our apartment? Does he really see me as a charity case now? Some poor deaf kid that he’s helping out in the world? I thought to myself as we walked into his house. As soon as we entered the house we took off our shoes and walked into the living room. I immediately noticed his brother sitting on the couch with his friends and bowed slightly to them as my way of saying hi. His brother opened his mouth to say something while gesturing to me but I missed most of it so I asked him to repeat it slowly. Yet Jonghyun took my arm to pull me away. I looked at him confused but Jonghyun pulled me up the steps to his room and closed the door behind us.

            I took my phone out of my pocket to type a quick message since I was too lazy to pull my notebook out at the moment and asked him why he pulled me away from Minseok when he was about to say something.

            ‘Because he wasn’t going to say anything good,’ he typed back and it took me a minute to realize he must’ve insulted me before.

            ‘Why don’t you tell him to stop then? I mean he should be taught better manners,’ I typed as I tried to hide that I was hurt that his brother always felt the need to say mean things about me.

            ‘Let’s just drop it ok.’

            ‘Why won’t you just admit that you’re embarrassed of me?!’ I typed out quickly and decided to send it as a text message so we would stop passing my phone back and forth. He looked at his phone and shook his head before replying.

            ‘I’m not embarrassed of you ok!’

            ‘Then why do we only hang out alone or at the bus stop. Why nowhere else?! The one time we went out together you lied to me and told me you had band practice so you could leave early! If that’s not being embarrassed then I don’t know what is!’ I typed out my long message before sending it to him.

            ‘I just wanted to protect you ok! I wanted to protect you from the mean that they were saying about you!’

            Protect me? Why would he protect me? I could handle myself, well for the most part.

            ‘Why would you want to protect me? I can protect myself. I mean I am a man.’

            ‘I don’t know, I just felt like I needed to. I mean I’m your friend and I couldn’t stand hearing Minseok say mean about you while we were at your house. Then when we got to the mall and he met up with his friends it got even worse. So I made up my band practice so I could leave and take him home.’

            I read his message over and over and I was still confused about one thing.

            ‘Why didn’t you just tell me the truth then? Why didn’t you just tell me the truth instead of lying? You could have scolded him instead of just leaving,’ I typed out still confused as to why he chose to lie to me.

        ****‘It wouldn’t have worked and I thought it would be best to simply remove them from being around you instead of letting them continue to make fun of you.’

            ‘Are you sure you weren’t just nervous they would make fun of you for hanging out with me?’ I replied still not letting go of the idea that he was embarrassed of me and didn’t want me to embarrass him any further.

            ‘No. I swear that wasn’t the reason Kibum.’

            ‘Why won’t you ever take me to your band rehearsals then?’ I asked.

            ‘Well…do you want to come? I figured it would be rude or insensitive to you to bring you to my band rehearsal since you wouldn’t be able to hear anything.’

            I thought about it and thought what could I really do at his band rehearsal besides sit there and not hear anything. I knew that it would be useless to go but I would at least like to be invited to the rehearsal or the show.

            ‘How about you just invite me to your next show?’

            ‘Ok, I’ll do that.’ Jonghyun responded quickly to my message and I didn’t think it would be that easy. I then felt my phone vibrate and looked down to see a message from Soohyun asking where I was. .

            ‘Jonghyun, I have to go now. My cousin is looking for me.’ I sent and then I realized I had no clue where I was and kind of needed that information for my cousin to come and get me.

            ‘Uh, Jonghyun what is your address so Soohyun can find me?’

            ‘I can just drive you Kibum.’ After reading Jonghyun’s most recent text I looked at him wide before texting him back.

            ‘You can drive?’

            ‘Yea.’

            ‘And you have your own car?’

            ‘Yea. What else would I drive you in?’ I read his text before shrugging my shoulders.

            ‘Ok, I’ll just let hyung know that you’re bringing me home.’ I typed out to Jonghyun before quickly typing a message to my cousin. I knew he wasn’t happy and I knew that he would kill me when I got home but for now I was choosing not to think about it.

            “Alright, let’s go.” Jonghyun spoke slowly to me so I could read his lips before taking my hand and leading me out the room. He intertwined our fingers as he lead me down the steps and out to the garage where his car was parked. I wanted to protest the way that he was holding my hand but I decided against it and let him continue leading me as I felt my cheeks heat up slightly. When we got to his car, my eyes widened again because it was so nice! I let go of his hand and lightly touched it before looking inside of it.

            It was a sleek, black, two door car and it looked like it was still brand new too. Soon I felt Jonghyun coming up behind me and I quickly turned around to face him only for our bodies to be extremely close. He lifted up his car keys and pressed a button, I assume to unlock the doors.

            “How about we get in the car? Then you can admire it from the inside,” he spoke slowly and I shyly nodded my head as I thought about how silly I must’ve looked ogling him his car. Jonghyun opened the car door for me and I wanted to tell him to stop treating me like a girl but as I was about to sign it out, I remembered he didn’t understand sign language. So I sighed and got in the car.

            The ride to my house was done in silence, which was no surprise since my whole life is done in silence, but I wasn’t able to talk to Jonghyun while he was driving because he couldn’t text and drive and obviously we couldn’t pass a notebook back and forth while he was driving either. So we didn’t say one word to each other until he pulled up to my apartment building. Once he cut off the engine he turned to face me and handed me a piece of paper. It had a date and a location on it and not only was I confused about what these words meant, I was also wondering when he had the chance to write it down so quick.

            ‘What is this?’ I asked after I dug my phone out of my pocket to text him.

            ‘You wanted to come to one of our shows, well there you go. We have a show coming up this Friday at 8. So you should come.’

            ‘It’s at a club? Will I be able to get in?’ I asked after re-reading the note.

            ‘Yea, I’ll just put your name on the list as one of our guests and then you’ll get let in. One of my members parents own the club, so they let us play there sometimes.’

            ‘Ah ok. Thanks. I’ll have to ask my cousin but I’m going to try and come,’ I typed out and sent to him before giving him a smile.

            ‘I can come pick you up to take you too if you need me to. Just let me know.’

            ‘I will.’ I then reached for the door handle to get out but felt Jonghyun grab my arm and I turned to him confused, wondering if he had something else to say. Instead he slowly started to move closer to me. I backed away from him in the cramped car as my heart beat sped up but he continued to move closer.

            What’s going on? What is he going to do? I thought to myself as he got even closer to the point that I could feel his breath on my lips. He’s…he’s not going to kiss me is he? Just the thought of him kissing me had my face heating up and my heart beating so hard that I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I then closed my eyes waiting for it to happen. I felt his fingers slowly thread their way into my hair and soon I felt nothing. I slowly opened my eyes and saw Jonghyun smiling at me.

            “There was something in your hair,” he mouthed as he held up a feather in his hand and I immediately felt stupid. I just nodded my head in thanks, before quickly leaving his car, face heating up even more and rushing up to my apartment.

            When I got inside I leant my back against the front door to try and catch my breath and Soohyun hyung came out to greet me. Or should I say scold me instead.

            “Kibum where have you been?! Do you know how worried I was when I went to pick you up and you weren’t there?! You can’t just go running off without letting people know where you’re going,” Soohyun stopped angrily signing at me for a second to look me over and then asked “Why is your face so red Kibum? Did something happen?”

            “No. Nothing happened at all!” I signed quickly before rushing past him to my room and closing the door before placing my hand over my widely beating chest.

            W-What was that? Why did I think about Jonghyun kissing me? Did…did I want him to kiss me? I thought to myself as I placed my hand in my hair where Jonghyun touched me.

            No. No, that’s stupid. Why would I want him to kiss me? I’ve probably just been hanging around Soohyun and Inguk hyung too much. Yea…that must be it. Jonghyun and I are just friends. Nothing more. He would never think about kissing me or doing anything like that. And I don’t want to kiss him either…right?

            I let out a harsh sigh before flopping onto my bed. My thoughts were all over the place and I was completely confused by my emotions. I didn’t know if I was hoping Jonghyun would kiss me or not but somewhere deep within my mind I was hoping the situation would arise again so that maybe, maybe I could…kiss him?

Ok rewritten chapter and it's a lot better than the last one! I hope you all enjoyed this and I'm sorry it took so long to get this to you! Anyway until next time!

~Lolo