I check my phone for what feels like to be the 20^th time today to see nothing. No texts or anything from Jonghyun. It’s currently Sunday afternoon and after what happened on Friday between Jonghyun and I in his car, I would’ve thought that he would’ve tried to contact me by this point, yet nothing. Maybe he really is upset with me over what happened. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed him away. I mean he did say that he liked me, maybe I hurt his feelings or he feels like I rejected him by pushing him away.

            I let out a soft sigh as I lay back down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to come up with different reasons why Jonghyun hasn’t contacted me yet, but to tell the truth, I also haven’t tried to contact him as well. Maybe he thinks I’m mad at him. Maybe he’s waiting for me to make the first move.

            I look to my phone and slowly reach for it, swiping in the password to unlock it. As I stare at the home screen I can’t decide if I should message him or not. What if he really doesn’t want to talk to me? Or maybe he’s just busy and he’ll be annoyed seeing a message from me.

            You have to do it Kibum. Just quickly send him a hi and turn off your phone. Just do it.

            After giving myself a short pep-talk, I quickly send Jonghyun a message that consists of nothing but “hey” and then lock my phone again as I toss it to the side. I didn’t want to see if he’d respond since I made the first move, but more importantly, I didn’t want to see him not respond. As I was lying in my bed, dreading the fact that I sent Jonghyun a message, my door opened and soon I saw my cousin Soohyun standing there.

            “Kibum, you have some friends here,” Soohyun signed out to me and I looked at him confused, because not only was it about 5pm on a school night, but I didn’t invite anyone over. That was until I realized he said “friends” as in more than one as in, I only have two friends so that meant Jonghyun was here!

            I quickly jump out of bed, run to my mirror to fix my hair and make myself look as attractive as possible. I even smell my shirt to make sure it didn’t smell funky from me laying in it all day. Don’t misunderstand, I did bathe today, but that doesn’t mean it can’t get a little funky. In the end I decide to just quickly change into another t-shirt and put on a pair of jeans instead of letting him see me in sweats. Once I’m done, I feel like I look cute, but not like I am trying too hard to look cute just for him, which is what I’m going for.

            As I leave my room, I start becoming slightly nervous. I don’t know what I am going to say to him or how I’m going to react when I see him. I had spent so much time on my looks instead of thinking about what I wanted to tell him.

What if he just came over to say that he didn’t want to be friends with me anymore? I stop in my tracks as the thought runs across my mind. I don’t want to stop being friends with him. I don’t want to go out there if it meant he is just going to break off whatever we may have had. I shake the thoughts from my head and take a deep breath, deciding it is now or never.

As I walk into the living room I see Taemin first since he is the one that ran towards me and hugs me like he hasn’t seen me in forever, when in reality it’s only been a few days. After I am able to pull him off of me I look to the couch and my smile falters. Instead of seeing Jonghyun, I see Woohyun.

“Hey Kibum. I hope you don’t mind me tagging along with Taemin today,” Woohyun signs out causing Taemin to laugh.

“Tag along? Hyung he begged me to bring him over,” Taemin signs and Woohyun hits him lightly on the shoulder in response.

I look from Taemin to Woohyun confused. Why would Woohyun want to come and see me so bad and why isn’t Jonghyun here?

“Oh…did you guys come from band practice?” I ask and Taemin nods his head excitedly before going off on how they practiced new songs today so he was able to try out some new moves. I pay attention to him going on and on until he is done and once he got it all out of his system I turn my attention back to Woohyun.

“So why did you want to come today and why didn’t Jonghyun come too?” I ask, deciding that it would be best if I just ask the most burning questions on my mind.

“I just wanted to see you again. I mean we got along so well Friday night so I don’t know, I guess I wanted to hang out with you again. I’m glad I forced Taemin to bring me too, since you look really nice today,” Woohyun signs out as he looks over my outfit choice. I start feeling slightly self-conscious with the way he is staring at me. I didn’t wear this outfit for him, I wore it for Jonghyun, but I guess he really didn’t want to see me.

“But what about Jonghyun?” I ask again.

“Ooh, hyung do you have a crush on Jonghyun? Why do you keep asking about him?” Taemin jumps back into the conversation.

“Huh? No, I don’t. I was just wondering since you usually come over with Jonghyun and considering the fact that you and Woohyun came, it would make sense for Jonghyun to tag along too…” I sign trying to backtrack and not give myself away too much.

“Oh, well Jonghyun hyung was asking about you today, but I think he was busy and that’s why he didn’t come with us,” Taemin signs and I look at him surprised.

“He asked about me?”

“Yea, nothing crazy, just asking how you were and if either of us had spoken to you since Friday. Why? Did something happen on Friday?” Taemin asks and now I can feel both Taemin and Woohyun’s eyes on me, waiting for my response.

“Uh…well. We sort of…” I’m not sure if I should tell them. Would they think less of me for kissing someone like that, that I wasn’t even dating?

“You guys did what?! Just spit it out already?!” Taemin signs excitedly and I decide I might as well let them know.

“He uh…told me he liked me and then we sort of…kissed,” I sign out and Taemin’s excitement faltered.

“That’s it? You just kissed?” Taemin signs out and Woohyun gently nudges him in the side.

“I mean, we kissed for a while and I think he wanted to do more but…”

“But what?” Taemin asks.

“I wasn’t ready. He started touching me and…I just wasn’t comfortable alright. It doesn’t matter anymore since now he probably hates me,” I sign and soon I feel an arm around my shoulder.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s probably just moved onto some new target of his,” Woohyun signs out with one hand before removing his arm to finish what he is saying.

“Jonghyun, he’s my friend, but I won’t lie to you and say he isn’t a player. His longest relationship that I’ve known of has been a month. So my advice, don’t get too attached. He’ll probably contact you soon, but just remember he has other people he’s talking to as well,” Woohyun finishes.

I don’t know what to think. I had given my first kiss to a guy that probably doesn’t even care about me. That only wants to get in my pants and move on, but even after knowing this, I still want to see him and talk to him. I even still want to kiss him some more.

“Don’t worry Woohyun, I think I’ll be fine. Thanks for the advice though.”

“No problem, plus, you still have me,” Woohyun says before wrapping his arm around my shoulder again.

“And me!” Taemin signs out before coming over and joining in on the half hug.

I guess even if I don’t have Jonghyun, I still have these two friends by my side which is better than nothing. At least that was what I thought until Monday came and I got to see Jonghyun again at the bus stop. We didn’t even plan it, it just happened. Routine I guess.

‘How have you been?’ Jonghyun’s first note that he passes me says.

‘Fine, and you?’

‘Busy. Sorry about this weekend, I saw your text on Sunday but I was so busy that I forgot to reply. Anyway, I missed you.’ I read his note and soon feel his hand on my face. He turns my face to his and leans in to kiss me causing me to turn my head away.

"What’s wrong?" he mouths out and I simply shake my head before quickly jotting down,

‘We’re in public.’

‘So?’

‘So, I don’t want other people to see us,’ I scribble out again. I see him let out a sigh as he backs away from me and settles back down onto the bench. I can tell that he looks annoyed so I decide to write another note to get us talking again.

‘So Woohyun and Taemin stopped by yesterday, why didn’t you come with them?’ I write down before passing the paper to him.

‘Woohyun came? Why? What did you guys do?’ he writes back.

‘Nothing, he, Taemin and I just talked, but again, why didn’t you come,’ I respond.

‘I was busy remember? I ended up being stuck with my brother all weekend, basically driving him around wherever he wanted to go…he really is the golden child,’ he writes and I read it before letting out a low hum, which vibrates in the back of my throat.

‘So…did you miss me?’ Jonghyun then writes when he sees that I’m not responding to his last note.

‘….A little, I guess.’

‘Only a little? Well I missed you a lot. We should spend some time together this week…alone that is.’

‘I don’t know. I mean there’s school and homework and stuff…plus Soohyun wouldn’t let me stay out late on a school night,’ I write out. I’m not purposely trying to come up with excuses but at the same time I’m trying to keep what Woohyun said in mind. I don’t want to fall too deep for a guy that has plenty of other people on his list.

‘No problem, I can just come over to your house for dinner one night and then we can watch a movie in your room. Hopefully this time you won’t fall asleep though,’ Jonghyun writes out and I can see him chuckle a little before passing me the note. When I read it, I hit him lightly for making fun of me for falling asleep the first time we watched a movie together.

‘So what do you say?’

‘Hmm…I’ll ask my cousin and let you know’ I respond and just then his bus came pulling up to the stop and he gathered his things to go. I watch as he gets ready to leave and a small part of me wants to go with him. I am jogged out of my thoughts when I feel something soft against my cheek to only realize it was Jonghyun’s lips.

“See you later Kibum,” he says slowly for me before rushing to catch the bus. Leaving me sitting on the bench holding my cheek stunned and falling harder and faster for Jonghyun than I would have ever imagine. 

I've gotten new subscribers recently and you guys are so kind. I don't know where you've found this story, but thank you for the comments. Its not dropped, again I'm just a lazy updater, but your comments made me decide to do my best to update this for you guys. So I hope you enjoyed this chapter even if it was short. I have a new direction for the story, so hopefully I can give another update before the end of the weekend.

~Lolo