Mistake

It’s strange. How come I could not move? Have I died? It’s so heavy… I think I should open my eyes.

Hands over my chest. Smooth skin. White flawless hands. Cute little fingers. Neatly cut nails. Whose hands are these?

Slender, silky white arms. Small, frail shoulders. Milky white neck. Graceful jawlines. Apple-red, moist lips. Petite, elegant, nose. Big eyes, apparent through its lids. Thick, black eyebrows. A face I familiar of.

Sudden realization strikes me hard; it is my superior’s face. It is D.O.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Literally I jumped out of my bed, falling off to the wooden floor of my bedroom with a big thud and a small ‘oomph’. He moved, and stretched his self with a cute, little groan that makes my heart fell all over him once again.

“What are you screaming at, Chanyeol-ah?” D.O said as he rubs his eyes. My oversized black sweater reveals one of his shoulders and I mentally cursed myself for getting excited over it.

“Wh-what are you doing in my room?!” Unknowingly I stuttered to see the utmost captivating view of my superior; which I’m sure will make each of the Life Department occupants drooling all over D.O.

“What are you talking about, Chanyeol? I’m having an early shift, right?” D.O yawned cutely that I want to squeal over him right now, yet I don’t. Instead, I mentally note myself to be more careful as to my words, as well as my actions.

“Ah, I forgot…” Those memory flows back to my mind once again as realization struck my head really hard. Last night, D.O came to my house and said that he will need to borrow my place to stay. That’s it. My heart beating rapidly right at the moment he looked at me with those big eyes, as if pleading to stay over at my place.

The worse part is, he didn’t bring over any of his belongings beside his self and his working clothes. And so, that’s how my sweater ended up in his possession… Enough of this, I’m getting warmer just to the thought of it.

“…I will make a breakfast for us” I went out of my bed just to wear my slippers, right before putting on my cloak. Hearing no response, I turn my head back despites my heating face and my rapidly beating heart. There I saw D.O hugging his knees and leaning his head on his hands; gosh I might not be able to handle this anymore… Well, you see, I don’t have any fitting pants for him so I lent him my boxer instead… and it was way too revealing for me!

The smooth calves, silky white thigh… “Thanks, Chanyeol” And that smile. That damn, ing beautiful smile. ! I cursed as I avert my gaze, mentally slapping myself hard for that sinful thinking. I’m at my edge, okay.

So, I went out of the bedroom without further delaying. I would not want to bleed my nose over D.O, would I? I went down the stairs just to reach my not-so-tidy kitchen, getting a loaf of bread out of the cupboard, ready to be added into the toaster. And I couldn’t help but let those memories came back to me once again; those memories when I confessed to him.

“Then you’re mistaken” I really don’t get that sentence. What was that supposed to mean? I, Park Chanyeol, in my whole life would never been mistaken for my own feelings. Especially my feelings towards Do Kyungsoo, the one simultaneously the only occupant of my heart.

How could I be so sure about this? The fact that my feelings towards D.O are not changed after he bluntly rejected my confessions itself is enough to be the only reasonable thought of my confidence.

I sighed at the thought, why would D.O think that my feelings are mistaken? Why would I be mistaken for my feelings towards him? I know myself, and I know my feelings. They’re genuinely aimed for D.O, for Do Kyungsoo himself. My most adored Grim Reaper, my superior.

The even worse part of what happened next, after all of my confessions towards D.O, after what I had thought; that we must have been awkward afterwards, it never happened. D.O came back to his normal routines; back to his normal behavior, as if there’s nothing that had ever happened between us.

The ‘ting!’ sound of the toaster sent me back to reality, distracting my frustration thoughts I kept inside my mind. I have not, and I don’t have both the courage simultaneously the right people in mind to consult about this problem. I need someone who knows about D.O’s past, who would like to spill the beans, who would love to bring D.O’s smile back; his genuine smile.

I serve the toasts with some peanut jam, perfectly arranged on the plates; one for D.O and one for me. Somehow it feels as if I’m his boyfriend; I suddenly feel as if D.O and me are sharing a special relationship. At least if he doesn’t act as if nothing’s happened just like what he does right now.

“Hm, that smelled nice, Chanyeol! The best I expected from you; my most trusted assistant” D.O’s eye smile is apparent while he praised my unbelievably not-so-brilliant cooking, or rather toasting, skills. This; is my weakness. That wrinkles apparent as the smile’s residue, that glistening eyes of an innocent child, that beautifully heart shaped smile. Those things are completely ruining my heart and mind, perfectly distracting my concentration.

‘…most trusted assistant…’ I don’t want to be just an assistant! I want to be more than that, D.O, please realize this one thing. I want to be yours, and I want you to be mine. I don’t care if none is able to love me, as long as you’re able to be my love, Do Kyungsoo.

D.O lift his toast and eat them with his hands elegantly, peanut is his favorite jam that’s why he’s humming while he’s eating his breakfast. I know it, that’s why I made the toast with peanut jam smeared all over the golden roast toast.

“He also used to made this for our breakfast every morning.” Here he go again, since I’ve acknowledged the presence of Kim Ryeowook in D.O’s past, he began to talked to me about him ever since. I felt pity and jealous, anger and sympathy, wonder and guilt, all at the same time that I feel disgusted with myself. Why would I ever be jealous over someone who’s not coming back? To whom would I express this anger? And how could I answer all of these questions?

To none but myself I cursed my mind. I should have not have a thought over these anymore; I’m just hurting myself even more.

“He knew that I love toast.” I also knew.

“He knew that peanut jam is what I always love to have.” I also knew.

“He knew that having a breakfast together has always been my wish.” I can’t stand it.

Why it is always about him? Why Kim Ryeowook? Couldn’t you look at me, Do Kyungsoo? Couldn’t you just forget about him and love me, D.O?

And when I looked at him once again, I knew it. I need to go and search for a solution to this, fast. His bitter smile is getting even bitter, and I can stand it no more.

“Well, I need to get going.” D.O stood up as he spruce his black shirt, smoothing his black trousers before putting on his dark night robe over his shoulder.

“See you at the office, Chanyeol.” He said as he smiles, putting on his cloak’s hood over his head; hiding his face from my sight.

“Good luck…Kyungsoo” The last words came out from my mouth as a silent whisper through the air, echoing inside my heart. I watched D.O disappear to the outer world as I slanted back at my own chair, clenching my toast just enough to crunch anything inside my clutch.

At that time, I finally know whom I might be able to contact about this. The only one that knows almost everything at this Life Department, the one that could be very busy to be wandering around. The one that would never visits anyone, the only person who could only be visited and not the other way around; the Time Management department’s Tao.

finally got the time to write and post! xD not proofread though...

my proofreader doesn't have time to proofread thanks to her final major project :'(

anyway~ wifey's bday is approaching!! CNY is approaching!! *double happiness*

I wonder what gift I should give to my wifey~ it's her 18th! ^^

also for CNY~ gonna have lots of income /smirk LOL

I'm in a festive mood~ let the angpao come~ na lai, na lai

does anybody here celebrate it too? ^^