Chapter 8
I Do...Forever
Donghae P.O.V
Me and Hyukjae is currently driving home from the carnival. The awkwardness and the tension is killing me, but I choose to ignore it and look out the window while Hyukjae drives.
Flashback (at the carnival)
I rushed towards Hyoyeon and Hyukjae, who were still hugging each other and didn't seem to notice me.
"Hyukkie" I called his name, and they immediately release each other. Though I can still see Hyoyeon fingers lingering in Hyukjae's arms.
"Hae-ah...this is Hyoyeon. Apparently she is a friend of mine" Hyukjae said it so happily, with a big smile while looking at me.
"I know" I said while clenching my jaw. I then turned to Hyoyeon, "What are YOU doing here? What do you want?" I asked coldly. I couldnt help it.
She smirked..."ooo..nothing. I was just around the neighborhood and decided to come to this carnival. This is a PUBLIC CARNIVAL, right?" She replied sarcastically while emphasizing the word public.
I was about to retorted back, but just then I remembered Hyukjae and saw that he was standing there, looking questioningly between me and Hyoyeon. I took a deep breath and decided to ignore her then.
"Well, I hope you enjoy yourself. Let's go Hyukjae" I grabbed Hyukjae's hands and was about to drag him when I heard him say to Hyoyeon.
"Okay. Bye Hyoyeon. I guess, I'll see you around?" I heard the hopeful way he said it to Hyoyeon and had to control myself not to lash out at him.
What makes my blood boiled harder was Hyoyeon's answer.
"Of course you will. Very soon too"
FLASHBACK ENDS
I kept clenching my jaw each time I remembered her words. Its bugging me to the point of craziness. I was so mad and confused to see her again, after such a long time.
What is she doing here? What does she want? Is she here to bring trouble? Does she wants Hyukjae?... All these questions keep running through my mind, and without realizing I released a harsh sigh.
"What's wrong?" I heard Hyukjae asked. I kept quiet. Then, he asked me the question that I have been trying to avoid answering.
"Hae-ah...who is Hyoyeon actually? Why does it seems like you dont like her that much"?
I stiffen at his question and I was thinking of ways to answer him. Should I lie or tell him the truth? I was deciding to kept quiet and ignore him, but then he asked me again. This time, I can almost hear the desperation and annoyance from his voice.
"Hae-ah...answer me. Who is Hyoyeon?"
I sighed again, for the nth time today and finally turned towards Hyukjae. He was looking at me, while still keeping his watch to the front, since he is still driving.
"Lets just go home first okay? I promised I will tell you when we get home, okay?" I asked him tiredly. Luckily he agrees, though he seems relunctant to. The rest of the ride home was silent.
As he parked the car in the paveway, I rushed to unfasten my seat belt, and when out the door, rushing towards the door. I put in the key and walked to the kitchen and decided to make some hot tea to calm my nerves.
I heard the front door being closed, and footsteps nearing the kitchen. "Hae-ah..."
"Do you want some hot chocolate? I'm about to make some for me" I cut his words, and hope to prolonged the dreadful conversation that is about to happen for as long as I can.
He nodded and walk through the kitchen door, and sit at the table.
I took my time making the drink and when I was done, I brought both the cups towards the table and pass one to Hyukjae. He then signal me to sit in front of him and I had no choice but to do so.
I took a sip, and finally look towards Hyukjae. It didnt quite surprised me to find him staring intently at me.
"Are you ready to talk now?" He asked me. I sighed again and nodded.
"What do you wanna know first?" I asked
"Well, how about you start with telling me who Hyoyeon is and why does it seems like you dont like her?"
I kind of expected that question, but it still surprises me when hearing it from his mouth. My mind went blank and I dont know what to tell him nor do I know where to start.
I took a deep breath and let it out. "you and hyoyeon used to be a couple" I started.
He seem shocked and drop his jaw at hearing what I said.
"yup...she used to be your girlfriend. That is until you and me become a couple. So, basically now she is your ex-girlfriend". I finished in one breath.
Hyukjae was looking at me, and the shocked was so apparent in his face. I can see his mouth open and closed, probably trying to find any words to say.
I decided to stay silent and let him process what I just said through his brain quietly.
After a few minutes, I heard him cleared his throat. He looked at me with so much questions in his eyes.
"Hmm...so, ex-girlfriend? what happen? How did she become my exgirlfriend?" Hyukjae asked.
I felt a pang in my heart hearing him asked me that, because I swear I could detect a slight sadness in his voice. Though I'm not sure why.
Did he suddenly feel regret because Hyoyeon is no longer his girlfriend or something? Is he sad because instead of having a '/t\beutiful girlfriend like Hyoyeon, he is stucked with a plain husband like me?
I tried to push the hurt and sadness when I think of these possibilities and shake my head to rid of the negative thoughts.
Flashback
"I dont love you anymore Hyoyeon. I love Donghae" Hyukjae told Hyoyeon coldly. At the same time, Hyukjae was holding
Donghae's hand tightly.
"Really now Hyukjae. You're gay now? Thats just disgusting" Hyoyeon screamed at Hyukjae.
Donghae flinched at her words, and Hyukjae seems to sense that. He pull Donghae closer to him and rub Donghae's nuckles
comfortingly to sooth the younger.
"You're confused. I know you are" She tried to plead.
"NO...I'm not. Besides, I wouldnt say I'm gay or anything. It just so happen that I am in LOVE with a guy. If that makes me
gay, then so be it. But, I am only gay for Donghae" Hyukjae said with no hesitance at all and standing firmly on his
ground.
Donghae couldnt help but feel touched and what Hyukjae just said.
"What the hell did you do to him?" Hyoyeon directed her anger towards Donghae now.
"You ing . Cant you find somebody single or something to you, that it had to be someone else's boyfirend? AND
Hyukjae?" Hyoyeon was all out screaming at Donghae now.
Donghae was stunted at the accusation and had to force himself not to let go of the tears thats threathening to fall down.
Donghae also felt embarassed towards the neighbours as he was sure that they can hear Hyoyeon screams and shouts.
"Shut up, Hyoyeon. Thats enough!!" Hyukjae said sternly.
"Its not Donghae's fault. Its me. I'm the one who no longer LOVES you. Its not Donghae's fault. So stop blaming it on him.
Besides, you cheated and we are over even before me and Donghae became a couple, REMEMBER? Which means, Donghae didn't
steal me from you. We broke up. SO now...just turn around and leave." Hyukjae said coldly.
I can see that Hyoyeon was getting madder by each second. "You'll regret this Hyukjae. You too Donghae!!! I'll make sure
you will not be happy" She practically screamed out at us and rushed out the door, while giving it a hard slam.
FLASHBACK ENDS
I finished with a loud sighed. I wasnt looking at Hyukjae all the while I was telling that story. Finally, after I was done, I forced myself to look at his face for reactions.
I can see that he was shocked from the way that he is gaping now. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no words came out. All the while I just kept silent.
"hmmm...s...so...you're saying that, she's now my ex-girlfriend? Me and Hyoyeon broke up, because we're together?" He asked me.
This time the pang in my heart got worst because there was no doubt that I detected sadness and regret in his voice when he asked that question.
Suddenly, I felt angry and without thinking I just lashed out at him.
"Why? Are you regretting it now? Do you want to be with her instead of me? Did you wish that you havent broken up with her? Are you gonna give me that "divorce" crap again, just because you want to be with her now?"
I was panting and breathing so hard after I was done lashing out at him. I know he was shocked from my outburst, since I am not the type to get angry easily. But, I was so mad that I couldnt care less about what Hyukjae is feeling at the moment.
"No..No! Thats not what I meant. I'm just trying to get a clearer explanation about the situation. Thats all. Its not about regret or who I wanna choose or whatever crap you think it is. I was just merely asking you so I could understand my past better, Donghae" He hissed.
I can clearly see that he was getting frustrated and angry now, but I just dont care. Geeessshhhh... I was so ing mad myself!!!
"Then why the hell did you sound so sad to know that you're no longer with her huh? I'm pretty sure you're feeling regretfull too, right?" I shouted at him.
"What??? What the hell are you talking about Donghae? I wasnt...." he shouted back, but I cut him off.
"Save it Hyukjae. Dont try to deny it. Dont lie!!"
"Donghae, what's wrong with you? I thought you're trying to help me. But, why the hell do you have make things more complicated? Why are you being like this? So ing childish...and....annoying" He lashed out at me while giving me a harsh glare.
I was stunned. I'm being childish? Annoying? His words keep replaying in my mind and my heart was breaking. I can feel my tears now b to fall down.
"You know what, maybe you're right. Maybe I do wished I was with Hyoyeon right now instead of you. Maybe I do prefer her more than you. Besides, I'm not sure wether I'm really gay, or straight or Bi since I cant really remember who I am before I lost my memory now, would I? I mean, how would I know if you're just pretending to love me and lying about us being married, huh???" He laughed humorlessly, while still giving me a glare.
My eyes widen at what he said. "What are you talking about Hyukjae?" I screamed in my mind, the words stuck in my throat and I could only stare at him, shocked.
"I need to get out of here" and just like that, Hyukjae turned around and was out the door before I had the time to process what just happen.
I just stand there, too shocked to do anything, with all my feelings mixed up together. Regret, sadness, pity, angry, shocked....everything.
Most of all, I was afraid that I would lose Hyukjae now, to Hyoyeon of all people too. I had a bad feeling about this too, after what just happened.
I fell to my knees and just let the tears fall down my cheeks, not trying to hide or stop it anymore.
"Hyukkieee...." I whispered, while I let my entire body fall down to the floor and lay there. I curled myself into a ball and just let myself succumb to the sadness.
END CHAPTER.
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Halloooo my luvly readers. Finally, I managed to find the time to update the next chapter. It's getting harder and harder to write this story, since I'm having a really major writers block.
BUT, dont worry. I WILL FINISH THE STORY.....Just might take longer than I expected... So, please be patient with me, my luvly readers....pweeeesseeee....T_________T
Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter. Sorry if its too short or not as good as you think. I'm sorry too if its a little crappy....Mianhaeeee...T____T
Will try to update soon okayyy....enjoy guys. Sorry for any grammars or spelling mistakes too....@_@
P/S : Dont forget to leave a comment you guys....Luv u....^_^
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