Lee Donghae P.O.V

 

Its been 3 days since me and Hyukkie are allowed to return to our home. During that time, I tried to distant myself from him as much as I can, though the urge to have as much skin contact as possible is killing me. I tried to give him as much space as possible, as I can see that he really needs it.

 

I can see clearly in Hyukkie's face, how uncomfortable he is, even it was just a mere brushing of hands between us. Sometimes, I pushed the hurt and tried giving him pecks in the cheeks, or carressing his cheeks, but he would flinched everytime I touched him, though he tried so hard to stay still and not show that he is uncomfortable. 

 

It cuts my heart and pains me so much that I cant touch my own husband, without him being afraid or uncomfortable. Hyukkie, knowing that I am his husband, also tried to relax around me, but I know it was not easy for him.

 

I can understand though, I would probably feel the same way. Imagine living with someone you dont know, that claims to be your husband, but you have no memory of him at all. You probably dont know that you were gay in the first place either. 

 

I guess that would hurt me the most, if Hyukkie were to feel uncomfortable with me because he thinks he is straight and not gay. Most probably he likes girls now, and cant believe that he has a guy as a soulmate, as his bride, moreover as a HUSBAND.

 

Well, on the bright side, the both of us are recovering nicely. I can now walk without having someone to wheel me all the time. But, with cruthches of course. Hyukkie on the other hand looks much better than me. He can walk freely and just a few bandages here and there. Other than that, he looks normal. Dr Choi says that I'll have my leg bandage taken off by this weekend.

 

I just wish there are better news about Hyukkie's condition...

 

I heard the front door opened and a "Baby Haaeeee..." I smiled. Thats Heechul hyung. I walked to the front door and saw Hyukkie and Heechul hyung together with his boyfriend, Hankyung hyung taking off their shoes. 

 

"Haeeeee....my baby...there you are. I missed you" Heechul hyung ran to me and engulfed me in a big bear hug. Then Hankyung hyung did the same too. I then turned to Hyukkie and he was standing while smiling akwardly towards me. 

 

"Hi Hyukkie" I gave him a small but genuine smile. He relaxed and smile back. "Hi....Hae".

 

"Hae-ah, I brought lots off food for lunch, and also your favorite chocolate milk. Come lets eat" Heechul hyung said. I just nod and followed them to the kitchen. 

 

 

 

After lunch, Heechul and Hankyung hyung excused themselves saying they have to return back to work, after helping us tidy up first of course. 

 

I'm in the living room currently, going through the channels watching random shows sitting in the sofa. Hyukkie came and sat at the couch at the other side of the room. I smiled bitterly remembering that usually we would cuddle together and not be so far apart.

 

"what would you like to watch?" I asked him

 

"Aything" he answered.

 

Then silenced. After a few minutes I heard him speak again.

 

"I'm going back to work in another two days. Dr.Lee says its okay for me to do so."

 

"ooh...thats good then" I smiled. "You sure you're going to be okay"? I asked.

 

"yeah, I'm sure. Cant wait to anyway."He said. I nod and turned back to the tv. After a while I stood up and with difficulties walk towards the bedroom. I grabbed a photo album and went back to the living room to show Eunhyuk.

 

"Hm, would you like to see some pictures. With us..in..it?" I stuttered. I was scared that he would not feel comfortable.

 

"Hmm...sure...I guess". He hesitated. I walked towards him and put the photo album in his lap. I then proceed to sat beside him on the couch, and took the album and turn it to the first page.

 

As, I open, a picture of us at the beach can be seen. I was sitting comfotably on Hyukkie's back while leaning my chin on his shoulder. He was giving me a piggyback ride, while Kibum took our picture. 

 

"I was on my first year as a college student, and at that time you just got promoted and we wanted to celebrate at the beach" I smiled remembering that day.

 

I then turned another page, and a picture of me eating an ice-cream with a little smudge on the nose and looking quite shocked, with Hyukkie's arms around me and smiling at the camera

 

I laughed at that. "This was the funfair that we went to near Kibum's house. He took this picture and I wasnt ready at the time. And thats how the picture comes out." I heard him chuckle a bit. 

 

We went through the album slowly, with me telling where each and every picture was taken.

 

"Hae...are you okay?" Suddenly I heard Hyukkie said. I looked at him and I think I might have look so lost as I dont know why he is suddenly asking me that question.

 

"hm, you're crying. Are you okay?" he asked again.

 

That shocked me so much and I immediately brought my hands up, and sure enough my cheeks are wet and tears were coming down from my eyes. 

 

I guess I didn't realize that I was crying while looking through the album.

 

"Oh god...I'm sorry...I dont know what came over me...Oh my, this is soooo embarassing. I'm sorry Hyukkie" I quickly wipe my eyes and cheeck to brush away the last remaining tears. All the while, Hyukkie just watching me, while I try to calm myself.

 

"Donghae....I'm sorry, I really am. I...I...I really dont know what to say Donghae-ah" I heard Hyukkie says.

 

"hm, no...no...I'm sorry. I dont mean to make you uncomfortable". He just kept quite after that. I wanted him to hug me, comfort me, and kiss me lovingly. Saying that everything is okay. That we will be okay. So very badly. But, I know that wont happen anytime soon.

 

He then stands up suddenly. "Hm....I need to go out for a while...hm..I..I..promised Heechul hyung, to..meet him. So, yeah..I have to go". Without waitng for a reply, he rushed passed me and grabs his coat. I heard the door being slam shut in his haste to get out of the house. 

 

I know he was lying and just wanted to get away from me. "Pabo hae-ah. Why did you have to cry huh? Pabo...pabo" I kept saying to myself while hitting my head.

 

When I looked down, the picture currently looking up suddenly makes me cry again. A picture of me kissing his cheeks, while he was looking at the camera with his gummy smile.

 

"Hyukkieee...." I sobbed while tracing his face. "I miss you".  

 

 

P/S: Sorry, it took a while for me to update. Kinda busy lately. 

 

Anyway, sorry if this chapter is kinda boring and lame. I will try to update again soon. Anyway, as usual enjoy and comments are appreciated...;)

 

The characters do not belong to me....Oh yeahhh...and Merry Christmas to all my readers and subscribers....;)