The first time I saw Ji Eun, I was enraged at her selfish and odd attitude which always frustrates me. 

I told myself that it's a pity because her face is something else while her personality is a negative but as time passed by, I slowly got used to her.

I managed to look at what's behind her uncanny facade and realized that she's a human too who has feelings just like us. Until mom told me this weird history of Ji Eun which almost looked like a bedtime story. 

Of course I didn't believe it! What am I, a kid? 

But as time gradually runs, I'm starting to doubt myself. 

This girl, Ji Eun, is someone who's irritating and funny at the same time. That's why it is hard to be mad at her when you're already close. No matter how dumb she is sometimes, she has this aura that will make people love her more. 

She is deep and serious when it comes to personal matters and I was indcredibly amazed at the way how she comforts a dejected soul. 

There was a time when I tried to observe her for a while and it lead me to a conclusion that this girl is far more greater than the sum of her parts. What's hiding behind her facade is something unique and amazing that stirs up a heart of a person.

When we finally got closed, I deciphered that she is someone who is strong and she's always ready to listen whenever someone needs attention.

But I was wrong.

She has the ability to keep her struggles and pains inside her without us noticing it. She quietly hides behind a facade that would make people believe that she's a fearless person but in reality, she is far more vulnerable and fragile than a thin layer of mirror.

Her heart is too small to contain life's predicaments that's why she easily gets hurt.

Saturday was dull to me until I saw her standing by the door with tears that were escaping from her swollen eyes.

I was awfully surprised at what I've seen because that woman was not the Ji Eun that I know.

The Ji Eun that I know always has glimmering eyes that is full of ecstasy.

The Ji Eun that I know always has a smile on her face that defines buoyancy.

The Ji Eun that I know doesn't have an idea how to cry.

Then I realized, the one who was standing before me was the real Ji Eun. 

Vulnerable.

Weak.

Flimsy.

Fragile.

Helpless.

It was a nightmare to see her like that but I managed to be still until she wrapped her arms around me, letting me realize that she cannot stand on her own. She needs someone to be there for her and during that day, I was the only one around.

Her gasps were scary and how she cried made me feel like I too was in agony because when she entered the house, her overflowing sadness conquered the whole room.

Just like how she stayed beside me when I needed someone, I did it to her.

I did it because I want to repay her but most importantly, I did it because I don't want to see her like that and I did it to remind her that I am there to try my best to shoo away her tears.

My body became numb because we stayed in that position for a very long while until when she realized that she has no more tears left, she broke away and sniffed as she wiped her eyes.

She looked at me and saw how damp my shirt was which made her purse her lips and tell me that she's sorry but I shrugged it away because I didn't mind.

At least this simple shirt of mine managed to catch her tears.

"Are you okay?" I asked although I know that it was a dumb question during that situation.

She gave no reply and instead, she turned around and headed upstairs, leaving me with a curious soul.

I stared at the kitchen table and disregarded the fact that I should cook because I suddenly lost my appetite. But when I remembered her, I quickly got a glass of water and went to where she was, hoping that this water could somehow take away the invisible burns in her heart.

I knocked at the door of her room but there was no answer until I averted my attention to the right and saw that the door leading to the terrace was opened. I didn't have to ask where she was.

The wind was utterly freezing when I stepped on the terrace and saw her sitting at the metal bench while a large blanket was wrapped around her which made her look more petite. Ji Eun was staring straight somewhere beyond the vast night sky that has a few stars.

"Hey," I mumbled and quietly took a seat beside her, disregarding the coldness of the metal.

She took the glass of water from me and whispered a thank you that I barely heard.

After emptying it, she put it on the floor and fixed back her attention ahead while I looked at it also, wondering what is she looking at a neverending cape of black. 

We stayed like that for a long while without muttering any few words. We let the utter silence embrace us no matter how uncomfortable it was. But it didn't matter to me because I was too focused on what she's feeling while hearing the sound of crickets from a far.

I was looking ahead when she suddenly placed half of the blanket on me. Maybe she realized that I was freezing because I only wear a thin shirt.

It was awkward but I mumbled 'thanks'.

After that, she went back to her position and this time, she looked to the ground.

I averted my gaze to her and saw her slowly putting her left fist on her chest. "It hurts...Something inside me hurts a lot."

Furrowing my brow, I tried to process what she had just said. "Your heart?"

She took in a deep breath after hearing my response. "That's it. That's the right word. It hurts."

When I heard her statement, I somehow managed to seep a hole on the reason why she's like that. "Why?"

"Luhan..." Ji Eun breathed, "left me..."

And that was it. 

All I wanted to that time was to punch him straight at his face and tell to him that he's stupid for letting Ji Eun go.

"Is this the love that this world contains?" Ji Eun mumbled and I noticed her shaky voice. "I thought love will be the one that'll give me a happy ever after but instead, it did the opposite."

I looked at how sadness basked her face and it was agonizing to watch. "Love doesn't always offer butterflies and sweetness, Ji Eun."

"That's nonsense."

"Then you still don't know what love means ." I responded, "your outlook on love is different from the reality."

For the first time, she held my gaze and gave me a challenging stare. "What is love then?"

"Love," I started, "is befriending happiness and pain at the same time."

And that shut her up.

I could see that she was a little confused so I patted her back. "You'll know it ...one day."

She sniffed and removed her gaze from me while I just stayed quiet until I hear her crying again. 

"I...I want to go home..." She mumbled between her sniffs, "I want to go..."

With eyes full of compassion, I looked at her. "You're already home."

She abruptly shook her head. "I don't want to be here. I want to go back in my world now."

I didn't know what to reply and since I didn't manage to process some strings of words for her, I just looked at how tears escape her eyes.

She kept on crying that's why in the end, I wiped it.

"Don't cry. We're here." I mumbled, "I'm here."

We stayed at the terrace for a while and when she finally got tired of letting out her pain through tears, Ji Eun just stood up and decided to proceed to her room but before she could go and disappear from my eyes, I wisphered, "Don't cry anymore."

But she didn't listen to me.

The place was filled of utter silence when I went to my room that's why as I dug deeper in an abyss of still quietness, I could hear some sniffing and muffling sounds at the room next to mine. 

And I knew it was her. 

Who could it be anyway.

I pictured myself punching Luhan straight at his face but after a while, it'll just fade and will be replaced by Ji eun who's crying her heart out.

How could he do that to her?

How could he hurt a vulnerable heart that doesn't have a shield of its own?

Is he even thinking?

I was afraid that Ji Eun might get traumatized just by hearing her words when we were together at the terrace. She sounded like she doesn't want to trust and love anymore. I'm afraid that she might built some walls around her and never come back.

~:~

It was Monday when Ji Eun locked herself inside her room and told Suzy that she doesn't have the strength to go to school. Suzy was awfully stressed and depressed about what just happened and she tried her best to keep Ji Eun company although it eats up a lot of her time away from her tons of schoolworks.

Soo Ri, however, just stayed quiet and until today, she still haven't had a talk with Ji Eun. Maybe she's just waiting for a right moment and time or maybe there's a reason why she's like that.

That's why on their way to school, the car was filled with silence after suffering from stress that's why all of them are just too tired to make a conversation. Suzy was just fiddling her phone at the backseat while Chanyeol, who's seated on the passenger's seat, fixed his gaze on the streets they pass by while getting lost in his abyss of thoughts.

After saying their quick goodbyes to their mother, Suzy and Chanyeol walked towards the school without muttering any words and before they could part their ways, Suzy tugged Chanyeol's sleeves, causing the older one to give her a questioning look.

"You think she'll be alright?"

Making an effortless smile, Chanyeol mumbled, "She will."

"How can you be so sure about that?" Suzy challenged as if she already accepted that there is no solution in that hopeless situation of Ji Eun.

"She will. But it'll take her a while." Chanyeol replied, "Repairing a broken wall is not easy, Suzy. It takes a lot of effort, patience, and time."

The girl stared at his walking figure as it became far while she processed the words that her brother had just said.

~:~

Chanyeol walked inside the room without a care of the idyllic moments that were happening. He just went forward to his assigned chair and became self-occupied by plugging in his earphones and listen to the usual songs that have the ability to let his mind wander.

He was tapping his fingers on the table according to the rythm when he spotted Luhan who was making his way inside the room. His face was unreadable as if he's carrying the whole world on his shoulders. Just by seeing him, all the memories of the past few days automatically entered Chanyeol's mind, making him clench his jaws. But he remained still as if he didn't know anything.

Luhan, on the other hand, sighed when he realized that the seat beside his chair was empty. It was a relief for him to not see Ji Eun but somehow, he was cursing himself because he knew that he's the reason why she's not there.

The rest of the day went on smoothly for the students until the bell finally rang to let them know that it's already dismissal time.

Chanyeol was fixing his bag when he heard his name from the person that caused his blood to boil.

"Hey Chanyeol," Luhan said, tucking his hands inside his pocket. "can we talk?"

Chanyeol pretended he didn't hear anything and slung his bag on his shoulder and just before he could go away from Luhan's presence, he gave him a glare.

And Luhan knew that Chanyeol isn't stupid enough to not know what had happened between him and Ji Eun.

With a sigh, Luhan dejectedly grabbed his bag and went out of the room and realized that Sehun was waiting for him outside.

"You okay?" His friend casually asked.

Luhan didn't look at him and started to walk while Sehun followed and went beside him.

"Do I look like I'm okay?" Luhan questioned and fixed his gaze ahead.

Sehun tried to chuckle just to change the atmosphere and slung his arm on his friend's shoulder. "Look kiddo, it looks like you're having problems again. Is it about Ji Eun again?"

Luhan stopped from his tracks and glared at him. "Shut your mouth, Sehun."

"What?" Sehun innocently said with raised eyebrows. "Did something happen between the two of you?"

"There's no 'us' anymore."

With that statement of his, Luhan walked away, leaving his surprised friend behind.

~:~

I found Ji Eun sitting on the bench at the terrace when we got home. She was staring straight ahead, as if she was searching for something unsearchable for all mankind. She didn't even notice my presence that's why in the end, I just sat beside her and handed her a soda that I bought at the school's cafeteria especially for her. And who knows, maybe a single can of soda can make her feel better than before.

She tried to smile as she reached it and muttered a thank you while I didn't bother to give any 'you're welcome.'

"How're you?" I asked. 

Ji Eun shrugged and stared at the can of soda that was wrapped by her hand. "Beyond repair."

Hearing her response, I took a deep breath and placed my hand on her shoulder. "You'll be okay."

She stared at me with those brilliant eyes of hers. Her look was somehow desperate and as it bore into me, it made me feel like every thing is hopeless, dire, and bleak.

I was afraid of what her reaction might be after I let out that sentence but instead, she smiled and tapped my hair which was kind of her since I didn't meet her height.

"Your straight hair fits you." 

Even though I knew that she's just using it to get away from the formulation of our conversation, I told myself that my hair will stay this way forever. Forget the curls. 

"You don't believe me?" I questioned.

"Huh?"

"You don't believe me when I said that you'll be okay?"

She tried to laugh as if what I had just said was the most amazing joke. I gave her a questioning look while she removed her gaze from me. 

"You know," She started, "it's my fault anyway."

I didn't say anything because I knew that she's not yet finished.

"I should've think first. I mean, just look at me. Do you think, I, who is an outcast to everyone's eyes, be able to experience love? I was a fool because I thought that it can happen but guess what, I was wrong."

Her eyes started to become watery and just before I could think of ways to comfort her, she stood up. "It's getting cold."

I looked at her walking figure until she disappeared from my sight. Ji Eun was still broken as well as her heart. I became afraid all of a sudden after hearing the words that she had said. I mean, that's what we want anyway. We want a person that we can love and will love us back. And despite the person's state, he/she deserves to love and be loved back. 

Hearing her words, I realized that Ji Eun wasn't just a person who can fix her own heart so easily that's why I became worried and afraid at the possibility that she'll let pain eat her up which will cause her to look at love in an awful perspective. Because if it happened, she may never see the different wonders of love and its chances.