Story: A Repulsive Love by GreenALiveTnS 
Reviewed by: E
Finished: 12/18/12

Title:

In all honesty, I like your title. It’s very contradicting and sounds like something you would see an old American or British film where homouals find themselves completely ashamed of their uality and finding themselves repulsive. It matches well with your description too, where there seems to be a conflict in this notion as if the boyfriend thinks it’s unnatural.

Character: *warning; LONG

Can I please ask what the hell is wrong with the society and the characters and how Jiyeon is not arrested for assault? Because there is a lack of common sense in a lot of these characters.

First of all, with Jiyeon:

Her character is supposed to an aggressive lesbian (as you have repeated many times in nearly every chapter) who is deeply in love with Suzy and waits a year to be reunited with her. That’s the softest I can make this version without going unprofessional and cursing how much her personality and mannerisms are (around the words that insinuate but not necessarily meaning that exactly) horrific and appalling. I had to take a few breathers before continuing to read the story because her character was just that damn frustrating and irritating to read about.

Loud and clear like the speakers placed in a quiet auditorium, Jiyeon is an absolute . I did not have to get passed a quarter of the first chapter to get that impression of her. Her attitude toward Myungsoo is absolutely appalling, abusive partners treat their other half better than she does. (Of course, that’s an exaggeration, but understand the intensity of despise a reader must be feeling reading about Jiyeon.) Jiyeon also seems more like the villainous character rather than one of heroines, and I wish I could give you points for that because one would rarely see that in a character. However, I have a feeling that is not your intention.

Her reactions are abnormal. She acts like an autistic kid with the worst and scariest tantrum in the world. And I’m not exaggerating, their tantrums can get pretty damn scary. Jiyeon punches Myungsoo in reaction to discovering Suzy has a boyfriend. (Obviously, I hate the way Jiyeon treats Myungsoo and he deserves better than the crap she’s giving him.) Who punches someone who is concerned about your wellbeing? Then she slaps Taemin? She has no right, Suzy is HIS girlfriend, he has every right to touch her and kiss her anyway he likes as long as it’s alright with SUZY.

She makes such irrational choices, such as suddenly leaving. That make sense but nonetheless irrational and immature and just running from her problems.

Next, Taemin:

Honestly, he’s probably the most sensible guy amongst the four of them, but dear God he needs to learn how to shut up sometimes. He’s an immature child who doesn’t like it when other people touch his stuff. He treats Suzy like an object, which would be okay if it was part of the plot. He’s also shallow as hell, whiny. Annoying, and he reminds me of those ignorant men who call gay men faggots. Which is what Taemin is doing, (he repeatedly calls her a lesbian, calm down with that word, it should not revolve around the story.)

He’s also rough and dangerous, his first meeting with Suzy can show that, you don’t just slam someone against a wall unless you’re actually fighting or getting ready for some rough banging on the wall.

Suzy:

The perfect girl for Taemin. And that is not a compliment. Useless and just there. Suzy is like an object of the story. She’s just there to be cute and for guys (and in this case, girls) to fall in love with her. There’s seriously a lack of common sense in her, if she’s supposed to have any.

Myungsoo:

If I liked any of the attributes of any characters, it would be Myungsoo. But, he too lacked the common sense have Jiyeon’s thrown in jail for assaulting him multiple times. (Seriously, he’s like an abused spouse.) Him falling in love with Jiyeon is unreasonable, and doesn’t make sense. Unless that was the point but there was nothing in depth with it. Nothing went further than him accidentally falling in love with her when he tried to make her fall in love with him. And again with common sense, if she didn’t love him a year into knowing Myungsoo, then that should be evident there’s no chance at all.

The characters altogether:

They’re all shallow. The context shows no reasons why they’re in love with one person or the other except for the unreasonable and unchallenging fact that they’re in love. There is no intimacy with any of character. And by intimacy, I don’t mean skinship or . Intimacy as in stories of lifelines. Studies show the way people fall in love is through intimacy, though it does not happen all the time, but when someone reveals something they never share with anyone.

Plot:

The plot had so much potential, but the characters ruined it. It was interesting, but the choices you made for characters and what to do ruined the story altogether. It was a good plotline, just the way it was carried out in your writing was disappointing.

Grammar:

There were a few misspellings and plenty of random sentences that tend to come out of nowhere. (sorry, this part of reviewing is not my strongpoint.)

Style:

Your style is completely ineffective in writing. It had me groaning at the use of words, where you placed your sentences, how you placed your dialogues. There was nothing significant nor interesting about your style. Your sentences has so much inconsistency with each other. Someone would do one thing and then all of sudden they’re doing something completely different.

This story gave me an absolute headache and I had a hard time reading it until the end. The characters and what they were doing was just appalling in my eyes and they were also completely unstable. The things they did to each other, especially Jiyeon to the boys, or Taemin to the whole situation was unrealistic. Your characters were unreal; especially concerning Jiyeon’s uality. She honestly did act like an actual lesbian, I don’t mean to characterize, but she did. The girl threw up when Myungsoo kissed her. And with her being a lesbian, it’s pretty hard for her to be able to even be attracted to someone of the opposite , especially when it’s obvious she hates his guts.

The story has potential, it can go deeper, it can mean something. But, it’s full of nothing but irrational decisions and personalities.