Alone
Unrequited Love
Ah-ra slightly grinned and gazed into the beautiful night sky. It was a cool breezy night where the swaying of the trees and the rustling of the leaves were invisible but apparent to the ears. The sky was dark and were filled with a gazillion of shining stars.
" I like it here." she uttered those words softly and opened her arms wide before falling into the soft grass.
" Me too." Baro heaved a sigh of relief and raised his head up to admire the dazzling night sky.
Both of their eyes sparkled as they stared into each of the stars that were embedded in the dark velvety sky. It had always been a rare sight to see so many stars in the city sky, Baro remembered the last time he saw them, it was back before he moved to Seoul. Every night, he would be out, running around in his floppy slippers and in his white singlet and shorts to get some fresh air. That was when, the night sky would never fail to captivate him, he enjoyed each moment of counting the stars.
" Ah-ra..." he called out for her name and turned his head to the side to look at her.
" What is it?" she responded but her attention was still on the beautiful dark sky.
Baro hugged his legs together and weakly smiled.
" Tell Sandeul to not cry anymore. I miss him too..." he bit his lips and tried to not choke on his words.
She confusingly turned to look at him. " What are you talking about?" she enquired and slowly stood up.
He turned around to look at her and faked a smile.
" You have to go now..." he grabbed her shoulders and proceeded to walk away.
Ah-ra stopped him by grabbing his cold, blue hands. Like a child, she tried to come up with a million of excuses for him to not leave her alone in a unfamiliar place. Baro still did not budge from and continued to walk away, she finally held onto his shoulders and pulled him to the side to look at his face.
He searched her eyes and pried her hands away from his shoulder. She looked at him nervously like a whining child and she was already tearing up, but it was useless. He continued to walk away from her and soon he disappeared into the shadows. Everything around her began to fade slowly, the flowers that she had been admiring were slowly wilting and the dark sky seemed to be forming together with the ground. It was the beginning of her nightmare.
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3 days later...
" Grab a glass of water." Mr.Shin directed his son to get a glass of water for Ah-ra who was already conscious.
" Baro..." she softly muttered those words as she searched for him in the darkness.
Everyone in the room looked over each other and kept their mouths shut. Jinyoung regretfully went to Ah-ra's side and embraced her, he knew it was best to take it slow lest they scare the wits out of her if she finds out that Baro was in another room fighting for his life.
" You're finally awake?" he whispered those words into her ears.
" I'm awake?" she confusingly uttered those words and buried her face into Jinyoung's chest.
Ah-ra carefully traced her delicate fingers on to her eyes, she hesitated at first for the fear of not being able to see again. Her fingers slowly grazed across the cotton bandage that were wrapped around her eyes, she heaved a sigh of relief and pulled herself away from Jinyoung. She flashed a smile and let out a small laughter.
" For a moment, I thought I had gone blind. It was just this bandage... what a relief..." she softly laughed as she muttered those words.
Shinwoo painfully curled his lips and ruffled his little sister's hair. It had been three days after the accident, after undergoing the procedure to repair her damaged retina, she had been unconscious for two days. Everybody had been worried about her and for the past two days, Jinyoung had taken over the responsibility of being at her side to take care of her as Mr.Shin and Shinwoo had been busy trying to settle things with Dal-rae and also at the same time trying to settle Baro's medical bills.
" How are you feeling?" he questioned her.
Ah-ra turned to her left and excitedly grab the hands that were her hair.
" Oppa! I'm so relieved to hear your voice. Can you give me a hug?" she innocently let her arms out to receive the hug.
Shinwoo controlled his tears as he realized that Ah-ra couldn't even detect where he was standing at, her face wasn't even facing him. Without wasting much time, he dearly embraced her in his warm arms. He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, he felt so apologetic for not being able to protect her. He didn't had the heart to tell her the truth, he tightened the grip around Ah-ra's arms.
Ah-ra did just the same and snuggled herself comfortably into her brother's arms. She felt safe and comfortable just like in the perfect dream. She had no fears, no worries now.
" Aigoo... Jinyoung is going to get jealous if the two of you are going to act like long-lost lovers..." Mr.Shin commented and teased his children.
" Appa?" Ah-ra pulled herself away and reached her hands out to search for her father.
" Yah! Yah! Be careful of that needle in your wrist. You're going to pull the IV drip over!" Jinyoung held her down and at the same time grabbed the IV drip stand to position it again.
Mr.Shin grabbed his daughter's silky white hands and nodded his head silently.
" I'm here." he reassured her and squeezed her hands.
" Appa, can I ask you something?" she requested and tried to find the voices that had been talking to her.
Jinyoung held his breath and prayed that it wasn't a question pertaining to her eyes or Baro. Shinwoo held her left hand tightly and clutched it towards his chest, he unknowingly nodded, forgetting that she couldn't see with the bandage around her eyes. Mr.Shin took several deep breaths and his daughter's luscious hair.
" Of course. What is it?" he lovingly responded to her.
" How many people are there in this room?" she questioned and her ears instantly turned red.
She felt pathetic that she couldn't even see or judge how many people were in the room. All she saw ahead of her was just darkness, it was like being trapped in a box with no sunlight.
" Three. Your brother, your fiance and me." he calmly replied.
" That's good... I have so many things to say." Ah-ra thought to herself and bit her lips.
She flashed a smile and carefully pressed the temple on her forehead. She had a slight headache from not being able to see any light or images. She tried to imagine white walls and a simply decorated room with a air freshener at the side of the bed. At the side, would be several chairs where Jinyoung would be sitting. Shinwoo was probably standing up and her father was at her right side sitting down and holding her hands.
" I-" Ah-ra confessed and flashed a painful smile. Her lips kept on trembling as she was about to speak the truth.
" Shh... I know exactly what you're going to say." her father interrupted and held her head close to him.
" Babo. My baby sister lied to me all these while? Yah. You should probably sign up for acting classes." Shinwoo folded his arms and shook his head.
" Sorry. I told them. I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. You're not going to hate me right?" Jinyoung added in to the conversation and bit his lips.
Ah-ra moved her head up and down to show her gratitude to Jinyoung. Crying was useless, there was no point to get depressed or upset about the past, she understood very well why her mother had made the outrageous favor to her, it was to protect Dal-rae. The only thing that mattered now, was that she no longer needed to deceive everyone around her. It was the greatest feeling in the world, she no longer had to carry the burden around with her anymore.
" What is going to happen to Omma then?" she voiced out her concern.
" Don't worry about that. Your mother is at home." her father answered and tried to reassure her.
" Speaking about that, is everyone alright? Especially Baro. I'm worried about him... How about Sandeul? Dal-rae? Those thugs must have got to her, hence she wasn't able to attend the party. Is she alright?" Ah-ra kept on questioning till Shinwoo had to pinch her lips together.
" Shh. You are giving us a headache. Just keep quiet and rest. Baro is on a vacation. He deserves the rest. Sandeul and Gongchan are safe. You'll be able to see Dal-rae soon when you're discharged. She's safe and sound." Shinwoo lied about the first part of the story so as to not make his little sister worry.
" Is it a nice place?" she asked and only focused on where Baro went on a vacation.
" Absolutely. He's enjoying his vacation." Jinyoung summed everything up and massaged her stiff hands.
" That's good..."
Mr.Shin nodded and pursed his lips, at least before Ah-ra recovers, he wasn't going to talk about the divorce. Nor was he going to talk about the police case that was closed yesterday due to lack of evidence, and the authorities had placed the blame on the street fight and dismissed any thoughts of foul play in the case. For Baro's case, his medical bills was fully covered and insured.
" Ah-ra, come here. I'll teach you something." Jinyoung excitedly changed the topic and raised his eyebrows repeatedly.
Jinyoung nodded his head and slowly placed her hands on his face. He slowly trailed her fingers on his eyes, he then placed her soft fingers on his intricate nose bridge and lastly, he let her trace his thin lips. He then proceeded to shut his eyes, placed his fingers on her porcelain face and traced each of her facial features.
" You have deep eyes, a sharp nose, cheekbones... and thin lips. You have pointed ears and silky hair. Memorize my facial features." he grinned as he studied her facial features.
Shinwoo laughed and hit Jinyoung gently on the back. At the same time, the doctor came in with a chart to inspect Ah-ra. Jinyoung stepped aside to join her brother and father.
" Do you feel giddy or nauseous?" the doctor questioned her.
" Not really." she answered truthfully and placed her hands on her head.
" She's recovering well. We'll monitor her for a week. That's all." he nodded his head and walked out of the room again.
" That was fast." Shinwoo commented and scratched the back of his neck.
" Did you hear that Ah-ra? You're doing well." Jinyoung exclaimed and clasped his hands together to say a prayer.
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Sandeul leaned against the corridor walls and shut his eyes tightly. At least, Ah-ra was safe and sound. His eyes were swollen from crying day and night over Baro, he had wanted to visit Ah-ra with the purpose of cheering himself up, but instead he felt worst than ever. His heart ripped from every skin contact that Jinyoung had with Ah-ra, after all they were still a couple. He felt that Jinyoung didn't respect that, it wasn't fair. They still had yet to end the relationship.
" Why am I always losing the one that I love? Why can't I be happy?" Sandeul thought to himself and walked back to Baro's hospital room.
Mrs.Cha and Yoonji were by his bedside holding his hands, they never stopped their prayers to get him to wake up. Within the past three days, he had undergone two surgeries for the cerebral haemorrhage in Baro's brain tissue that was caused by brain trauma. That was the reason why he was still in a coma, the mortality rate was 40%. The oxygen tank kept Baro alive, the heart monitor showed his heart activity, it was weak. He could go at any time.
" Omoni...Yoonji. You both should go get some rest. I'll take over." Sandeul voiced out and tapped Baro's mother on the shoulder.
" Alright. I'll send Yoonji home and come back with some food for you. Yoonji-ah, let's go." she stood up and pulled her reluctant daughter away.
Sandeul painfully stared at his best friend's little sister, her eyes were so red that no more tears could flow out of those innocent eyes. He felt guilty, it was all his fault, if only he could protect Baro. If only.
After they left, Sandeul leaned against the chair gradually and clasped his hands together to his face. He wiped his face with his hands, sighed and stared at Baro's stiff body. His hands were cold and blue, his face was partially covered with the oxygen mask, tubes were forced down his throat to keep him alive. They had literally poked a hole near his gall bladder to get the wastes out of his body. It was painful to see someone he loved to have to go through such torture.
" Cha Sun Woo. Don't be too engrossed in the stargazing, the nights has seen fewer stars, they must be keeping you company in your dreams. Come back here, I'm lonely." Sandeul whispered those words into Baro's ears and placed his head on the bed railing.
He felt as if the whole world had came down crashing on his shoulders, he couldn't even stand up straight nor breathe properly, he hadn't had had proper meals for the past three days because he stayed up all night waiting for Baro to come out safely from the operation room and at the same time to give support to his family members especially Yoonji since she was still in high school. Tears rolled down his pale cheeks at the thought of how painful it must have been for Baro's family to go through the ordeal.
" Be strong for the sake of your family." he thought to himself and reached out for a wet towel to moisten Baro's body with it.
He gently lifted up Baro's right hand and cleaned his blistered fingers with the towel. Every time Sandeul heard the machine beep, his heart would skip a beat and every time Baro's chest would lift up to breathe, Sandeul felt his heart sank deeper into his stomach. He wondered whether Baro could actually feel him or even hear him, he was worried that his best friend would be too lonely in his own world. He became anxious on whether his best friend would even survive the whole ordeal.
Sandeul then dabbed Baro's lips with a cotton bud to moisten his dry lips. The lips that had taught him how to smile, show his feelings, become out spoken and give him advices whenever he needed one. In the end, they became the best of friends, people would call them 'Badeul' for short, and they were always the noisiest bunch of people. Sandeul grinned at the thought of their memories together and raised his head up to control the tears, he blinked a few times and shook his head so that he wouldn't get too emotional.
" Lee Junghwan?" a familiar voice called out to him.
Sandeul immediately stood up and turned around, he almost collapsed as soon as he saw Mr.Shin standing next to the door. He wasn't sure about how to react nor whether he should greet him, the person wasn't calling him 'Sandeul' but was calling him by his real name ' Junghwan'. Did he find out? Why was he calling him by his real name?
" Sandeul." he corrected Ah-ra's father.
Mr.Shin nodded his head and calmly approached Sandeul. He shook his head and grabbed Sandeul's shoulder gently, he ruffled the boy's hair and gave him a hug. Sandeul stood there, bewildered by what he was doing, why was the man hugging him? He could even hear him crying. This was the man who stoled his family business, his father's best friend, the man he had wanted to destroy.
" Junghwan-ah... I really deserved this punishment. I should have seen it coming... I'm so sorry, all these years...." he muttered those words and pulled himself back from Sandeul.
" All these years? " Sandeul knew that he couldn't lie anymore.
" Let's sit down and talk." Mr.Shin voiced out and dragged Sandeul to the cafeteria.
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" Is Ah-ra going to be alright?" Sandeul placed the cup of coffee on the table and stared into her father's eyes.
" We'll have to wait for a week. Junghwan-"
" I'm Lee Sandeul." he corrected him again.
Mr.Shin changed his attention to the ring that was on Sandeul's finger. It was exactly the same as the one on his daughter's finger except that it was chipped at the side.
" You and Ah-ra..."
" This? It means nothing. It's weird to be dating my half-sister, little sister. In a way, I'm related to Ah-ra. Don't worry, we are really nothing." he lied through his teeth and stood up.
" That's a relief." he flashed a smile and stood up to hold Sandeul by the shoulder.
" I wish a speedy recovery to your daughter." Sandeul faked a smile and walked out of the hospital.
The wind blew harshly against him, he staggered in the streets as his brain wasn't functioning properly anymore. Again, he was alone, with no one. The only person that he had always depended on was Baro, even the weather wasn't helping. It was so gloomy that it made him feel even more depressed. Dying seemed to be a good option, at least he would be able to find Baro in the other world. Perhaps.
He was too tired to cry, too exhausted to try and convince himself that if was worth living a life on earth. Just like his father, he wanted to end his life, if he really died, he would then be able to join his parents. After walking blindly in the streets and hitting people randomly with his shoulders, a familiar song was sang in the streets. There was a microphone, all he needed was a microphone. He pushed the man that was singing and immediately snatched the microphone away from him.
" Just one song. One song and I'll go away." Sandeul uttered those words as if it was a plead.
" Pfft. Go ahead, crazy guy." the man folded his arms and sat at the side to listen to what he was going to sing.
He shut his eyes and sang the song that he had always loved. Whenever he was happy, he would sing it, whenever he was depressed or sad, he would sing it. ' Love is punishment' by K.will. It was one of the best songs he could sing, it brought out his emotions and his passion for singing. As soon as Sandeul began singing, everyone in the streets stopped to look at him, eyes sparkled as they heard his angelic voice. They could feel the pain in his voice and the emotions that he was conveying.
" Thank you for listening." he placed the mike on the stand and walked away.
He felt satisfied, people were praising him for his singing talent and some random girls were asking for his name and number. He shyly greeted them by bowing and felt thankful to them, he felt appreciated. Without wasting time, he hailed for a cab to get him to his next destination.
" Namsan hill." he instructed the taxi driver.
" Why are you going to the hills when it's so dark already?"
Sandeul ignored the driver's words and proceeded to look out of the window. He gradually raised his fingers and traced two hearts on it, he showed his gums and wiped the residue on the window away. He sincerely believed that no one cared about him, nor would his existence be of any benefit to anyone. He made a decision that Sandeul would never choose, he unknowingly changed his mindset to that of Junghwan's. The weak and unhappy Junghwan.
He silently fished his wallet out and opened it up, a family portrait of his 'perfect' family greeted him, he missed the warmth of his mother. He realized that his mother's love for him was an undying one, a love beyond compare, the one you take your troubles to, the only one that really cares. In this sad life of his, he was alone.
" Let it be a swift one." he prayed.
I finally had the time to update! Thank u guys for all of ur support. ^^
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