Your POV

Everything goes black and I’m alone in a little room sitting in a chair  while some nice Chopin plays through a record player.

I look around and see that it looks like the quiet room back that Ba and I had back in our apartment back in New York.

I look around expecting to see something cause it seems when I have a spell like this I always end up here.

I look around for the weird bear that’s always here, but I can’t seem to see him.

“Benny, where are you?” I call out hoping that I’ll hear an answer.

Benny is a helpful friend though he is a bit like my twin… but he’s a lot more like when my sister was protective over me.

So he’s protective and helpful but he also mocks me about being so close but so far from my death bed…

Cheeky bastard.

“Ahh if it’s not little Bunny rabbit. DId you have another spell so you could come play with me? You know that’s not very safe.”

Man I’m pretty messed up for having someone like him in my head, but oh well he’s just a copy of an oversized bear I had when I was a child.

“Benny don’t mock me you stupid bear,” I growl out.

“Oh really now cause you are the one close to death when I’m the one already rotting away in the landfill.”

I wasn’t the one that threw him away it was my father who did. Benny was in real bad shape since I brought him everywhere which was a hassle, but I loved him since he was a gift from SunSun.

I sigh as I sit down on a bench by the piano while I listen too the music just like I used too.

I feel Benny sit down by me and he uses his claws too push down on the keys.

He plays a tune that I know all too well. A tune of the rhythm of my heart something that I know will soon stop.

I sigh as the piano stops and I feel a bit morbid for playing something like that.

Benny takes my hand in my own and whispers my name in SunSun’s voice.

“Benny, don’t pick on me.”

“I’m not I’m relaying what he’s saying. I know that I’ve been mean to you since I can remember, but that’s cause I feel abandoned much like you do. Yet it wasn’t you who abandoned me and left me to riot in the landfill, but your parents did cause I was in a real bad shape.”

I know this I watched as my dad had taken his out too the garbage and toss him in. It was one of the worse things I remember. Which is sad since I’ve known that I’d die an early age since I can remember.

I sigh when I hear someone open and close a door, “Come on Sungjae. It’s time for practice.”

“Ilhoon, why haven’t you been in here? It’s been 3 days and she still hasn’t woken up. She’s your girlfriend.”

Benny looks at the side of the room where a sound system is set up and the voices seem too come from.

“What’s going on?”

“They seem too be fighting because of you. Something that you’re good at”

“Shut up! Go away,” and like that Benny laughs and disappears leaving alone with the sound system.

“It seems that you don’t care for her if you haven’t said a word,” I hear something being pushed away and another sound of something hitting a wall.

Then a slapping sound, “That’s what you think. All you’ve been doing since we’ve started dating is basically attacking me. Stop too ing think what’s going on.”

I hear a coughing sound and I hold my breath remembering something that Ilhoon had told me that his lungs aren’t in the best condition.

“Really then enlighten me what’s going on?”

“Stop too ask yourself that. Why does it seem that her being in my arms bothers you so much. Why is it that she spends so much time with me? Yet here you are spending all your freetime here! Making it hard for me too stay here!”

I try too shut off the stereo while shouting at it, “Stop! Stop it! Why are you 2 acting like this? You’re friends and bandmates.”

Sungjae’s POV

I’ve been in the hospital with Ilhoon since we were told that Sora had collapsed. Though Ilhoon only stands outside of the room while I sit there with her holding her hand. I had barely leaved the room while Ilhoon will disappear too who knows where.

Still when Ilhoon had come in and we started fighting I didn’t think much of it until I hear Sora whimpering and muttering the words, “Stop it.”

I shut up and listen too her, “Why are you 2 acting like this? You’re friends and bandmates.”

I shoot up out of my seat and push the button for the nurse.

I keep pushing it until a nurse comes in, “She’s talking.”

We look over at Sora and she’s completely silent the only thing that seemed to have change is that she had shifted a little and her face is still scrunched up as if she’s in pain.

“What were you two doing anyway?” the nurse asks us in a disapproving tone.

I sigh and ignore her as I sit back down, “Buns… Can you hear me?”

I hear her hum a little bit as if she’s saying yes.

Ilhon shoots too my side pushing me a bit, “Sora… Please wake up. I beg you. We need you. You’re the only person who can deal with this fighting of ours.”

Her face turns into a smile as her head nods, “Yeah…”

Ilhoon and I look at each other as we scuff at each other as we look back at Sora.

The warmth that’s radiating off her hand makes me feel a bit better, but at the same time I feel worried that this can mean nothing.

Sara’s POV

It seems that there’s a slight problem with Sora and I feel guilty.

She was right with everything that she had yelled at me. It’s not that I’m hurt or worried, but at the same time I feel like I am.

Does that make any sense at all?

I’m not sure if it does. Still Sora is in the hospital because of her heart… it’s because of me that day she wasn’t able to get the transplant. She would have been better but I lied about her health… They took my word over my parents and her’s….. I’m not sure but looking back at it I worry about them. How those doctors be so stupid… I’d rather have my twin hate my guts then care about me for she’s going to die because of me.

I sigh as I look up too see my true boyfriend looking at me, “You’re thinking of her again. Of your younger twin of a few minutes.”

I look over at him as I snort, “She says I ruined her life… She’s right from the second I was born I ruined her life. I knew that back when we were only 5 years old so I tried to make it up too her. Then we moved here and everything became different and soon I felt so annoyed with being her bodyguard. I started to hate her even though I knew she was really fragile that’s why everyone seemed to care about her so much. I was tired of all of it. I hope she hates me for the rest of her life.”

I hear him sigh as he lays back onto the floor, “You know you shouldn’t make your family hate you when you hate yourself enough as it is.”

I look at him as I nod my head, “I know.”

I stand up walking to the bathroom and I know his careful eyes are watching me ready for me too give him any order.

I don't feel like doing so. I boss him around cause he likes , but I want to go back to when I was a kid. Back to the day when everything was so much simpler times where there was nothing wrong with life. This is what I know as my life.

I sigh when I hear my boyfriend getting up and I know he won’t say or do anything that’ll make me mad.

I hear him putting on his shoes causing me to shoot up in my seat and run to the front door.

“Where are you going?”

“Home,” he answers bluntly.

“Why?” I ask him trying not to sound needy or whiney.

“Cause I’m tired of pretending who I am not around you. I’m tired of you pretending to be a stuck up . Sara… I know that you’re a kind and such a crybaby. I have loved you since I first met you back when you were the old you, the chunker you. I miss her… THe girl that I had fallen in love with when I was only 8 years old.”

Before I can say anything else he grabs his jacket and walks right out that door and leaves me alone. I feel myself fall down too my knees and wonder why Seah is doing this. Seah is a jerk sure… about all the time, but he’s never yelled at me before. He’s never been a jerk or mean or anything around those lines too me…

I sigh as I stand up putting on my shoes and coat leaving for nowhere really just not wanting too be at home alone.

I let my feet take me where ever they want to go which seems to be the hospital that my sister has spent most of her life at.

I sigh as I walk through the doors and find Sora’s room.

The room is dark but I hear the sound of the machines beeping and a slight sound of snoring. I peak down the hall to see Sungjae and Ilhoon asleep on 2 chairs while my parents are half asleep in the loveseat bench.

I shake my head wondering if everyone is really alright sleeping like that waiting for the fragile sleeping beauty too wake up.

I sigh as I slowly open the door too my sister’s room to find her sleeping on the bed looking half dead.

I feel tears starting to form in my eyes as I hold them back along with my feelings of guilt and sadness.

I sit down at the chair at the side of the bed, “Hi… Sora… I don’t know why I’m here. Truthfully since I heard you had fainted and hadn’t woken up I’ve been worrying about you. While worrying about you I’ve started too think of my hatred towards you. It’s not that I hate you. It’s that I feel guilty for what I’ve done too you. I was always jealous of how you were treated like a princess while I was looked at like some kind of cow or pig. That’s why when mom and dad got the divorce everything changed. I started to hate you. The little princess that they both loved so much. So I lost all that weight and made it so I could be pretty. It was really hard, because I love too eat and I love too be well… just like you. We are alike in personalities but after you didn’t get the transplant I felt like it was my fault and I wanted you too hate me as much as I hate myself.”

I set my head on the bed as I take my sister’s hand trying to hold in all these years of pain and guilt flow through me.

As my tears seem too stop I stand up and walk out into the waiting room to check on my parents and the 2 boys.

I sigh when they are still asleep and sit down in my own chair and fall asleep.