LA Blue
Lost in Translation
"Kris, let me help you with the cooking..." Nana said as she moved next to Kris. She tilted her head, bend it until she's face to face with Kris. He only smiled, ignoring her.
"Kris...." she called him again.
"What?" he replied as he continued cooked the pasta and chopped the onion along with the beef. Kris has his eyes fixed on the chopping board, refused to look at Nana who wanted to do anything in the kitchen.
"I want to cook also... Let me do something here..." she said as she played with the tomatoes, pouted.
"Just sit calmly there and I'll serve you with the food" he said, stirred the pasta in the pan.
"And why would I do that? I can't stand just watching you... Well, I know that you are quiet a great chef, but I want to participate alsoooo" Nana pleaded. Again, Kris was just only smiling.
"Because this is my last gift for you before I let you go back to Seoul" he said as he put the knife on the choping board.
Kris stared at Nana, couldn't accept the fact that they would be separated again after being together the past two weeks. Nana didn't say anything; she stopped playing with the tomatoes, putting it back to the box and going to the couch. She the tv, checking any show randomly. Kris watched her back, but then continued cooking.
Last night after sending Nana to her hotel, Kris excitedly bought several ingredients on his way back home. He mastered in cooking simple food like pasta or sauted food as he used to live alone since in university, and would love to prepare some food for his beloved girlfriend. The day after tomorrow she will be back to Seoul and the last place she hadn't visited was his apartment.
They strolled around the city earlier in the morning where Kris showed around the city he lived in. He showed her all of the school he went in, elementary until senior high school. He also showed her his university, where he spent a lot of times in the library. He's such a dork ever since he started his college year and library would be his best gateway at night. Once they done with the school tour, he took her to his place.
As for Nana, this was such a huge step that they took when he decided to show her his true sides; his past, his memories. She was kind of surprised when he took her to his school, telling her the things he used to do in school, even telling her about the first time he confessed to a girl and got rejected because he's such a dork back then. She learned another sides of him, which made her feeling more awed than ever about him.
Kris was platting the pasta and fried some potatoes when he felt his waist was being hugged from the back. He could feel Nana's hand around his waist and her cheek that touched his back. Kris stopped everything he's doing, trying to look at his back but Nana hold him tighter.
"What is it now?" he said playfully. Nana didn't say anything and just stayed still. Kris smiled to himself, placing his hand over Nana's and slowly rubbing it. "It's nice to have you here..." he mumbled.
"This is my gift for you" she said as she kissed his back, untied her hands from his waist. She moved to the fridge, opening it and smiled as she found soda there. "I'm going to make some punch" she happily said as she took out the soda along with the guava juice, leaving Kris in dazed. Again, he felt that he's not willing to let her go again.
"I know you can cook, but I don't know you can cook this good... This is really great, Kris!" Nana said as she happily put another spoon of the ravioli that Kris made for her. He laughed as he saw her put a cute face chewing the pasta.
"That's why I said that you should just sit still..." he said with a satisfied sound. "I love the punch anyway" he saluted her with the punch glass.
When they're done with the food, Nana went to the fridge and took out the ice cream. Kris already made some waffles to eat along with the ice cream. The summer noon was filled with laughed as both of them laying on the carpeted floor, eating the ice cream.
" Hmm... What should we do after this?" she said as she looked around the apartment, playimg with the ice cream spoon.
"Should we do another tour for today?" he asked, raised one of his eyebrows.
Kris didn't wait for Nana to answer, he took her hand and brought her around the apartment. First he showed her the bathroom, a simple room with no bath tub. Kris said that there's reason why he didn't havethe bath tub there. But before answering it, he took her to his bed room.
"Very neat for a boy bed room..." Nana commented as she saw no flaw on Kris' room.
"Because I'm not a boy but a grown up man..."he responded, rolling his eyes while playfully pushed Nana aside.
"Such a boy attitude" she replied as she left him to the walking closet, where Kris put every item neatly and organized. The shirts, shoes, watches, coats, ties; everything has its own category. Nana formed an O with as she saw his closet.
"You're definitely a neat freak..." she said, looking at his clothes thoroughly.
"I don't know why I have this habit... But somehow I couldn't help myself looking at the mess. I mean, if everything's organized, it'd be much easier. Long sleeve shirt, short sleeve shirt, sleeveless shirt, colored, checkered, and then-"
Kris stopped talking as Nana's covered his lips with hers. She pulled him closer by taking his neck with her left arm, making him grew his eyes bigger in surprised. When Nana left his lips, he's still frozen, confused with what happened. Nana smiled shyly as she bit her lips, looking to the ground.
"Uh..." Kris didn't know what to respond, so he just said something short out of the blue.
"Your expression is so serious when you explained about the clothes, just like the angry bird face when I first saw you...But it's so cute, so... " Nana blurted out her reason about the kiss, looking at Kris. He only smiled silently, scratching the back of his head.
"You're forgiven as long as you're not pretending like you're drunk" Kris , memorizing their first kiss ever. Nana smacked his arm, laughing. "Come here" Kris took her hand and they went to the balcony, which Nana hasn't visited.
The balcony was decorated as mini garden with the big hot tub along with a large swing that's filled with cushion. Nana gasped as she saw the swing, running there.
"How cute!" she exclaimed, happily hugging the cushion. Kris followed her, taking a seat next to Nana.
"I knew you must like this..."
"And that tub is the exchange of the bath tub in the bathroom? Sneaky... You wish someone will see you from the other building while you're taking a bath?" Nana squinted her eyes as she said to him. He chuckled and shook his head.
"Just for fun..." he casually said. He suddenly pulled Nana closed to his chest, wrapping her with his long arm and stayed there for a while. Kris slowly ruffled Nana's wavy hair as he hummed one of his favorite jazz songs. "Tomorrow I will have to pick you up and send you to the airport... Can't you stay a little longer?" he said to her ear, more like whispering.
Nana didn't say anything. She's just sit there, curled herself closer to him. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. After a few in her hair by Kris, Nana slowly pulled away and looked at him. She looked closely the face of the man she loves.
"Kris..."
"Yes, Darling?"
Nana looked a bit hesitated befire she talked. "I think it'd be better if we end this now" she hung her words, taking another deep breath. "Let's stop seeing each other..."
Kris stopped humming. He looked for her eyes, found it almost teary. Kris frowned, but couldn't say anything for a while until Nana let out a sigh.
"What... What do you mean by that? Stop seeing each other? As in ...break up?"
She slowly nodded. "Yes..."
Kris showed a surprised face. He moved closer to her, trying to confirm whether he's mistakenly understand her words or not. "What is this all about? We're fine, right?"
"Who are we going to fool here? You and me are both tired, Kris. We can't stand this long distant relationship any longer. I knew it's hard for you to wake up earlier than usual just to have a chat with me or to call me good night, while I suffered insomnia because I will have to stay late in order to respond to your text and the gradually reduced time for video call we had lately... Who can stand it, huh?" Nana let herself revealed everything she had been thinking for the past three months.
She tried hard to think of the best solution for this relationship. The distance was too far and both had a little times to spend with each other. Sometimes she also had to deal with the time when Kris couldn't take her call or reply her text and she got furious as she didn't know what exactly happened to him. And it happened more than once for the past 5 months.
"I know that I couldn't have much time for you,but please understand that it was because of work and not because I forget you, Nana..."
"Kris, it didn't happen once or twice..." Nana stopped talking, preventing her tears to flow. "Can't you just admit that you're tired too?"
"We can work on this" Kris slowly touched Nana's hand. "What happened with the past 2 weeks? Are you planning this already? To treat me well and then broke up with me suddenly?"
"This is not a sudden decision Kris... I thought about this a lot of time and I-"
"You didn't tell me anything regarding this..." he cut her words. "Do you think I'm not serious with you? Do you think it's just another puppy love?"
Nana sighed again and then squeezed Kris' hands softly. "What do you think would be the best solution for us Kris? You know exactly we're tired with this relationship... I don't want to continue this tiring way of communications" she glanced at him, looking for his reactions but Kris still stayed stiff as he looked at her.
"Can you leave everything here in LA and go with me to Seoul?" she asked him softly.
Kris gulped, surprised with Nana's question. Both of them were just quietly looking at each other, Kris couldn't find his voice. He was not prepared with her question. After a minutes of silence, Nana cleared before continued speaking.
"You don't have to answer it, Kris..."
"Give me time" he said. "Give me time to settle everything here and I can go with-"
"Kris..." she stopped him talking. "Don't"
Kris looked at Nana in confused. Didn't she want me to come with her to Seoul?
"Because if you asked me the same question, I will answer no. I can't leave my life in Seoul just for the sake of you and I know, you too..." she touched his hand lightly. "I was never here anytime you need me to be by your side and you're never there when I need you. I love you. Everything with you was beautiful, but it felt like dream and I know I have to wake up. Face it, Kris. This is the reality" Nana ended her words, holding back the tears.
Kris blankly looked at Nana, still in disbelief of what he heard from her. She wanted everything to end. The relationship they had for the past 10 months now fall to the ground, breaking apart. He slowly lose his grip on Nana's hand.
"Maybe I mistakenly think that the past 10 months was love" he said as he left the balcony and went inside.
Nana stayed there for a while, wiping the tears that flow on her cheeks. She knew and understood that Kris was angry. She had just broke up with the greatest boyfriend ever in her life, but she had no other choice. They couldn't continue this relationship, because sooner or later, the distance would still be the problem. After she composed herself, Nana took her purse and without Kris knowing, left his apartment. She knew the next day she woke up, it wouldn't be easy to leave everything in LA, including Kris.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nana rechecked all of her luggage and shopping bags before leaving the hotel room. She fixed her short dress and slipped to her sandals. Once everything was settled, she opened the door to go for the airport. When she opened the door while dragging her suitcases, a big hand too over the luggage. Nana was slightly surprise to see Kris there, in front of the door.
"Is this all?" he asked, more like mumble. She nodded slowly, watching Kris skillfully placed the suitcases so it'd be easier to take. Nana left with the shopping bags on her hands, following Kris who walked first to the elevator. They're still not talking anything besides "Do you get your breakfast?" by Kris.
To avoid the awkward situation, Kris the radio in his car. They're barely talking, it wasn't Nana's will, but Kris'. She spotted a tired expression on his face, he didn't seem as fresh as usual. His stiff expression was clearly shown as he drove in silent.
"You don't have to do this actually, Kris" she said as they getting near to the airport.
"And made me look like the worst boyfriend to let you go by yourself?" he responded coldly.
"Thank you for sending me here" she softly said. They were in silent again, until they arrived and walked to the airport.
Before she got in to the boarding room, she bought coffee for him. Kris hold her hand, intertwined his fingers with hers as they sat next to each other. Nana didn't say anything or responded to his hand held, she just looked at him in silence.
"I'm sorry yesterday I left without saying anything to you, Kris..." She spoked, looking to the ground.
"I'm sorry for leaving you so sudden like yesterday..." he replied. "So childish..." he scoffed to himself.
Nana was about to say to him about their current status, but she held it. She wanted to savor her last moment with him in a graceful way. She had no right anymore to hold his hands or kiss him, even when she wanted to; so she enjoyed his fingers in her hands, which was perfectly fitted with her fingers.
The boarding information was heard and both realized they're in the last minutes of their togetherness. Nana stood up, with Kris following as he still held her hands.
"It's time for me to go..." she said, trying to smile but somehow it didn't seem like it.
"I thought a lot about your words yesterday..." he stopped talking, looking at her eyes. She looked back at him with the same expression, waiting. "I.... Uh... I let you go..."
Nana kept looking at Kris, he was looking down at her. "Kris..."
"I'm sorry I never know that you suffered a lot these past 10 months..."
"That's not what I mean, Kris.... I don't want you to feel like that... It's just..." Nana stopped talking as she felt her heart pounded hard, feeling hurt just by seeing Kris expression.
"I love you, Im Jinah..." Kris said as he pulled her for a hug, caressed her back and kissed her ears. Nana hugged his neck and tiptoed to kiss his cheeks.
"I love you too, Kris..." she whispered.
They pulled away from each other and for the last time, smiling.
"I must be crazy to let you go like this..." he said, rubbed the corner of his eyes.
"Take care..."
"You too..."
And by that, Nana went to the gate while Kris watched her until he couldn't saw her anymore. He sighed deeply, last night was a hard night for him. He barely sleep and couldn't think straight. His heart didn't want to let Nana go, he loved her that much. She's part of him that he treasured the most.
When Kris came home from the airport, he locked himself in the apartment; turning everything off including his phone. He sat on the couch and pulled his knee closer to hischest. He's being vulnerable, he acted in front of her as if nothing bothered but Kris actually dying inside. He fell asleep hugging the cushion on the couch, wishing that when he woke up, the past 24 hours was just a dream.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Where are you going on the Christmas and New Year holiday, huh?" Mir asked Nana as he sat in her desk, watching her cleaned up her table. Winter was approaching and Christmas was about to come. Mir and Nana agreed to spend the time together in the evening, looking for the Christmas present together.
"Europe... You?" Nana replied as she typed several emails before closing her laptop.
"Just Japan... I got a new niece... So my family will go there to visit my sister"
"Uh it's fun to have a lot of family member. Mine is filled only with my mom and dad and that's all" she ranted.
Nana accidentally clicked on the communicator and somehow she found Kris' name there. She felt her heart beated faster just by looking at his name.
He's online now? What time is it now there? Was he okay? Should I greet him?
Nana thought a lot before she decided to click on his name. She opened a new tab to chat with him, but before she even type an alphabet to him, he's off. Nana was taken aback and stayed still.
Maybe he's just online for a while...or just checking on email so the communicator is automatically ..or..
"Nana? Hello? Are you listening to me?" Mir waved his hands in front of Nana's face who seemed lost.
"Hmm?" she blankly looked at him.
"Let's go! Aren't you heard that I already asked you to go out now?" Mir asked her.
"Oh... Sorry, something caught my attention. Go now?"
Mir and Nana then went out from the office, heading to the department store to shop. She quickly shook her head and smiled towards Mir. She refused to think more about Kris as he might as well having his own business. It's just... After they broke up, they only kept in touch for a month. Nana hasn't heard about him again since the last period of summer. She shook her head once again, new year was about to come. Maybe she need to give her best shot for the upcoming year.
And they stopped talking.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I got a mixed feeling when I wrote this.
nyaw.
Comments