Chapter 8

“Have you called Donghae yet?” Siwon asks out of nowhere.

Yep, he’s onto me. “No, not yet.” Don’t be a chicken, Hyukjae! “ But I should”

“Well, I’m not going away while all that’s going on. I want to be here” he says, sternly

“Yeah, I know” He said that every single time we talk about Donghae. And I kind of getting used to it already.

    We are sitting out on the terrace and just have finished a dinner of pork cooked in cider. I’m trying to make it up to Siwon through his stomach, but I’ve no compliments for the chef. Isn’t it pathetic? I have to make my own efforts to talk with my boyfriend. Ever since we went back from the airport, Siwon doesn’t really spoke to me, only sometimes. And that sometimes, only included Donghae in it, like now. I sigh. Just bear with it, Hyukjae!

Taking a deep breath, I say “I guess I’d better call him now”

“I guess you’d better” he says

“You don’t want to ring him?” I ask hesitantly. I’ve been wondering this for so many times. Siwon looks at me like I’m mad. “No?” I double-check

     “What do you think?” he snaps

     “I just thought . . . . . well, he’s your friend”

     “Was” he corrects me. “There’s no way in hell we’re getting past this one”

I look down, disheartened. I could, but hope. “I’ll call him then?”

“Yep” he replies

I march into the house straight to the room and search for my cell phone. The scratches are still there, I don’t even bother to take it to the repairs. It’s not like I care, right?

I dial Donghae’s number. My hands begin to shake. He doesn’t answer and it goes straight to the voicemail. I’m dithering about whether or not to leave a message when my phone beeps to let me know there’s another call coming in. I look at the screen to see that Donghae’s calling me back.

     “Hello?” I say.

      “What’s the plan?” he cuts straight to the chase. I guess he’s busy after all. “When am I going to meet the boy?”

     “His name is Aiden” I say tersely. “How soon can you get here?”

     “Sunday?”

That’s two days away.

“Okay” I say

“I’ll get Dena to contact you with the details” he says, but that irritates me to the core. His PA?

“Don’t palm me off onto your PA, Donghae!”I say crossly. “You’ll contact me yourself with the details!”

     “Ooh, tetchy” he says annoyingly and I could detect a hint of amusement beneath his tone. But I don’t think it’s funny!

“I mean it, Donghae!” I add.

“Okay NutHyukie! I’ll text you later with the details” he laughs.

“Fine!” I say, but he already hung up. Damn! He’s irritating like that!

I walk down the stairs and I saw Siwon leaning up against one of the countertops in the kitchen. His face is expressionless.

     “He’s coming on Sunday” I tell him nervously.

     “Great.”  Sarcasm.  Obviously.

     “Are you going to be alright with this? You don’t have to do this, I can -”

     “What? Are you trying to get rid of me? You want your time alone with that bastard?” he asks

“What? No! That’s not what I mean!” Here we go again, the never ending fights about Donghae. “I’m just asking will you be okay with this?” Stay calm, Hyukjae! Don’t lose your patience. He’s just piss off.

     “Oh, I’m going to be dandy!” he says, false merrily.

Donghae calls in that Saturday night when I was in Aiden’s room. Siwon was out with his friends. I was quite relieved about that since my phone was ringing loudly in the bedroom. Siwon would suspect anything, if he was there.

Donghae’s PA books him into a chateau about an hour’s drive away; he’s planning on staying in Seoul for four days. He comes to the house on Sunday afternoon on the same white Bugatti as before. Was it less than a fortnight ago that he was last here?  It feels like an age.

     Siwon has barely left Aiden’s side. At all. I mean, I, myself find it strange. He never really cares about us since I told him about that.  Maybe it’s because if Donghae coming?

     Siwon  is with Aiden in the pool when Donghae arrives. I’m on the terrace waiting. Again, I hear his Bugatti engine slowing down, and this time he zooms around the corner and straight up to our driveway. I get up and lean over the wall when he struggles on what he’s doing inside the car. When he’s out of his car, I can’t help but to stare. Keep your guts down, Hyukjae! He’s wearing just his usual simple outfit, the black tight shirt and still squeeze in those perfect tight jeans, but I can’t really say anything about his appearance, since I’m technically attached to him, in anything he’s wearing. And I hate myself for that. But this is Lee Donghae, perfect in everything he does, the father of my child.

     “You’re alright, Hyukjae?” he says, locking his Bugatti.

     “Ooh, yes. Yes, I’m alright” I smile. That’s kind of embarrassing.

     “Where’s Siwon?” he asks.

     “He’s in the pool with Aiden.”

He doesn’t attempt to hide his surprise. “He hasn’t gone out?”

“No, he says he wanted to be here. Come inside” I motion towards the door, leading the way and he follows from behind.

I know that Siwon will have heard Donghae arrive, but he’s making no attempt to bring Aiden to us. He’ll make us go to him, and who could blame him? I sigh.

     “Have you spoken to Siwon yet?” I ask, even though I’m pretty sure I know the answer.

     “No” he says.

     “Why not?”

     “What do you mean why not?” he frowns. “I don’t think he wants to talk to me, do you?”

     I shrug, faking nonchalance. “I don’t suppose you want to talk to him either, but it’s not about want, it’s about should. Have you even considered apologising?”

He snorts. “ ‘Sorry’ ain’t gonna cut it”

     “ We’re not talking about the time you shagged his girlfriend – the other time” I correct myself, because he had with one of Siwon’s past girlfriend years ago, way before I came along. “ You didn’t say sorry then, either, and it all blew over eventually. But not this time, Donghae. This time, he deserves to hear it, even if he never wants to speak to you again”

     He regards me curiously. “I didn’t think he’d forgive you”

     “Neither did I.” I say honestly. “I don’t think he’d forgive me just yet”

I then hear Aiden squealing hysterically. Donghae looks at me quickly.

     “Is that him?”

     “Yes”

     He shifts from foot to foot.

     “You’re nervous” I say, oddly fascinated by the realisation.

He shrugs but doesn’t answer. His eyes stick outside, at the pool. I let out a small smile.

     “Come on”

I lead the way out onto the terrace and down the steps, turning right towards the pool. Donghae’s tailing behind. I can see excitement in his eyes.

     I push the gate open and the wood screeching loudly across the stone. We see Siwon is drying Aiden off at the poolside with a blue and white striped towel. He glares at Donghae before turning his attention back to Aiden. My little brunette, brown eyes boy glances at his biological father and then looks at me and grins a toothy grin.

     “Did you have fun in the pool?” I ask him brightly, intensely aware of Donghae’s presence beside me.

     Aiden pulls away from Siwon and stands, wobbling on the spot, with his arms opened out to me. I whisk him up and give him a cuddle. I can feel the dampness of his swimming trunks seeping through my shirt, but I don’t really mind.

     Siwon stands up and drops the towel onto a sunlounger.  I know that he’s struggling to remain calm. If looks could kill, Donghae would be on the coroner right about now.

     Aiden presses his cold, wet nose to mine and I can’t help but smile, despite the tension surrounding us. Aiden the turns and looks intently at Donghae.

     I look at Donghae, he’s staring at Aiden with a strange expression on his face. I don’t know how to describe it. A sort of awe, admiration and awkwardness all rolled into one. He can’t take his eyes off him.

     Aiden squeals and held out his hand to Donghae. I’m quite surprise. He isn’t usually like that with strangers. I consider Donghae a stranger to him since they haven’t met each other, until now. He keeps wiggling out of my reach, so I put him down, and he wobblingly walk towards Donghae. Donghae comes closer and crouch down, in front of Aiden. He held his hand out.

    Aiden then touches his hand and giggling. It’s a nice moment to remember. My son and his biological father finally meet. I crouch down as well, smiling.

     “Aiden, this is Donghae” I introduce them for want of something else to say.

     “Hello” Donghae says quietly, and shakes Aiden’s hand lightly. Aiden just giggles and he smiles back.

     Can I squeal over this? My baby’s beautiful, giggling like that, but I can’t. I resist myself, what will Siwon say if he sees me like that. But then I hear he says, rather growls behind us.

“You’ve got a ing nerve.”

I spin around, and I see Siwon’s whole body is rigid, he’s breathing heavily. He’s close to losing it, I swear.

“Calm down” I urge nervously. “Shall we go inside?”

“No.” he says bitterly. “I like it out here” he sits on the end of the sun lounger and eyes Donghae up and down. I feel bad for Donghae, seriously.

     “Take a seat” I tell Donghae in a strained voice. Aiden comes to me immediately. I kiss his cheeks and pass him to Siwon. Aiden starts babbling and Siwon manages a half hearted smile at him.

     “How’s your hotel?” I ask Donghae, trying to make a small talk. I’m just so guilty now.

     “Yeah, it’s fine.” He replies, eyes still on my son.

     He’s distracted. I’ve seen him distracted before, but not like this. His distraction will always include the workaholic side of him. This is weird. It’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever seen. He’s not the cool, confident eagle businessman that everyone knows. Now, he’s just, a guy.

     He leans forward and rests his elbow on his knees, his head still turned towards Aiden.  Siwon gets to his feet abruptly, and take Aiden with him. He sits on the top step of the pool, with his back to us and Aiden on his lap. Donghae and I meet each other’s eyes and his lips turn down momentarily. He gives a small shrug, and I just smile apologetically.

     “Siwon, shall we go out somewhere?” I ask.  “Shall we go for a walk into Myeondong?” he doesn’t reply. I hear nothing from him. “Siwon?” I prompt.

     “I’m happy here” he says gruffly.

     “ Don’t you want to get your things done before going back to work?”

Slowly, determinedly, he turns around and gives me a look of such pure hatred that my blood runs cold.

     “ I. Don’t. ing. Think. So.”

     “Siwon . . .” I plead.

     Donghae interrupts us. “Maybe I should go”

     I turn to look at him, and I give him my most guiltiest face. Well, I pity him. I take a deep breath. “Yes” I agree. “That’s probably enough for today.”

     He gets to his feet.

     “I’ll see you out” I glance at Siwon, but he has his back to us, again. Neither he nor Donghae says anything as I lead the way out through the screeching pool gate.

     “I’m sorry about that” I say as Donghae push the remote and a beep sound is heard.

     He shakes his head, and smile to me. “Could have been worst.” He stops and stares ahead as though in a daze, then seem to snap out of it. “Can I come back tomorrow?” he asks.

     “Sure, of course” I offer him a small smile. “Hopefully it will be better. I’ll try to talk to Siwon toni-”

     “Don’t.” he interrupts. “It’s okay, I can handle it” he smiles.

     “ I still think it would help if you apologised.” I suggest.

     “See you tomorrow, Hyuk” he gives me a final look and went inside the car, ignites the engine and drives away.

I’m reluctant to go back inside, because I know the mood that will be waiting for me there, but I force myself to.

     “Are you okay?” I ask Siwon, once I’m at the pool, again.

     “Take Aiden” he says, getting up and handing my son to me. I look at him in surprise, but he doesn’t meet my eyes. I follow him back indoors, the sickness and dread kicking up a notch. He goes straight into the bedroom and angrily drags a T-shirt over his head.

     “Where are you going?” I ask, nervously.

     “ Out.”

     I follow him back down the corridor. He snatches the car keys from the ledge.

     “Siwon,” I say, disappointed. “Can’t we talk about this?”

     He doesn’t answer, he doesn’t even look at me, he just slams the door in my face as I stand there, holding my son.

     I feel like crying. But I hold it. Aiden touches my face and presses his nose there. I smile to him. Luckily, I still have Aiden. I love my son so much.

     Siwon doesn’t come home until eleven o’clock that night. I’m waiting for him on the sofa.

     “I thought you’d be asleep.” He mutters

     “I was waiting for you. I was worried”

     “I’m back now. Go to bed” he commands.

     “I’m so sorry Siwon. I know this must be hard for you”

     He snorts. “You haven’t got a ing clue” he says bitterly.

     “I’m sorry” I say again. I’m not even going to try to convince him I can imagine how he must feel at the moment from all of these blows I caused him. I get up and go to him. He glares at me as I put my hand on his arms, trying to get through to him.

     “I’ll do anything I can to make this easier” I say softly, hoping he would soften up, but he shrugs me off, his chest moving up and down aggressively with every breath.

     “Go to bed” he says warningly.

     I close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath and then I look at him and nod. “Okay.”

     I his arm one last time and find his bicep rigid with tension.

     “ Goodnight” I say. He doesn’t answer.

I make my way to the bedroom and lay down on the king sized bed. It feels empty, I can’t deny that. I wait for Siwon to come up but he never does. I sigh.

     ‘How are we going to get through this? I don’t see how we can.’

And I close my eyes as sleepiness claim me.

A/N: I'm sorry I'm late, it's just that I really have no time to even touch my laptop (literally it broke and I just pick it up from the repairs) I have lots of works to be done that I barely sleep, I feel like a moving panda seriously. And the fact that I got the ticket for GDA but life just won't be easy on me that I have matters to handle on that PARTICULAR day (15th&16th) doesn't help at all. I have all those hateful feeling that i just wanna cry out loud and run away *cries at the corner* But above all, ignore my unfortunate life and I hope this update doesn't dissapoint you. I try my best to get rid of Siwon, but *sigh* the time will come. He will eventually be kicked out soon. Comment me, who knows it'll make me feel better. ;;wwwww;;