Chapter 5

I thought I’m tired enough for the day. But then I wake up in the middle of the night. I feel groggy and my mind is a jumble of thoughts. I realise now that I’m really thirsty. I climb out the bed and carefully navigate the stairs and head to the kitchen. The house is dark.  I go to the fridge and reach for the jug filtered water. I sit down on the chair and pour the water into my glass. I quickly drink it. Ahh, refreshing.  I pour another glass of water, and I’m about to return the jug into the fridge when I notice the not so loud noise, coming from the living room. After closing the fridge I head to the living room.

“Donghae? Is that you?” I whisper. I can see the light on the TV’s LCD display that the sofa is empty. I hear the front door close gently and suddenly I’m face to face with Donghae.

“What the ?” he curses in a loud whisper. “You scared the living daylights out of me!”

“Shh!” I berate him

“Oh God” He’s still freaked out. I let out a smile. I love seeing him like that.

“Sorry. What are you doing up this time?”

“Body clocks buggered up” he says

“Do you want anything? A glass of water?”  I motion my glass

“No, it’s alright”

“Okay, goodnight then” I turn to go

“Wait, Hyukjae!” he calls me back

“What?”

“Stay and talk to me for a while”

I pause. My head tells me I should go back upstairs, back to my Siwon, but I find myself being pulled in the opposite direction, and trust me, I hate myself for this. I sit on the sofa, opposite of Donghae. Frankly speaking, I am nervous. Yes I really am nervous.

“What do you want to talk about?” I ask uneasily

He sighs. “I was just . . . . . thinking about you” he says carefully. “It’s been a long time”

I nod.

“Too long” he adds

“It’s been a while” I agree

 “You seem happy” he sounds sincere

“I am” I tell him. Most of the time.

He smiles sadly. I hope that he doesn’t feel offended, but most of the time, really, I am happy. I clear my throat.

“How’s everyone else?” I ask, try to catch things up, with all of our friends.

“Everyone’s good. I think” he replies me, gulping my water. I look at him. And he smiles.

“Sorry” Oh how could I get angry with such a cutie. Hold yourself, Hyuk!

“How’s Kim?”

“I knew you meant him” he says with a slight smile.

“He was a friend!” My voice rises. I don’t know why I sound defensive, but I really am close to Kim back when I was at Donghae’s mansion.

“Yeah, he’s still there. Still being drunk most of the nights”

Once, I was really stressed. Kim offered me some of his ‘drinks’ . Donghae saw and went bananas. He hated to think about anyone else corrupting me in any small way – I think he was actually jealous. That night he came to my room and into my bed . . . I shiver inadvertly.

“You never become a drinker since then”

“Of course not. I’m a mum anyway. It’s a filthy habit” I add with raised eyebrow

“Can’t argue with that” He smirks.

“You should quit” I say, being  kind of serious.

“There are a lot of things I should give up, NutHyukie, but I rarely do”

He stretches his arms over his head and smiles at me and it takes me a moment to realise he just called me NutHyukie, the term of affection he used for me.

I come to my senses with a start. “I’d better go to bed now. It’s late”

“Of course”

“Don’t get up” I tell him, but he’s already on his feet. He meets me by the door and leans against the door frame. I suddenly feel jittery inside.

“I’m glad you’re happy” he murmurs, looking straight into my eyes. It bores deep into my soul. My heart beats wildly again.

“You deserve it” He touches my arm, briefly, tenderly. I feel electricity running through it. I should stop this before it’s too late. Lost for words, I turn away and hurry up the stairs.

I wake up quite early this morning, preparing the breakfast and packing my things. I’m going back to our house, today. I feel some kind of mixed emotions, but I hold it. I can’t feel that way. I’m happy to go home, though I feel bad leaving Siwon and his dad’s alone. But I guess Siwon’s okay now.

I am still in the kitchen when Siwon and his dad turn up.

“Good morning dad” I greet him

“Morning Hyukjae” he smiles

“How’s your sleep?”

“Quite good”

“Good to hear that”

“Morning” An exhausted looking Donghae emerges at the doorway, and I just can resist myself to go to him. He looks quite awful.

“Hey, morning” Siwon says. “Have you been sleeping well?”

“I think I do” Donghae replies, and looks at me, I quickly avoid his eyes and turn away.

“Breakfast is on the way” Siwon says, pointing at my direction

“I think I better wash myself first” Donghae says and disappears in the hallway

Later I tell Siwon that I don’t want breakfast and go upstairs to pack my bags. I take my time. I then tidy up the room for Siwon, somehow I do feel sad now, leaving him alone.

Everyone is in the living room when I return downstairs. I go straight to Siwon.

“Ready?” he asks

“Yes” I reply

“Are your bags upstairs?”

I nod

“I’ll go and get them” He leaves the room and I try to find somewhere to turn my attention.

“Have you got any pics of your boy?” Donghae asks, so suddenly that my head starts to itch as though imaginary ants are crawling around under my thin layer of skin.

“Err, no” I quickly respond.

“Siwon doesn’t either” he says, rolling his eyes

My relief is temporary

“I do!” Siwon’s dad interrupts. I stare at him in horror as he reaches behind for one of the photo albums he’s been trawling through since we got here. Donghae takes the album and starts to flick through it

Siwon appears from the stairs with my luggages and stops by us at the living.

“What’ve you got there?” he asks perkily. “Aah, baby pics. Aiden” he says glancing over Donghae’s shoulders and smile.

“He’s a looker” Donghae says, grinning at Siwon, “Got your hair, mate”

Oh thank God Aiden is just a baby in those photos.

Siwon laughs. “He got Hyukjae’s now”

I find my voice and quickly stand up. “Come on, Siwon. We should go”

“Right you are” he says

“Haven’t you got the recent ones?” Donghae asks Siwon’s dad.

I tense up again, but he shakes his head. “No, but” Oh my God please dad, no! My heart beats real hard now. “I think there are some on Min’s computer”

“Don’t worry about it” Donghae says real quick, not wanting to set him off again, or reminds him of his just gone wife.

I move to say my goodbye to the family.

“Thank you, for everything” Siwon dad says, with tears in his eyes.

“It was the least I could do” I reply as tears start to fill mine

“I’ll see you out” Donghae says and I don’t argue. I feel awkward enough looking at him, let alone hugging or kissing or doing neither of those things in front of Siwon’s family.

                Siwon leads the way out to the front door and opens it. “I’ll put these in the boot” he says tactfully, hauling the bags over the threshold and down the front steps.

I look up at Donghae. “See ya”

He gives me a sad smile “Bye, Hyukjae”

At least he doesn’t call me NutHyukie again, but I kinda hope he will. I’ll miss him for sure. But I tell myself it’s for the best. I turn away

“Hey” he says with surprise. “Is this Min and Aiden?”

I whip around and there on the hallstand, is a close up photo of Min and Aiden. A real recent photo. Donghae picks it up. I want to scream ‘NO!’ but it’s too late.

                I hear the car boot slams. “All set” Siwon calls. I stare at Donghae in shock as he studies the picture and then everything turns to slow motion as his eyes meet mine. He looks stunned, like I’ve just punched him in the face. And if the similarity between him and Aiden isn’t already clear enough, the look on my face will have instantly confirmed his suspicions.

I flee down the steps and climb into the car. Siwon, being oblivious to this, starts the ignition. I look out of the window at Donghae, who’s still staring after me, and I silently beg him to keep quiet, to not say anything to Siwon when he gets back from the airport, and then I face ahead and try to still my beating heartbeat.

The 2 hours flight seems too long for me since my mind is fully occupied by Donghae and what could have happen back at Siwon dad’s mansion. At the terminal, I switch on my phone

‘Text me when you land’ – Siwon.

A/N : There! I suppose to update this last night, but the connection fails me, so today would be. Tell me what you think of this. And do comment please! I won't update if you're not commenting! A simple hye would be ok, hahaha, now i'm desperate. But seriously, i'll sulk if you're not! kkk