Once upon a time...

…there was once a girl who secretly made a wish to the moon. She just hoped that her life can be as happy, loving and carefree as other children. She just wished that her mum able to rearrange her working schedule just for a day to make some time for her, even a few hours will do, but till now, that little wish of hers can't be fulfill. Things started to change ever since her dad had passed away when she just started to learn how to walk and talk. A drunk man, who did not focus on the road while he was speeding on the highway and had caused a major car accident, which had taken away her precious dad’s life and soul, and there her dad went, open both of his arms wide and flew towards the embraced of God. Still, as she grows, even though she is just a young teenage girl, she truly understand that her dad's love towards his beloved daughter and wife will always remained unchanged. Even though he is not able to stay by their side to lend them their hair and shoulder whenever they need him, she secretly believed that her dad will looked after her and her mum from above by protecting the both of them as their secret guardian angel.

As for her mum who loved her husband dearly, she works hard, day and night, trying different and several ways to keep both of herself, and her mind busy, just to push away all those thoughts and memories about her one and only husband's death. Her mum tries her best, but she just could not handle the burden and pain when it comes to knowing the truth, so, instead of accepting it, she chose to run away from those pain and problems. The first weeks can be hard, tough and harsh for a little girl who aged four, since her mum always locked herself inside her room, sobbing and shouting. The sound of things transhing can be heard from the inside. She once tried to search for the keys to enter her mum's room, and once she stepped in, she just could not believed what both of her eyes looking into, the room her parents once shared, was a terrible mess.

'Did any intruders enter here without permission to mess up all omma and appa's things?' that little girl looked at her surroundings.

'Bad thieves!' she pouted as she walked further in a slow pace. Her baby feets then lead her towards her parents room.

Her eyes widen as she spotted her mum laid at the corner of the room, right beside her vanity table. Her mum just sat there, staying emotionless.

Boxes of tissues, sleeping pills, clothes, scribble papers and photos that reminds about her dad were all scattered around the room. It was a mess and a disaster. That sight which both of her eyes were looking into really frightened her especially when her mum chose to stay away from her as far as possible because her resembled reminds her about her husband, which is also the little girl's dad. Whenever she tried to approach her mum, she will just ended up receiving a glare from her mum. The thought of it just makes her upset.

'Omma hates me?'

'Why..'

'Am I a bad girl..'

'Appa. mianhae, I'm a bad girl to omma..'

'Appa, what should I do?'

'Appa, Rin miss you..'

She knew her mum is trying to act strong at the outside whenever it comes to facing the others, covering that sad and heartbroken heart of hers by plastering fake smiles all over her face. She is a great actress, because everyone thought she had got over it, but, sadly, she did not. At the inside of her mother, it's so small and fragile till her heart had scattered into millions of broken glasses. That small little girl started to notice whenever she walk towards her mum, her mum will definitely tried to stay away from her, because her features, the way she smile, the way she laugh, always remind her about her dead husband. But, that little girl was clueless, because she did not know why her mum is keeping a distance with her, she thought she had being a bad and naughty girl.

So, to ease away all the pain, her mum keeps herself busy, not even a day that she could rest and take a deep breath because all those thoughts about her husband which slowly formed a deep scar that caused her to breakdown is able to make her feels a hard stab that comes from the back and goes through her heart. Her distance with her mum started to grow apart as days went by, their current relationship is not as close and loving as before when her dad's life and soul had not been taken away. Her mum always came home late due to all the meetings and sometimes her mum is nowhere to be seen for a week, and the longest will be for a few months because she always volunteers herself to head to overseas for some errand that was assigned by her boss. Somehow, her mum just wanted to stay away from everything, including her daughter who resembles her dad.

Primary graduation ceremony, school prize giving ceremony and ...school report card day, her mum did not showed up, not even once and that made her felt depressed. She started to lose faith on her mum even though she tried persuading herself that her mum actually does love her and she is just too busy to show it but deep down, she knew her mum is just trying to stay away from her...

A call from her mum, just a call from her, that she willing to do anything to yearn for, but, her mum did not give in, and she did not even try to fulfill her daughter's one and only wish. Whenever she thinks about her mum, tears starts to dwell up and how she wishes her dad did not leave her behind to face all the ups and downs, all alone without a shoulder to lean on and to cry on. All the while, she always yearns for her mum's love and attention, but, sadly, it did not come true.

…and, that girl I’m currently talking about...? …it is actually me… Lee Haerin…

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before all of you continue moving on to the next chapter, i would like to apologize if the first chapter is extremely boring for all of you.

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Last updated : 11th of November 2012 ☮