On the way to the airport Daesung knew something was different about Vick. The man who always had something to say, or had something to yell at him about, just sat in the back seat looking out the window. Finally Daesung couldn’t take it anymore and asked, “Is everything ok?”

Vick didn’t respond so he asked again, “Are you ok?” Again no answer. Daesung was getting aggravated at the lack of response so when they pulled up to a red light, he turned around and got as close to Vick as he could.

“Listen I don’t know what happened in that studio after we left, but you are really starting to worry me. We have a press conference in Japan in less than 24 hours so you better pull yourself together and act like the Vick everyone knows.”

Vick was still looking out the window as he heard Daesung talking and when his manager finished, he gave a small half hearted smile. He took his sunglasses off and looked at him.

Daesung could only feel guilty once he looked at the face Vick showed him. The only other time he had seen him this troubled was about 5 years ago when Vick’s mother called him. She told him she didn’t want to be burdened by her son’s celebrity status. She just wanted to live a quiet life and to have no one bother her. 

It was the last time Vick and his mother talked.

The car behind him honked its horn and Daesung turned back, continued driving, as Vick continued to look out the window. After a few minutes he broke the silence and asked in a concerned voice, “What happened in there?”

They were pulling up to the airport when Vick replied, “I told him about my parents.” The car came to stop by the drop off. Before he could put the car into park, Vick got out of the car and started to get his bag from the trunk.

Daesung sat in the driver’s seat stunned until Vick came up to the outside window and tapped on the glass, breaking him out of his daze. Vick handed him his bag as he got out of the car and said, “I have a lot going on in my head right now so can we just keep the chatter to a minimum until we get to Japan. Please?”

Daesung clapped him on the shoulder and nodded. Vick took the lead walking toward the entrance and he followed right behind him. He noticed the slump in Vick’s shoulders, knowing full well what the weight of talking about his parents did to him. He could only pray that Vick would get back to normal by the time they got off the plane.

Going through the motions of typical airport travel went by in a daze. Vick could only think about the shoot and about Jiyong. Despite portraying every day to the public, he knew deep down that he was just a child. The only reason he started acting like that was to protect himself. Daesung always compared him to an abused dog. He hated how accurate the description actually was. The dog will always snap at others because it thinks everyone will hurt it, and only will select a few to trust. And as of right now, Daesung was the only person he trusted.

But for some reason, Jiyong was slowly breaking down the wall Vick had put up. And he couldn’t understand why.

They boarded the plane and Vick turned to Daesung saying, “I’m going to sleep on the way. Don’t wake me up unless the plane is crashing.”

Daesung said, “Sure thing.” Glad to hear a little sass from him.

Vick grabbed his neck pillow and started to get settled in for the flight. As he was dozing off his mind was spinning with thoughts of the young photographer.

Just before falling into his dream he heard the flight attendant say, “And thank you for flying with us. Enjoy your flight.”

The picture of Jiyong with shadows across his face in the studio was the image that guided him into his dreams…

It must have been because he had been talking about his past in the last couple hours, that he started dreaming about this. But what surprised him was that it wasn’t of his parents.

He found himself in the park next to one of the houses he lived in when he was younger. He knew exactly where he was the moment he saw that he was on the rustey yellow swing set. This playground was in the same town were he remembers his only childhood friend. He looked around at all the small details that had erased themselves over time, like the graffitied  green slide, or the broken first step that led up to the top of the jungle gym.

Then he glanced to the swing next to him and saw another boy swinging. The boy looked over to him with a big smile on his face and said, “Hyung you better hurry up! I’m gonna beat you to the sky!”

His memory kicked in and he let himself be in to relive it.

“As if you could ever beat me,” he exclaimed to the boy as he started pumping his legs to gain momentum.

They raced to see who could go higher until he decided to give up, jumping off the swing at its peak height. When he fell to the ground he rolled and ended up on his back looking to the bright blue sky. He heard the boy exclaim, “Haha I won!”  As he too jumped and landed a couple feet away from him. He rolled over onto his stomach to look at the younger boy who still smiling. The boy breathlessly said, “Hyung… you should… buy us ice cream… since you lost.”

His face fell into a pout at his comment and the boy bursted out laughing, which cause him to laugh along with him.

The dream jumped to the two of them sitting on top of the jungle gym eating ice cream and looking up at the setting sun together. He had finished his own when the boy shoved his in his face and said, “I don’t want the rest. You take it.” He kept moving it closer and closer to his face until he took it from him. Once the boy was rid of the ice cream he leaned over and grabbed his backpack, taking out his sketch pad and pencils.

He remembered that the boy would always find an opportunity to draw no matter where they went, and the thought of ice cream couldn’t even distract him. So he sat there the ice cream as he watched the boy start to draw the sunset in front of them. It always fascinated him at how good the boy was at drawing, despite being so young.

He went to ask the boy a question but when he tried to say his name, his throat closed up, preventing him from speaking. He tried again and again but nothing would come out of his mouth. He started to wave to get the boys attention but he was too focused on his drawing. Vick tried yelling and waving, but nothing was working, until he realized why.

He couldn’t remember the boy’s name. He himself or his younger version could not remember.

He started to panic and was getting a sick feeling in his stomach as he looked at the boy. Shadows from the setting sun danced across his face as he concentrated on his drawing. He felt a tickle in the back of his mind, triggering a memory that just out of his reach.

The boy had finished his drawing and looked over to him asking, “Hyung, how’s it look?”

The world around them started to get darker, and the boy looked at him with a quizzical face.

“Hyung?” The boys voice started sounding weird, distant. “Hyuung?”

He tried to reply as it got darker and darker, but still nothing would come out.

“Hyung? Seunghyun-ah?” The boys voice sounded like a distant echo. “Seunghyun-ah!”

The world was almost pitch black as he tried to get the boys attention with all that he had, but to no avail.

The boys voice was changing tone and started sounding… closer.

 “Seunghyu… Sueung….Seu..ick…Se..ick”

“Vick!” Daesung exclaimed, waking him from his dream.

He shot up to find him leaning over the seat in front of him.

“We’re here. Come on let’s get off.”

Vick looked outside the tiny window to find that they were indeed docked at the terminal.  He stood up to stretch, wiping the sleep from his eyes, when Daesung asked, “Did you have a bad dream? You kept tossing and turning in your seat.”

He blinked at his manger and gave him a blank face. He thought back to his dream and said, “I.. I...umm… I can’t remember.”

Daesung hopped out of his seat saying, “Oh well, let’s get moving.”

He stood still trying to remember the dream he just had.

“Come on! We need to meet up with the event coordinator soon,” said Daesung as he started walking off the plane.

Vick furrowed his brows because he knew there was something he needed to remember, he just couldn’t. He grabbed his bag and walked off the plane to join his manager. The entire time of walking through the airport he kept trying to think back to what he dreamt about. A couple times he almost ran into people, but before he could Daesung pulled him out of the way saying, “Pay attention, jeez!”

As he walked out the doors, he squinted at the setting sun and in that moment the dream came rushing back to him.

“Jiyong,” he whispered to himself.

Finally able to say the name he couldn’t in the dream.