Sorry for the long wait after that major cliff hanger. I didn't mean for you guys to have to wait that long, but you know... life just get in the way.

Anywho, here you go... Enjoy.

Jiyong heard footsteps coming up behind and before he could turn around, someone called out his name.

“Jiyong.”

His blood froze in his veins and his breath had left his lungs. He could feel his hands starting to shake and was starting to see black spot in the corner of his eyes. However he somehow found a way to turn around to face the man who had spoke.

“Hello Jiyong… It’s good to see you.” The man said quietly.

His throat closed up on him but his mind was racing.

Seunghyun. Seunghyun is standing right in front of me.

It was like the he was back in his nightmare. The world disappeared around him and he was standing under a spot light, except that in this nightmare Seunghyun didn't disappear, he was standing right in front of him waiting for him to say something.

All Jiyong was capable of, was staring at the man before him. He hadn’t seen Seunghyun in over three months and now they were face to face. He wasn't prepared for this. Mentally or physically. He started to feel light headed and could feel his heart beating out of his chest.

This is not happening. This is not happening. Was his mantra in his head and it was the only thought that he could come up with. He blinked his eyes a couple times hoping that he would wake up from this living nightmare any second.

“Jiyong?” Seunghyun repeated as he reached out to touch the younger man on the shoulder to get his attention.

“Don’t touch me.” Jiyong snapped, recoiling from the older man’s extended arm.

Seunghyun flinched back like he had just been physically slapped. If he was honest, it basically was a slap to the face, having someone who used to buckle at your slightest touch, suddenly treat you like you were diseased.

Seungri stood off to the side and watched as Jiyong paled, his breathing become erratic. Thinking that his boss was going to pass out, he quickly walked up and pulled him outside, away from Seunghyun and the rest of the crew. 

Jiyong didn’t resist being pulled away. He felt the hot summer air hit his skin and it was too much of a contrast from the chilled studio, so all he could was crouch down and close his eyes while he held his stomach.

“Whoa Jiyong! Are you alright?” the assistant asked.

“I-I think I’m g-gonna be sick.”

Seungri crouched down beside him and rubbed his back. “Look I know I should have told you-“

“You’re ing right you should have told me.” Jiyong hissed at him through clenched teeth, wishing for the nausea to go away.

“Daesung called me the other week and explained some things to me about Seunghyun and what was going on in his life.”

Jiyong ran his hands through his hair and scrunched his eyes tight before opening them. “Yeah you told me.” He slowly stood back up as the initial shock of the whole situation was dissipating.

“Yes, but I didn’t tell you everything,” Seungri continued.

Jiyong put his hand up to his heart to try and stop it from beating out of his chest. His hands were shaking and sweaty. “Obviously…” he said to Seungri but his eyes were pointed up to the clouds. Finally he brought his gaze down to his assistant and looked him straight in the eyes and spoke once he knew he had gained his voice back.

“What the did you think you were doing by not telling me about this?”

“I uh… I umm…” Seungri stuttered at Jiyong’s outburst.

Jiyong ran his hands through hair again as he fought back tears that threatened to escape his eyes. He was frustrated and freaking out.

“I haven’t seen him in three months Seungri! There’s a reason why!” He turned his back to the younger man, not wanting him to see him breakdown even more. “And now, all of sudden you shove him in my face without any warning-“ His voice cracked as he said the last word. Running his hand over his face to calm himself down, he took a deep breath and then confessed, “I can’t go back in there…”

Seungri stepped closer to Jiyong and grabbed his shoulder to turn him around. He reached up and took hold of his friends face, just so he would get the message he was about to say across to him.

“I know this is a huge shock right now, but I will not sit back and watch you walk out on your career. We are here to do a photo shoot for a paying client. I will drag you into that studio if I have to. I will explain everything at a later time but right now you need to be Kwon Jiyong. The best ing photographer in the business.”

Jiyong took in a sharp breath at the forwardness of his assistant. His mind was on overdrive, trying to think of what to do. “But… how can I take his picture if I can’t even look at him?” Jiyong asked in a barely there whisper.

Seungri lowered his hands to Jiyong’s shoulders as he saw the pain in his eyes and heard the heartache in his voice. “Can I ask something personal?”

Jiyong knitted his eyebrows together at the random question. “Y-yeah.”

“Do you love Seunghyun?”

Jiyong’s eyes widened in shock for the second time that day. “Seungri!”

The young man put up his hand to silence him. “Do. You. Still. Love. Him?”

Jiyong opened and closed his mouth several times trying to say something. Eventually he closed his eyes and took a deep breath and confessed, “Yes. Yes I do still love him.”

“Ok so go back in there, knowing that. Even if you might not have forgiven him for whatever reason. Know that you do still love him.” Jiyong looked up to Seungri. “I’m not saying that you have to get back together right here and now, but use this opportunity to break the ice and start talking again.”

“But I don’t even know if he still feels the same way. It’s been so long, and the way he ignored me back then-”

“Jiyong…” Seungri shook his shoulders trying to get him to focus again to what he was saying. “I wouldn’t have done all of this if I knew that his feelings have changed. I knew you would never have gotten the courage yourself to call him, so I just took matters into my own hands. Because I’m tired of seeing you being miserable. You need him. And he needs you. So… take a deep breath, collect your thoughts, and let’s go on back inside. There are people other than Seunghyun waiting for you in there.”

Jiyong took in everything that Seungri just told him. It was all true. Every single word. He was still in love with Seunghyun. He knew that he had never stopped loving him. Even though his head was still spinning from shock and the realization, he also knew that he had to pull himself together, not just for his sanity, but for Seungri’s as well.

He would go in there as a photographer. Only after the shoot was done would he let his mind start to think about anything else.

“Ok… lets go.”

The doors to the studio opened again and everyone stopped to look over at Jiyong and Seungri as they entered.

“Sorry everyone, let’s just get on with the shoot.” Jiyong said as he looked around the room. “Can I get the Model on set and in position?” he continued as he walked over to his equipment and started pulled out his camera and lens.

Seunghyun, who had watched Jiyong’s every move since the door opened, saw that the man did not once look his way. He knew coming here and doing this photo shoot was going to be hard… for both of them, but all he wanted to do was hold Jiyong in his arms and never let him out of his sight again. And his heart felt like it would break into a thousand pieces every time Jiyong avoided his eyes as they both walked onto the main part of the set. He could tell there was something different about the younger man, it was like he had switched off the Jiyong he knew and the man that walked on set was someone he had never seen before.

Jiyong stopped and looked to Seungri to see that he was in position. “Makeup on standby?” He saw an older woman raise her hand with a small makeup kit in it, Jiyong nodded at her. “Hair?” A man in his early 30’s raised a comb in the air, again Jiyong nodded.

Seunghyun had been standing in position waiting for instructions when finally Jiyong looked at him and walked over.

“Sorry about earlier,” he started in a hushed voice so only they could hear. “I didn’t know you were my model today and well…it was a huge shock. But, we are here to work, understand? I don’t want to talk-“  Seunghyun saw then, as soon as they locked eyes that the “new” man that he had just seen was only a mask. Even though it was distant, he saw a glimmer of the Jiyong he loved buried deep in the younger man’s eyes.

“Jiyong-” Seunghyun interjected, but Jiyong spoke over him.

“I don’t want to talk here.” He emphasized. “But just know that I…” He took a deep breath. “I do want to talk.”

Seunghyun gave a small smile to show his gratitude and understanding and eagerly asked, “Tonight?”

Jiyong shook his head slightly. “Let’s worry about the when and where after this. For now, we need to get started.”  

It was then that Seunghyun finally placed the “new” Jiyong persona. He had never really experienced it first hand, only watched from afar a couple times he visited Jiyong while he was doing other shoots, but he knew that Jiyong was in full photographer mode. So without delaying things any further he asked, “Where shall I stand?”

If Jiyong had said that the photo shoot was going great, everything was perfect, things weren’t awkward at all and so on… well then he would be a huge ing liar. Nothing was working, the photos weren’t coming out right and the more frustrated he got with himself, he could tell Seunghyun was equally getting frustrated.

The entire set was on edge as Jiyong huffed and puffed while he gave directions to Seunghyun. The staff could tell that something was off even before the shooting, and as an hour progressed they could all seeing that it was going nowhere fast.

Jiyong clicked away as he moved around Seunghyun, who changed his position every couple seconds but nothing was working. People were becoming restless, whispering under their breath to one another, and as much as Jiyong tried to ignore it all… he couldn’t. Without warning he let the arm that held his camera fall to his side as he turned and yelled, “Everyone out. The set is officially closed.” He looked to Seungri who asked, “Are you sure?”

“Yes. Now get everyone out so I can concentrate.”

Everyone looked around at each other not understanding what was happening when all of a sudden a deep voice spoke up behind Jiyong.

“He said everyone out! MOVE!”

Jiyong turned to see that it was Seunghyun who had spoken. The older man looked down and tried to tell Jiyong he knew what was going on without him having to say it.

“Thanks…”

“No problem.”

They waited for as the last person to leave and as Jiyong heard the door shut he suddenly realized that in kicking everyone out, him and Seunghyun would be alone. Panic started to swell up inside him because he knew that couldn’t do photo shoots with things distracting him or the model, so that’s why he did a one session every now and then, but how was he going to finish when the biggest distraction was standing right next to him, waiting for him to say something.

After a few awkward seconds of silence Seunghyun decided to speak up. “So… isn’t this the part where you sit me down and ask questions?”

“What?” Jiyong was startled by the sudden break in silence that he spoke without thinking.

“This is one of your one sessions right?” Jiyong slowly nodded. “We did this when we first met, remember?” He said as he took a step closer to Jiyong.

Seunghyun’s words were like a punch to the gut. That nauseous feeling came back tenfold as all the memories of their first meeting came rushing back to him. How he thought Seunghyun was an , but discovered that he was a very hurt and lonely man. It was the meeting that had changed their lives forever.

Jiyong quickly stepped back and brought his camera up to distract him from the images that replayed in his head of everything they had been through together. “Yeah I remember… but let’s just get on with this shoot.”

Seunghyun felt a piece of his heart chip away at the coldness of the statement. As soon as he heard Jiyong tell everyone to get out, he knew what was happening, and he had hoped it would be a good time to talk to Jiyong finally, without anyone listening to them. But the way the younger man was acting, it seemed like this was strictly business. Dejected, Seunghyun just stood and waited for the photographer to tell him what to do.

Even though there was still awkwardness between them, the shoot seemed to be going better… at least from Seunghyun’s perspective. Jiyong was sighing less and his body was less tense than before. But every time Seunghyun tried to start a conversation, Jiyong would just give one word answers. After another 15 minutes of one sided conversations, Seunghyun dropped his arms from the pose he was supposed to be in and asked, “Why aren’t you talking to me?”

Jiyong fiddled with his camera. “I am talking to you.”

“You’re talking at me not with me.”

“Seunghyun please not now…”

“No Jiyong I can’t take it anymore. Just tell me something about your life. What’ve you been doing? Where have you been?”

“Seunghyun I don’t want to talk about this now. I just want to do this photo shoot and be done with it.”

“And then what? Are we going to talk then? Or are you going to disappear again?” Anger filled him up.

Jiyong’s head shot up and he glared at him. “Are you sure you really want to do this?” he asked with venom in is voice.

Seunghyun gulped and the sudden change in temper of the younger man. He knew that this would be a very touchy subject for both of them but it almost sounded like Jiyong had spent his time coming to hate him, and all of a sudden he didn’t know if he was ready to hear it or not.

When Seunghyun didn’t say anything, Jiyong continued. “You were the one who said that you didn’t want to see me again. So I made it easier for both of us. I went to America to get away from everything.”

“Jiyong. I never said that I didn’t want to see you again.”

“Yes you did! And it felt like my heart was being torn or of my body!” He yelled at Seunghyun as he set his camera down on a nearby table. “After all that we went through how could say that to me? Especially with everything that was going on?”

“Jiyong, you never gave me a chance to explain.”

“Explain what? How I was just a dirty little secret to you?”

“YOU WERE NEVER MY DIRTY SECRECT!” Seunghyun shouted at the top of his lungs. “It was me. I was the one who was dirty. I was dirty because I kept my real self hidden. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror! So how was I supposed to face you?”

A tear escaped the corner of Seunghyun’s eye and he turned away from Jiyong. He wasn’t going to let his emotions get the best of him. Not after he worked so hard and had come so far in the last three months.

“What are you saying?” Jiyong now gave Seunghyun his undivided attention after hearing the older man scream out. His heart was racing and he now wanted to know what was on the other man’s mind.

Seunghyun sat down on the chair that was part of the set as he started his explanation.

“I… I needed time to become… not someone who I was proud of, but to become someone you were proud of.” He paused knowing that he needed to choose his words carefully.

“When we were together, you gave me confidence. And for all that time, I felt horrible that I couldn’t show you off to the world. I felt like a hypocrite… and when you asked if I was ashamed of you, I was so taken aback because I’ve always had this fear that you’ve been ashamed of me. Because I wasn’t out yet.”

Jiyong walked over to the older man. “Seunghyun, I’d never be asha-“ 

“I was scared.” Seunghyun cut him off, but kept his head down as he spoke, playing with the fabric of the chair. He just wanted to get everything that he’s kept inside over the last couple months, out.

“When everything happened… I quickly found out how much of a sad, scared little boy I was. My entire world got ripped open for the whole world to see and I couldn’t handle it. You know I’ve always been a private person but when your biggest secret is said for everyone to hear it, without your consent…it was like my world was ending… and I didn’t want you to have to go through that darkness with me.”

Jiyong kneeled down beside Seunghyun and saw that there were tear drops on the back of his hand. He brought his own up and took the older man’s hand in his, wiping away the droplets. Seunghyun smiled at the gestures and brought his face up to look at Jiyong.

“During these months I’ve spent so much time thinking about you… and us…but most of all I spent time thinking about how I needed to change. When we were together, you were confident in who you are… but I wasn’t. I’ve been hiding behind the persona of Vick all these years, but then when I was with you, I rediscovered who I was deep down.

I’m the person I am today because of you. You helped me discover who I am. You’ve help me see how I can love and be kind, and just be a better person. And that’s all I wanted.” He felt Jiyong squeeze his hand, letting him know that he understood.

“But what I needed to do was figure out how to be that person one my own. You started me on the right path, but I knew deep down that if I wanted to change for good I would have figure things out by myself.  When we talked that night I was trying to tell you this, but you wouldn’t let me explain. And then a few days later I tried to call you but you wouldn’t answer your phone. So then I went over to you studio and I saw someone putting up a sign saying that you were away on business for an unknown amount of time… And all I could think of was back when we were kids. You had left with no word. Just like that and then you did it again. I didn’t know what to do…

After a few days Daesung said that we had some jobs we could do in Japan. I was so taken aback that someone still wanted to work with me after everything, but I knew that I had to take it. So we came he and over time I was starting to put myself together. People had heard about the scandal, but they didn’t really care that much. As far as they knew, I was a famous actor and I was willing to model and make them money. This is how I was able get past everything, and become confident with who I am. And that all I’ve wanted was to be confident and ok with who I was, because it would be only then that I would be able to stand next to you and see you look at me with love and affection and be someone who was worthy of standing by your side.”

When Seunghyun looked up after he had finished, he saw that it was Jiyong was the one who was crying now. He quickly pulled the man into his arms, but that only seemed to make him cry more.

Jiyong buried his head in Seunghyun’s neck and in between sobs he kept repeating “You stupid man… you stupid, stupid man…”

It took a couple minutes for Jiyong to calm down, but when he did Seunghyun pulled him away and said, “You’ve always shone brighter than anyone I’ve known.” He wiped a tear from Jiyong’s cheek. “You just have that kind of personality that draws people to you. But I couldn’t let my darkness corrupt you. Because if it had… then I wouldn’t have been able to find my way out.”

Seunghyun brought his thumb up and pressed Jiyong’s bottom lip as he spoke, “Your smile… your laugh…your bright shining eyes. All this time you have been the light, the glimmer of hope, that was there in the back of my mind, telling me I could make it through. Because nothing would be worse for me if I didn’t have you in my life. A life without you is one that I could never live.”

Another tear escape Seunghyun’s eye and it was Jiyong’s turn to wipe it away. They looked into each other’s watery eyes as Jiyong said, “These past months have been hell…”

Seunghyun chuckled at the comment and wiped his runny nose, as the tension broke.

“But I realized too…” Jiyong continued. “A life without you is one that I could never live.”

Seunghyun couldn’t wait any longer, they had been apart for three months and the man that he loved was in his arms, millimeters away from him. So he closed the distance between them and pressed his lips against Jiyong’s.

It was almost like they had never been apart, their bodies reacting to each other automatically, as lips slid against each other and hands clutched one another. Once they had both recommitted the feeling of each others lips to memory again, Seunghyun pulled away.

“So does this mean that we’re bac-“

Jiyong shut him up with another kiss, this time his tongue playing with the seam of the older man’s mouth. Seunghyun opened willingly and savored the taste of Jiyong once again. He let out a small whine when he felt Jiyong pull away.

“Do you really have to ask?” The younger man questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Seunghyun laughed. “Not really… but I just wanted to make sure before I do something…”

“And wha-“

It was Seunghyun’s turn to shut him up as he peppered kisses all over the Jiyong’s face, saying “I love you” in between each one. Jiyong had a sudden flash back to when they were both in Jeju and he had done the same thing.

He remembered all that they had said that day and it was only now that he realized that Seunghyun had kept his word.

“And know, that no matter what happens in the future, remember that I will always love you.”

This chapter means a lot to me, I've had this planned from the beginning, that what brought them together in the frist place, would bring them together again. A photoshoot. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it, because wow... that was alot of pain that I had to go through to put myself in Seunghyun's shoes. So yeah lots of emotions all around but it was definatly necessary.

But don't worry... the story is not over yet.