The first day of high school, yep, it’s pretty damn scary. Key is now a freshman.  Even though many years had passed, he still thought about his lover, Jonghyun. Remember how he promised to write a letter to Jonghyun the first thing he comes home? Well, it’s something he’ll never forget. It’s something that he’ll hate himself forever for….

*Flashback

“Umma! Appa! I’m going to write a letter to Jonghyun hyung!” Lil Key yelled.

“Do whatever you want! I don’t care!” His mom yelled back.

Key quickly got out a white piece of paper and got his pencil. He laid on the floor with his belly facing the ground. He wrote a nice, short letter for his lover.

Key lifted up his pencil and fold it into a hot dog style that his teacher taught him. Then, he put it in an envelope. He wrote down his new address and then it came to Jonghyun’s address. He realized that he forgot Jonghyun’s address. His eyes started tearing up.

What am I going to do now? How can I keep in touch with Jonghyun now? He knew it. He’d lost all hope. See? Something was going to separate us, and it’s my stupid brain!

He regretted it forever. He should’ve asked for him to write down his address but he couldn’t. He was just too lost in the moment after Jonghyun kissed him.

He was stupid. He didn’t even want to live anymore. There’s no choice but to move on.  Moving on is hard. Thinking about him just tears his heart apart. Little 4 year old Key, still young, but already knows what love feels like. It makes your chest feel heavy. When your lover is at your side, you feel tingly inside and you just can’t help it. You get sweaty when you talk to them and you look like a total idiot. Jonghyun still thinks he’s beautiful even if he had cancer. Nothing can replace love.

Key had to face the worst thing of all, high school. He is a loner in school. Well, not exactly a loner but he had a nice friend named Taemin.  Taemin was the only person who convinced him not to suicide. He was the only one that gave him hope, and the person who made him happy. Not like in a relationship way, but like a best friend way.

Everyday Key would go to Taemin’s house to study. Key’s parents aren’t really home until about 8. He would talk about Jonghyun all the time and Taemin would listen and nod. Taemin is just like the guy he needed. Like I said, not in a relationship way but like best buds who will be by each other at all times.

“Do we have to go to school?” Key wrinkled his forehead.

“Of course we do. Come on, it’s like 4 years. We can go through that.” Taemin said encouraging Key like a good friend.

“Aish! Fine, let’s go to hell.”

Taemin rolled his eyes, “It’s not hell. You’ll definitely thank highschool later on.”

“Whatever.” Key murmured.

In the hallways, there were jocks pushing each other around and laughing like stupid idiots. There were girls who  would just stare at the jocks as if they wanted bacon or donuts or something. There were also nerds who would walk around the hall with a textbook in the hand and they seem to know their way pretty well without looking up.

 And, there are…..average guys. Average guys who are just….normal. They don’t get made fun of, they don’t get bullied, they get average grades, and of course, they are not nerds. They are those kind of guys who are not jocks but guys who just mind their own business. Although, they might have a secret crush on someone but act like they don’t care. Key and Taemin are definitely those guys who are called, the average guys.

“Why are the jocks so huge.” Key asked.

“I don’t know.  Maybe they play sports or something. Or maybe, they had a growth spurt.” Taemin pointed out.

Taemin and Key are only up to one of the jock’s shoulder.

“Why don’t you play a sport?” Taemin asked.

“Uh, duh? I water-ski.” Key said.

“But you do that only if you go to the lake with your family.”

“Pfff! Which I go every month.”

“But that’s not a lot of exercise.”

“How about shopping?”

“I guess that counts if you walk around and stuff.”

“I’ll count that as a sport.”

Taemin shrugged, “Suit yourself.”

Then both of them saw a guy wrapping his arm around the girl’s shoulder. Key was thinking of Jonghyun now. I mean, how nice would it be for Key to show off his super-duper handsome boyfriend? Key thought about how Jonghyun would look like now. Pretty handsome right? He probably has a girlfriend by now, which made Key even sadder. Then a guy just ran down the hall bumping every single person without saying excuse me.

“YAH! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE GOING!” Key yelled.

And the freak did not turn around to apologize.

“Aish! What’s wrong with that guy?” Taemin asked.

“Probably a newbie, that’s why he’s running I think.”

“He looks a little bit older than us though.”

“Then he must be a 10^th grader newbie.”

Taemin laughed, “He’s probably from a different place I think.”

“I know right?”

“Okay, I have to go hyung.”

“Okay, see ya.” Key said.

The class Key has now is math. Key is really good at math. The principal look at his grades in the past and recommends him to move up to the 10^th grade math level. Key doesn’t really care and says yes. It’s going to be pretty awkward for him since he’s the youngest one in the class, but he’ll just have to go through it for an hour and forty-five minutes.

Key settled down in seat near the window. He likes to study while looking outside because it just lets him concentrate more.

Just then, the freak from before ran into the classroom and settled down next to Key.

“You better watch where you’re going.” Key said.

“Eh?”

“When you bump into somebody, you say excuse me. And you bumped into me without saying that.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.” The freak smiled brightly.

Then it hit him. His smile was exactly the same as Jonghyun’s.  Tears formed in his eyes.

“Why are you crying?” The freak said nice, and gentle voice.

Again, it’s the same voice. It’s the same but with Jonghyun already went through puberty.

“Ah, it’s nothing.” Then Key wiped his eyes.

Why haven’t I moved on yet? It was 10 years ago. Forget about him….