STORY 3  :        NATURALLY

“Tiffany… she doesn’t want to see you.”

My shoulders dropped after my dad told me the news. I sighed and gave him a tired smile. He smiled back in apology.

“Its better to let her be. Wait until she’s ready to see you again.”

I nodded and stared at the floor with a sad smile. There’s nothing I could do but wait. There’s nothing I could do but to hope.

“What else can I do?” I asked stating the obvious.

A gentle tap on my shoulder made me look up again.

“Be strong Tiffany. You’ll overcome this challenge. This happens to a lot of couples. Both you and Jessi will get through this. ” Dad assured me.

I smiled again… this time a hopeful one.

“I love Jessi dad…. I’m willing to wait.” I told him with teary eyes.

“Well… that’s good to hear. This is just a phase. Don’t lose hope.”

“I wont dad. Please give these fruits  and flowers to her. I had a hard time looking for these fruits that Jessi loves to eat lately… and these flowers.. she loves Star Gazers…”

Dad stared at me for a while then he held me by my shoulders. His grip was firm and his expression was serious yet caring.

“Listen to me carefully…” He looked at me straight in the eye. I nodded in anticipation.

“Jessica…. Your wife… she still loves you. So please… don’t give up on her and understand her even she treats you like that.”

“I miss her so much…..  you know how much I love her.”

“I know honey… I know… and she loves you too.” Dad embraced me and it felt like I was his little girl again. In his warm embrace, I poured my emotions. I cried all my pain and frustrations in my father’s chest.

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Here I am again… silently watching her from afar…. The woman that I love with all my heart.. the woman that I placed on a pedestal and worshiped…

The same woman who ripped my heart… but is still the reason why my heart beats.

The sweetness in her voice, the warmth in her smile, the love in her embrace and the promise of eternity in her kisses….

Its gone…

Fade away…

 On how we end up like this.. I don’t know. Most of the time I ask myself what happened?.. what have I done? Is she tired of me? Am I not loving her enough?

I can’t understand her.

My heart….. is crying..

My heart… is bleeding..

But I have to be strong. I have to keep on going even it hurts so much. The love of my life doesn’t want to see me… she hates me.. even my scent.

I want to beside her…

I want to be with her…

But she kept on pushing  me away. Flying ceramic vases, dining utensils… and at some point… metal cooking wares come flying to greet me everytime I tried to go near her.

I sighed. Yeah..sigh. I’ve been sighing a lot this past few months starting when my beloved wife Jessica Jung – Hwang gave me a cold shoulder and then eventually refused to see me.

On how this happened… I do not know. Its just… when I woke up one day… Jessi isn’t the Jessi anymore. The woman is not the one I married and pledged my life and soul with.

But I won’t give up….

She’s mine and I’m her’s….

And I love her…. that’s what’s matters.

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“What are you doing here? How many times do I have to tell you that I don’t want to see your face! What part do you not understand?!”

She yelled when she saw me standing at the foot of our bed. She didn’t even bothered to get up.

I kept mum.

After a few words with my dad over a bottle of wine, I mustered strength again to receive flying objects that are about to be thrown at me.

I miss her so much and I would gladly suffer physically just for me to see her.

“Get out! I don’t to see your face! And what’s with that smell?! Go away!!!” She yelled again and throws a pillow. The pillow hit me straight in the face but I didn’t fazed or blinked.

I stared at her with longing. She stared back at me with anger and tears rolling in her flawless pinkish cheeks that I want to caress so bad.

“Get out.” She whispered and pointed the door.

I inhaled a lungful of air to prevent myself from crumbling down and crying like a kid. I have to be strong for both of us.

“Jessi…… I love you….” I said with a soft whisper then vanished from her sight. I could hear her wailing while after I got out of our room and closed the door.

I held my aching chest hoping to decrease the throbbing pain.

My tears started to fell. I’m deeply crushed with all the emotions… not my emotions.. but hers. I’m in pain.. but between the two of us… I know she’s suffering more.

Now… I understand her…

Now….. I could put her feelings on top priority…

Now… I could sleep peacefully… thinking that I will be with her no matter what.

All thanks to my dad… my dad that had been supportive to me through out this phase on mine’s and Jessi’s relationship as a married couple.

He said he’s been through all of this. He said that what’s happening to me right now happened to him and my Mom in the past.

It’s a good thing that I have someone that I could lean on at these hard times.. at times when the source of my strength became my weakness.

“It’s okay Honey….  pregnant women are naturally  like that. You’re mother was even worse than your wife. They couldn’t control their emotions because of hormone .And in your mom’s case… it even extended a month after your birth.” I remembered my dad told me.

I sat on Jessi’s rocking chair on the lanai. I cursed and ruffled my hair in frustration. My beloved wife is only 4 months pregnant so that means… my suffering and love making diet  is still a long way to go.

“DAMN YOU HORMONES!!! DAAAAMNNNN YOOOOUUUU!!!

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