STORY 11   AGAIN

 

 

 

I hate her.

 

That girl.

 

Jessica Jung.

 

.

 

She stole my boyfriend. He left me for her!

 

She will pay.

 

*

 

I sat on the edge of my bed. The bed where Jessica and I had a lot of times. I touched the bedsheet, run my fingers gently on it.

 

This is where I used Jessica..

 

This is where I played with her feelings to take my revenge on her for taking away the man that I loved.

 

But am wrong..

 

So wrong to blame her..

 

It wasn’t her fault..

 

It wasn’t his fault..

 

I am selfish..

 

I have to stop this. I have to end this now. I was wrong about Jessica. Totally wrong. I’m stupid. I’m pathetic.

 

I’m sorry...... Jessica..

 

I will stop messing with your feelings... and your life.. you could be with him..

 

The door swung open violently and a crying Jessica stood at the door. She charged at me, punched, hit, punched.

 

I didn’t moved. I took it all in.

 

“He told me the truth about you.” She hissed

 

SLAP

 

 

I held my stinging cheek.

 

She silently stared at me with questioning eyes. Those eyes weren’t angry instead, they were pleading..longing..

 

“Why Tiffany?...........”

 

“How could you do this to me?........”

 

“I loved you.”

 

And then she left.

 

I cried the whole night.

 

 

*

 

 

Today is the day he will marry her. Today is the day that I planned to start my life on a faraway place. Away from them.

 

 

*

 

 

“Please don’t marry him!!” I stood at the door of the church. I thought that I could let them be... but I can’t. I just can’t.

 

“Jesssiiiicccaaa!!! I yelled on top of my lungs.

 

Deafening silence.

 

My tears rolled out uncontrollably. My vision blurred. I inhaled and yelled again.

 

“Jessiiiicccaaa!!!”

 

I sobbed violently. I fell on my knees. My body rocked. Another deep inhale and a yell full of hurt and pleading.

 

“Pleeaaassseeee!!!”

 

I could hear animated conversations. Some with disgust. Some with amusement. Most with anger. I could see the dagger eyes thrown at me despite of my blurry eyes.

 

But I don’t care.

 

I don’t give a .

 

I don’t want them to marry. I don’t want him to marry her. I thought I could let them be but I realized I can’t.

 

I have to fight for my love.

 

 

“I’m begging you!!!” One last yell and I felt so weak, tired and drained.

 

 

“Don’t marry him............” I dropped on the cold floor and bawled. I could hear panicked voices and commotion but I didnt give a damn.

 

“Please.....” I whispered at the floor.

 

“Please..... “

 

“Don’t marry him.....”

 

“Why are you doing this to me?! I told you we’re finished! I don’t love you anymore! I love Jessica!” The voice of the groom roared like thunder.

 

“What do you want?!?” Jessica yelled at me... crying. My heart burns. It hurts so much.

 

I felt myself being lifted up,held,restrained. I could not stand straight. My back scrunched. I am crying helplessly... hopelessly.

 

SLAP

 

Jessica slapped me. There was a mix of anger, sadness, hurt and pity in her eyes.

 

“Je-------------“ Another hard slap on my cheek but it wasn’t from Jessica. Soon, there was a crowd, hurting me, insulting me, degrading me, cursing me and all of that . I am being dragged away from Jessica, being dragged out of the church.

 

Everything became slowmotion. How I was being dragged, how I screamed Jessica’s name, how I was staring at her holding and reading a piece of paper, the furious groom, all were in slowmotion.

 

Then after what seemed like eternity, I was finally dragged outside, and then shoved on the wall.... hard.

 

All the yelling, beating and cursing stopped. They all stood shocked. And felt an overwhelming pain on my chest.

 

I looked down. There is a steel bar sticking out of my chest.

 

“Noooooooo!!! Tifffaaaannnyyyy!!!”

 

I struggled to lift my head. The bride was unning towards me.... crying. With a piece of paper on her hand. The letter that I wrote for her. The letter that i originally planned to slip on the gap between the door and floor of her apartment.

 

“I love you....” I whispered. My lips tugged upwards for a sad smile.

 

Her arms stretched wide open. Maybe for a hug... I don’t know... coz I didn’t stay around to feel it.

 

 

Jessica,

 

I will go straight to the point. I am sorry for what I’ve done. I know I hurt you so much. Yes.... I’m really stupid. I’m sorry..I’m really really sorry. I will understand if you can’t forgive me.

Congratulations on your wedding. I’m giving up. Yes I am. I will be leaving.

I’m also sorry that I can’t be happy for you on your wedding. It hurts so much to see the love of my life marying someone else.

I already gave up on him..and now.. I’m letting you go. I at expressing myself even in letters so I’ll just drop this off....

 

I fell in love with you... Jessica Jung.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Tiffany........”

 

“Tiffany wake up....”

 

I opened my eyes and greeted with the sight of a smiling man.

 

“Dad......” I whispered with a horse voice.

 

“No... don’t move. Stay still.” He told me when I tried to get up. I stared at him in confusion. He grinned and wriggled his eyebrows. Then the door burst open and a handsome 2 year old kid come running and jumped on the bed.

 

“Mom!” The boy hugged me happily. He giggled when I gave him pepper kisses.

 

“Tiffany....”

 

I stopped attacking the boy with my kisses and looked up to the owner of the voice. My wife... the mother of my 2 year old son.

 

Jessica Jung-Hwang.

 

“Mommy has a suwpwais fow you.” Our son said conniving.

 

“Oh? And what is that? Care to tell your little secret, Mommy?” I teasingly asked my smiling wife.           

 

“You should start renovating the house..... “

 

“And why is that?”

 

“So your two kids could have a room each.” She grinned. My jaw dropped. Does that mean?.......

 

“I’m pregnant again Tiff.” She squealed. My jaw touched the floor.

 

My eggs...

 

Her womb....

 

A friend’s ...

 

Baby.....

 

Then reality hit me.

 

I’m going to be a Mom again!!! Yiiihhhhaaaaa!!!!!

 

I jumped off bed and hugged my wife tight.

 

And another hit of reality... this time...its not good

 

 

 

 

 

After 3 months..

 

“Go away! How many times would I have to tell you that I don’t want to see your face!”

 

A flying frying pan..

 

A door slammed...

 

A son crying in pity for his rejected Mom...

 

And a father that invites for a drinking session.

 

Here I am again

 

On the lanai

 

Sitting on my wife’s rocking chair

 

Depressed

 

Disappointed

 

Hurt

 

Sad

 

And most of all...

 

deprived.

 

 

AHHHHHHH!!!! CURSE YOU HORMONES!!!

 

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Some people just can't bear constructive critisms. Ugh!.. I don't know..ahh.. tsk. I had things going on in my head that I want to spill out.. but I dont want at the same time. So here's a compromise. I could rant clearly and vaguely at the same time.....

 

 

They enter things that they don't quite fully understand. They whine when issues are pointed at their faces. Pathetic and immature. I don't know if they seek attention, being too proud or just plain stupid.

I'm not saying that I'm better or something. Atleast Idon't resort to stupid and immature comebacks.

 

Here's the thing...

If you decided to be a singer, be ready for critisms with your song or voice. if you decided to be an actor, be ready for critisms with your acting. If you decided to be a writer, then be ready for the reviews. Its not always rainbows people. Wake up and smell the coffee.

 

I hope that you will understand... but will most likely not.