Conflicted Feelings

Because You're My Everything (HIATUS MOST LIKELY FOREVER UNTIL I GET MY MOJO BACK)

A/N: *Author undergoes a severe spaz attack due to an immense and lethal intake of pure bliss and delight* ALSKDJFHG I CANNOT EVEN. My story has only been around for a month, but I have finally reached 101 subscribers! I want to take the time to thank each and every one of you whole-heartedly.

Kpoplove, tweet226, taem-thenanana, kpoplover101, tihikix33, bluerose, vaccumcactus, cheonyhang, kikimiki, smikle89, jongna_shinee, kanna9196, SHINeeShawol, j_n_y_f, fifie_kimkeybum, tildelove, Jewtana, keytomylocket, GdNee43v32, dorislim, Wolf_Love, blingkey, paper_angel, KimAnameiYukiKibum, BBVIP21BlackJack, Jongkeyinmypants, little_miss_psycho, Shineelover26, silverpaw22, sarahmin, charisma1869, xiaop_10, SnuggleDragon, AngelicSigil, BlingBlinglover, cauliflowerhana, bLingbLingJJ, KoreanGrl, kpopluver1, leennocent, QieYue19, SHINeeLove13, shinee_luv, blackblade444, SakayBaebii, Wonder_Brothers, coolcat, LupinKara, il-legible, bezznaczenia, Bullet, caline, mannyKISSME, seecee13, ThatGirlOverThere, KPopFanGirl, hallyterry, Almighty_SHINee, Saikia, nikkixbobeenie, dazzlecwc, myshineelovee, rosebutterfly, KeymyLover, iMoonAngel, EienUteki, americanzan, WTBBtoday, kawaaikimbap, yesungx3, 2minship, queenhinata, allsmilesful, NhiAngela, AngelCakes, Kietu97, HanYongKyo, keyhyun, Bavaniink, staceitia, KeyQing_24, Eynora, seeminho, mariasweetdreams, minakoknowsbest, shinee_sparkles5, Cereal, imabyuntaefangirl, SaranghaeMinho, SoNyuShiDork, AshaSHINee, joanalovesjam, stargazer098567, Uknoihateyouhoe, pencilcase1991, cheesydubu, tolo_alasi, dragonlilly1993, kururu, -minho, BoBoBoooo

Well, I think that's all of them. That took forever to type, but you're all worth it. Banana milk, chocopies, and fried chicken for ALL of you! I even brought in SHINee to handfeed each and every one of you ;O No seriously though, they're waiting at the end of the chapter for all of ya'll. I seriously cannot thank all of you enough for supporting this story. I could just cry :'D Also, I made a banner for my fic. I KNOW THE QUALITY . Alrightie, back to business.

 

"Key, will you be my date to the dance?"

---

Key's POV:

I gawked mutely at Jonghyun, my mouth hanging agape, my eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"Key...?" Jonghyun called out my name uncertainly, gazing up at me expectantly with those wide, puppy eyes of his.

"BWOH? ARE YOU MENTAL?" I screeched in disbelief, my cheeks puffing up in distress. I briskly withdrew my hands from his grasp. Only then did I realize how sweaty they had become, so I made an effort to wipe them against my slacks.

Jonghyun furrowed his brows in a tight knot, shaking his head dismissively.

"I'm not kidding, Key. I really do want to take you," he insisted. I could hear the plea in his voice, but I ignored it.

"ANI!" I squawked, abruptly shooting up from my seat, nearly knocking over a kneeling Jonghyun in the process. Towering over his still-kneeling form, I glared down at him, my hands planted on either side of my hips.

Because of my sudden outburst, a numerous amount of heads turned to check out the commotion. Many pairs of eyes shifted from Jonghyun's crouched form to myself. I was pretty certain that my cheeks had flushed scarlet due to a mixture of fury and embarrassment, and my nostrils were flaring.

Jonghyun shot nervous glances at the many students, now whispering in suspicion. He quickly got up from the marbled flooring, brushing off his slacks. He took a broad step forward, brushing up against me in a way most would find uncomfortable.

"Key, will you shut up and calm down?" he hissed fiercely in my ear. I felt my body tremor slightly as uninvited shivers crawled down my spine. Damn it, why did I have to feel so vulnerable whenever he got so much as close to my body? I placed two hands on his chest, gently shoving him back, away from my body.

"I know what this is...a trap, right? Yes! It's got to be. There's no way in hell you're serious, Jonghyun," I growled, my eyes narrowing as I glared at him accusingly. Jonghyun sighed, and with a sudden motion, clasped securely onto my slim wrists. I hadn't at all noticed that my hands were still planted onto his chest. I felt a heated blush creep its way onto my cheeks.

Without warning, he spun around and sauntered briskly towards the exit of the lunchroom, dragging me mercilessly along. Students eyed us in amusement as he strutted past while I sort of just trailed feebly after him. 

"Let go!" I demanded when we had safely exited the cafeteria. Jonghyun ignored me as he continued to drag me along a ways away from the lunchroom until we reached a remote corridor. When we had stopped walking, I took the opportunity to squirm free of his grasp. I tugged my wrists out of his grip, and began to rub them, for they had become sore from Jonghyun's rough tugging.

"What's wrong with you?" I hissed. "And why did you have to take me somewhere private?" However, I wasn't exactly complaining. I really didn't mind being alone with him. Jonghyun placed his hands firmly onto my shoulders, shaking me gently.

"Listen, Key. You're going to be my date to the dance, araso? No objections," he asserted with an ounce of finality. I hastily shook my head in response.

"No, Jonghyun. Maybe you should try listening for a change. I'm not going with you anywhere, especially not some dance, araso? Who said I wanted to go in the first place?" I exclaimed harshly, backing away from him. Don't ask me why I was playing so hard to get. I'm not even sure why I kept objecting to him. After all, it could only be a person's wishful thinking to even consider being asked to be Jonghyun's date, right? However, I kept refusing him.

Jonghyun sighed in distress, running a hand through his hair messily. Then he shot a piercing glare intently into my eyes.

"I don't care what you say, Kibum. You're going to be my date to the ing dance, whether you like it or not, araso?" he demanded. I gulped apprehensively as his expression suddenly morphed into a foreboding seriousness. I did not bring myself to respond. He smirked smugly, taking my non-response as a good sign, and began striding off to who knows where.

"See you at the dance, yeobo!" he called out.

"Y-yah! Wait a second! Aniyo, you can't just...!" I stammered in disbelief to no one in particular. I felt myself go weak in the knees. When I could no longer support my upper body, I felt myself drop debilitately to the floor onto my knees. My hands balled into tight fists and I began feebly punching the marble, tile floor out of pure fury.

"AISH! DAMN YOU, KIM JONGHYUN!" I cried out it defeat, my voice echoing clamorously throughout the deserted hallway.

Later on, after school...

Taemin's POV:

After much begging and pleading and an abusive amount of aegyo, I had finally persuaded Key hyung to let me visit his home right after school.

I figured he was only hesitant to oblige at first because he was embarrassed of what I would think of his house. However, it wasn't that bad. My own house couldn't be more than about fifteen times the size of his quaint little one-story complex.

It was really cute and homey looking. There was a narrow brick walkway which led to brick steps, further leading to a cozy little porch. There were flower pots scattered lazily across the small landscape. I found his porch swing to be the most amusing, however. It took him about ten minutes to get me to stop squealing like a little schoolgirl, and about five minutes more to get me off the swing altogether.

Key hyung's mother was positively enthralled to meet me. She kept fussing over me, commenting that I was "the most precious little thing that ever did walk the earth" or something like that.

I immediately liked Key hyung's mother. She was nice, kindhearted, and silly. Not at all like my umma with her "I'm too busy so go away because you're becoming a nuisance" attitude. Stupid workoholics never having enough attention for their children. I couldn't help but feel a bit jealous over Key hyung's relationship with his mother.

After much whole-hearted begging, Key's mother finally agreed to let us off the hook, and we retreated to Key's room. I really didn't mind, but Key glared at me, as if daring me to object. So I just went along with him. Key dragged me along as he hurriedly strode off to his room.

Key's room wasn't at all I had imagined. Crisp sunlight filtered through the blinds of his windows. His twin sized bed was neatly made. He had a simple wooden desk, accompanied by a laptop. He had a little bookshelf lined up against the wall where he kept, obviously, his books. He had his own bathroom as well. It was cozy to say in the least. I mentally scolded myself for expecting something along the lines of a cramped, underground dungeon, or something like a shoe closet.

Key immediately plopped onto his bed, his arms and legs sprawled limply across his matress. I settled myself comfortably onto his swivel chair. I began to spin wildly, the pace of my spins becoming quicker with every revolution. I seriously felt like I was about to upchuck a woodchuck, but I was too engrossed in the sensation that I really didn't care.

"So how did it go with Onew and Minho?" Key ventured suddenly, his voice sounding muffled and faraway from his face being buried into a plush pillow. Upon hearing his name, I immediately stopped the spinning, flying clumsily off the swivel chair in the process. I groaned as my tush made contact with the plush carpet floor.

"Uh...it was fine, I guess," I responded curtly. Key looked up from his pillow, raising his eyebrows in amusement.

"Oh, come on. For Pete's sake, you're blushing. Something happened," Key persisted. I sighed and gazed up longingly at the ceiling, as if hoping that this action would somehow make Key drop the subject. Not the case. He stared at me intently, waiting for me to speak.

Suddenly, my mind became flooded with thoughts of what had happened earlier that very day. I become enveloped in my own thoughts and momentarily forgot about the present.

-Flashback-

"Wow, this school really is no joke!" I chirped as I entered the much anticipated game room.

I hurriedly rushed inside, completely thrilled. There was a pool table, a pinball machine, several arcade games (including pong, gotta love pong!), a humongous flat screen TV which was accompanied by the three latest game systems (PS3, XBOX 360, and the Wii), a dart board (that sure was a thrill), and even a mini bar.

I squealed in shrill delight as I ran over to accomodate as many stations as possible. Onew chuckled at my enthusiasm, trailing after me. As soon as Minho walked inside, he retreated to the mini bar and sat like a loner on one of the stools.

"This place is amazing, Onew hyung!" I exclaimed excitedly. I glanced over to sneak a peek at Minho. He had his elbow propped up, and his cheek rested on the palm of his hand. Needless to say, he looked absolutely dead bored. I felt my cheeks flush from embarrassment. In my response due to all the excitement, I must have appeared a lot like a little kid.

He definitely thinks I'm some immature pabo, I thought solemnly. Onew followed my gaze, then ruffled my hair playfully.

"Don't let that killjoy get in the way, just have fun, araso?" I nodded, smiling, and rushed to use the Wii. I had quickly grown frustrated with it after I couldn't find the darn cursor. It simply vanished off the screen, the stupid little runt.

I felt someone's eyes boring into the back of my head, and I quickly spun around only to discover Minho staring intently at me. I felt my cheeks burn and I cleared my throat nervously. His eyes never left mine. On a whim, I bravely scurried over to him, plopping down into the seat next to his.

"Hi, hyung," I said softly, my emotions overcome with nervousness.

"Hi," he grunted in response, his gaze finally tearing away from me. He had suddenly become engrossed with the carpet floor.

"Are you excited for the dance?" I spoke up, suddenly feeling a little bit more confident. Hey, at least he returned the greeting. Minho shook his head in response.

"Same , different year," he replied in a bored tone, still refusing to meet my eyes.

"Oh," I said in a small voice, suddenly feeling awkward. Whatever confidence I felt had quickly dispersed. I stared down at my lap, unsure of what else to do. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Minho turn his head to look at me.

"Are you?" he asked, now wearing an amused expression. I nodded, grinning cheekily.

"I really think it's gonna be lots of fun!" I said enthusiastically.

"Got a date?" he asked suddenly. I glanced at him wearily. Of all the questions in the world...

"N-no..." I stammered, my cheeks flushing a deep scarlet. Why did he want to know?

An expression — possibly relief? — flickered across the sharp features of his face, and I caught the corners of his lips twitch up into a furtive smile. His cheeks had also gotten noticably pinker, if I wasn't mistaken. He caught me staring at him (I bet I looked pretty stupid), and his face quickly returned to a hard-edged expression.

"Oh," was his only response. I pouted, not satisfied with his one-word answer.

"Do you, hyung?" I blurted.

"What?"

"Do you have a date?" I ventured furthur. He seemed taken aback by my question, and he looked at me skeptically.

"Nope," he responded with caution. A sudden feeling of hope bloomed in my chest.

"Why not?" I queried, stubbornly curious. I could feel the confidence returning once again.

"I'm planning on asking someone," he spoke, so softly that his voice was barely audible. The same, pink blush flushed over his cheeks. Yep, he was definitely blushing. And for some odd reason, I couldn't help but feel a little giddy.

"Who?" I asked bluntly. Wow, I really should scold myself for being so nosy. I couldn't help it, though. I was now dying of curiousity.

Minho shot a cold, piercing glare at my direction before muttering "It's none of your business." He suddenly became engrossed with the carpet once again. What did the carpet have that I didn't? I felt my heart sink six feet under.

"S-sorry," I stuttered, embarrassed with myself, feeling completely dejected.

-End of flashback-

"Nope, nothing happened," I insisted. Key narrowed his eyes at me accusingly, but he didn't pursue the topic furthur. He mumbled a "whatever" and excused himself so he could take a piss. I sighed in relief. He returned a couple minutes later, plopping lazily onto his bed once again.

"What about you, hyung? What was the deal with Jonghyun?" I ventured. Now it was Key's turn to sigh and gaze up at the ceiling. After a couple minutes of silence, I figured Key wouldn't speak, so I decided to drop the subject. However, I was shocked at the next few words he spoke.

"Jonghyun asked me to be his date to the dance." After letting the words sink in, I felt my heart drop. So Key was going to be Jonghyun's date while I had no one. Terrific. I should just not go at all.

"Did you say yes?" I asked. To my utter surprise, Key shook his head, wrinkling his nose in disgust as if the subject of topic reeked of something rancid. I felt a sudden wave of confidence wash over me.

"I refused to go, but I think he expects me to show up as his date. I think it's all just some stupid trick to humiliate me, so I don't think I'll even show up. Ha, that'd totally piss him off, right Tae?" I didn't respond, but instead sighed in relief. Maybe now I had a chance to attend the dance alongside Key.

It's all sort of one, confusing mess...

At first, as I started becoming closer to Key, I had grown to be very fond of him. We were so compatible with one another that we had immediately become very close friends. It came to the point where I actually brought myself to believe that I had fallen for him.

When I heard that there was going to be a dance, I could hardly wait to tell him, to let him know that I wanted to go with him, to spend an entire night of fun with him, to share many whole-hearted laughs with him, creating unforgettable memories with one another.

But whenver I see him, I can feel my mind going astray. I fail to analyze things properly. I feel myself blushing whenever an image of his face crosses my mind, or when an uninvited thought crawls its way into my brain. I've even thought those kind of thoughts about him. You know, thoughts that would invoke a serious scolding if my umma were to know.

The way Minho makes me feel is undescribable. Sure, Key is the greatest friend a person could ever ask for, and an ideal hyung. He shares his food with me, looks after me, protects me, makes sure I'm safe. Key is the type of person who will stand up for anyone he loves.

He has even told me that he loves me. He probably meant it as a brotherly kind of love, but that still didn't stop my heart from fluttering. His heart is pure, his motives are always positive. Key is also a very beautiful boy, no one could deny that. In my eyes, he  could easily be anyone's ideal type.

And on the other hand, I've never had any actual interactions with Minho, excluding the time he had escorted me out of the lunchroom, and earlier that day. Even then, both times we had barely exchanged any words. We've held more awkward eye-contact than we've held a conversation. He's a player and a heartbreaker. He seems cold-hearted and hostile in his own way, and not to mention very intimidating.

We are as different as two people can be. I feel very inferior whenever I'm around him. I feel stupid, worthless, and annoying. His social status, as well as his status in wealth, is far above mine. To say in the least, he is way out of my league. But in my eyes, he was absolutely perfect.

The way his dark, wavy locks frame that perfect, angled face of his. Those unfeeling, yet captivating dark orbs and the way they almost seem to gaze right into your soul. However, in those eyes I could sense a hurricane. Kindness, yet also loneliness, something warm, something cold, longing, and mystery. He has the most perfect, plump, rosy lips. How very much I wish for just a taste of him.

I am very fond of Key, but there was no doubt in my mind that I had indeed fallen hard for Choi Minho.

Darn these conflicted feelings of mine, I thought begrudgingly.

 

A/N: I apologize for the -ish update. It isn't as exciting as most of you hoped. I didn't bother to proofread so I'm pretty sure there's a lot of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. Sue me for being a lazy lard. I was determined to incorporate some, even if little, 2min 'cause I felt that they haven't received enough attention. I pinky swear that the next update will have tons of JongKey moments (and 2min). Hold tight, JongKey (and 2min) shippers! Please let me know what you guys think. Your comments make me piss in my pants due to my disability to withhold my excitement :D

On a different note, I'd like to take this opportunity to make an early birthday shout out for our favorite puppy-faced, dinohead...KIM JONGHYUN! If I'm not mistaken, he will be turning 21 internationally, and 22 or 23 (one of the two) in Korea. Wow, oppa is now an ajusshi! OTL I at being funny.

I am speaking for the many Shawols out there. I hope that your ankle is fully healed so I can fap to your ic performances on stage while you rock out alongside your damn y- members. Myself, as well as all Shawols out there, are patiently (LOL NOT ME I'M AN IMPATIENT BITCJHFAL) waiting for SHINee's long-awaited comeback!

This little acknowledgement is pretty mediocre compared to the many Jonghyun will receive, but I figured he deserves at least this much. Enjoy your birthday with Key, ohoho. And if it isn't too much of a hassle, could you please film it and post it up for us Shawols to fap to? Kekeke...*sigh* if only, huh guise?

 Saengil chukha hamnida, Kim Jonghyun! Saranghaeyo~! ♥

JONGHYUN GIF SPAM HAPPY BIRTHDAY BB GIRL U R SUCH A PRECIOUS PRINCESS I LOVE YOUR FACE AND THAT MOFO'ING JAWLINE

FOREVER ALONE ONEW NO WAIT I SEE SOME Y SHRUBBERY IN THE BACKGROUND WHICH MEANS THE BIRTH OF A NEW OTP: ONSHRUB/SHRUBEW

TAEMIN EATING A BANANA IN A VERY SUGGESTIVE MANNER THAT MAKES minstache-THINK DIRTY THOUGHTS...

MINHO'S RESPONSE TO TAEMIN: "OHHHH YEAHHHH TAEMIN EAT THAT NICE AND SLOW HOT DAMN I WILL DO UNSPEAKABLE THINGS TO YOUR BODY UNFFFFFFF"

KEY'S RESPONSE: "OMG TAEMIN UMMA DISAPPROVES OF YOUR INAPPROPRIATE EATING HABITS AND SCREW YOU CHOI MINHO HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH VULGAR THINGS ABOUT MY BABY"

JONGKEY IS FOREVER

THE REST OF SHINee 'CAUSE THEY'RE ALL TOO PERFECT FOR WORDS

 

Credit for the gifs go rightfully to the owners 'cause I ain't no freaking gif stealer or some shighakf.

It is Thursday, April 7, 5:24 PM in Seoul to date. Only 6 hours and 36 minutes, baby Jonghyun ^^

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Comments

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joong4ho #1
Chapter 17: This is so good ;;
theeKPOPlover #2
What is a mojo? And can u like update?
AnnyongXD #3
Chapter 4: Taiwan 's meteor garden !!! XD
moonlit-lane
#4
im sorry but its almost been a year and you still havent gotten your mojo back yet? hurry and update! i apologize for my behavior but god you need to update!
tolerance #5
New reader~
I hope you get your 'mojo' back and update.
A sad yet cute story ^^
selubrication
#6
I'm a new reader and you need to update!! Amazing and beautiful sorry! Sad but cute story kekeke .
BabyKey #7
what do you mean by 'until I get my mojo back'? o.o
Wanhiesan
#8
I'm still waiting for you to update this story. It's so cute and I just love it!!!!! Please update!! You are a wonderful writer! ^~^