Kibum, I think you may want to check if your boyfriend is gay.

Upon reading the message he received from his hyung through KakaoTalk, Kibum burst out laughing, not caring about his image in public since he was thoroughly amused by Jinki’s reaction to the whole scandal. Trust his hyung to always lighten his mood whenever he wasn’t feeling too great. After seeing the suggestive photos with his own eyes, reading the juicy entertainment news online and scrolling through the comments that flooded the page, that statement from Jinki had to be the best and funniest thing Kibum had heard and seen all day.  

As expected, Minho and Yuri had made headlines all over the papers and the internet along with the never before seen backstage photos; and as if that wasn’t enough, they were the top, if not, among the top searched on major online search engines including Daum, Naver and Nate. All news reports undoubtedly pointed to one conclusion – Minho and Yuri were linked together. Whether they were romantically involved or purely just platonic friends was still left for the public to speculate even though the media had reported that representatives from both companies denied the rumour. So many things had been said, comments flooding in one after another online. Obviously, the public was split into two camps – people who supported their relationship and the rest who were against. It goes without saying that the fact that people were actually sending their well wishes to the rumoured couple wasn’t something worth celebrating for Kibum. And you would think that Kibum would feel much better reading the comments left by those who were against their relationship. In reality though, it made Kibum feel even more miserable than he already was.

Minho oppa deserves someone better!

Why does Oppa like a girl like Yuri?

Sulli suits Minho oppa more! Minsul jjang~

Oppa should never date!! He belongs to me!

Minho oppa is too young to date…

Oppa lied to us! I am disappointed in him!

I’m not going to support Minho oppa anymore!

Although Kibum knew most comments were left by irrational fans, he couldn’t ignore the truths of the matter anymore; because now, it was literally all there for him to see. The situation was unfolding before his eyes. Kibum knew he had thought through this before, yet now, everything was troubling him all over again. For one, Minho was a public figure. His career depended solely on the public’s love. The harsh reality was that he was nothing without his fans. So if the fans wanted him to be honest with them, his private affairs had to be shared with them. True, Minho’s relationships were his personal matters but since he had chosen to set foot in the entertainment industry, he more or less had to sacrifice whatever freedom he originally had as an average person and place himself under the scrutiny of the public’s eye. No matter how much the fans said they love and respect him, it didn’t change the fact that they still would rather not be kept in the dark. That was the sad truth about the career path he chose.

And Kibum, well, he was Minho’s darkest secret, he was Minho’s accomplice in hiding the truth; and if their relationship was ever exposed to the public, not only would the media have a field day but Minho’s fans, or for that matter, the public (which included both Minho and Kibum’s families who were still unaware of their sons’ ual orientation), would have the shock of their lives. There was no doubt about the amount of negativity that would surround such a cover story – ‘Choi Minho in a secret relationship with his male personal assistant!’ Just imagining the unpleasant, malicious and hurtful things people would say about them was enough to send chills down Kibum’s spine.

Another truth that Kibum couldn’t run away from any longer was how their society was still strictly traditional. It hurt Kibum to be reminded of the reality that it came as a given that Minho’s other half had to be a girl, a lady, a woman. A man had to be with a woman, and a woman with a man. Alternatives were not allowed, or for that matter, were not even recognised by their society. So what if the times were changing? So what if the younger generation was becoming more liberal in their views? It made no difference to the general public. Yes, Kibum did tell himself before that he really shouldn’t be bothered by society’s views but it was easier said than done. Now that the comments were there for him to read, it was hard for Kibum to remain unaffected by the news and the reactions that came with it.

Kibum knew he brought it upon himself… the trouble, the misery, the unhappiness, the frustration, the helplessness of the entire situation. Kibum thought he had prepared himself well to cope with the nonsense that he was about to read when he decided to search the net for the news on Minho and Yuri. Yet now, he had clearly overestimated himself. As much as he appeared all indifferent and impassive, Kibum felt like he was going through hell. The personal assistant really shouldn’t have spoken so soon when he told Minho there was nothing to worry about because all that Kibum was feeling right now was good enough reason for Minho to worry about him… the very same Minho who was distractedly shooting glances at him every single time the camera stopped rolling at the CF shoot.

Kibum couldn’t blame Minho for being distracted though. It was probably hard to ignore his rollercoaster of emotions even if one wasn’t consciously paying attention to him. One moment, he had a deep frown on his face (‘Minho and Yuri are a match made in heaven~’), another, he looked so murderous as if he was about to kill someone (‘Oppa can’t date without my permission!’), and in the next, he was laughing (Jinki’s text of course). Causing his boss to lose concentration at work, Kibum admitted, was entirely his fault. Oh great, Kibum could now add ‘guilt’ on top of the turmoil of emotions he already had to deal with. He had failed to stay professional… broken that one golden rule that he had time and time again reminded himself especially not to break among all the rules he had set for their relationship. Damn it. Kibum was so angry with himself for his inability to separate work from personal life. How many times had he already made the mistake? More than enough to make Kibum curse at himself in his mind. And to lessen the guilt, the personal assistant knew he needed to make up for his mistake pronto.  

Even though Kibum was standing a good distance away from the actual set Minho was at, he could still feel the actor’s worried eyes on him. And knowing that he had the responsibility to ensure the actor regained his focus at work, Kibum locked gazes with Minho and gave him a strict look while clearly mouthing the word “concentrate” to him. After hesitating for a moment while the stylist adjusted his clothes, Minho visibly let out a sigh and returned a reluctant nod. However, as they looked away from each other, Kibum understood that this was far from over. Minho wasn’t going to let him off this easily… What was he going to do then? How was he going to explain everything to Minho? What could he say to stop Minho from worrying? How were they even going to deal with this mess they got themselves in?

Suddenly, everything was suffocating Kibum all at once. It was all too much for him to cope with realising that nothing positive could ever come out of their situation. Feeling both hopeless and helpless at how bleak their future together seemed, Kibum just couldn’t deal with this for a minute longer. He wanted to run away, no, he had to run away. And before he could get a grip of himself, before he could lose it, Kibum did just that. Unbeknownst to Minho who was in the middle of the shoot, he took off. Kibum escaped the set. It sounded like a rash, irresponsible decision, because evidently, the personal assistant was choosing to ditch work without a valid reason, but ironically, Kibum thought it was the most rational choice he could ever make at that moment in time.

Well, at least on his way out, Kibum did make the effort to send a text to Minho’s manager requesting for urgent leave due to personal matters, somehow also hoping that by doing so, it was enough to account for his sudden disappearance if Minho ended up asking his manager where his personal assistant went (which he most probably would). And with that, Kibum had caught a cab and was well on his way towards a place where he knew he could momentarily free himself of his troubles.

*

“And you're sure he didn't say anything else, hyung?”

“Minho, how many times do I have to tell you?” Completely fed up with the amount of questions he got from his artiste, Gyeongshik finally pulled out his phone and held it in front of Minho's face, “All I received was this text from him! Nothing else. I have no right to question him further, and neither do you have to ask so many questions as well. Why are you so concerned about him anyway?”

“He hasn't been answering my calls or my messages...” Minho couldn't help but grumble out loud before he could think about how his manager would react to this.

The actor had been trying to contact Kibum ever since he noticed his personal assistant was nowhere to be seen. At first, when he realised Kibum wasn't standing where he was supposed to be, Minho had thought that Kibum was either off on one of his tours around the set or needed to make a trip to the washroom so he thought nothing of his personal assistance's disappearance. Yet, when he was finally on his dinner break after a countless amount of retakes, Minho's manager had appeared and it was then the actor found out about Kibum's request for urgent leave. Instantly, Minho had an extremely bad feeling about it. His instincts were telling him that the only possible personal matters Kibum had to deal with were those that concerned their relationship. And the fact that Kibum wasn't answering any of his calls or messages was enough to prove that his intuition was spot on. Eyebrows knitted into a deep frown, Minho looked away from his manager guiltily and fiddled with his phone as Gyeongshik fired question after question at him.

“So what if you can’t get in contact with him? Why does he need to? Don’t forget Minho, he’s off work. He doesn’t have to be at your beck and call. Are you that helpless without him now? Since when did you become this dependent on him? Weren't you the one who said you didn't need a personal assistant from the start?”

“Hyung...” Rubbing his forehead, Minho let out a sigh and sank further into his seat where he was supposed to be interviewed at the CF shoot in five minutes’ time. “You don't understand... I...”

“What, Minho? Please help me understand why Kibum is so indispensable to you.”

Quickly rearranging his facial expression upon realising where the conversation was heading, Minho shook his head and knew better than to answer his manager’s questions, choosing to apologise instead, “Sorry, I'm just a little worried that's all...”

Gyeongshik narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the actor. “I know you're close to Kibum, Minho, but please do not forget that he is still your personal assistant. Certain lines just cannot be crossed, you understand?”

Keeping his lips closed firmly together, Minho simply nodded in reply. Perhaps it was the guilt that caused Minho to feel this way but he had a feeling that the reason why Gyeongshik had purposely reminded him to keep things strictly business was because his manager had his suspicion about his relationship with Kibum. Minho knew he couldn’t risk doing or saying anything else that would confirm his manager’s suspicion and so he chose to remain silent.

With a slight smile, Gyeongshik reached out to pat Minho on his shoulder. “Just focus on your interview now, alright?”

Minho nodded again as he adjusted his body, sitting all prim and proper in the seat. There was no need to say anything else. It was time for work.

With that, Gyeongshik stepped back and signalled towards the reporter to inform her that they were now ready for the interview. Taking in a huge breath to ready himself, Minho then forced a professional smile on his face before welcoming the reporter with a firm handshake.

For now, work was his priority. And Kibum, well, although Kibum was obviously going to be at the back of Minho’s mind all through the day, the actor couldn't do much even if he could anyway since his boyfriend was purposely staying under the radar. Right now, it was just a waiting game for Minho. After all, Kibum had to return to work sooner or later. The probability of sooner was higher though because Minho was almost certain his personal assistant wouldn’t have the guts to extend his leave. And when Kibum did return, Minho had a score to settle with his boyfriend. And trust him, Minho was definitely going to settle it well.  

*

Insomnia.

Or maybe not. It wasn’t that severe. True, Minho couldn’t sleep. But it was just for one night… or maybe until Kibum returned. It was his frustration that was causing Minho to toss and turn in bed when he should have been in a deep sleep, his energy all drained after an exhausting day at work. First, he had to deal with the constant gossip and the huge mess that came with it (including concerned calls and messages from anyone who had his personal number). Second, the CF shoot and the perfection the director demanded from him for a clip that was only going to last 30 seconds on television. Third, the interview that was supposed to be focused on what he was endorsing rather than the not-so-subtle questions to get Minho to talk about his rumoured relationship with Kwon Yuri. Fourth and most importantly, the disappearance of his personal assistant when he needed him the most. Everything together had completely squeezed every bit of energy out of Minho. And mind you, that was just work. When his schedules for the day finally ended, Minho had to head back to his cold empty apartment alone and mull over the fact that his boyfriend went missing because of the troubles that came with their relationship due to whatever that was happening at work. Complicated, wasn’t it? That was why it made perfect sense that Minho wasn’t able to fall asleep even if he wanted to.

Tossing once again on his bed, Minho peeked open his eyes and squinted at the time on his bedside clock. 2.39AM. The luminous green numbers completely pissed Minho off as he groaned out loud and punched the mattress. What sorcery was this?! He had been trying to sleep for almost 2 hours and not once had he even come close to drifting off to sleep. This was completely ridiculous. Not believing that he couldn’t fall asleep, Minho turned to lie on his back as he squeezed his eyes shut, determined as ever to lull himself to sleep, this time deciding to keep a white blank image in his mind.

And it seemed like it was working. Just when Minho felt like he was entering the first stage of sleep, he heard movement in his room. Minho couldn’t be too sure if it was his imagination at work because he was already drifting in and out of sleep, somewhere lost in a daze. But when he felt a dip in the bed on the side where Kibum usually slept, Minho’s eyes flew open. Without the need to even turn his head, there, on top of him, filling his entire vision in the dimly lit room was a figure, a presence that Minho was all too familiar with. Even if his sight was impaired, Minho could still recognise his uniquely distinct scent…

“Kibum?” Minho croaked, instantly reaching out towards the presence that was hovering above him and accurately finding his boyfriend’s face.

When his hand touched cold skin, skin that was also moist with what Minho instantly knew was tears, the actor found himself suddenly in full on panic mode as he struggled to get up and pull Kibum into his arms at the same time.

“Kibum…” More worried than ever, Minho leaned against the headboard, hugging Kibum close to his body and his back soothingly as he felt his boyfriend wrap his arms around his waist while lying against Minho’s chest and burying his face into his shirt. “Talk to me, baby, please.”

Minho first felt Kibum’s fists clench the fabric at the back of his shirt before he finally heard his boyfriend’s strained voice to replace the ringing silence. “I’m- I’m sorry, Minho, I’m so… so sorry…”

“It’s okay, I understand,” Minho sighed, kissing the top of Kibum’s head, and reassured him, “Don’t apologise… you don’t need to, bummie.”

Kibum sobbed brokenly into Minho’s shirt, at the same time, trying to steal whatever warmth he could from his boyfriend as he muttered, “But I… I just left you like that, and I ignored all your calls and messages, I’m-”

“Kibum, it’s alright. You’re back, that’s all that matters to me.” Minho wished he could wipe the tears off Kibum’s face for him but he couldn’t, so all he did was hug Kibum tighter and hope that that was enough to comfort his boyfriend.

Unexpectedly, Kibum pushed himself off Minho, revealing his tear stained face, and stared at his boyfriend, his anger evident as he raised the volume of his voice. “Stop it, Minho! Stop being so nice! I don’t deserve this. You should be angry. You should be scolding me. You should be demanding to know where the hell I disappeared to. For god’s sake, you should be asking questions! We should be arguing, dammit!”

Minho met Kibum’s eyes and slowly shook his head. “What’s the point of that, Kibum? We’re still going to move on at the end of the day so why waste time arguing and end up unhappy with each other? It’s over, I told you, you’re back, and that’s what I care about.”

A broken smile appeared on Kibum’s face as he scoffed at Minho, “If I didn’t come back in this state… if I wasn’t looking this wrecked, you wouldn’t be like this. You wouldn’t be this nice.”

“Why are you out to pick a fight with me, Kibum?” Minho took in a deep breath and let it out, keeping himself as calm as possible, as he reasoned with Kibum, “True, I wanted to shout at you, I wanted to vent my anger when you returned but I thought about it and I know that you’re having a tougher time than me. I can’t do that to you, bummie. I’ve brought you enough problems as it is. If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be going through all this.”

Kibum’s eyes widened at Minho as if his boyfriend had just sprouted all sorts of nonsense and then pointed at himself, poking himself repeatedly on his chest as he shouted, “I’m the one who’s causing so much trouble here! I’m the one being irresponsible, inconsiderate, acting like a total child… I freaking ran away, Minho, I left you alone, what kind of boyfriend am I?”

“I know what you want me to say, Kibum… but I’m not going to say it.” When Kibum’s intentions behind making himself sound like a horrible boyfriend became apparently clear to Minho, the actor caught hold of Kibum’s hand and held it securely in his, “If that’s the solution you came up with after a day to yourself, I have to say I’m disappointed in you. I would expect better from the Kim Kibum I know.”

“I hate you, I hate you so much.” Kibum roughly pulled his hand out of Minho’s grip before pushing his boyfriend hard on his chest, “Say it!”

“You don’t… and I won’t.”

“Choi Minho!”

“Kibum, I won’t break up with you.”

Upon hearing the solemnity in Minho’s voice, Kibum stilled. Biting his bottom lip and looking away from Minho, it took Kibum a moment before he spoke again, having regained his cool.

“I’ll leave then. I could always leave.”

“You won’t.” Minho simply said, still as calm as ever, as he pointed out to Kibum, “You’re still here. And if you wanted to leave, you wouldn’t have found your way back here in the first place.”

Kibum raised his chin in defiance. “I’ll leave right now.”

“Go ahead.”

Silence.

And no movement as well.

With the sound of their breathing becoming the loudest noise in the room, Minho kept his eyes on Kibum, and all Kibum could do was look back at Minho, trying so hard not to blink so that the tears wouldn’t fall. It was impossible for Kibum to hold back his tears though, because even if he didn’t blink, the tears had escaped and rolled down his cheeks. That was when Minho finally gave in with a sigh and reached out to gently wipe the tears from Kibum’s eyes.

“You and I both know breaking up won’t solve anything...” Minho softly said as he cupped Kibum’s face and looked deep into his eyes, “But you quitting your job will.”

It was a decision Minho only made the moment he saw Kibum’s tears fall but this was a decision he could never be more certain of. Even if it was the hardest decision he had to make, even if it pained him to do so, even though his heart was aching, Minho wasn’t going to take back his words.

Author's Note: oh woooow, it's April already! this is probably the longest i've made you wonderful readers wait? *bows* terribly sorry for ignoring this story, loves, i got caught up with both school and writing four other one shots as i pushed AAA aside. and now, i'm still leaving you guys with a cliff hanger... oh nooo. but i had no choice, believe it or not, this chapter is 3698 words long, and depressing to write. T.T so forgive me? i hope i can update the next chapter asap. i promise i'll not let anything else distract me as i work on chapter 20! once again, thank you for all the love and support you've given to this story! i really appreciate the time you're taking to read AAA and accompanying me through this journey. hope you've enjoyed this update! (⌒▽⌒)♥