WHY

Author: Me a.k.a Jaehan Kim Yunjae - @yunjaehan

Pairing: Yunjae

Length: Oneshot (3115 words)

Rating: T

Genre: Romance

Beta: tiedmyribbon

Cast:

Kim Jaejoong

Jung Yunho

DISCLAIMER:

I don’t own Yunjae. They own each other but I hope I can own them. The plot, story and poster are mine.

WARNING!!!

This is fanfic means boy x boy story, so if you can’t take it just leaves already. I don’t wanna hear bad comments and I don’t care with your comments.

A/N:

A short ff from my dilemma there are so many angst yunjae’s fanfic

I can’t take to read that ff   X’C

Happy Read ^^

The blue atmosphere turned silent in the yard, as people take their leave from the man’s final resting place.

A young man fell down on his knees in front of a freshly piled soil, trying to sense for the last time the feeling of having his companion with him. He kept on staring at the gravestone, tears flowing uncontrollably from his brown, almond-shaped eyes, letting go of the feeling his fragile heart couldn’t contain anymore, as a deep scar left on it.

“Joongie…” the man sobbed

He the gravestone as if he could touch the body of the man whose name was written on it amidst all the impossibilities. Kim Jaejoong, the name written on the black gravestone, the name he would never get any respond for calling his lover anymore.

“If this is how it all ends, I’d rather have myself in your position, Jaejoong-ah, bearing all the pain. Why won’t you let me give you my heart? You’re too much, Joongie. Too much!” he raved between the sobs.

His arms hit the pile of soil and he looked down on it, as though he could see the sleeping face of his late lover. His glance was all dreamy, as the past played through his mind, so vivid… yet his strong arms could never reach.

“Yunho-ah,” a man who had been standing beside him all the while called his name as he pat his best friend’s shoulder, jerking him back to reality.

“Yoochun-ah,” he replied as he took a glance at the good looking man before his eyes went back to the grave of his eternal love… his picture perfect future, the hopes of his life.

“Yunho-ah, Joongie… He’s already in peace there,” the other man tried to convince him.

“You don’t understand my feelings,” Yunho selfishly replied.

“I understand, Yunho-ah, I understand very well. This whole thing reminds me of all things that I have been through in the past, and you jolly well know how much Jaejoong means to me too…” revealed Yoochun softly, yet audible to Yunho who heard all the misery in his short statement.

“I’m sorry.”

“Forget it. I refuse to remember anything about it anymore. Now you have to get back up and live your life, just like how he wanted you to,” Yoochun offered a hand to Yunho, asking him to get up and take a leave.

“Let me be for a while, Yoochun. I want to be by his side for a moment… for the last time,” Yunho begged.

“Alright, then, I’ll be waiting for you in the car, ok?”

“I guess…”

“Send my regards to him,” Yoochun concluded as we walked away from the place.

“You heard that, Joongie-ah? Yoochun send you his regards. You must be so happy, right? He’s your best friend, you two were so close,” Yunho said with a forced smile.

“Sometimes I felt really jealous of him, you know. You always think about him. But I believe that your heart still belongs to me” he got teary, as the tears forced its way out and flow on his already wet cheeks.

“But why didn’t you let me to donate my liver to save your life, Joongie? Why did you let it crush you and brought you to death? You’re mean to me, Joongie. You’re really mean,” he groaned, couldn’t contain the anger that got hold of his fragile self.

“Have you forgotten all the love you gave to me when the disease came? Or have you forgotten our vow? Am I not a good enough husband to deserve to share your pain with? Have I failed to be a husband? Had you lost trust in me? Answer me!” Yunho rambled, bombarding questions to no one, shouting on top of his lung.

He kept on hitting the innocent pile of soil in front of him. He felt all messed up. God knows how hurtful he felt, to realize that he had to live a life without the love of his life now.

“I hate you. I really hate you,” he stated.

“But perhaps, even this can’t overcome the how much love I have for you… should I just… go after you, Joongie?” a crazy idea popped out in his unstable mind.

“Right! I was right, Joongie. That way, we can still be together! Besides, I vowed to be with you in happiness and sorrow, with you or without you!” he felt satisfied with his mind

“Wait for me there, Joongie!” Yunho got up as he walked away from the grave.

With that in mind, he breezed out with a different facial expression. He did not give a damn about Yoochun who was calling for him and chasing for him. He only knew one thing that he’d be with his Joongie in a while. Just a little bit more, and they will be together forever. He stopped on his track all of a sudden when a bus seemed to be driving in high speed just in front of him. His eyes were empty, but a smile carved on his face. And just like that, everything ended.

***********************************

“Jae…” the handsome man called for another beautiful man as he smiled. The other man was sitting on their shared bed, reading a stack of paper in his hands.

“Yunnie…” Jaejoong responded.

“What are you doing?” he asked his lover, who looked very upset reading the script. He approached him and took a look at the paper his boyfriend was reading.

“Are you reading a fan fiction?” he smiled while asking the smaller man.

“Ummm…” Jaejoong nodded

“What’s that about? Why do you look so upset?”

“Haaah~” he sighed as a reply.

“What’s with the sigh?” Yunho turned the other man’s head.

“Yun...” Jaejoong whined

“Hmm…?” Yunho mumbled as answer

“Sometimes I wonder...”

“About?”

“Sometimes I wonder...”

“Yes?”

“Why are there so many authors write fan fictions about us?” Yunho smiled hearing the question. “Why? Isn’t that normal?” Yunho responded and make Jaejoong more confused

“Why is it normal?”

“Well… see, they love us. They want what they hoped for us on their imagination to come true. However, they could only express it in a form of writing, a fan fiction,” Yunho answered as he hugged his lover.

“That’s the problem.” Jaejoong said while shut his eyes feel Yunho’s warm on his body

“Huh? Why? Don’t you like reading it?”

“I do”

“Then what’s the problem?” Yunho looked down at jaejoong in his embrace.

“Iit’s very rare to find a happy-ending fan fiction lately”

“Hmm... You mean?”

“It always ended up with death. If it isn’t me dying from an incurable disease, you died in an accident, or we both died committing suicide,” Jaejoong pouted as he told Yunho and looked up to him.

“Hah~” Yunho sighed hearing his boyfriend’s comments. Jaejoong is being more and more sensitive.

“Jae-ah, those are only fiction, an imagination. You don’t have to think about it too much,” Yunho smiled as he played with Jaejoong’s smooth hair.

“But…”

“Mhmm? Anymore doubts?” Yunho asked teasingly.

“Like you said before, fan fictions are supposed to be the thoughts of their authors who wanted it to become reality…” Jaejoong felt silent for a while before going on

“Are they hoping for us to be dead tragically like that?!” Jaejoong pouted.

“Hah! Jae, you think too much!” Yunho replied in surprised tone, quite shocked with Jaejoong’s thought before glaring at him piercingly.

“But Yunho-ah, I can’t help but to think about it,” Jaejoong replied as he looked down. He was a bit scared of Yunho’s glare.

“When I read fan fiction about us… I can’t help but to imagine that those who are in the story are you and I…” he kept on looking down, anticipating his lover’s reaction.

“And when they put in the Super Junior or Girls Generation members’ name as a third party in our relationship… I can’t help but to feel jealous.

“I know it’s not going to happen in real life… I mean, I know you love me so much, and vice versa,” he added quickly to avoid misunderstanding.

“But still… I can’t help it. What if… what if they read it… and then they thought of having you and everything became reality. Plus, they are the people who were reported to be with you and nobody knows about our relationship…” he carried on, reluctantly expressing what was on his mind.

“Jae…” he called, trying to calm him down as he hugged the small body tight. Yunho lifted up Jaejoong’s chin and look at him gently.

“Look,” he began

“Those are just fictions, imagination that they hoped to come true. You heard me, Jae? Those are just imagination, and not reality. We are the reality and I assure you that nothing like that will happen,” he said reassuringly.

“But what if -” Jaejoong tried to rebut.

“What if they became reality?”

“It wouldn’t. You’re the owner of my heart, and it would never change.” He said

“And all those gossips are just sensation, to increase their popularity. I would never leave you.”

“But what about,” Jaejoong tried to calm himself down

“What about that entire death thing? What if I really do have incurable disease that might kill me, and force me to leave you?”

“Hey, don’t say that. I promise you I will always be with you through thick and thin, Jae,” he smiled and kissed the crown of the other man’s head.

“Besides, I believe we won’t be given a situation to face where we can’t handle it. And happiness would come at last, at the right time… And whatever happened, it is for the best, Jae.”

“Eumm...” Jaejoong nodded.

“Only nodding” Yunho .

“Then… What should I do?” Jaejoong looked up to Yunho with those innocent eyes.

“I want to see your smile that always makes me fall for you deeper,” Yunho continued to tease.

“Aish... you,” Jaejoong mumbled as he blushed and hit Yunho’s chest.

“And about our relationship…” Yunho could only burry his face in Jaejoong’s neck.

“Jae,” Yunho called for the other man, and he could feel his body started to tremble.

“Forgive me, up till now I still can’t tell anyone about us. I’m such a lousy boyfriend.” Yunho whined

“Yunho…” Jaejoong totally felt Yunho’s sadness. He knew that not everyone would accept their relationship.

“I’m sorry,” Yunho whispered and Jaejoong could only squeeze Yunho’s arms around his waist.

The two couldn’t say a word, and just remained silent, feeling the radiating sadness and warm. Jaejoong realized how their relationship is since the beginning, and accepted it since then. But when he had to face the reality… it still hurts.

Every choice comes with a risk. Right or left, there’s always a consequence to all that we chose in life. It always has two ends, happiness and sadness. No other choice but to embrace it.

“Yunho,” Jaejoong called, as he felt Yunho getting more contended.

“I know it’s hard for us, but I also know that we could get through this together,” he said as he smiled at Yunho behind him.

“I’m sorry for being useless, Jae,” Yunho regretted.

“Don’t say that! You mean the world to me. If it wasn’t because of you, I wouldn’t have reach this far.”

“Jae…”

“You showed me the way all along my journey. I will always be behind you, following your footsteps and beside you to encourage you,” Jaejoong gave him an eye-smile again.

“I love you, Jae.”

“I love you too!” Jaejoong hugged Yunho who looked so fragile right now.

“Feeling better now?” he asked.

“Eumm...” came the reply from the taller man with a nod.

“Thanks Yunho-ah, you always make me smile even in my lowest point in life and help me to get back on track,” Jaejoong said as he smiled sincerely to his lover.

“That is why I’m right here beside you, and you’re beside me. I will always try my best to protect you.”

“You know Yunho, now to think about it, you indeed treat me like a woman. I’m a man too, you know! I can protect myself!” Jaejoong said to change the atmosphere.

“That’s because you act like a woman! You see, just now, which man would cry while reading a fan fiction?” teased Yunho as he felt better and decided to play along.

“Aish… Fine, I could never win against you.”

“Of course. That’s why I’m the top in the relationship and you will stay at the bottom” Yunho again

“How am I supposed to win you if I’m always at the bottom…” Jaejoong protested.

“Well, woman’s place is at the bottom!”

“Aish! Ah, whatever,” Jaejoong went pissed as he flipped through the pages of the papers he was reading.

“Don’t be mad, Jae… I will always love you regardless,” Yunho said, trying to calm his lover’s down and pulled him closer.

“What is this story about?” Yunho asked, as he looked at the stack of papers in his boyfriend’s hands, as he circled his arms around his small waist and smelled his scent.

“You know…” Jaejoong start

“Mhmm...?” Yunho nodded while saw the paper

“The story was about us, married and live happily…”

“Then?”

“Then… Yunho-ah!” he turned back and looked at his lover.

“What?”

“I’m so pissed!” Jaejoong whined.

“Why…?” Yunho was getting confused at this point.

“Why would they always put me in a position like I’m a woman?! Look at this fan fiction; I actually got pregnant in this!”

“Woah?! Really?” Yunho was so fascinated and started to read through the content of the papers Jaejoong shoved to him earlier.

Jaejoon could only observe expression on the face of Yunho, who was so preoccupied with the stories in his hands. He was waiting for the younger man to show up some dislike towards the story, but that did not happened. Instead, Yunho looked happy and satisfied with the story.

“Yunho~” Jaejoong called him.

“Mhmm…?” Yunho answers without looking at Jaejoong

“Why are you smiling~?” he asked, hoping that he wouldn’t get an undesirable answer.

“Hey Jae,” Yunho called as he looked at Jaejoong who didn’t look very pleased.

“Yes?” jaejoong feels nervous

“Don’t you think the story is interesting? You could get pregnant and we can have a baby from your womb!” Yunho commented excitedly.

“Yunho!” Jaejoong started to get really pissed.

“I couldn’t imagine how our child would be when he born later, he would have daddy’s handsomeness and mommy’s beauty!” Yunho went on and on, ignoring Jaejoong’s call.

“Hey!!! Jung Yunho!” bellowed Jaejoong, loud enough to snap Yunho out of his imagination. “What do you think am I, huh? How could a man be pregnant and give birth?!”

“Oh- Jae… Don’t be upset. I’m just joking” Yunho assured him as he grabbed his hand.

“It’s not funny!” Jaejoong let go of his hand and cross his hands in front of his chest.

“Don’t be like that… c’mon…”

“I’m angry.”

“Alright, fine… I was wrong. I’m sorry, okay?” Yunho begged as he hugged Jaejoong from the back and kissed his left ear.

“Fine! I forgive you this time,” he replied.

“Give me back the papers!”

“But, Jae, I’ve heard of some men who got pregnant,” Yunho continued innocently

“Aish, Jung Yunho. You’re really looking for trouble.”

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry… I won’t talk about it anymore.”

“You’re annoying!”

“But you love the annoying me” Yunho tease.

“Mhmm..” Jaejoong agreed.

“Oh, by the way, Jae… when I read the fan fiction, there is nothing so sad about this story. Why don’t you like it?”

“You didn’t write it till the end, that’s why. At the end of the story, I died because of some diseases just a while after we got married” he said

“Aish! I really hate such sad stories.” He sighed before continue with anger in his voice

“And please, why must I be portrayed as a weak person and under a man’s control and got ?! I'm a man too, for goodness sake! I can protect myself!”

“I hate those scenes too. I’m the only one who can do you, both in real life and fan fiction” Yunho nodded innocently.

“You and your erted behavior.”

“Your fault.”

“Idiot! Blame your dirty mind!” Jaejoong hit Yunho’s head hard.

“Hey! You can’t hit your husband’s head like that”

“Since when are you my husband?” Jaejoong teased as he stuck out his tongue.

“Since a long time ago” Yunho pressed their body together as he pushed their body to the bed.

“I don’t remember!!”

“Jaejoong, you have to be punished!” Yunho started to tickle the other man’s body.

“Yunho! Stop tickling me!” Jaejoong managed to say in between his laugh and tried to get away from the taller man.

“You’ve got to be punished for hitting your husband.”

“Ahh~ stop it. Fine, I’m sorry. Now stop it!” Jaejoong plead as he giggled with Yunho’s action.

“Tired?” Yunho asked as he let go of Jaejoong and saw his lover breathless.

“Of course! You, don’t ever tickle me like that again.”

“But I’m not tired yet, Jae,” Yunho said with a smirk on his face.

“Aish…” Jaejoong sighed, gave up.

Yunho lessen the gap between his face and his angels’ pretty face, as his eyes focused on a spot which was always have a soft spot in his heart. Jaejoong’s red lips never fail to tempt him to feel its warmth and softness. He pecked the lips, which would always end in a loving make-out session.

Sadness, fight, happiness, and various emotions might be felt in a course of relationship, because loving someone means that we would have to accept his strength and weakness in all the differences you have. Everyone was born with different abilities and destiny and that’s where love is supposed to be in between all those differences and bring them together.

End

Thanks
For those who've stopped by and read this fan fiction
don’t mind to leave give comments or critics. I just want to know how many people that read my story.
See you at the next fanfic ^^

Mina-san

if you don't mine, we also can chat on twitter

here my Twitter @yunjaehan

let's be friend^^