Sadness
Author: Me a.k.a Jaehan Kim Yunjae

A / N:
It's up to you want to consider it as what, do you want to say this fan fiction  with Jaejoong POV or anything...
I just want to put it in a paper
 

Sadness, happiness, sorrow, anxiety, and pain is a feeling that will always be present in the life of every human being. When in sorrow and suffering, human will always feel that he is the most miserable creature in the world, he didn’t think that there are no others who are more pathetic than them

And when they felt a great happiness, they will be very excited to say to everyone that they were happy, without thinking about the feelings of others who may be in the dumps

This is human, always being selfish. Without they knowing it amongst all of human in the world, they love himself more than other, although they should compare it with other people they love the most

"I am nobody in this house, Umma never care about me, isn’t it? Umma just thinking about hyung, I'm always be the last" he breath hardly in his every words, tears were no longer able to flow

"You are all my son..." the old woman crying being ignored, his heart was too hard to hear the fact that came out of his last son

"Since Appa died Umma's always crying and said that there will be no one love Umma. Umma will never understand my feelings, I'm also sad; he was my father who I love and loved me. Who will care for me now? There is no" he said defenselessness

"I ever thought, if it’s true that I was a child in this family? Umma never remember me for the first time, you just remember me when you needed something from me. If I wanted to get attention, then all I get when I was sick, yet your anger is never ending" he said weakly

"Umma never knew, just to get a little attention from you I hurt myself and make myself sick by not eating properly. Umma never discern I was rarely start my morning by eating food and when I got back in the day to my evening, right? I didn’t put any food into my body" he whined softly, tears were again flowing slowly

"Until the end I became a masochist..." his words stopped, he bit his bottom lip hardly trying to hold back his tears

"Appa had gone. No one will loved me in this house, love is already dead. May be from the beginning I did not deserve at this home, or am I just a little baby who adopted among the remaining pile of human needs. Now I don’t care" he smile wearied and painfully

"Maybe you'll be happy if I never existed, so I'd better go. Good-bye" his steps leave all bad memories behind his back

It's time to find a new happiness by leaving all the people he cared about, foolish thought and short. But if the emotion and anger have been covered person's thinking, nothing is able to uncover a sense of frantic and loneliness.

Someone... He needs someone who can understand his happiness and sadness. He needed someone who could make him cry in his arms and until he is able to express all his sadness.

Although all the people consider he is a strong man with all the excitement and his adults attitude that always showed, but he remains a man who has fragility and weakness

Of course everyone will expect a good end in the path of his life. But the happy end, if everyone would get it? All the people choose their way with a compass in their hand, everything went according to the directions and guidance he took. If the directions and instructions are different, of course, the final is different too

One thing that every living things belief that God is the Almighty fair and God always be wtih everyone who remember Him


I love you...