“Why, oh why, did I agree to this torture?” you complain getting pulled by an enthusiastic Chen by the wrist. Dinner was fun, as you expected. Luhan and Xiumin were as bubbly as ever and Chen was the dork he is, which made the night highly entertaining. The four of you parted ways at the restaurant, the older boys hanging back to help close up while you and Chen started the trip back home.

“Shut up, this is for your benefit. I mean, we do need to walk off all that food and we are going to your apartment so stop complaining. I’m the one who needs to go back so, shush.” he chides tugging you insistently. By some way or another (probably too hyper because of one too many cups of bubble tea) you agreed to walk—that’s right, walk—home with Chen.

Why are you such an idiot? The university is too far to walk to. Ugh.

“Why did you want to walk anyway? We could’ve gotten a ride from Xiumin oppa or just taken the bus like we usually do. Why the sudden need for exercise?” you inquire, matching his footsteps after hurrying to catch up to him.

Geez, he walks fast.

He must still be pumped up from his performance, you figure.

“Why not? It’s a nice night, not too cold, not too muggy, no storms,” you flinch and he replaces your wrist for your hand encouragingly, “and us best friends. There’s no reason not to.”

“That was very deep of you, I’m proud.”

“Thanks, umma!”

“You’re welcome son but, I’m only partially proud of you because you didn’t bring home a first place trophy or ribbon. You’ve brought dishonor upon our household.”

“What happened to unconditional love?”

“You’ve got to earn it with me.”

“Wow, you’d make a horrible mother.”

“Correction, you’re just a horrible son.”

“Did you hear that? That was the sound of my heart breaking.”

“Want me to kiss it and make it better?”

“How about just a kiss?”

“What’s with you? Actually wishing we were a real couple?” Thank God your words didn’t shake.

“Eh, just wondered what you’d do.”

“What for?”

“Just curious.”

That’s where the conversation ends.

It’s safe to say the silence between you is unsatisfying, maybe even a little disappointing for the both of you. That random rabbit trail in the conversation definitely threw you off and made everything just a little more awkward. First at the restaurant with “it was for you” and now this.

Maybe he does feel something for you.

Unlikely, seeing as both instances were shut down as meaning nothing more than the average comment.

You really do want to know how he feels though. You need to know that you aren’t the only one feeling this way, that this isn’t all for nothing.

You’re going to be brave.

“Hey, Chen?” you start casually.

“What? If this is about that last set of comments just ignore them.” he replies looking straight ahead. You purse your lips. You’re asking anyway.

“You know how we’ve been ‘going out’ for a while?” There, vague enough.

“Well yeah, it’s been two months. Longest relationship I’ve ever been a part of.” You note how he doesn’t mention it’s a fake relationship.

“Same, though I’ve never had the option to be in one before this—"

“Ah! No, we’re not talking about that! You know why I didn’t date any of those girls!”

“I know, all I’m saying is that you could’ve gotten to know them and dated them. That or you could be a normal guy and just date them—"

“What’s the point in that? Dating just to date, it’s stupid. Why date anyone unless you’re sure it’ll go somewhere? I don’t want to be pulled into a relationship that may or may not even last past the first year—no, month. I mean, when you think about it that other person can break it off at any given time and then you’re left with a shattered heart and broken memories. I don’t want to deal with that. I wouldn’t be able to. So… why not just wait for that perfect person? The one you know won’t break your heart?” he murmurs, brisk pace slowing as he elaborates.

You find yourself unable to respond to his explanation. You always thought he was just being stubborn, picky even. You didn’t realize how thought out his decision actually was—is. It’s almost as if he’s afraid of commitment, afraid of being hurt.

“Chen…” you breathe at a loss, watching the lines of his face go from troubled to tired.

“Yeah, that’s the big reason. I’m just going to have to wait forever.” he sighs replacing his haggard expression for a smile, “But hey, we don’t have to worry about that. We’ll be best friends forever no matter what!”

Best friends, right…

“I don’t know about that, there’s only so much dork I can handle—"

“Liar! You would’ve left already if that was true. Idiot, get your facts straight.” he interjects pulling you to a stop. Stumbling you narrow your eyes at him and grunt loudly in complaint. He grins. “Looks like I’ll be leaving you now.”

You furrow your brows.

“Is that—oh...” you mumble thinking he was making some kind of joke about “breaking up” with you. No, you’re just home. How is it that you didn’t even realize you’d made the entire trip home?

He’s been distracting you too much lately.

“Anyway,” he pushes open your door with a roll of his eyes, “you really have to learn to lock your door. Who knows who might break in and steal all your precious crap? Or try to do some weird stuff to you in your sleep?” he chides shaking his head disapprovingly.

You stick your tongue out at him, crossing your arms stubbornly.

“It’s my apartment! I can leave it unlocked if I want!”

“I’m just trying to look out for you, idiot.”

“Whatever, dork.”

Conversation ends, familiarly comfortable unlike the last, but the two of you still stand, fingers laced in your usual index finger hold.

Neither of you move, unwilling to leave each other.

Chen’s phone dictates otherwise, ringing with a shrill trill. Keeping his eyes on you he answers his phone, half listening to the caller.

“Who was that?” you ask, rocking on your feet to give yourself something to do.

“Xiumin hyung, apparently he and Luhan hyung decided to camp outside my flat. I’m in favor of leaving them locked out but, they’re coming to get me,” he nibbles at his bottom lip, your doorframe suddenly becoming very interesting, “I kind of don’t want them to.”

“You’re always welcome to stay, couch’s been lonely for a while.” you offer out of habit. It is true though, he’s your best friend after all and always welcome to stay.

“I know, but I,”—a distant but distinct shout sounds to your right. Xiumin—“should’ve mentioned they were already here.”

“That’s kind of important, thanks for the heads up.” you mutter, scuffing your shoe on the ground.

“I better go before they forcibly drag me away,” reluctantly he draws his hand away and heads toward the noisy, spastic boys (their being older than you is always hard to believe). “See you tomorrow.” he calls over his shoulder.

“Bye,” you reply watching his retreating figure briefly before turning to step inside. You get one foot in the door before being whirled around. Succeeding at scaring you witless Chen grins broadly, breathlessly. Holding you by the shoulders his eyes search your face, imploring you to understand why he’s doing this, why he came back.

Well, you don’t, and your startled heart doesn’t appreciate it.

“Chen, what the-”

Your complaint never gets fully expressed, mind drawing a complete blank, voice stuck in your throat. The space once between you is erased, in fact it may as well have never existed with how earnestly his lips mold against your own. The moment of hesitation and shock zips past in a flurry of fragmented thoughts.

Chen is kissing you.

He’s freaking kissing you.

He came back and now he’s kissing you.

Why is he kissing you?

What’s going on?

What the heck is he doing?

Why hasn’t he done this sooner?

Ignoring the thoughts whizzing through your mind like busy honey bees you kiss him back, eagerly, desperately. You don’t care that this isn’t necessarily okay, it does happen to be justified.

Chen kissed you, you’re just responding.

Something more explosive than fireworks ignites in you like a light of its own, a tingling heat spreading through your veins like electricity. Your heart struggles to keep up with the sudden spike of your pulse, its impossible beat rivaling a hummingbird’s. The feeling of his supple lips against yours is indescribable, the very thought alone used to render you speechless Now it’s happening, after wishing and hoping for so, so long, imagining this scenario over and over in your head—it’s finally here.

You know how you said you wanted to stay in a moment with your friends forever?

You lied.

This is the moment you want to stay in forever, without a doubt.

This time nature decides to ruin your wonderful moment. Your lungs can only handle so much without air. Pulling away breathlessly you feel an icy fire stab your throat in place of the red hot burning that’d built up in them while your heart conspired with it to threaten to burst through your chest at any second. You’re certain your face is its own shade of red, a furious blush spilling across them like a glass of water carelessly knocked over to let its contents spill free. Chen looks as dazed as you feel, his eyes dancing, smile more brilliant than the sun, his hands still on your shoulders.

“Make sure you lock your door,” he brushes his lips gently over your forehead, “Goodnight, idiot.” With that he leaves, jogging to his impatient hyungs with an extra hop in his step.

Clinging to the doorframe for support you stare after him in utter bewilderment, still feeling his lips on yours, the teasing taste of him lingering temptingly on them.

W-what was that..?

What could’ve possibly possessed him to do that?

Is this an aftereffect of his earlier good, ecstatic mood?

Is he thinking straight?

You’re definitely not.

And it’s that dork’s fault.

As you slip into your apartment and take the time to actually lock your door you don’t realize how a smile tugs at the corners of your lips.

Well, who wouldn’t be smiling after realizing why the boy you loved came back to kiss you?

He came back.

Why?

Because he loves you too.

You’re certain of it.

Best friends aren’t best friends without reason, you just know him.

Hunches and assumptions has always been how you read Chen.

Just for tonight however, he’s an open book.

The only words the pages read are four words.

I love you too.