He was covered in a sheen of sweat, his cheeks were clammy and his breath hot and heavy. Who knew how he even got such a fever since he had been fine this morning. But really, it was sort of a understatment. What is ‘fine’? What does it mean? If it had to be properly explained then Luhan was feeling ‘healthy’ this morning but his mood was in no way, shape or form reciprocated by his wellbeing. All he could write were poems about waning away to the throes of love-sickness. It was a deep depression and a mild regression; he couldn’t think straight, stand straight, always pining away for her. He didn’t have an appetite and cared less and less about himself, thus a reason for him being ill with a fever – it must be because he didn’t bother to look after himself, to eat and dress well. He was betwitched and never had a woman done anything of the sort to him which only made him more enraptured. But now that he was with her, his mood was blooming and he wanted to tell her everything, how he felt, how he needed her; however, the only set-back was that his body wasn’t responding.

You slid open the covers to his bed and tied up the curtains that hung around his bed-frame. Lamps and candles were already lit around the place, probably because he had neglected to blow them out after leaving his room but it made things easier for you because for starters, you could see. You sat him down on the bed and tried to leave to call a maid to help but his grip was steadfast.

“Don’t go,” he pleaded, his vision hazy.

So you reassured him you wouldn’t leave to loosen his grip and murmured an excuse, “But I have to get someone to send for a doctor.”

He protested but because he didn’t have a hold on you anymore and that he was weak, you slipped out from next to him and reached over to grab a lantern before walking out of his room, promising as you did that you’d return. He looked so forlorn anyway and as much as you did want to leave, his begging stare was enough to keep you from sprinting out the door.

Walking down the corridor, you came upon the maid’s rooms and woke one of them up by knocking on the door. The sleepy-eyed girl slid open the rice paper barrier and upon seeing you in front of her, became startled awake. “Oh, Miss!” she hiccuped and then asked what the matter was quickly to hide her outburst.

“I came upon Prince Luhan this evening,” not saying how of course, “and found that he has a high fever. Could you please send for a doctor for me?”

The girl who looked to be younger than you by a few years nodded her head, eyes still wide in surprise, flustered. “I will right away, Miss" she rushed off in panic. You then guessed that she'd wake up more of the servants because clattering was heard as you returned to Luhan's room and noticed the faint glow of light, casting a shadow in front of you as you walked- clearly she'd woken up the entire quarters, candles were being lit one by one. 

Sending for a doctor now would mean that he,d arrive in an hour or two at the latest, that is, if he lived close enough in the city to the palace. The emperor never liked having a doctor in the courts because then it'd be a constant reminder of his failing health and so, the doctor was situated outside the palace gates to be called on for when the time was necessary for it. He liked the distance between the ominous and foreboding, but now, when you most needed him to take care of a patient, he seemed as farther away as the seas were from the land. 

Sliding yourself back into the room, you decided to clean up the sick Prince before things got any worse for when the professional would arrive. Looking at Luhan who was slumped next to the bedpost, you looked around for some sort of wash basin that was usually a staple in any room - and found an exquisitely painted porcelain basin to the side, in front of a mirror with a wash cloth hung on a stool - all located in the innermost corner of the room, tucked away behind the bed. This must've been where the Prince washed in the morning and you tentatively took it, with the water inside, now cooled over to his slouched figur, eyes heavy lidded and nearly closed.

"Luhan?" you asked softly and he lifted his head. Putting the basin with the water and the towel on the wooden counter of his bedside table, you held his hot face in your hands to test how he was feeling. His cheeks burned your palms as he sighed into your touch. "Luhan," you said again, letting go of his face to grab his shoulders and position him so that instead of sitting so that he was facing you, he was not perpendicular to his bed head and pillows. He kept his hazy gaze on you the entire time and stared in like a child in awe. "I'm going to cool you down a little before the doctor comes, alright? You'll feel better soon." 

His words were soft and murmured through swollen lips and a heavy tongue. "I'm fine just with you," he slurred; at first you were a little by his words but then you played it off, ignoring what he'd just said so that you could keep your cool in such a context. 'treat him like a child,' you thought, 'treat him like he's drunk.'

Without anything more to say, you loosened the collar of his robes and pushed him gently down so that he was lying on the bed and propped up by the pillows. You could feel that even his neck was clammy and you realised the extent of his fever. He must've really neglected to look after himself for it to get like this. Turning away from him so that you were now facing the bedside, you dipped the cloth in until it was fully saturated before wringing it dry and feeling the water droplets drip through your fingers. You then pressed the wet cloth along the supine Prince's forehead and along his cheek a few times. His hair which was already damp along the front and near the ears from his sweat became wet again and his hot cheeks flushed a lighter shade of pink from the coolness of the cloth, bringing down his temperature. As the cloth became warm again from his skin, you dipped it back into the basin and repeated the process. 

He breathed a sigh. "Tell me something," he whispered al of a sudden into the silence. 

Not sure how to continue, your response was in an act to humour him and make the situation less difficult for the both of you. So you responded, "What?"

he brought down on you the full weight of his undivided gaze and murmured softly, once again, "Tell me why you're so hesitant of me."

You tensed and your hand that was wringing the damp cloth froze, stopping the trickling sound of water causing the quiet to infiltrate the room. He noticed this almost immediately and he turned his head, focusing his doe-eyes to look closer at you with an expression of pain of his face. "why do you treat me like this, yet avoid me so? Must I be so sick and cursedly depraved for you to care?" 

You bit your lip and tightened your grip subconsciously on the cloth. Thinking on it now, you didn't realise how inconvenient a predicament you were in. You only wanted to do your job, no strings attached and leave like nothing ever happened; but clearly it was easier said than done. Luhan was for real and there was nothing you could do to persuade him otherwise. It madeu uncomfortable, knowing that you wanted none of his attention when he so sincerely and wholeheartedly gave it. It was an awkward feeling, never had you rejected such regard as you simply never had the chance to fall in love. Your role always required all of you; even your emotions which always had to be kept on a strict leash. Now that you felt the love, you didn't knoww to receive it, or if you could even accept it at all. That was why you distanced yourself; probably why he could tell that you were avoiding him. Forcing the cloth in your hand to his cheek, dabbing softly to mask your intentions and your absent answer, you tried to go against his accusations.

"I do care for you... If I avoid you, it's just subconsciously..." you trailed off again, words cautious and weary. Thinking of something betteryou say, you added on, "I guess it's a survival mechanism, not getting close to people. I don't like the commitment - the feeling of being tied down." And in all truth, that was why you were so good in your roles - always pretending tomeone else that what you really were got lost in the crowd of fake personas. It didn't like it when people knew you too closely, like they were judging you and how you lived. You hated not being free and this trait allowed you be careless, carefree alaid back in your endeavours. In that moment, you revealed to Luhan more than anyone else had managed to drew out from you and as much as Luhan hated the answer, he savoured the idea that you were revealing part of yourself to him - one of the things you hated to do the most.

He brought his hand to cup yours in his, holding it to his cheek and breathing in at your wrist. It was strange how he did that, paused for a few seconds as he in the scent, as if flowers bloomed there and sighed again in his discomfort. " Stay night, stay with me." 

You had no protests to his requests. It was actually quite tranquil in this atmosphere like the both of you had accepted the other as well as the situation. So you gave him the benefit of the doubt and didn't answer, but sat by the side of his bed, hand caressing his cheek, held by his own as he drifted off to sleep. It was the first quiet moment you had in a while. A good few hours past before a gentle knock was heard at the door and a bearded old man walked in, wearing all grey to match his hair. He carried his medicinal plants and vials of dried and grounded powerders in a wooden box. The maids scurried in after him and rubbed his eyes and warmed his hands as he walked over to the sleeping prince's bed. By now, Luhan's hold had loosened you ripped your palm out from under his. The old man looked at the younger one, prying under the covers, running wrinkled hands over veins and feeling the temperature of younger's forehead, only to conclude that one sachet of a murky green powder plus a boiling of some herbs once a day for a week would be enough to suffice the cold. 

The maid ran off to make the strange concoction and returned with a bowl of the liquid, placing it next to the Prince's bedside table. 

"Miss, would you like to feed your Sire?" she held the bowl in two hands, showing respect to you but suddenly, you felt as if youdidn't deserve it. It was nearing the early hours of the morning and the wave of exhaustion from your exploits just hit you like a brick wall. 

"Actually," you got up from your position, sitting on the side of his bed and stretched, "I think you should do it. I'd like to politely excuse myself," you declined her offer. She watched you with a quizzical stare and thought it bizarre for you to reject the opportunity to feed the Prince yourself. She obviously deemed herself too low in the social standing to act out such a privilege from the obvious way she carried herself, but you pondered for a moment and realised you were losing track and getting caught up too.

"I'm leaving the Prince now in safe hands. Goodnight." you said, walking to the door, ready for sleep at any moment. "Goodnight, Miss." the maid echoed, dumbfoundedly. 

You then walked out of the room without so much as a second look as she brought the Prince up to a seated position, waking him up in the process so that he could take his medication. He watched your back, the curve and dips of your frame walk further away from him as his mouth was filled with the bitter liquid, making him almost gag. It was a bitter taste, but not as bitter as the feeling of his chest constricting to the sight he saw as his vision cleared from unconsciousness. Yes, it was your back, your violet robes blurred out of the scene as you slid the door closed behind you. He let the excess that his sore thrcore refused to swallow drip down the corners of his mouth. After the medication was finished he dry-wretched upon reflex. 

There was still a bitter aftertaste in his mouth, no matter how hard he tried to clean it out. It tasted like dry ash, like the first corruption of an auspicious season; like the ruined conclusion of a love that could never begin.

~

Hey guys, I'm so incredibly sorry for neglecting you! It's not because I finally found a life, but because my laptop broke and needed fixing so I had no way of typing up my updates and posting them for you to read. I'm able to manage though, with another devices I found but it makes it difficult for me to put in photos so the chapters now wants have any. I apologise in advance. I'm due to get a new laptop in the coming weeks, but I'm not too sure specifically when. Until then, I'm sorry to say that you'll just have to put up with slower updates. :(

Also, you'll notice shocking mistakes and I'm sorry to say, that because of the iPad I use, it autocorrects the words for me plus I don't have a keyboard so it makes it harder for me to type.

I also have another favour to ask of you readers: and that is to check out my other fanfic I'm writing, called 'Love wil be your Muse'. It's set in the present day and features the maknae line of EXO-K. I hope you enjoy. I'm actually really looking forward to upng that one but I'm not really getting enough input. I'd love to hear your opinions, so the link's down below. Thank you so muchr your time, and once again, I hope you enjoy~ xD!!!!

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/277777/love-will-be-your-muse-romance-you-exo-kai-sehun