“Where the hell have you been? The meeting finished 3 hours ago!” 

You found the girl pulling out her hair in fistfuls as she waited outside the harem doors. It was smart of her to wait in such a place, because she knew that you’d eventually have to return to your quarters but it was careless nonetheless that she didn’t give you a change of clothes which could’ve avoided this entire set-up. The maid was pacing as you reached her and upon seeing your figure, she grabbed you by the arm and dragged you back into the unknown, whilst trying to keep the noise down.

“I got lost.” You mumbled, it was sort of true because you did end up getting lost; what she didn’t know about what caused your lateness would not kill her so you kept your lips sealed as Chen had instructed.

“My GAWD woman!” she turned a sharp corner and then another, “I would’ve thought that a member of our organisation would have a better sense of direction,” she lectured and then finally reached the destination. This place was different to the alcove you went earlier in the night. Obviously she’d moved the location and subsequent clothes to decrease the chances of getting caught. She let go of your arm, still muttering under her breath about your inadequacy as she pulled out a bundle wrapped in rice paper, neatly folded and tucked behind a set of draws. She had to completely shift the wooden stature to grab the package and the push the set of draws back against the wall. It was amazing how she did this so silently, naturally having a lot of experience in this arena.

She handed you the robes and you changed instinctively, handing her the male attire to which she folded and wrapped without question. She fixed your collar and your waist-belt, running her fingers through your hair to make you look less dishevelled after a long night out. Despite her constant reprimanding, it was clear that she honestly cared for you and since you could tell that she was elder, you all of a sudden wondered if she had any younger siblings that she looked after like this. Thinking too thoroughly into her background and her family made you blush at the impertinence. Complete anonymity was the criteria to the both of you working together, you didn’t know anything about her and she had no clue about you either – so the sudden urge to want to know more made you feel as if you’d violated that unspoken agreement.

The darkness masked your bashful expression from her; at this time of the night, the surround was just like any other when you walked around the place without light. It took a while originally for your vision to adjust to the darkness but when it did, you saw objects in blurred shades of monotone. If servants or maids wished to venture out at night, none of the halls were lit with candles because that was too risky for a fire incident, so they’d usually just walk carrying their own lantern to light the path.

“Okay, all good.” She huffed, she then straightened herself and looked you dead in the eye, “next time if you need to leave for something, I’m going to leave the robes in the old place where you hid the map – to save from getting spotted together. It’s getting too risky so you’ll have to change yourself.”

You nodded in response and she waved her hands in a silent gesture to usher you outside. This time you’d leave first because last time it was opposite so that the two of you weren’t leaving at the same time. “Down the hall, two sharp right turns, then a left and you’ll see the harem doors.” She whispered and you rendered the directions to memory. It helped a lot that you had the map in your head as well and you visualised the instructions in a route mirroring the map – realising that the alcove you were currently in was the tea-making room that was used for preparation to bring food to and from quarters which doubled as the break room for the servants.

Knowing where you were going gave you confidence to step out and leave your accomplice in the shadows. You followed her instructions and walked down the silent hall, seeing an intersection open to all four directions – you turned right as instructed and then walked down that hall a bit before turning right again: so a drawn-out ‘U’ turn. The you noticed another corner and turned left to be greeted by a wide expanse of hall with rice-paper doors on each side. ‘Yes!’ you thought, recognising the no longer foreign strip of corridor – you could just taste the safety of your bed. But before you could take another step towards your goal, a figure stepped out of the darkened crevices.

“Anise,” it was a male voice and he breathed the word as if it was filled with life. You froze in your tracks as he stepped closer and closer to you; when he was close enough, you caught sight of his face and in a sharp breath in preparation of the lies and excuses you’d have to use to get yourself out of the sudden situation. ‘He wasn’t supposed to be here!’ you thought, all traces of confidence leaving your system.

His wide, searching eyes looked at you – had he waited outside the harem doors the entire night? What did he think he was doing? “Anise,” he said again, “I needed to see you.”  

Prince Luhan brought a hand up to reach your face and you tensed. Seeing the sudden discomfort, the prince dropped his hand and sighed heavily. “I just wanted to see you.”

Luhan pulled at the collar of his robes and groaned. It was burning and simultaneously freezing at the same time. Was this what love-sickness felt like? The girl he had asked for sat quietly, though inquisitive, concerned. Her shade of indigo didn’t look anything like the violet he’d so wanted, no matter how he looked at it and tried to persuade himself. “Sire, are you alright?” she asked, considerate – this girl was kind and Luhan sat up on his bed, clothes now unkempt, a sheen of sweat on his forehead and hair a mess, “I’m…” he began. He’d never been good at denial and it was evident in the arts he cherished that denial was possibly the best way to get to hell – not the burning inferno, but a place that deviated completely from your values that you’d die a billion deaths to get out from. Luhan’s hell was a place of mediocrity, no colour, austerity and boredom. He couldn’t keep shackling himself up like this, he hadn’t done any of his proposed work and it was all beginning to pile up on him. “I’m… not okay.” He finally spat out as if the words were choking him.

The girl looked at him helplessly, wanting to do something for the Prince who was clearly ill but not knowing what. “Are you sick, your majesty? Would you like me to get you some tea? Sweets?” she asked softly, standing up to make her way to him.

Luhan rose abruptly from his bed and outstretched his palm in a gesture to push her back down. “Stay seated,” his words came out harsh, he didn’t want anyone – anyone but her and the girl almost flinched so he added, “please.”

“Please, just, stay where you are.” He made his way to the door, now across the room from the forlorn girl and gave her a sad, dampened look and in that second the girl knew that nothing she could do would make him feel better. He wished the comfort of another and the girl took it with dignity, pity rising instead of jealousy that he was already affectionate for someone else even though they’d just met.

Prince Luhan coughed roughly as he tried not to trip over his feet, slowly sliding open the door, “I need some fresh air. Don’t wait for me.” He said to her apologetically and then was about to leave when the girl spoke up, smiling at him now, “I won’t…” suddenly surprised by her own boldness, her smile grew as she continued, standing up now, “I hope you feel better. Goodnight, sire.”

A sad smile reciprocated on Luhan’s lips as he nodded in acknowledgement. “Goodnight,” he said one last time before leaving his room. The girl sighed into the empty room at the Princes departure and after smiling softly to herself, she got up and left as well.

His steps were sullen and heavy, the staggering gait of a drunkard. When the maid had come to ask for his request and he’d found out the colour he’d wanted was already taken, he felt his chest spasm uncomfortably. It wasn’t that he was angry at Xiumin (who he thought had chosen Anise) but more that he didn’t even know what to feel. She’d have to return to the harem quarters sooner or later and he’d be waiting. Even if she spent the night with him, Luhan would be the one who was there waiting. He’d be there. Till the very end – because he couldn’t keep denying it, he didn’t want to go to his hell. A place of no colour, no vitality; a place where you weren’t there by his side.

“Prince… Luhan” you managed to stutter out his name as he had wanted you to call him by and you noticed his smile in response. Noticing him closer now, you saw how pale he was, how he was staggering in his steps and sweated resulting in his messy hair sticking to his features. His breath was heavy and you could tell he was not feeling well. “Sire, are you feeling alright?” – switching back to formality and Luhan frowned.

But before he could say anything, you reached your palm up to his forehead and a cool tremble ran down Luhan’s spine as the coldness of your palm soothed his burning skin. It was on fire and since you had been outside and stressing, your extremities were naturally cold and he pressed his face further into your hand. It must because of his fever that he wasn’t thinking straight and you sighed in relief that he wasn’t himself which justified his strange actions. You pulled your hand away and decided to take him to his room, but he grabbed at your hand and squeezed it tightly. He thought you were going to leave.

“Don’t,” he pleaded and you looked away at the sudden attack of emotion.

“Alright, alright” you were now talking to him as if he were a child, it was easier to treat him that way. “Luhan, listen now, I’m going to take you to your room and we’ll get a doctor or someone in to take a good look at you.”

Luhan shook his head and fell a little, but you managed to catch onto him, slinging on of his arms over your shoulder and wrapping yours around his waist. “Come on,” you cooed, walking now in the direction of his room – from what you remembered on the map. Now instead of walking towards your goal of a warm bed, you were walking away from it. You sighed, what a troublesome day.

Unbeknown to you, a certain someone stood in the shadows and watched the commotion. He had been roaming the halls as he often did, going where his legs took him, paying no particular attention to any specifics when he realised that his legs had brought him to the harem quarters. Looking amusedly at his surroundings, he noticed someone else in the darkness. He frowned with worry as he was about to approach his brother who looked like he couldn’t stand up straight but was stopped in his tracks when a girl appeared from the other side of the corridor. He thought it better not to say anything but somehow, his legs wouldn’t budge to leave the two to their privacy. It was that girl. So he watched from the shadows, his fan flicking to and fro till at last when you carried Luhan away, he snapped it shut with a firm twist of his wrist.

This was going to get interesting.