Disclaimer:  Characters? Yeah, still not mine. Chapter title came from Manic Street Preacher's song Doors Closing Slowly

Donghae felt like he was living underwater. Everything seems slow and far away. He was aware of the world up there, a sunlit quick world where time runs like dry sand through an hourglass, but down here, where he was, air and sound and time and feeling are thick and dense.

He could sense a man trying to calm himself by taking deep long breaths, but it did not seem to be working. He was near Donghae and he remained for several minutes. His last words were echoing in Donghae's mind like a ed up busted record "Take it from someone who has fallen... it's a long way down." 

By now, Donghae was able to connect the voice with a face. Of course he would. There was only one person he knw who have such a calm and serene voice. He wouldn't be dub as 'art-like' voice for nothing. Fishy had learn that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep their silence hurt more. And so it proved to be Yesungie's case. He could only imagine the suffering that his hyung went through. Going through all that with no one to pull him back. 

Donghae wanted to cry but he didn't, he couldn't. He probably should have cried, he should have drowned both of them in that room ending their agony.

--

"If you had succeeded, I would not get mad at you." Donghae felt another person sitting beside him. He wasn't sure how long ago since Yesung spoke to him, because he found himself blacking out in periods of time and there was no way to measure how long were these exactly. He could tell that this person had been crying too since he didn't seem to have control of his emotions. "I wouldn't blame you nor put it against you..." he admitted solemnly, his voice cracking. This person was holding his unmoving hand that were strapped into various tubes and what-nots. His head was probably leaning very close to him since he could feel everytime a teardrop falls from his face. 

 "I would be devastated, of course. You're one of my favorite hyungs after all. But, because I know that... I trust you to think everything over... that perhaps this is what will make you happy and your happiness is all that matters. To me. To us." he continued. Donghae's head fluttered for a moment: it was Kibummie. The soft spoken, kind-hearted and ever so sweet and polite Kibum. A lot of people misunderstood the particular member since he doesn't really talk much and something about his eyes: some say it's cold, some say it's genuinely sad. In the idol world, those kinds of descriptions wouldn't particularly invite positive reactions from people. 

"But I hope you pull through this... " he sobbed never letting go of Donghae's hand. If anything, Donghae felt that he was squeezing it tighter.  Tighter and tighter still. "Please, I'm begging you to fight... I'm not sure if you can hear me at all, but I know you're there. You're still there..." he said firmly, more of reassuring himself. "There's nothing you can't handle, you told that once, right? If you can't do it for yourself, please do it for us. For your hyung and umma..."

He was quiet for a few minutes, but still he did not let go of the older's hand. Donghae thought that Kibum was doing it more for his own benefit than him. Like it was a lifeline that held both of them together, that once broken, both of them would be hauled into darkness.

Donghae wanted to turn his head to Kibummie's direction, to open his eyes and look to the distraught face of his dongsaeng. He was learning more about his friends/brothers and seeing sides of them that he had never witness before. It was heartbreaking yet he could not help the tingle of hope that these people were rubbing on him. He wanted to wake up. But only to say goodbye properly.

Donghae heard the door open and heavy foosteps soon intermingle with Kibum's sobs.

"You should rest, Kibum..." he heard a man said. Donghae was positive it was Siwon, though the lightness in his tone and the sound of words being said with a smile: all those were gone. What was left was a horrible hollow voice. He never imagined that Donghae will even live through a day that he'll hear Siwon sound like that. "Everyone is praying for him... I know, even Heenim." he let out an empty laugh. "That's why I'm sure he'll wake up soon... I know that God wouldn't let him get out of this life like that. He wouldn't let Donghae leave us in so much pain." 

Still Kibum did not show of any intention of moving. Donghae could still feel him breathing and crying and his grasp getting tighter. "Then I want to be here when he wakes up..."

And just as Donghae was sure that his hands couldn't be more numb, he felt the room went suddenly cold. He was vaguely aware of Kibummie's scream, of Siwon's gasp, of probably thousand hurried steps as people stormed through the room, of a woman's voice wailing out his name, of numerous hands working through the different machines that still extends his life, of a strong pair of hands detaching Kibum's grasp from his, of a horrible electronic monotone sound that could only mean one thing: A flatline.

Then there was only silence.

forgive me for this. :'(

PS. First par., is loosely based on Audrey Niffeneger's The Time Traveler's Wife

**I made some changes/additions on the 9th chap because my #1 critique, (my 10yr.old sister) pointed out a major flaw >_<