Disclaimer:  Characters? Nope. Still not mine.

Donghae was having, again, a bad case of 3:00 am guilts - you know, when you lie in bed awake and replay all those things you didn't do right? Because, as we all know, nothing solves sleeplessness like a nice warm glass of regret, depression and self-loathing.

Honestly, here I am, with my days literally numbered, watching the still sleeping figure of one of my brothers, all the while making an absolute idiot of myself to the people who truly cared for me.

He threw a half-glanced to the door that Sungmin just left open. I made it easier for you guys to leave by making you hate me a little, he mentally convinced himself. Feeling fully awake now, he tried to get up from the bed, taking a hold of all stable surfaces he could reach. After some wobbly and noisy minutes (which thankfully, did not wake up Ryeowook) he started to walk, dragging his dextrose-stand with him.

He passed by the ante-room, which Donghae noticed became a sort of ‘Super Junior Dormitory’ extension judging by the makeshift beds and portable cabinets and some living-quarter essentials. Sungmin’s peaceful sleeping figure was sprawled comfortably in the airbed, while beside him, in a rather sore sitting position was Kyuhyun - an open laptop with orange blinking light propped against his legs. Obviously the evil-maknae fell asleep while playing one of his games again. Somehow this made Donghae smile a little, Good to know that despite everything that has happened, some things still haven’t changed.

Across the room, on an average-sized canary-coloured couch, were Yesung hyung, Leeteuk hyung and Donghwa hyung, all fast asleep. How they managed to fall asleep in that little space will forever be a mystery to Donghae.

Before he could reach the door, a peculiar figure caught his eyes. Actually not peculiar-peculiar, but more on an out-of-place kind of peculiar. It was Ddangkkoma’s cage. What are you doing here? He stared at the land turtle who in turn accepted his challenge of a no-blinking game. A groan almost escaped his lips, if that turtle answers you, what’s your plan?

After some quick thinking, he decided that being an idol, Yesung hyung must’ve pulled some strings in this hospital in order to bring Ddangkkoma inside. Yesung hyung probably resolved to stay with Donghae until his last...

Ignoring his uneasiness that the noise might wake someone up, he advanced to the turtle until he was close enough to see his reflection in the lighted glass cage.  Hi there little guy, Donghae nodded at Yesung’s favourite pet I’m sorry I wasn’t able to say goodbye to you. But here’s my chance now, so yeah, goodbye…? Please take care of your boss for me. 

Ddangkkoma blinked twice. I always knew you could understand me, Donghae's smiled.

If only the members and his hyung could understand him like Ddangkkoma. Was it so hard to realize that Donghae did all these for the good of everyone?

He half-walk, half-drag himself out of the room. His legs were a little too uncooperative probably because it was out of practice for a time; either that or his extremities were on the verge of shutting off on account of his impending doom. He made a quite noisy exit but the snoozing people must be all too tired for their own good that no one even stirred a bit even if he accidentally knocked a half-filled laundry basket on his way out.

Donghae walked on in the dimly-lit empty hall, the solitary sound of his footsteps echoing in his head, as in a deserted street, at dawn. His solitude was so complete, surrounded by bland white walls as mellow and serene as a good conscience, amid that busy throng, that he was amazed at his own existence; he must be somebody else’s nightmare, and whoever it was would certainly awaken soon.

The halls were empty and his slow pace was resonating from end to end. Donghae took his time, he was not in any hurry considering that his time was literally numbered.

He ended up in the hospital garden and settled in one of the few low benches near the fountain. The cool night air was crisp and calm; the sky was pitch black. The night was at its darkest when morning is near.

He was freezing but it was the kind of chill that has the calming effect. He closed his eyes, letting the moment sink into his thoughts. A lot of things have happened, a lot of things he had learned but he was in the point-of-no-return. I've crossed some kind of invisible line, Donghae thought. I feel as if I've come to a place I never thought I'd have to come to. And I don't know how I got here. It's a strange place. It's a place where a little harmless dreaming and then some sleepy, early-morning talk has led me into considerations of death and annihilation.

He felt like a butter that was stretched in too much bread, like he was given a lot but there was no way he could enjoy it. He felt like he was either on the cusp of something great, or standing on the edge of his abyss, discovering something brand new, or uncovering somebody else’s lost imagination.

 It's not an expiration date, Donghae finally realized at long last, it is nothing but a second chance.