chapter nineteen [2/2]

The overwhelming want and need to kill Minho amidst his fit of rage and emotional instability proved to be too much. The pain of the memories he acquired was practically eating him alive, searing into his bones, crushing him to his very core. He just wanted the pain to stop and for a while he believed that if he finished him off, then everything would be right again in his world. But then his phone rang, his gaze fixing on Jaejoong's name blinking across the screen when he fished it out of his pockets, jolting him out of his thoughts that were aimed at destruction and death.

The beauty was the very reason why he wanted to end Minho. He clearly remembered that cursed night at the hotel room as if it was yesterday and the insane urge to rip his brother limb from limb continued to take center stage in his mind. However, as he stared at his lover's name, the memories they shared, the promises he made that blissful night when Jaejoong made love to him and marked him as his slowly filled and tamed his chaotic heart.

He had promised to live each day solely for him, that he would do everything in his power to become someone he could be proud of; to not regress to the assassin, the cold-blooded murderer that he once was. He vowed never to take another life. Jaejoong trusted him to make true to his word and so far he hasn't done anything to betray that trust.

For nights, he had been plagued by nightmares of his past killings. Overridden with guilt and self-hatred, Jaejoong was always there for him, picking him up, supporting him, loving him. He hasn't changed in the least. He was still the same gentle and kind boy of his past and Yunho found himself loving him that much more. Yunho felt his hatred slowly abate. He didn't want to do anything that could potentially make him unworthy of Jaejoong's love.

He felt torn. He wanted to go back to him, to preferably forget about everything that happened in the past. It would be the less painful route to take. But no matter how much he tried, he couldn't fully dismiss Minho's crime. He might not have to personally shed his blood, but he was gonna make sure that he paid for his sins one way or another.

The moment he thought of his human template, the dire urge to go to his grave engulfed his entire being. It was already midnight when he sneaked into the cemetery. It didn't take long before he found the tombstone with his name engraved on it. After searching for a shovel from the cemetery's tool shed, he began digging through the soil until he reached the unmistakable thump of the coffin. Jumping into the hole he created, he opened the lid. The second he saw the original Jung Yunho's lifeless body, he fell to his knees, a sharp exhale leaving his lungs.

Carefully reaching out to him, he traced the dead man's closed eyelids, down to his cheeks and onto his mouth all the while getting vivid recollections of all the wrongful events that took place in his life.

Yunho's heart went out to him, to this pure soul that was always thirsty for love, both from the people he called his parents and Jaejoong. His eyes stung with fresh tears, the very thought bringing him profound sadness in his heart. He understood a bit clearer now. The way he craved to love and to be loved even when he was still a mindless puppet inside the agency, they must have been the residual emotions of Jung Yunho that he inherited.

It was an emotion that had been too integrated into his psyche, into his very DNA that despite how perfect he was genetically engineered, bred to have no emotions, it still surfaced that the first chance he witnessed love and affection with his very eyes, he couldn't help but be drawn to it.

Pulling the lifeless body against his chest, Yunho cradled him in his arms, apologies falling from his lips amidst his silent tears. "I'm sorry, but I promise you I will bring your murderer to justice." he vowed, determination coursing through his veins. "And thank you," he added, exceeding grateful. "... for giving me this chance to meet and love Jaejoong. I swear that I will take care of him. I will make him happy and love him for as long as I live."

"I don't doubt you will." A gentle voice said in the night air. Yunho slowly lifted his head, mildly surprised upon hearing his own voice talk back to him. He couldn't fully comprehend what he was seeing, just that he was gazing at something surrounded by radiant white light. "You're me after all, Yunho." The glowing figure, who he now could tell looked to be physically a younger version of himself, reached out and enveloped him in a warm embrace. That one simple gesture brought such tranquility and peace in his heart. His eyes gradually felt heavy and they slipped shut as he basked in the serenity of the other's presence. "Please send my love to Jaejoong."

With those parting words, the young man began to fade in his arms, his glowing light suffusing into his body. When Yunho opened his eyes, it took a while before he recalled where he was. An indescribable sense of completeness enclosed his entire being. Looking down at the body in his arms, he touched his chest, feeling his heart beat strongly within. For the first time ever since he found out the truth, he felt as if he and Jung Yunho were one and the same.

Slowly, a plan formed in his mind. He had to focus on the task at hand. If he made contact with Jaejoong, he knew that he would most likely come running back to his arms. He couldn't afford to get distracted, but once this was all over, he would go back to his side first thing and never ever leave him again.

Eventually, a smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. He had a half-brother to visit and scare out of his mind.


**
 

"Minho, what's with you? You're so damn jumpy!" The young woman with an abundant amount of make-up plastered on her face irately wiped at the wet patch on her dress courtesy of her lousy date spilling wine across the table. She glared at her date, sneering upon finding out how he wasn't looking at her. "Yah! Are you even listening to me?"

Abruptly turning his head, Minho almost knocked over the bottle of expensive champagne itself with how much his hands were shaking. "I-I'm sorry. I'll pay for the dry cleaning."

"You better be." the woman declared, tilting her chin up spitefully. She frowned however noticing Minho's pale palour. "Minho-sshi, are you okay? You look like you saw a ghost."

Minho gulped down what was left of his wine. "I have to use the bathroom." he excused, briskly walking to the high end hotel's lavatory as if invisible piranhas were chomping at his shirttails. Once he was inside, he rushed to the sink and quickly splashed water onto his face, willing his racing heart to slow down.

Ever since he left his apartment that morning, he could already feel eyes boring into his skull. On the way to work, he could've sworn he saw Yunho crossing across the street at a stop light. He was even dressed in what he was sure to be his burial suit. Then when he walked out of the company elevator after he rode it in going up to his office, it only took him a few steps before he was forced to turnabout, completely startled upon hearing a very familiar voice.

When he looked towards the elevator, his heart nearly gave out when he saw Yunho again, glaring straight at him before the double-doors closed. He saw him one more time during lunch at the cafeteria sitting a few tables away. When the man stood up and strolled out, Minho chased after him, but he simply disappeared right after turning a corner.

Minho was certain his mind was merely playing tricks on him and yet, he couldn't shake off the anxiety in his heart. And tonight, when he thought he could finally have fun and relax on a date, he ing saw him again. Bracing his arms on the sink, Minho took a very much needed intake of breath. "Get a grip Minho! He's dead. He's not real."

"You sure about that?"

Minho's head shot up, eyes nearly bugging out of their sockets at the image he was seeing on the mirror. His mouth opened and closed as he effectively turned white as sheet. "Y-Yunho..."

The apparition smirked and slowly took steps towards him. Minho whirled around, his wide, terror-stricken gaze fixed on the other's frame. "You can't hurt me! You're not real!"

A cruel smile grazed the man's lips as he backed him up against the bathroom sink. "Oh, but I am dear dongsaeng. I'm as real as I wanna be." His voice was cold, eyes haunting and hateful. "Comes with the perks of being dead."

A hand sprang forth to curl around his neck, squeezing hard. Minho fought for air, but it was a futile attempt. "Tell umma and appa what really happened that night Minho-yah," the grip on his neck tightened as he desperately tried to escape from the crushing hold, but it was no use. He was running out of oxygen. "Or I'll haunt you for the rest of your miserable life!"

The last thing Minho saw were a pair of narrowed golden crescent-shaped irises penetrating into his very soul.
 

**


Yunho nearly didn't want to let go of his half-brother's neck. It was too tempting to just snap the damn thing and get it over with, but he resolutely reminded himself of his promises to Jaejoong. Once Minho fainted, Yunho let him drop and fled the men's room, leaving him passed out on the cold, tiled bathroom floor. Jumping through an opened window from the fourth floor, he landed solidly on the ground. He looked up at the hotel one more time before running towards Seoul's streets, blending in with the rest of the citizens of his motherland.
 

**


Mr. Kim had been discharged the previous night and their mother, after days of sticking to her husband like glue finally relented upon hearing him request to spend some time alone with his son. It surely was a first for the elder Kim to show any kind of interest on Jaejoong and Mrs. Kim was only too happy to finally see her husband regard and treat him like a father should. Jaejoong was supposed to fetch him and bring him to their apartment the next day.

Their mother was still ignorant of Junsu's existence. Mr. Kim deemed it best that she remained oblivious until he had everything sorted out. Jaejoong's initial questions for him at the hospital when Mrs. Kim was out of the room about the agency and the top hybrid assassin Yunho X5 had clearly rattled the scientist. When Jaejoong told him of Yunho's severe headaches and his claims of seeing faces in his mind before his sudden disappearance, it was after sharing that information did Mr. Kim request to talk with him in private, promising to reveal everything he knew about Yunho and the agency. Jaejoong was positive that his father had all the answers.

"Hyung, you don't look too well. You sure you're gonna be fine fetching Appa?" Junsu's arms were locked around him, chin propped on his shoulder as they cuddled on the plush living room couch waiting for Yoochun to finish dressing up. "I can call Changmin to accompany Yoochun instead. I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

Caressing the hand around his waist, Jaejoong leaned against his embrace, eyes closing. "I'll be fine Junsu-yah and Changmin has a shop to run. I don't wanna bother him. We've been inconveniencing him a lot lately."

"I'm just worried hyung." Junsu countered. "You've barely eaten anything these past few days and you always look so sad ever since Yunho left." Opening his eyes, Jaejoong stared glumly at the ceiling. Giving his baby brother a reason to worry over him was the last thing he wanted to do, yet no matter how much he convinced himself that Yunho would come home soon, he still felt morose and had the tendency to space out thinking about his lover.

His behavior a few days ago had been worrisome and it continued to scare him to think what if Yunho never came back; that whatever it was he was going through proved to be too much and he'd rather choose to end his life? He wasn't meant to be an emotional wreck. What if he couldn't handle it?

"I'm sorry for being a pain baby brother. But really, I'll be fine." Jaejoong assured, trying to deal with the situation like an adult. He was undeniably afraid over his lover's safety and state of mind, but he also that knew that crying like a helpless girl wouldn't help him any.

"I love you, hyung." Junsu said, hugging him tighter. "Yoochunnie, Changmin and I. And I'm sure Yunho loves you just as much too. There's no doubt about how much he's inlove with you. So cheer up ne? He'll be back soon. You'll see."

A small smile pulled the corners of his mouth, heart warming from his brother's attempts of brightening his mood. "I know baby." he said, turning gently to snake his own arms around Junsu's frame. "Thank you." Resting his face on his neck, Jaejoong released a hopeful sigh. "You're right. He loves me. He won't leave me hanging like this."

"That's the spirit!" Junsu cheered.

Jaejoong often found himself on the threshold of breaking down, but he always held himself back. He had to have faith, trust that Yunho loved him enough to come back to him; and if he did, he'd be there to help figure out whatever it was that's been weighing him down, together. He was more than willing to support him every step of the way. He just wished that Yunho would realize that and return to him soon.

"Jae, you ready?" Yoochun asked, making himself known by his spot by the living room entrance. He'd been watching for a while and didn't want to interrupt the moment the brothers were sharing, but one look at his watch reminded him that they had an appointment today to fetch Mr. Kim from the manor.

Pulling back from the embrace, Jae gave his best friend a small nod. He stood up from the couch, but not before kissing his brother on the forehead. "We'll be right back. Don't wander out of the house okay?"

"You know I won't. I'm excited to see Appa again!" Junsu cheerfully replied to which Jaejoong ruffled his hair, chuckling at his exuberance.

"Yeah, I can see that."

Yoochun crouched beside Junsu, hand on the back of his nape before the younger man felt a kiss against his temple. A cute pout formed on his face as he looked at his lover. "That was it?"

Yoochun blinked, unsure. "Well, the atmosphere was pretty serious just now and I didn't think--"

Without further ado, Junsu remedied the situation as he pulled his lover's face down to meet his awaiting lips. Their eyes unceremoniously fluttered close the moment Yoochun started kissing back, deepening the intimate contact.

Jaejoong watched in silence.

He was truly happy for the both of them, yet seeing the obvious love they had for each other served as a painful reminder of Yunho's absence. He cleared his throat, a sad yet amused smile on his face."Any day now kids."

The two lovebirds reluctantly pulled apart, a sheepish smile adorning their features. Yoochun coughed, a tint of pink on his cheeks. "Errr, sorry." Junsu giggled beside him and fully let his hold over Yoochun go. "Sorry, hyung."

"I understand." Jaejoong grinned and ruffled Junsu's hair one more time before turning around. "Let's go Chunnie."

His thoughts almost instantly went back to Yunho, achingly aware of his lover's missing presence by his side. Yunho used to follow him around, showering him with affection every chance he could get. He especially loved kissing Jaejoong as if he couldn't get enough of his sweet taste. Yunho's favorite thing to do to pass the time was hold him against his chest, snake his arms around his waist and pour cheesy lines into his ear that Jaejoong knew without a doubt Yunho picked up from his walking block of cheese of a best friend.

Jaejoong drew in a deep breath full of longing. Yunho always made him feel safe, desired and loved. Yes, Yunho wouldn't possibly leave him without a valid reason. However, a spark of doubt continued to taint his heart. How hard was it to make a single phone call or a text message? They haven't had any contact with him for days.

Just where the hell was he?
 

**


Sneaking into his family's estate at 10:00 in the evening didn't even cause him to break a sweat. He remembered were most of the security cameras were situated and the new ones were easy enough to find. The guards at their posts were either deaf or he was just that silent in his infiltration. Then again, stealth was where he excelled at, not to mention he was a genetically engineered human hybrid. He really shouldn't be surprised at all.

Making sure that nobody was inside the bedroom that he used to occupy, Yunho picked the window lock and swung inside, landing steadily on both feet. He put extra caution in his steps as he moved around the room in search of a particular item. If the stunt he pulled at Minho didn't provide the desired results, Yunho would ensure that he had another means to reveal the truth about his death; a back-up plan. It was pitch black dark inside. However with his night vision activated, he was still getting a clear picture of the area.

A spark of familiarity blossomed in his chest as his gaze swept the four corner of the bedroom. He shook his head, choosing to ignore the sense of nostalgia clawing at his mind. He didn't wanna be a part of this family anymore. As much as he missed his mother and cousin, he was dead to them and he would rather it stay that way.

His reasons for stealing and having his original's body cremated were purely self-serving. Other than taking his clothes to scare Minho, at the back of his mind, he still had doubts regarding the agency's downfall. Just to be on the safe side, Yunho merely made certain that there was only to be one of him in the system. If by an unfortunate of luck the agency's still in the works then he would take his place back in the Jung family.

He'd hide behind the power and the name whilst making plans to crush those bastards once and for all. He really hoped it wouldn't come to that however. He didn't want to go through all the hassle of making up a story as to how he was still alive when the last time his family saw him, he was very much dead. He didn't want the headache.

"Where is it?" Yunho growled as he pulled away from his closet, getting irritated at the possibility that his search would prove to be futile. Years had passed. The chances of his cellphone still working let alone being in this room were undeniably slim. Though everything in the room appeared to haven't been changed, was there really a probability that his phone was in here? Did that thing even survive the car crash?

The sound of footsteps approaching alerted Yunho early enough for him to be able to hide and escape to the adjoining bathroom. Slipping through the door, he heard the switch being and the whole room was bathed in light. Peeking through the gap, Yunho had to bite the inside of his cheek hard to prevent himself calling out his cousin's name.

He watched as Tiffany sat on the bed and pulled one of his drawers, gaze widening a fraction when she took out his sketchpad; the very same one that's been his safe haven and escape for many years. Yunho felt a lump block his throat. His sketches of Jaejoong, they were still there.

"Oppa, did you know that Jaejoong-ssi went to your burial? I was really surprised to see him there."

A small, reminiscent smile made it's way to Yunho's lips, clearly recalling the tidal wave of emotions he experienced that day. He doubted Tiffany's surprise could even reach a quarter of what he had went through. He continued to listen to the girl as she raged about how he should have been Jaejoong's boyfriend if he hadn't been so slow. The irony that the very 'ahjussi' she was upset about being Jaejoong's boyfriend, actually being him wasn't lost on him.

Minutes passed until Yunho could barely stand it anymore. He hated waiting there as Tiffany talked to his supposedly dead self with tears running down her cheeks. The strong urge to talk to her & coddle her just like the old times almost won over his heart until she mentioned his father's plans of finding Jaejoong.

Yunho froze at her words. He suddenly, desperately wanted to go back to him. He couldn't allow his father to reveal who he used to be before he even had the chance to talk to Jaejoong himself. His father didn't have any right. He felt at a dilemma. On one hand he wanted to go back home, yet there still was the issue of his old phone. Taking his cell out of his pocket, he struggled to remember his old number. If he got it right, then he could probably find it.

Why didn't he think of that earlier?

It was quite the surprise when the sound of his old ring tone filled the room. Yunho was soon mentally cursing his advanced genes for getting the number right on the first try. His gaze followed Tiffany's movements as she diligently searched the room. He was about to end the call, but decided against it, an idea hitting him that if she found his old phone, then that should make things easier for him. She squealed in triumph and he caught sight of the mobile in her hands. Yunho couldn't almost believe what he was seeing. His phone was still in good condition.

"Yoboseyo?"

Yunho swallowed hard. Hearing her voice directly against his ear was enough to break what little control he had over keeping his mouth shut. Just one last time, he wanted to talk to her and touch her again. "Tiffany-yah, I see eomma and appa still hasn't gotten rid of my phone." he replied into the receiver, giving in to his heart for the time being.

"Y-yun... oppa?"

Clicking the end call button, Yunho stepped out of the bathroom and gathered her into his arms from behind. He felt her whole body tense, a sharp gasp ripping out of . Yunho fought against his tears. This would be the last embrace they were ever going to share. "I love you, you brat. Say hi to mom for me."

For a second Tiffany stilled before Yunho felt her turning in his grasp. Tears spilled down her cheeks as she slowly brought shaking fingers to his face. "Oppa?" she choked out in a sob, disbelief clear in her watery eyes.

Yunho smiled down at her and gently touched his lips to her forehead. "Goodbye." he quietly murmured before he pressed a couple pressure points on her neck causing for Tiffany to fall limp in his arms. Pulling back, he took the mobile in her hand and stashed it away to his pant's pocket. He placed Tiffany gently on the bed and proceeded to caress her beautiful face. He almost picked up his sketchpad, but withdrew his hand halfway.

Jaejoong was his now. He didn't need to constantly admire him from the distance or through his sketches anymore. With one last eye sweep of his bedroom, Yunho left his family's estate never looking back.

His home, his family, his future was with Jaejoong.
 

**


Mr. Kim had revealed everything there was to know about the agency and Yunho. He came bearing a memory card and had inserted it to their computer. The evidence that Mr. Kim had been collecting about the operations that took place within the agency hadn't been lost. All the necessary information that they needed, everything was jammed into the tiny device. Three hours ago, slowly but surely, everything had been unfolded right before their very eyes.

Sitting forlornly on the dining room table, Jaejoong gulped down his fourth glass of alcohol, needing some form of solace, an escape from the deep sense of loss and heartache swallowing him whole. He hastily rubbed his cheeks when he felt hot tears roll down his face again completely out of his control. He was so ing tired of crying.

He just wanted to find Yunho, drag him back home and never let him out of his sight again, but Junsu and Yoocun wouldn't let him out to perform a search. For the first time, he hated his brother's impeccable strength.

"Yunho-yah, why didn't you just tell me?" Jaejoong brokenly murmured to no one in particular, head hanging in between his shoulders, sobs escaping from his throat. "Bear, please come home."


--

A/N: Sorry for the slight delay on this one, I blame YunJae for my phail XD Thanks so much for all the comments everyone. Your wonderful comments are like food to me <3333 They give me strength to write. What do you guys think of the new chapter? Like it? Hate it? Very confusing? O_O *is shot* Feedbacks, keep 'em coming ;DDDD