Chapter 17
Project Yunho
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"There's no use trying to dig up on that Sunnie. I'm safe. I'm okay. Stop thinking about it." Yoochun reasoned for the umpteenth time, trying to persuade the other man to give his apparent need to get back at his kidnappers a rest. "If you're really planning to go through with your ridiculous ideas, you're only going to put yourself in danger. And I don't want that!"
Hunched on the bed, Junsu lifted his gaze as sharp penetrating eyes bore into his lover's. "You know I can't just ignore what happened Yoochun ah. What if they tried to capture you again? And I wasn't there? What then?"
They've been having this argument for the past three hours. The fact that they were supposed to go to Junsu's grave today, and visit Mr. Kim at the hospital, didn't seem to hinder the young hybrid from constantly stressing of what occurred the week before. "This argument is over. I'm not letting you go there just to get yourself killed." Memories of the first time he lost him ten years ago raged in his mind and Yoochun instantly felt tears prickle his eyes at the reminder. "Again."
Seeing the other's distraught expression, Junsu felt his heart clench. He's always hated seeing Yoochun depressed the most. Releasing a heavy breath, finally, he stood up from his spot and held onto the other, arms circling around his waist.
"I just got you back Sunnie." Yoochun muttered brokenly, enveloping him in his embrace. "Please, understand."
"I'm sorry." Junsu replied by his ear, giving his back soothing caresses. "I'm just worried okay?"
"I know you are." Yoochun pulled back and palmed Junsu's face, his eyes glassy from unshed tears. "But I can't afford to loose you. Not now. Not ever." Just the thought alone was already killing him. "Promise me. Promise me you won't go looking for any more trouble. I've been miserable all these years without you Su. I'd die if you leave me again. Promise me!"
Junsu knew in his heart that he wasn't going to leave Yoochun's kidnapping lying around. He may not choose to act as of the meantime, but that didn't change the fact that he was gonna get to the bottom of things one way or another soon.
"I promise." Junsu replied, wiping the tears that trickled down Yoochun's cheeks as he forced a smile, telling him what he wanted to hear. "You're such a crybaby. Cheer up hmm?" Not bothering to wait for a response, he pulled Yoochun forward for a deep kiss, basking in the warmth that he had missed for so many years. And just like that, Yoochun's tears subsided.
When they broke apart for air, Yoochun was looking at him with hooded eyes as he wiped the faint smear of saliva on Junsu's lower lip, another wave of arousal washing over him. It was only last night when they made love. And the day before. And the day before that. But no matter how many times he's had Junsu writhing beneath him, shaking in his embrace from so much pleasure these past few wonderful days, he didn't think he'd ever get enough of him.
"I want you." Yoochun muttered huskily before capturing Junsu's mouth in another searing kiss, hands unceremoniously traveling down the other's back, groping and squeezing his perfect behind to which Junsu let out a soft whimper in approval.
"I want you too. Chun..." Junsu rasped out the obvious amidst their lip lock, rotating his hips against Yoochun's own, feeling the prominent hardness there. Yoochun moved forward while Junsu retreated a few steps back to make room for him. The bed dipped with their sudden weight as they didn't waste any time in getting pieces of their clothing discarded one by one.
"Mhrn-ahh..." Junsu moaned in delight, fingers threading through Yoochun's soft locks, feeling his lover's hot mouth descend on him as he began planting biting kisses from his neck down to his chest.
Having Yoochun so close to him again, Junsu couldn't help but feel the sudden stinging of tears in his eyes, recalling the last few moments he had in his previous life. The misery he felt knowing that he was never going to make it out of the burning house alive, that he wouldn't be able to see his Jaejoong-hyung, his appa, his umma, and of course his Yoochun. In his dying breath, he was calling out for his best friend's name. He never wanted to leave him. His family.
But it became clear to him back then, that it was the end.
And yet now.
"Yoochun ah." Junsu murmured, pulling his lover's face up to look into those warm eyes, caressing his cheek, tears blurring his vision. "Thank you. For taking care of Jaehyung... and for still loving me... after all this years."
Yoochun's gaze softened as he smiled lovingly down at the man that owned his heart, kissing the tears that tricked down the side of his face. "You had my heart from the very start Su. It beats for you. It will love only you. Nothing's gonna change that."
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"Did you have last minute ?" Changmin asked, directing the couple a lopsided smirk upon noticing their crumpled clothes, messy hair, the thoroughly ed expression that Junsu was wearing and of course Yoochun's erted, naughty grin.
"Blame it on Sunnie. He kissed me first. Then..." Yoochun giggled like a completely smitten fool. "You know the rest."
Junsu rolled his eyes, smacking him playfully on the forehead "It's a good thing I heal fast or I wouldn't be able to walk by now."
Yoochun pouted, hand unceremoniously massaging the sore spot on his beloved face. "But Susu. I love making love to you."
"I swear, you're getting a mile greasier and mushier with each passing second." Junsu said, shaking his head lightly, the corner of his mouth quirking into smile. Yoochun's declaration half an hour ago. It filled his heart so much with that warm, fuzzy feeling.
"But you loved me being greasssyyyyyyyyy." Yoochun whined, lower lip jutting out.
Changmin chuckled, amused with the huge change in both men. He was happy seeing Yoochun finally act like a lovestruck teenage girl. It sure beats the intimidating aura he usually emitted before. And Junsu. He has been acting very much human now that he's gotten his brother and best friend back. Yes they were all aware that Junsu was made but it no longer held any signifance. A result of an experiment or not. What mattered was he was alive. To them, Junsu has been reborn.
"Anyway Is Jaejoong-hyung and Yunho ready yet?" Junsu asked in wonder, noticing their absence. He had thought that Yoochun and him were to be the last to assemble in the living room since of course Yoochun's hands wandered into places they shouldn't be wandering to so early in the morning. But it seemed like his brother and Yunho were more late.
"I think they're doing the same thing you two just did." Changmin replied with a snort, head cocking to the direction of the other bedroom. "I heard moans and groans earlier when I was about to knock. I deemed it best not to disturb them."
Without warning, the bedroom door suddenly burst wide open revealing a grave looking Jaejoong walking briskly across the living room as he rushed towards the direction of the kitchen. Sharing triple confused gazes, the other three followed the older male. Yoochun and Junsu jogged to his side, wearing twin concerned expressions while Changmin stayed put by the entry way, leaning against the wall, content of just watching the other two worry over their hyung.
They were his brother and bestfriend. They were enough to calm down the seemingly alarmed Jaejoong.
"He's in pain. He said his head is burning. I don't know what to do anymore." Jaejoong's distressed voice reached Changmin's ears, making him whip his gaze to the bedroom's direction. "It suddenly happened! He just dropped to the floor, clutching his head. I've noticed that he's been having headaches the past few days but never to this extent."
Taking the painkillers off the medicine cabinet, Jaejoong grabbed the water container on the table and quickly rushed back to the bedroom. Just like before, the other three followed. Once they were inside the room, there they saw Yunho on the bed, curled into a fetal position, groaning and , appearing to be in a great deal of pain.
"What's wrong with him?" Junsu asked, brows furrowed. He too was feeling concern for the other hybrid. Yunho might have been a very dangerous assassin at one point in his life but he knew well by now that his Jaejoong-hyung's influence has proved to be very good on him. They weren't exactly friends. But their relationship seemed to be going to that direction.
"That's what I'm trying to figure out. Here Yunho, drink this. It'll make you feel better hmm?" Jaejoong coaxed to the partly sobbing lover on the bed. Yunho struggled to sit up, but then grimaced again, hand instantly grabbing a fistful of his hair as if he wanted to tear his scalp off.
"Yunho..." Jaejoong was at a loss.
"I can't... I keep..." Yunho said through ragged breaths, on the verge of tears. He looked up at Jaejoong, expression that of misery and sorrow. He looked so vulnerable and scared. "Faces. I don't know who they are. But they're... in my head!"
"Yunho you have to drink this medicine." Jaejoong tried again, placing the pills by Yunho's mouth, but he swatted it away.
"No. No more medicine." Yunho moaned in pain, hand clutching at the front of Jaejoong's shirt as if desperate for his touch. "They always gave me something before.... injecting something into me. I don't want that anymore. Not anymore."
Jaejoong finally broke into tears. "Tell me what I have to do. I want to help! Tell me how I can take away your pain!"
All too suddenly, Yunho went rigid in his place, his widened gaze boring into Jaejoong's own, the other's words resounding in his head as if it was a long lost lullaby that he once craved for to hear, before the face of a teenage boy flashed before his eyes.
In a heartbeat, scene after scene began to play in Yunho's head. As if he was there. As if those memories were his own.
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Six Years Ago
"Tell me what I have to do. I want to help. Tell me how I can take away your pain."
"My pain." Yunho morosely said, slowly tearing his eyes away from the smaller boy, his hands clenching into fists. How can I tell you that I have these feelings for you? Why are you so kind? So beautiful? So perfect? Right now, my pain is you.
"Bear." Soft hands cradled his face and Yunho felt himself tearing up instantly. "Why won't you let me be a friend?"
Bear. It was what Jaejoong decided to call him when he wouldn't budge about his name. Or what class he belonged to. Or what year he was in. He would have been insulted to be called as such but since it was Jaejoong that came up with the endearment, he felt that he didn't have the right to refuse. He knew Jaejoong sometimes heard the word loser directed towards him, and he also knew that the smaller boy didn't want to call him by that name.
"You remind me of this bear plushy I used to have back home." Jaejoong smiled and leaned in close. "You have the same eyes. Almond." But then his expression saddened with his next words. "You both look just as sad too."
How did his feelings spiraled out of his control?
At first it had just been an innocent offer of help when Jaejoong brought him to the infirmary along with his friend. He was determined to never cross paths with him after that. But as the days followed, Minho just wouldn't leave him alone. On more than one occasion, Jaejoong was threatened to get beat up by his cronies right in front of his eyes because he defended him. He couldn't believe that he initially liked that Lee bastard. And did his father care? No. Not one bit.
Yunho didn't know when it started or how it even began. Maybe that was the day he gave him the nickname? Or maybe it was that day he first helped him when he was too weak to move a single muscle in his body, too numb from the pain. Or maybe it was the day after that when Jaejoong suddenly sat in front of him in the cafeteria during lunch. Imagine his shock when he learned that Jaejoong cooked for him and even fed him even though they weren't really friends. He showed him genuine concern. At times, he would touch Yunho's bruises and bandages, careful not to hurt him, with that sad look in his eyes.
"When I look at you, I'm reminded of my brother. He was fragile. Just like you are. I have this strong inclination to take care of you." Jaejoong laughed and the way he covered his mouth behind his hand, eyes crinkling in the corner, sparkling, it made him all the more beautiful, as it added to his charm that Yunho couldn't help his breath hitching and heart speeding up at just the sight of him. "It's strange isn't it? Yoochun ah said that I have an excessive case of mother complex."
You only look at me as someone to take care of. Like a homeless puppy with nowhere to go to do you?
"Bear?" Jaejoong's voice pulled him out from his thoughts.
Yunho met his eyes and his determination to keep his true feelings hidden increased tenfold. Even if everything else in his life has gotten to hell and back, the least he could do is not mess his friendship with Jaejoong up.
"You shouldn't be bothering with me. I don't want you to end up hating me."
"Why?" Jaejoong's eyes spoke his despair. "Why do you keep saying that I'll hate you?"
"Because you will." Jaejoong was about to open his mouth, but Yunho already went inside the car, shutting the door close as it sped off away from the school gates. He had the strongest urge to look back. He wanted to see Jaejoong's face one last time. But the hawk-like eyes watching him from the front-view mirror prevented him from doing so.
"Good boy Yunho. Appa is proud of you. I don't want a queer for a son. I hope you'll do better in your new school."
It was hard not to cry when you know that you'll never be able to see such beautiful smile directed at you from that day onwards. But Yunho didn't dare shed a tear in front of his father. On their trip for home, he kept all his tears bottled up inside. Soon they arrived and the minute that he was in the safety of his bedroom, he fell on the soft sheets and cried his heart out.
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Present Time
Jaejoong was turning full-on panic mode.
Yunho had just been staring at him for nearly a minute, not uttering a single word. He shook him again and it was then he realized that Yunho wasn't breathing at all. "Yunho! Breathe. Oh god. Breathe!" he yelled and slapped him square in the face.
In a split second, Yunho seemed to come back to his senses and gasped for air, propelling forward in Jaejoong's embrace, slumping against him as he tried his best in heaving out deep breaths. His cheeks stung but it was nowhere near the pain that he was suddenly feeling in his heart. What... was that me? Was that Jaejoong?
"Yunho-yah! Don't scare me like that!" Strong arms wrapped themselves around his torso and Jaejoong held on just as tight to the other man, tears streaming down his face. "You idiot. How the hell did you forget how to breathe?!"
"Jaejoong-hyung." Yunho murmured silently, only enough for his own ears to hear. He didn't understand what he just saw.
It scared and confused him.
Was that... a memory?
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"Are you sure you're okay now?" Jaejoong had been asking him that for the past fifteen minutes. "You know you didn't really have to come with us. You could have stayed at home and rest. Yunho. How's your head huh? Is it still hurting? You know, Changmin might feel lonely watching over the house. You want to accompany him? Want me to drive you back?"
Yunho held the trembling hand on his face as he gave it a gentle squeeze. "Jaejoongie, I told you I'm fine."
"But--"
"Jae. Leave him alone. If the man said he's fine. Then he's fine."
"Shut up Yoochun."
"I'm just saying."
"Hey. You two don't start a fight inside the car." Junsu butted in, a voice of rationality and reason for his hyperventilating hyung.
"Sorry Su." Jaejoong apologized.
"It's fine hyung. I understand you're worried over Yunho." He smiled at him. "But getting emotional isn't the answer okay?"
Jaejoong's reply was a slow nod before he proceeded to wrap his arms all over Yunho's frame, sniffing.
"I'm fine really." Yunho said and pulled his left arm from Jaejoong's hold and wound it around his back protectively instead. He kissed the mop of his hair, inhaling the scent that he's grown addicted to. Jaejoong snuggled closer with him, feeling his lover's warmth giving him a little bit of peace. Yunho turned his head as he stared at his reflection on the car's tinted shields. He saw the storm of questions in his eyes that he tried to hide from the others glaring back at him.
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In loving memory
Kim Junsu
1986 – 1999
Greatly missed son, brother and best friend
“Our innocent angel, may you rest in peace”
Kim Junsu
1986 – 1999
Greatly missed son, brother and best friend
“Our innocent angel, may you rest in peace”
For the past several days that Junsu has been in Jaejoong and Yoochun’s care, he had fully gained memories of his past life. He remembered details of his childhood as if they were his own. And yet, despite everything, why couldn’t he shake off the feeling that those memories weren’t really his? He was aware that he was constructed mainly after the genes of the deceased Kim Junsu. It presented him with one obvious painful truth. He was just a copy of the original. A clone.
Junsu’s stormy gaze swept over to his lover. “Who do you see Yoochun ah?”
Resting his head against Junsu’s own, Yoochun softly asked. “What do you mean?”
Looking back at the gravestone, Junsu sullenly replied, deciding to voice out the insecurities that he had developed over the past days that he was successfully able to ignore until this very moment. “I have his name, his voice, even his traits to an extent, and his memories are in my head. But does that really make me Kim Junsu? Doesn’t it bother you? That I’m… like this? The Kim Junsu you loved was weak and fragile. But I’m not. I’m… merely an experiment.”
Slightly pulling back from the half-embrace, Yoochun turned him partially so they were now face to face and gave him a reassuring smile.“Sunnie.” he began, brushing his cheeks lovingly with the pad of his thumbs. “Nothing’s changed alright? All I know is I’m so blessed to have you again. You said that Uncle Junwoo loved you unconditionally when you were still inside the agency right? It proves that it doesn’t matter that you came back in the form of an experiment. When I look at you, I see Junsu. My Junsu. The boy that still slept with Mr. Snuffles when going to bed, the one that I promised to start a family with. You remember it do you? The promise we made before?” Yoochun chuckled. “I still have the marked calendar.”
Junsu lightly punched him in the shoulder, a smile playing on his lips, feeling the thorn in his heart get plucked out one by one. "Thank you Yoochun ah. Sarangheyo." Strong arms wrapped him in an embrace and Junsu sighed, content, warm. Pulling back, he turned to his side and was just about to give his Jaejoong hyung a hug when he couldn't find him. Looking up at the distance there he saw his brother walking behind Yunho, a considerable gap separating them. "Where are they going?"
"There's a burial going on. I think Yunho's gotten curious again." Yoochun said as he pulled Junsu by the hand as they followed.
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One look at the large tent and he instantly felt like something was calling out to him. Before he had the chance to realize what he was doing, his legs were already moving on their own as if in a trance. He didn't understand what was leading him to this place. He could hear cries from left to right. People speaking, the word "Condolences" being uttered, whatever that meant.
Yunho's eyes scanned the small crowd, not quite comfortable being around this much number of humans. Black was such a dreary color. Why did everyone wear such clothes? It reminded him of his past when he was out hunting on missions. Black was good because blood couldn't be seen in it. That's what he was taught back in the agency.
He could see a rectangular metal up front and the back profile of a woman sobbing while being consoled by a man beside her as she spoke to something inside the box. Yunho's brows furrowed in wonder. He didn't understand such a display. Who was inside the metal box?
It didn't take long before Yunho gave in to his curiosity.
Adjusting the hat, sunglasses and the face mask that Jaejoong insisted he and Junsu wore while they were out on public, slowly, he walked towards the front. He could feel eyes on him the instant he started in his pace. But he didn't pay them any mind.
When he was just an inch away from the casket, Yunho's hand rested on the glass panel and took a closer look.
What he saw next nearly made his heart stop.
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A/N: It's hard to write when you're in a bad mood. But as I promised that I'll post the next update today. Then here it is. I hope it still is making sense. My heart and mind's in too much turmoil right now so I'm not sure if the chapter is anything near good. *sigh* Comments are greatly loved and appreciated. It's the only thing keeping me happy right now I guess. This is UNBETA'D as usual so grammar is absolutely .
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