First off, I would like to thank DeviLaugh for taking off her precious time to look through my story and tell me what's wrong with it. Honestly I've been having trouble with this story because I'm unhappy with my plot. It's quite cliche and well...unsatisfactory and I've actually asked two very good authors in AFF, DeviLaugh and boredbluejay to help me find out what's wrong and critique the story.

So the very very( I must emphasized on it) kind DeviLaugh looked at my story and gave me a sort-of-like-a-review and told me what is exactly wrong with my story.

http://devilaughreviews.blogspot.com/2012/08/zberrypies-valiant-attempt.html

You can take a look ^^^^^^

So this story is revamped. Yes revamped- past tense, means that it's done. The story is quite different right now, I've take into consideration from the review and changed the story. It's quite drastic, (i actually took 2 hours to do it) but not too bad. So please do check out from chapter 1 all the way to 7. There are changes that would affect the rest of the updates.

However there are some things I really cannot change. 

1- I won't take down the character profiles. Because I've built the story with the character profiles in the description already. So it would be too tedious for me to actually rewrite the chapters so as to explain the character traits in the story (yes I am lazy) But in my future stories I won't put on the character profiles anymore. I know that it's almost like a taboo to DeviLaugh to put character profiles. :/

2- I did not take down the Kai-running-into-Yoona part. Seohyun's-attraction-to-Kai. And Kai's coldness. Because well...that all adds up to my plot. And if I take that out, then I should just re write the whole story right? But since I'm such a lazy girl I won't, I'll just work with it despite it being so cliche. I'll add twist to it and try to make it less  cliche.

3- Neither did I took down the fact that Luhan and Kai are rich. Same reason as the above, part of my story.

That's pretty much the only things that I won't change. But the rest of it, I've considered and changed it. I admit that my story is cliche and there are unrealistic parts in it. And even after the changes there might even still have cliche stuff in it. I tried to correct the unrealistic parts and I really hope that my attempt was not futile.

I really really need to thank DeviLaugh for doing such a good not-really-like-a-review review. Despite the fact that my story is so cliche and unrealistic to your liking, you still managed to read through it. I really do appreciate the effort you put in to help me improve on my story. I hope that you do see some changes in the story after my revamp. Thank you once again <3

Now I only need to wait for boredbluejay's review-ish review(lol still not a review yes) to further improve on my story. I really hope that this story will be my best one yet therefore I'm getting the really advanced authors to come and critique my story.

Criticism is something essential to improve my story. Whilst I do still want, need and appreciate praises for my story, it's really actually the critique that help me to move my story into greater heights. 

I'm going to camp on Monday(27 Aug) till Friday(31 Aug) so there will be no updates for the story till then (sorry). But I promise you that when I come back, the updates will be much better. And I doubt I will update tomorrow or Sunday after tediously revamping my story lol.

But do re-read the chapters. I hope you guys will still support my after the revamp. The revamp isn't only just for myself, really. It's for you guys as well<3

Oh and yes I will work on my grammar, I'm going to try and improve my grammar! Go go go!