07/30/12

What is the truth about the world that they live in? Can anybody find it out? (Probably not :P)

            After Victoria apologized to him, Nichkhun went back to his room and took off his cloak. He was getting ready to sleep when Victoria entered the room. She took off her own cloak and mouth covering, getting ready to sleep as well. Nichkhun sat down on a stool next to the coffee table. He heard Victoria sigh for the umpteenth time.

            “What’s on your mind?” Nichkhun asked as Victoria was walking toward her bed.

            Stopping in her tracks, Victoria turned to Nichkhun, frowning. “What do you mean?”

            “You’ve been constantly sighing for the past few days,” Nichkhun explained. “It’s getting really annoying.”

            “What? I have?” Victoria was surprised. She didn’t realize that she’s been sighing. “Sorry about that.”

            It was Nichkhun’s turn to frown. “That’s it?”

            “What’s it?” Victoria asked, puzzled.

            “No arguing, no righteous anger?” Nichkhun elaborated. “I said that your sighing was annoying, and you didn’t even get angry with me. There’s definitely something wrong.”

            Victoria decided to sit on the other stool next to the coffee table and placed her elbows on the table. “I… There’s been a lot on my mind.”

            “Care to elaborate?” Nichkhun didn’t even know why he was so interested in Victoria’s problems. It’s probably because he’s trying to find a way to stop Victoria from sighing so much. It was very annoying.

            Hesitating for a moment, Victoria looked at Nichkhun in the eyes, trying to judge his sincerity. Oh, might as well, she thought to herself. Taking one deep breath, she let all her worries out. “I just don’t know what to believe in anymore.

            “I grew up in a country where everything made logical sense. If you heat up a pot of water, the water will start boiling at a certain temperature. There will also be less water in the pot because the rest of the water will turn into steam. Everything had an explanation, and if there was no explanation in the present moment, it is because the people haven’t figured out the explanation yet.

            “But here, unexplainable things happen all the time. They’re not mere coincidences either. These unexplainable things happen consistently, without fail. This magic, this reincarnation, and this irrationality are all things that I would have denied with fervor just a few weeks ago. But now, I don’t know what to think. Honestly, I don’t really know what’s right or wrong anymore. I don’t know what to be angry about anymore.”

            Victoria rested her head on the table, her folded arms as a cushion in between her head and the table. She could feel her tears welling up in her eyes. I feel so lost, she thought to herself, and the tears rolled out of her eyes. She had felt this way for the past few weeks, but it’s the first time that she admitted to feeling this way. She had wanted to keep at least one ounce of her pride, but she ended up losing it all.

            Listening to Victoria’s muffled tears, Nichkhun’s mind froze. He felt like he had forgotten to breathe. His mind was empty, and it felt like he was only capable of watching Victoria cry. He snapped out of it when Victoria lifted her head up, showing her red and puffy eyes. On instinct, he reached over and wiped her tears.

            “I’ll get a wet towel for you,” Nichkhun said as he stood up from his stool and headed over to the bathroom.

            Victoria just nodded and waited for Nichkhun to return with a wet towel. He handed it to her, and she began covering her red eyes with the cool towel. “T-Thanks.”

            “I don’t think the country that you came from is actually that different from this country,” Nichkhun stated after Victoria calmed down.

            “Why do you say that?” Victoria asked, now dabbing the rest of the tears away.

            “I mean, sure, the country that you came from didn’t have magic, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t have irrationality,” Nichkhun explained. “It’s another country, not a completely different world. Both countries are occupied by humans, and all humans are born with the same basic things.”

            “What about the people who are able to do magic?” Victoria asked.

            “As you said before, the ability to do magic is a talent, just like the ability to run quickly and the ability to draw nicely,” Nichkhun said. “And about reincarnation, well, even in the country that you came from, there are things that are not explained. Maybe reincarnation has some scientific explanation, but nobody has found out that explanation yet. Same goes for the way magic works, actually.”

            “Are you saying that magic and reincarnation are actually rational things?” Victoria raised her eyebrow.

            “Well, not really. You know, you really shouldn’t be so obsessed with rationality and irrationality,” Nichkhun chided. “I believe that the world needs balance. Too much of one thing is never good. I mean, no one can be completely rational or completely irrational. Even you, Victoria. You may not believe in magic and reincarnation because they’re not rational, but aren’t you also pretty irrational? When you argue, most of your reasons are moral and ethical values. Aren’t morality and ethics subjective to a certain person?”

            Victoria’s nostrils flared. But she held back her reply when she realized that what Nichkhun said was mostly right. Even her argument at the advisor meeting today was merely based on her own sense of morality. Not that her own morality was wrong, but it’s definitely not rational. It is not something that is universally true.

            When Victoria didn’t say anything for a while, Nichkhun reached over and squeezed her hand. “Think about it. How can rationality exist if irrationality doesn’t exist? Your home country and mine are not as different as you make them out to be.”

            With that, Nichkhun stood up from his stool and went to bed.