The next morning Ryeowook came earlier than expected.  He brought Yesung breakfast and made him eat before leaving.  They called Ryeowook the ‘mom’ of the group because he was always trying to take care of and in particular feed everyone else.  There wasn’t much he could do for April so he very gently combed her hair.  He wanted to talk to her like Siwon had told him to.  He wanted to do it but getting started was hard.  “Hi, soooo I guess you’re meeting a lot of new people this week.  The guys and I call each other brothers, although that’s not actually the case it might as well be.  Most of us live together and have been for a long time, we’ve all grown up together.  Teukie-hyung is the oldest, you met him yesterday.  He likes to talk a lot but he also knows how to listen really well.  Yesung, who just left, is a very valuable friend.  Some people don’t get him but that’s just because they don’t know him well enough.  Once you get to know him you’ll see that he’s actually a very kind-hearted individual.  Shindong gives us the gift of laughter everyday but is also really trustworthy.  If you ever need someone to confide in, he’s your man.  When Siwon was here he probably prayed with you, his faith is very important to him.  He tries really hard to put forth a cool image, and don’t tell him that I told you this, but he’s really kind of a dork.  Donghae and Sungmin were with you when it happened; they’ve given a lot of themselves in the past two days.  They both have a great capacity for caring.  Eunhyuk and Kangin haven’t come yet.  Eunhyuk is someone who is good at everything he tries, he doesn’t know it but sometimes I envy him for that.  Kangin’s been a way for a while, he had a rough time a while back but now he’s ready to be back with his family.  Kyuhyun was also there two days ago but for him and Heechul this is difficult and reminds them of their own scars, they may not come to meet you yet.  As for me, I’m Ryeowook, and I’m just happy to be part of such an amazing family.” 

          Kangin took the afternoon shift, he also held April’s hand but he didn’t feel very talkative.  He hummed a little, more for himself than for her.  He needed to drown out the beeping, he found it unnerving.  No one told him anything though it didn’t seem like there had been any progress.  He rubbed her hand a bit to help the circulation, her hand twitched a bit.  It must have been a nerve reaction.  He wondered how long she would stay out, it had been over two days, surely she should have woke up by now. 

          In the evening Eunhyuk came.  He brought himself some newspaper puzzles to keep busy; Eunhyuk didn’t find it easy to sit still.  As the sun went down he found himself pacing around the room.  Around midnight he wasn’t sure if he could take it anymore, he debated calling someone to come take his place.  He knew Ryeowook and Sungmin were just getting off work, maybe Leeteuk would come.  He never got the chance to make the call.

          Machines that had been beeping quite rhythmically seemed to lose time. Eunhyuk didn’t quite know what was going on; he backed away from her a few steps afraid that he had done something wrong.  He watched, was she breathing heavier?  Everything happened really quickly.  Suddenly April opened her eyes; they darted place to place before settling on her body.  Suddenly she was gasping for air, looking back and forth trying to move but being attached to too many tubes and wires.  She looked terrified in a total state of panic.  Eunhyuk ran to the doorway and called out for a nurse, April was heaving and writhing.  He didn’t know what to do, he tried to tell her to calm down but she didn’t acknowledge that he was even there.  He yelled again and when no one came he tried to approach her.  She recoiled like a cornered animal and looked at him in terror.  Her eyes were unfocused and she was hyperventilating.  Finally someone came; the nurse saw the situation and immediately added something to the IV.  Only a moment later April’s eyes rolled back and she was still. 

          Eunhyuk’s heart was racing.  “Wh-wh-what happened?”

          “Panic attack,” said the nurse.  “I gave her a sedative.” 

          “Panic attack?”

          “She woke up too fast, she must be in agonizing pain, she doesn’t know where she is or who you are, you’d probably panic too.”

          Eunhyuk felt faint. 

 

          April felt like the black walls were giving way, little by little she was breaking through.  She pushed against the walls, she pushed against her skin.  It was like trying to knock down a brick wall with your little finger.  She didn’t know if she was moving or if it was her imagination.  She kept feeling pressure in her one hand; surely this was a sign, if she just kept pushing…

          April came through with a jolt, harsh bright light blinded her and there was a searing white hot pain in her abdomen.  Her whole left side felt like it was being squished in a giant vice.  The room spun, April saw red, the agony was unbearable.  Needles all over the place, how did she get here?  Was she being held against her will?  It was as if lights were flashing in every direction, the room moved like an earthquake.  She felt sick, she felt pain.  A stranger was advancing on her.  ‘Get away!’  All her instincts told her.  Run for your life!  But she couldn’t get herself up; she backed up ready to bite.  Another stranger came in, she thought, ‘two of them, I’ve got to –’ and then April fell into a dreamless sleep.