I texted Nichkhun as soon as I arrived at the club hours later and he told me they were in the VIP area. I told the bouncer my name and someone escorted me upstairs to the private area. 

Entering the room, I quickly surveyed its occupants. Nichkhun. Wooyoung. Taecyeon. Junho. Chansung. Junsu? I think was the last member’s name. Four people I did not know and then…of course, it would be Byunghee.

It was just like my life when I decided I didn’t want to see him anymore that he would show up everywhere. Taecyeon did say he was close to Mblaq and perhaps they took my surprise at seeing Byunghee as attraction. There was plenty of attraction in that gasp I made, but it was out of shock and bemusement.

And yet, I was still surprised at seeing him here. So surprised that before my brain could tell me to stop, my mouth and heart said, “Oppa…”

Everyone looked at me in surprise. A smile flickered in Byunghee’s eyes at my words. 2PM looked at one another, brows furrowed. While Mblaq high-fived one another since they had been right about me.

“Did you just call him ‘oppa’?” they chorused, voices thoroughly confused. I blinked rapidly and coughed.

“Stop imagining things,” I snapped. But then regretted it and smiled sweetly. “Sorry I am late. I got caught in traffic.”

“Come sit by me!” exclaimed Taecyeon, pushing Wooyoung closer to Khun and effectively creating a spot for me.

I nodded and walked over to the empty spot. Byunghee was watching my every move.

“What do you like to drink? I will get it for you,” Nichkhun said, leaning over Wooyoung.

“Oh, uhm, I don’t know. Anything is fine with me.” He smiled at me and hopped up to go to the bar.

“Hyung, are you going to introduce us?” asked one of the MBLAQ members to Taecyeon.

“Eunhee-ah, this is Mir, Joon, Thunder, Seungho…and apparently you know G.O….”

“Yes,” I answered, bowing my head to them politely.

“So, you’re GO-hyung’s ex-girlfriend, hmm?” Joon inquired. He was steadfastly ignoring the glare I saw Byunghee shooting his way.

“Is it really any of your business?”

“Not really, but I still want to know.”

“Me too,” agreed Thunder and Mir. I raised an eyebrow at the three of them. Is this what my night would be like?

Everyone was staring at me intently waiting for my answer, except for Byunghee who obviously knew the answer. Nichkhun had returned with a drink for me saying it was vodka and cranberry juice. I thanked him and sipped it slowly.

“Well?” Junho asked finally.

“Yes, we dated when I was in high school.” My answer caused a commotion amongst the boys.

“Chincha?” yelled Chansung. I took a bigger gulp of my drink. Did we need to discuss this right now? If I knew he was coming I would not have been here. Thankfully, they dropped the topic there and continued chatting with everyone.

I let out a sigh and fell back against the couch. Why was he here? Why did he look at me like that? I didn’t need this right now. Wooyoung’s eyes were watching me carefully and I smiled at him. He returned it and asked tentatively, “Do you want to go dance?”

“I’m not very good, but I’ll try…” His face lit up and he grabbed my hand.

“I told you I’m a good teacher. Just follow me.” He pulled me up from the couch and announced to everyone that we would be dancing.  I let him lead me away.

He hadn’t been lying when he said he was a good dancer. I was short of terrible, but he was patient and demonstrated how I was supposed to move my hips. I felt very awkward trying to roll my body the way he was. Wooyoung was entirely too good at this. After a couple songs, I felt I was getting the hang of it.

“You’re getting good!” He praised as we were returning to the VIP room.

“Thanks. I normally don’t really do much dancing when I come to clubs.” I wouldn’t tell him that I rarely frequented these places and when I did it was to get heavily drunk. That would just leave a bad impression, I think.

Most of the guys had gone to dance with some girls that had also joined their makeshift party. Wooyoung explained that T-ara, a new girl group, had been invited. The main vocalist was close friends with Seungho, so he had invited them. Naturally, they could not turn down an invitation to see two of the hottest boy groups. However, their maknae was unable to come with them.

Byunghee plus a few of the guys were left upstairs talking casually. I moved to sit in my previous spot, but there was an open space by Byunghee. I left Wooyoung and settled in beside him. He looked surprised, but flashed me a warm smile.

“You didn’t text me back,” he said first, lips quirking into a frown.

“What was I supposed to say to that?”

“I don’t know…I’m not ever sure why I texted you. I didn’t know you were back in Seoul.”

“Well, we haven’t talked in a year, so I’m not surprised you don’t know about my life.”

“That’s true…” his voice dropped to a whisper. “I am happy you’re back. Truthfully, I really missed you…”

My body tensed and I glanced at him. My hands clenched into fists. Was he being serious? The initial anger was diffused when I looked him full in the face. Byunghee’s handsome face was calm and collected as always. But his eyes were warm and tender. Every single day we were together, he looked at me like that. How I wanted him to look at me like this again. But it was different. Why was he doing this? He didn’t love me anymore.

“You have a funny way of showing that.”

“Eunhee…are you still mad? It’s been sometime since we broke up.”

“So I should be over it? It seems you are. You have what you always wanted, don’t you? Adoring fans that support and cheer for you. You have the fame you’ve always craved. Are you happy now? Since apparently I couldn’t make you happy.”

“What are you talking about? I was always happy with you. There wasn’t even a second of the day when you didn’t make me smile.”

He reached over to me, placing his hands over my own. “I was my happiest with you and that’s the truth.”

“I don’t believe you,” I answered, removing my hands from beneath his. “You said I didn’t appreciate you.”

“That was a really rough time for me…I didn’t want you to be sad along with me.”

Wait. What? That’s the reason he broke up with me?  He thought I was unhappy. What the sort of ed up life am I living?

“Eunny…you’re upset, aren’t you?”

“I don’t kn—actually, I do. We shouldn’t be having this conversation. I shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t be here. Why are you suddenly here again?” Oh how I had imagined for months that someday we’d meet again, that maybe we could start again. But everything was just messed up.

“Do you not want me?” What an idiotic question. All I want to tell him is, “Let’s just start again.” But can we? His expression was darkening as I didn’t answer him. “Oh…you have someone else?”

“What’s it to you? That day you left you never once contacted me. I went to all our places hoping to run into you. But you were never there.”

“I had entered into training with J. Tune and purposefully avoided those places because I was afraid of what I’d say if I ran into you. I did see you though one night at a club…you were with some guy. Well I guess it would be guys…” His eyes wouldn’t meet mine and his voice was angry. Byunghee had definitely seen me that terrible night where I had made out with a lot of guys. Probably a low moment in my life, but I was too depressed to care. Is that an excuse? No, it is not. He has no room to get jealous. What business is it of his?

“I missed you like crazy when I left that day and then to see you with these random guys, having them touch you in ways only I had. Do you not know anything called attachment?”

“Oh, that’s real funny coming from you. I saw you too after we had broken up. You were with some long-legged trainee. She was wrapped all around you, cooing and whatnot. Did you like her more than me? Did you even once think about me?”

“You think I broke up with you for another girl?” His voice had gotten louder. And if everyone had not already been eavesdropping, which I’m sure they were, they certainly were involved in the conversation. I could sense the anger rolling off of him. Byunghee had always been full of passion and emotions. He looked at me, eyes roaming over my body and face. “C’mon, we need to talk.”

In a very drama like fashion, much to my annoyance, he grabbed my hand and yanked me up. I barely had time to grab the purse that Mir was politely handing to me before Byunghee dragged me out of the VIP room and then out of the club. He kept walking until we were a block away and then he turned down an alleyway. Really, oppa? Byunghee released his old on my hand and I let it drop to my side.

“Neo micheoseo? You really thought that I left you because of another girl?” Yes, he was most definitely not pleased with this latest confession of mine.

“Ya! I’m not crazy. And yes, I did. Because I thought I was a bad girlfriend…and so you found someone else.” My voice came out cracked and soft as I said those words that I hated. I kicked at the ground with my ivory heels. Did I really tell him that?

“It’s always been you. Never anyone else. I have not kissed, hugged, made love to, held hands with anyone since you.”

Oh . Was he serious? I could not say the same thing on some of those. He could read my thoughts from my face and chuckled bitterly.

“Apparently you cannot say the same.”

“Aigo, you broke up with me, oppa,” I protested tiredly. He cocked his head to the side, staring at me with those eyes. His hand reached out and he my hair. It was long and wavy with side swept bags, his favourite look on me. I had kept it in this style since after our first anniversary. 

“So many girls call me that, but it’s just not the same as when you say it.” And then he kissed me. His lips felt the same as the moved against my own. This was like riding a bike. I would always know how to kiss this boy. And it would always feel so good. His hand moved to support the back of my head and his other arm s around my waist. “I’ve missed this so much,” he murmured, his soft voice caressing my body.

Everyone knows that doing anything intimate with your ex is just a bad idea. Then why did it feel so right? In two particular ways, kissing Byunghee was different. His face was now clean-shaven and his hair was longer than I had ever seen on him. But he was still my oppa. The only guy I have ever called that.

“Oppa, what are we doing?” I asked despondently. He met my eyes curiously.

“Eunny, saranghaeyo. I’ve always loved you. I never stopped.” My body was overcome with joy at those simple words I had longed to know for so long. Somewhere music began playing, getting steadily louder. What was that song? It wouldn’t stop.