27.
Little by Little - because you stay -
JUNG.sooyeon
Standing in front of the gate, I gulp, feeling nervousness is eating me from inside. I didn't even feel like this when I went on my first stage to perform dance years ago.
However after what I heard two days ago at the hospital, about the truth Yonghwa finally revealed about what actually happened behind the stabbing incident, I can't let the guilt devour me anymore.
For two nights, I barely could sleep. Aerin's face kept appearing in my mind. Her smile when she called me her sister but I threw back hatred to her. Her eyes...
I found out that Aerin's right eye can't see anything but darkness from my parent yesterday. To be honest, I never really asked them about Aerin's past, the story they knew when they decided to adopt Aerin.
Aerin never told them and my parents didn't want to dig her past as well. About her father, the suicide issue, and...
I feel like I am the worst creature walking on Earth. I despised her because of my jealousy but what does she do to me?
Smile. Forgiveness. Everything I couldn't do.
I walk around the campus area. It's evening already but there are still a lot of students around. It looks like they're preparing for an event, decorating the yard with excitement.
My eyes find Yonghwa among the students. Like usual, he has the gentle smile on his face as if nothing ever happened.
No. Aerin always puts that kind of smile too.
Their smile don't mean they're alright and happy. They mean they are trying to manage and endure the pain, healing the hurt by themselves without anyone knows.
With the strongest determination I have, I walk to the students who turn to see me with confused look. Ignoring them, I stop when I already stand in front of them all, looking at them in a quick glance.
Yonghwa frowns, unsure whether he should ask me or not. He does nothing so I start to talk as loud and clear as I can, "My name is Jung Sooyeon. I'm Jung Aerin's sister."
Whisper starts the moment I mention Aerin's name. Not good whispering, I believe. I clear my throat and continue, "I'll just say this one time. Aerin is innocent so stop... Stop judging her when you know nothing!"
A tear rolls down on my cheek. I become too emotional in just seconds but I keep talking, "For you, she's just one of million people in this word to pick as a topic everyday but... She only has one world to protect and we, people who don't even try to listen to her, are ruining her life..."
I'm not sure whether I'm talking about them or actually myself. Maybe it's actually me but I'm saying things as if I don't do any mistake.
"So if you, any of you...," I choke because of my tears. "If you try to mess with my sister, I will not let it just slip away."
The students look at me with confused looks. Some of them even give me disgusted looks. I don't care of their gazes anymore when I see Aerin stands metres away from me with Jinyoung next to her.
"S-Sooyeon Unnie...," Aerin murmurs my name. Did she hear everything?
I walk to her, clenching my fists tight without bothering to wipe my tears, "You're really a fool, Aerin..."
Before she could say anything, I bow sligtly, resting my forehead on her shoulder as I sob, "You're not alone, Aerin, so..."
I want to tell her that I'm her sister, that she can rely on me but tears stop me to say them.
As if Aerin can understand, she pats my back softly and mutters, "Thank you, Unnie. Thank you."
All the guilt breaks down in tears.
❖❖❖❖❖
JUNG.yonghwa
Days after Sooyeon's surprise announcement at the campus, where the remaining students could hear her warning clear enough, more rumors came up.
With Sooyeon declaring Aerin's innocence even without an evidence, some students started to wonder why Aerin's sister suddenly told them. Some others went even worse by saying Aerin must had bullied her own sister so she would stand up for her.
They never understand that, even though action speaks louder than words, their words can hurt more than anything else.
"Appa," I talk to the man who is still unconscious on the bed. "I know you can't hear me but... If you're tired already with your life, would you please don't give up on us?"
No respond. Of course there is none.
The door is opened slightly and I turn to see Sooyeon. She nods to greet me before standing next to me, "I saw your name on the visitor's list."
"Thank you for coming," I smile at her. "And thank you for your encouraging message to Aerin. I haven't thanked you properly for that."
Of course Sooyeon couldn't understand why I should be thankful. I'm not even sure if Aerin and Sooyeon had the good talk of sisters already but, for the past days, Aerin attended every of her classes dilligently.
She gained more courage with Sooyeon's words. Even though hate and nasty comments are still around, Aerin smiles more often and, as someone who couldn't do that, I think Sooyeon deserves at least gratitudes from me.
"Aerin will return to my house in two weeks," Sooyeon tells me. "She said something about Music and Art festival. She said she would accompany Jinyoung for a preparation."
Preparation? I think to myself. Does it mean Jinyoung will also join the festival?
"What... did you have in mind when you came that day, Jess?" I ask her with my eyes glued on my father. "Don't you regret anything now?"
"If I didn't do it, I would have more regret," Sooyeon sighs heavily. "It's like someone just slap me on face, saying that I shouldn't judge someone when I didn't even try to understand her."
I was going to chuckle but I freeze when I see the change on the cardiography. My father's fingers move slightly but I notice the movement right away.
I quickly push the emergency button next to his bed and cry out for the nurse and doctor, "My father... He moved!"
Jess gasps and I don't have a word to say.
Dear God, please give him the courage to live when he opens his eyes again.
At least let him know that I'm still here for him.
Comments