14.
Little by Little - because you stay -
JUNG.jinyoung
It's cloudy today. The sun is hiding behind the cloud and I guess it will rain later. Not bothering to bring along an umbrella, I lock the door, getting ready to leave.
My feet stops when I walk pass Aerin's apartment room. I land my gaze on the Mayflower, the white flower she has been taking care since the day we met again after eight years.
Welcome back.
Those words sound weird since I didn't use to hear that during my days in Paris. Not even for once and I never realized how important those simple words could mean.
Aerin always welcomes me whenever I return from somewhere. If we meet up coincidentally, she will give me her brightest smile and say, "welcome back, Jinyoung" cheerfully.
For an unknown reason, she makes me feel... like I have a place to return now. She made me have a reason to return everday, hoping to hear her welcome greeting.
My days in Seoul are not so exciting. I go to college, attend classes regularly, visit a public library when I'm bored, or just practice violin at the nearby music studio.
People whisper about what kind of relationship I have with Aerin but I shrug it away. Some female students tried to know me better yet I care nothing about them.
To be honest, I don't want to have any unnecessary relationship with anyone. I come and go so I don't need to think about whatever I will leave behind in the future.
Thinking about embracing the happiest moment in life means you must be ready to let go of it.
I had one. Once. Before I moved to Paris and I lost it already.
That's why I don't want to have another heart-wrenching moment. One time is more than enough.
"Is she going to skip classes again today?" I murmur to myself, reaching out my hand to touch the Mayflower.
There is one time she told me that she just skipped classes to ease her classmates from their worry, that she would hurt them like what they're thinking.
I scolded her, telling her that she should stop doing what they wanted. It's her life and no one had power to control how she should live it but she just gave me her mysterious smile.
A smile that hides thousand of words.
I return to my senses when I hear a loud sound from inside of Aerin's apartment room. It's like something just hit the floor and I think it's stuff from glass.
Without bothering to knock, I open the door and it's not locked. I rush inside to find Aerin is kneeling on the floor.
"Ah, Jinyoung," she looks up from the scattered glasses on the floor. I know what happened now. She just dropped a vase made from glass. "Good morning."
I frown when I notice that she is bleeding. Her hands are holding some pieces of the glass and she is too careless to do it without any gloves. She is just too careless.
As if she knows that what I'm thinking, Aerin makes a grin on her face and says, "Don't worry. It's just a small vase. It happens sometimes."
She stands up with bleeding hands, murmuring about something that someone will be mad at her because of the broken vase, saying that she is going to clean up the mess.
"Stop," I state shortly when she is going to grab a broom to clean the shattered glasses. "I'll do it. Just clean your wound first."
"But your clas-"
"I said stop," I look at her coldly. "Clean your wound."
I feel deja vu. This happened before but both of us were still little; we're still twelve years old and I was not this cold towards her.
When did those good days go?
My feet stops when I walk pass Aerin's apartment room. I land my gaze on the Mayflower, the white flower she has been taking care since the day we met again after eight years.
Welcome back.
Those words sound weird since I didn't use to hear that during my days in Paris. Not even for once and I never realized how important those simple words could mean.
Aerin always welcomes me whenever I return from somewhere. If we meet up coincidentally, she will give me her brightest smile and say, "welcome back, Jinyoung" cheerfully.
For an unknown reason, she makes me feel... like I have a place to return now. She made me have a reason to return everday, hoping to hear her welcome greeting.
My days in Seoul are not so exciting. I go to college, attend classes regularly, visit a public library when I'm bored, or just practice violin at the nearby music studio.
People whisper about what kind of relationship I have with Aerin but I shrug it away. Some female students tried to know me better yet I care nothing about them.
To be honest, I don't want to have any unnecessary relationship with anyone. I come and go so I don't need to think about whatever I will leave behind in the future.
Thinking about embracing the happiest moment in life means you must be ready to let go of it.
I had one. Once. Before I moved to Paris and I lost it already.
That's why I don't want to have another heart-wrenching moment. One time is more than enough.
"Is she going to skip classes again today?" I murmur to myself, reaching out my hand to touch the Mayflower.
There is one time she told me that she just skipped classes to ease her classmates from their worry, that she would hurt them like what they're thinking.
I scolded her, telling her that she should stop doing what they wanted. It's her life and no one had power to control how she should live it but she just gave me her mysterious smile.
A smile that hides thousand of words.
I return to my senses when I hear a loud sound from inside of Aerin's apartment room. It's like something just hit the floor and I think it's stuff from glass.
Without bothering to knock, I open the door and it's not locked. I rush inside to find Aerin is kneeling on the floor.
"Ah, Jinyoung," she looks up from the scattered glasses on the floor. I know what happened now. She just dropped a vase made from glass. "Good morning."
I frown when I notice that she is bleeding. Her hands are holding some pieces of the glass and she is too careless to do it without any gloves. She is just too careless.
As if she knows that what I'm thinking, Aerin makes a grin on her face and says, "Don't worry. It's just a small vase. It happens sometimes."
She stands up with bleeding hands, murmuring about something that someone will be mad at her because of the broken vase, saying that she is going to clean up the mess.
"Stop," I state shortly when she is going to grab a broom to clean the shattered glasses. "I'll do it. Just clean your wound first."
"But your clas-"
"I said stop," I look at her coldly. "Clean your wound."
I feel deja vu. This happened before but both of us were still little; we're still twelve years old and I was not this cold towards her.
When did those good days go?
❖❖❖❖❖
"Wah, you're amazing!" Aerin gave her sincere compliment with a wide smile. She clapped her hands with excitement as if she just watched a really great performance.
It's not. I just played an easy song with my violin after school. It's not that great or amazing for me...
...but I guessed Aerin didn't think the same.
She always said that she loved the way I played the violin. She liked the sound produced from my violin. She told me that I looked like an angel when I played the classic musical instrument.
Aerin had became a really good companion for me. Despite the fact that some studets teased us because we shared a same family name, I never really cared about it and so did she.
The tease slowly faded away and what left was the friendly Jung Jinyoung with his new best friend, Jung Aerin who was shy and quiet.
She was not that quiet actually but I must admit that she was a really good listener. I could talk about almost everything to her, even the things I never talked to the others.
It's like she had a magical and shiny atmosphere around her, making me to stay together with her even just for a little bit longer.
Jung Aerin was not a special student. She had average skills in all subjects while I always stayed in top three students for all subjects. She was not good in sport while I did so much better than other students.
I was smart, they said, but I didn't care. I only had interest in music and violin was my best choice.
"Jinyoung," Aerin called out my name when I was putting back my violin inside the box. "You will not stop playing the violin, right?"
I blinked with confusion and laughed, "Of course. What did you even need to ask such a question?"
She giggled, swinging her feet back and forth playfully, "Good to hear that. I will be really sad if you give up on your dream."
I continued packing up my stuff while Aerin stood up and walked around the empty class which I used to show her my violin skill.
Suddenly I heard a loud noise, coming from around three metres away from me. I turned around to see a broken window because of a baseball. Looked like some students played out of the area.
Aerin was safe. It's a good thing that she managed to avoid the accident. For my surprise, she knelt down and started to gather the glasses without any thought.
Her fingers started to bleed and I needed to stop her before she realized it, "Aerin! Stop it! You're bleeding!"
I rushed to her side and helped her to stand up, "I'll clean this. Wash your hand, Aerin. Yah, you're a girl. You can't let this wound to stay forever."
She just chuckled softly and retorted, "I know, I know."
After I cleaned up the scattered glasses and helped Aerin to take care of her wounds, I warned her about picking up pieces of glass in case it happened again later.
Aerin opened up after I ended mine, "Jinyoung, it's a promise, right? That you will never give up on violin."
I heaved a sigh and nodded firmly, "I promise."
Now that I thought of it, why did she ask that kind of question all of a sudden? Though it's a good thing I never broke a promise.
Later after I moved to Paris, there were times I wanted to forget about violin because it reminded me of those dreamy happy days...
...but I didn't. Because of that promise.
Did Aerin still remember?
It's not. I just played an easy song with my violin after school. It's not that great or amazing for me...
...but I guessed Aerin didn't think the same.
She always said that she loved the way I played the violin. She liked the sound produced from my violin. She told me that I looked like an angel when I played the classic musical instrument.
Aerin had became a really good companion for me. Despite the fact that some studets teased us because we shared a same family name, I never really cared about it and so did she.
The tease slowly faded away and what left was the friendly Jung Jinyoung with his new best friend, Jung Aerin who was shy and quiet.
She was not that quiet actually but I must admit that she was a really good listener. I could talk about almost everything to her, even the things I never talked to the others.
It's like she had a magical and shiny atmosphere around her, making me to stay together with her even just for a little bit longer.
Jung Aerin was not a special student. She had average skills in all subjects while I always stayed in top three students for all subjects. She was not good in sport while I did so much better than other students.
I was smart, they said, but I didn't care. I only had interest in music and violin was my best choice.
"Jinyoung," Aerin called out my name when I was putting back my violin inside the box. "You will not stop playing the violin, right?"
I blinked with confusion and laughed, "Of course. What did you even need to ask such a question?"
She giggled, swinging her feet back and forth playfully, "Good to hear that. I will be really sad if you give up on your dream."
I continued packing up my stuff while Aerin stood up and walked around the empty class which I used to show her my violin skill.
Suddenly I heard a loud noise, coming from around three metres away from me. I turned around to see a broken window because of a baseball. Looked like some students played out of the area.
Aerin was safe. It's a good thing that she managed to avoid the accident. For my surprise, she knelt down and started to gather the glasses without any thought.
Her fingers started to bleed and I needed to stop her before she realized it, "Aerin! Stop it! You're bleeding!"
I rushed to her side and helped her to stand up, "I'll clean this. Wash your hand, Aerin. Yah, you're a girl. You can't let this wound to stay forever."
She just chuckled softly and retorted, "I know, I know."
After I cleaned up the scattered glasses and helped Aerin to take care of her wounds, I warned her about picking up pieces of glass in case it happened again later.
Aerin opened up after I ended mine, "Jinyoung, it's a promise, right? That you will never give up on violin."
I heaved a sigh and nodded firmly, "I promise."
Now that I thought of it, why did she ask that kind of question all of a sudden? Though it's a good thing I never broke a promise.
Later after I moved to Paris, there were times I wanted to forget about violin because it reminded me of those dreamy happy days...
...but I didn't. Because of that promise.
Did Aerin still remember?
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