Story Title : Look At Me For Once
Author : FutureAngel
Reviewer : LadyComma

1. Title: [5/5 pts.]
The title is perfect. I’m glad you didn’t choose a long title because I have a thing about stories with long and unnecessary titles. 

2. Poster/Graphics/Background: [5/5 pts.]
The poster is perfect. I really love the character chart in the Foreword as well. The color scheme you used is amazing and fits the theme of the story perfectly. GREAT job!

3. Foreword/Description: [9.5/10 pts.]
Since your story is a one-shot, I’m glad you only described it instead of giving potential readers a huge snippet of your story. However, you didn’t capitalize Lee Byung Hun’s name at the end of the description. You should always capitalize a name no matter how many times you use it which is why I docked you half a point.  

4. Plot: [10/30 pts]
To be perfectly honest, the plot was erratic. You switched POV’s too much and I didn’t understand half of what was going on. Yes, they met on the bus and then IU had Tae Yeon go convince Ricky to get L. Joe to meet her at the campus restaurant. What I didn’t understand was what all was going on in-between? Suddenly she went from geek to ‘y’ model type… I just didn’t understand what all was going on and why she was doing all she was doing. I understand she wanted L. Joe to fall for her but why when she knew he was a busy celebrity? Sorry for being harsh, but I just wanted some more clarification. Since the story was so erratic I docked over half your points. I’m sorry.

5. Flow: [3/5 pts.]
Due to the erratic and abrupt switching of POV’s, I found that the flow was quite lacking in the story. Be sure to change POV’s and scenes more smoothly as the story progresses.  I docked two points due the erratic scene changes and abruptness.

6. Characterization: [4/5 pts.]
Your characterization was quite good to be honest. However, I was a bit shocked at the abrupt changes in the main character which is why I docked a point. 

7. Grammar/Spelling: [10/20 pts.]
I do realize that you may be learning English and that it might now be your first language. Since I don’t want to be overly critical, I decided to dock only half of your points. You constantly misspelled realize and business, I know they are hard to spell because of the different sounds they make when you sound them out. Also, your tenses and your use of verbs need some looking into, you wrote some sentences in present tense when they should have been written in past tense.  Before posting a story, read the chapters out loud and see if they make sense to you. If they don’t, then you know you need to re-write some sentences or to correct some spelling errors.

8. Overall Enjoyment/Entertainment: [10/20 pts.]
I thought it was cute despite all of my misunderstandings. I love how she wanted to be with L. Joe and made it a goal to make him fall for her. Love can be so simple and sweet. I noticed you tried your hardest to convey how sweet love can be. You did a really good trying, but since I was confused quite a bit I did dock off half of my enjoyment points because I hate being confused. 

Comments/Feedback: Please keep on writing. The more you write the better writer you will become. I know I have been harsh in my review, but I do believe in being direct and brutally honest. I do see potential in your writing, all you need to do is practice more and more. I hope I’ve helped! 

Total:  [56.5/100]

thanks so much for LadyComma unnie :3 go visit her and her shop and others. she is so nice and i've stalked her since the first time i was here c: