Story Title: The Secret Life Of A Gay Werewolf 
Author: shineeren
Reviewer: KpopLover15751

Title: (3/5)

The title was cliché and too simple. It didn't catch my interest right from the start since it was rather a sentence of description than an actual title. Try using more descriptive words because this is a and vampire story which means titles are more strongly worded.

I am pleased that you add chapter titles instead of naming them ‘chapter one’. It gives a hint of the coming chapters and I was intrigued by what the meaning of the title could hold.

Description/Foreword: (7/10)

The description could have been more subtle and mysterious since stating them would give the background of the story away. I do think you shouldn't have added ‘‘And when he gets pregnant he changes his whole aspect on life’ because we the readers could be surprise by the outcome if you wrote it later in the story. Since you already told us in the description, it didn't shock us like it should.

The foreword again also should be spaced out and every time a person speaks, you leave a line. It looks like a jumbled paragraph rather than an alluring prologue. I am happy you didn’t use character personality description and rather only have description and prologue which I given points for.

Next time, try to develop you description into an interesting piece that leaves the reader hanging wanting more.

Appearance: (6/10)

The poster wasn’t the best in describing how the story’s theme is like. There wasn’t any fantasy images such as werewolves so it didn’t shouted fantasy like you genre is. The background was nothing so it didn’t relate to the poster. Adding black background or a fantasy texture can help make your story look more appealing. I did like the colours used since it was dark shades showing how vampires and werewolves are depicted. Well done for that!

Plot: (16/20)

The plot was cliché since it was new school with new student and some guy (Taemin) falls in love with him. There were dramas going on with the pregnancy which I was addicted to read about but in basic point of view, it would have been similar to most romance stories.

The originality of having a fantasy stories which are uncommon in AFF was there as well as your way of writing so I didn’t cut down a lot of marks. I especially love the romance they shown to each other. My cousin reviews the scene since I am underage and she stated that the scene was good however it was short. I can’t dwell longer on that so moving on to the later chapters

Jonghyun getting pregnant was unique since usually Taemin would be the feminine one in the relationship so I like how that was developed as well as the happy support of his friends.

Characterization: (16/20)

The characters of Taemin and Jonghyun were presentable and I could really see the personality in each of the two characters and aspects of the minor characters.  Both Taemin and Jonghyun were in love with each other by the way they are acting around like a couple. It was sweet to see it in a fantasy story. I can also sense the trustful friendship they have with Onew and it was like Onew in real life so it helped me visualize his role in the story more.

Language: (22/25)

I am not the language nazi so I am not going to criticize much however it is a good thing you got a beta-reader so there were really few mistakes to point out. One thing I was displeased with was the paragraph spacing.

There should be paragraphs every time someone speaks or when a subject is changed, I do get you wrote some in your mobile however making a story great requires spacing. Next time you write a story, I do hope you space it out.

The punctuation checked by your beta is checked thoroughly as well as your grammar, there were a few spelling mistakes such as ‘blodd’ which should be ‘blood’. It was simple and unnoticeable mistakes and having a beta reader obviously made you points higher.

Flow: (7/10)

The flow was quite fast and I wish you could have develop more chapters such as the feelings involved and maybe adding another drama apart from the pregnancy. It wasn’t too fast paced so it wasn’t deducted heavily and in future the only improvement is to slower the pace and describes the plot ideas more.

Total: 77/100

Reviewer's Note: Your story was lovely to read and based on your choice for strict review, I was disappointed to be reviewing strictly and deducting marks. Just make sure to have spacing and the pace however you have great potential in being a great writer.

Poster | Background | Story 

Hope you like this one and thanks for reqeusting from me ~ I love chu and sorry for being so standart ._.
I have no idea now. I was like... having designer's block and yeah~ I think I need someone to help me run this shop