Story Title : Beautiful Pain

Author : Femireu

Reviewer : chichichi24

Title [5/5]

I was wondering what did the title meant. What pain could it be to be called ‘beautiful’?

This title was so making me curious. Full marks!

Appearance [5/5]

I’m not a graphic artist, though. So all I can say is that poster is beautiful~

Foreword/ Description [0/10]

Since this is written on oneshot collection, I don’t really know how to giving points for this section. So I’ll just not count it.

Originality [25/25]

This is, as far as I joined this site, is the really first time I read a story about giving birth. Your story is really beautiful! I find myself smiling when Seungho greets his son. I can imagine that wide smile on his face, that father-smile~~

So… I guess it’s an original story ^^

It’s my first time giving full marks in this section --

Spelling/Punctuation [18/20]

There aren’t any spelling errors! Congrats! *throw confetti* ^^

But well, nothing’s perfect, huh?

There are some punctuation errors. And it’s the same one like the other story that I reviewed before. I don’t know how much I typed it, but well, yeah… here are some of your mistakes:

“She’s fine, everything’s fine.” Said this woman in white outfit.

“She’s fine, everything’s fine,” said this woman in white outfit.

Seungho took a deep breath before walking towards her bed and sat on the side, “Are you alright?”

Seungho took a deep breath before walking towards her bed and sat on the side. “Are you alright?”

She smiled, “Yes, just a little bit tired.” She replied softly.

She smiled. “Yes, just a little bit tired,” she replied softly.

*So basically, the word said and its synonym (I underlined it on example above) cannot be separated with the spoken sentence. You must connect them with a comma instead of separating them with a period. On the second example, there aren’t any ‘said’ or its synonym, right? It’s just contained actions, so you must separate them with a period ^^

--

Besides that, nothing to worry about ^w^

Characterization [10/10]

Since it’s a very short story, I’m not that sure in giving score.

But the fact that you succeed in expressing their love very well throughout this oneshot, surely deserve high mark~

Writing Style [9/10]

I really doesn’t have anything to complain about =_=

But if you can write a longer chapter that can keep us, readers, reading your story in the next three-five minutes, surely will be a good point.

Enjoyment [10/10]

It looks like I am out of words already. I’m not used to praising something, and just pointing the mistakes. So when I don’t have anything to point out, I’m being like this; out of words -___-

Well… I really am enjoying reading your oneshot after all ~^^

Bonus [5/5]

For making me fall in love with this one shot and smiling while reading it.

TOTAL: 87/90