Author : bebexo

Title : Lost And Found 

Reviewer : thederpchanyeol

 

---

Title: 4/5

The title is simple, yet mysterious. It made me curious of how the story will flow, on who will be lost, who will be found, etc.

Oh, and there's no problem with the capitalization. Good job!

 

Appearance: 5/5

I like the poster. Even though it looks more of a character chart, it's okay. I like its simplicity. There's also no problem with the way you wrote the fic. You're pretty consistent with the font, the size, and everything.

 

Foreword/Description: 8/10

It is short, but it's short enough to leave the readers wanting to read the whole story.

I think the pairings you wrote there are unnecessary. But it's okay.

 

Grammar and Spelling: 17/20

You don't have much problems with the grammar and spelling. But here are some minor mistakes I saw as I read your story:

 

You wrote: "Chi Hoon roared, causing his soon to be former employee to jump."

Correction: "Chi Hoon roared, causing his soon-to-be-former employee to jump."

 

You wrote: "You've been a trusted employee with Seo Technology for twenty-five years."

Correction: "You've been a trusted employee of Seo Technology for 25 years."

Yeah. You can just put '25' instead of spelling it out.

 

You wrote: "We're going to be there too."

Correction: "We're going to be there, too."

 

Oh, and on the last chapter, I think you repeated the first part. Try reading it and you'll see.:)

 

Plot and Originality: 16/20

I like the plot. It's simple but really exciting. I'm really fan of adventure-themed stories and this one is something I'll recommend to a friend. I just found it to be quite short.

Your story is pretty original. What made it not? Well, the kidnapping thingy as a revenge is kinda common already.

 

Characterization: 7/10

I don't think you portrayed some of the characters well. Kyuhyun's character here is okay, and also the girls'. I'm still confused of the other boys' characters. Maybe because it's a short story so, I didn't grasp their personalities.

 

Flow: 7/10

Honestly, I found it fast, especially on the last part. You could have showed what really happened to Kris, Seohyun and Kyuhyun. And also, what happened to Lay after he was killed? Anyways, the first part flowed nicely.

 

Writing Style: 5/5

You have no problem with this. You're pretty consistent with the way you write.

 

Overall Enjoyment: 8/10

Though I found it short, I enjoyed it. I told you, I'm a fan of adventure stories.:)

 

Bonus: 4/5

LuYoon! They're really sweet.XD

Continue to write, author-nim. You're already a good writer and I'm sure you can be better than that. Hwaiting!

 

 

TOTAL: 81/100