Story Title : I’m Not A Monster

Author : Renren96

Reviewer : chichichi24

Title [3/5]

It was a pretty interesting title, the word ‘monster’  made it somewhat mysterious and make me want to read your story; I definitely will click your story if it happened to crossed while I searching for a good fanfic. But in my surprise, when I searched it on the search bar above, many fanfic with the same title popped out. So I guess it was a pretty common title that everyone could think since it was taken from song lyrics, BigBang-Monster, if I’m not mistaken.

For chapter title―yes, chapter title, you need to give your chapter a different title. ‘I’m Not A Monster’ was your main title. Each chapter needed a title too, which will make us, reader, curious about what going to happen in that chapter.

And for capitalization, it should be: “I’m Not a Monster”

Appearance [5/5]

I have no complaints, it was beautiful. And I think you choose the right character, TOP really didn’t look like human. Haha… he looked like he popped out from manga (my personal thought).

But I guess you can enable the option: ‘Use this image for all chapters’ or having chapter poster to make your chapters more appealing.

Ah, and I just noticed it that you use the different font on the latest chapter. I think you should just stick to one kind of font for the time being.

Foreword/ Description [9/10]

Your description content which was author note should be placed on the foreword, and vice versa.

Your foreword―which supposed to be description―was short and simple yet make me curious. Especially the last sentence, it creating the sound inside me said, ‘click the next button!’ haha ^^

So overall, you did a great job for making the reader curious instead of revealing your story plot ^^

Originality [23/25]

I’m not sure yet, I’m not used to read this kind of story since I’m more into romance. But well, yeah, it was the first time I read the story like this.

I must say that this story was interesting because it wasn’t like most of the fan fictions out there, which contained with too much spoken sentence. While yours, there was a little amount of spoken sentence, and it was concentrated on Seunghyun’s internal conflicts, or in another word, conflicts with himself. He seemed to have many problem, many pain.

I really am curious and cannot figure it out what will happen next ^^ keep it up!

Spelling/Punctuation [15/20]

Since you disabled the text selection, it was pretty hard to spot the spelling mistakes. But I did find some, which can be included into typos:

• I looked up for a second to see te [the] bartender…
• Make sure you know the difference between loose and lose. Your sentence, “I had everything to loose…” and “as I had nothing to loose at the time.” Didn’t click well with word ‘loose’.

I don’t know how to explain it, so I will just give you the antonym so you know the meaning difference. The antonym of loose is tight, while the antonym of lose is win.

• Rememer should be ‘remember’.
• Famailar should be familiar.
• Etc;

--

I didn’t really find punctuation errors. I just find one error that most of writer did―yeah, spoken sentence’s comma.

As you know, comma is used to give reader a breath, not to separate sentences. While period or full stop is used to separate two different sentences.

The base thing is you cannot separate the word ‘said’  and its synonym with spoken sentence. Because the word ‘said’ cannot stand alone, and you must connect them with a comma.

Here’s how you write: “I gotta go.” She said with a sigh as she stood up and pushed the chair back with the back of her knees.

This is middle school lesson; I don’t really remember, but you will know if those sentences cannot be separated when you remove one of those sentences and it will look weird.

So, because ‘said’ cannot stand alone, if I remove the spoken sentence, it will become like this: She said with a sigh as she stood up and pushed the chair back with the back of her knees.

Looks weird, isn’t it? So you aren’t supposed to separate them. Just connect them with a comma and don’t capitalize the first word after comma because it isn’t a new sentence: “I gotta go,” she said with a sigh as she stood up and pushed the chair back with the back of her knees.

However, if there’s no word such as ‘said’  and its synonym, you can put the period.

Oh! And just use one punctuation mark. (e.g. “Choi Seunghyun!!!) You don’t need to abuse your keyboard, you know ^^

Sorry, I’m terrible at explaining ==” you can ask me later *bow*

Characterization [10/10]

Well, you did a great job with TOP’s character! I can really understand how he acted and so on~ it was a strong character. Keep maintaining it ^^ full marks!

Writing Style [9/10]

I don’t have anything to complain about your writing style beside that you write a too short chapter. I need a chapter that makes me keep reading for five minutes or more.

Besides being too short, I think you like making people curious. Honestly, I am still confused about what was actually happened to Seunghyun. He seems to have too many thought, and it’s all about being in a pain.

I hope you will write a longer chapter and revealing what this ‘Monster’ all about ^^

Enjoyment [9/10]

I actually enjoying it very much, there’s no fatal point that make me stop to correcting it. But still, some part made me confused. Especially chapter 2, the third paragraph from the bottom.

Other than that, great job ^^

Bonus [5/5]

For make me curious? Yeah ^^

TOTAL: 88/100